#But I cant go to a mental hospital for this mental illness because theywont take me unless I try to kill myself
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#man ocd is not even fun#like ill have panic attacks over my medical obsession#like#I cant clean my room because everything I do all day every day is detract myself#The emergency room folks KNOW ME#But I cant go to a mental hospital for this mental illness because theywont take me unless I try to kill myself#and I cant afford therapy#so my whole life is just#oooo touhou oooo btd6 oooo cookie clickers number go up i forgot about obsessions!#ooo adhd go br#All while I get ACTUALLY sicker but not being able to commit to appointments because shit just keeps coming up#and the fact that my whole life is stalled makes my impending doom feeling be like#Impending doom: Hey OCD! Im so glad were friends so I can trigger you! Its so much fun!#SO IM FUCKED#IM JUST GONNA KEEP COPING UNTIL I KILL MYSELF#BECAUSE IM NOT GONNA THINK#oh i have a plan to kill myself im going to go get help at a hospital :)#it will be#FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK IV ASKED FOR HELP AND NOBODY IS HELPING AND THE PAIN IS TOO MUCH#so
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