Life Changes Part 5 || Paul Bissonnette
Summary: It’s crazy how quickly your life can change...one minute you’re a struggling personal injury lawyer and the next you’re working for one of the hottest sports podcasts to supplement your income. A new job and the end of a long-term relationship was just the beginning for Leigh Thompson when it comes to life changes. Thankfully she has the one and only Paul Bissonnette at her side to help her handle them all.
Authors Note: I have finally finished my rewrite!!! *Cue happy dance* While previous parts had an hundred words added here, four hundred added there....I basically doubled the length of what this was previously. You can expect multiple fluffy parts and as before I swear Paul will physically be in the next part.
Requested: [ ] yes [x] no
Warnings: none
Word Count: 4,541 (plus all the added image content)
“Will it be easy? Nope. Worth it? Absolutely.”
The rest of my trip to Arizona was filled with more morning sickness, more tears, and more emotional uncertainty. I had tried sleeping in the guest bedroom again the night after ending up in Paul’s bed after finding out I was pregnant, but it only led to tossing and turning. Just like he’d noticed something was wrong with me being sick, Paul also noticed that I clearly hadn’t slept so after that he’d insisted that I stay in his bed with him so he could hold me, allowing me to actually feel calm enough for sleep to come.
Though I had initially protested because I was worried it would cross the lines of friends and coworkers, he assured me that his intentions were purely platonic and that he just wanted me to get the sleep my body needed to function and to support the little one growing inside me. My agreement was tentative, but when his actions fully supported his words, I found myself eager to steal as much comfort from his presence and touch as I could. The fact that his body was warm and I had always run cold certainly didn’t hurt either.
I wasn’t ready for my week in Arizona with Paul to come to an end, but the morning of my flight arrived and I found myself reluctantly boarding the plane back east. Returning home meant losing Paul’s physical comfort and support but not once did I lose the emotional, and some days it felt like he was the only thing getting me through. There were nights where I couldn’t fall asleep if I didn’t have his voice speaking softly in my ear. Sometimes it was the podcast or his radio broadcast for Arizona but if I was lucky, he’d call and just talk to me about random things until I would drift off to sleep. While we had texted frequently before I went to Arizona, our conversations were now constant. He was always quick with a supportive pick-me-up or with a joke that never failed to make me smile. At a time where so much was change occurring in my life and my brain was struggling to adapt, he was a constant that steadied me and reminded me that I could handle everything that was coming my way. He had become an unexpected friend, but one that I desperately needed.
Slowly over the next few weeks, I acclimated to the knowledge that I was expecting a child, that I was going to be a single mother, and I did my best to begin planning for the changes I would need to make.
One of the first things I needed to do was to see an ob-gyn to make sure that everything was actually going okay with the pregnancy. An appointment soon after arriving home established that I was indeed pregnant, if there had been any doubt left, and I’d gotten to hear the baby’s heartbeat for the first time.
It was no surprise that I’d cried hearing it and when I sent Paul the little audio clip during our text conversation after the appointment, his response was once again everything I didn’t know that I needed to hear.
The doctor had a rough guess of my due date based on my hormone levels and what I’d told her about the last time I’d had sex, but I was scheduled for an ultrasound mid-April in order to cement the timeframe for my pregnancy. I knew that I should tell my parents, that keeping this from them was probably a bad idea, but I convinced myself that it wouldn’t hurt to wait until I was certain I was out of the first trimester and that the baby was healthy. Considering that my mother and her cousin had both lost babies at the end of their pregnancies and that none of my mom’s successful pregnancies had been without some complication I felt justified in needing to keep this to myself until the risk of miscarriage decreased. I had shared my concerns with my doctor and with Paul and surprisingly he echoed my doctor’s statements that I was not my mother and that just because she had had complications didn’t mean that I would as well.
____
Two weeks later, I had my first ultrasound and after leaving the doctor’s office I couldn’t stop staring at the photos. The doctor had assured me that the baby was perfectly healthy and its development was where it should be at 12 weeks along. Pure joy was the predominant emotion of the day and I couldn’t help but want to share that feeling with someone. Since Paul was the only person who knew about the baby aside from my doctor, I couldn’t help but take a picture of my sonogram and text it to him.
Since he was currently in Toronto and had gone to the Leafs game the night before, I wasn’t expecting a response right away. So when my phone rang only about fifteen minutes after I’d sent the photo and Paul’s picture lit up the screen I couldn’t help but smile.
“Hey.” I murmured in greeting, setting aside the mail I’d grabbed when I’d gotten home so that I could go curl up on my couch to talk to him. Instead of the greeting I expected on the other end of the line, I instead heard a sharp intake of breath.
“Wow…that’s…that’s the baby?” He inquired, his tone hinting at wonderment.
“Yeah, Paul. That’s the little human who has been making me sick for the past month. Pretty cool huh…I can’t stop staring at it.”
“Yeah..no. I can see why Leigh. So everything’s okay?” He didn’t say it but his tone implied that he knew that I had been worried about the baby’s health and though the doctor had said everything seemed fine weeks ago, visual confirmation was reassuring.
“Perfect. The baby is healthy, right where they should be development wise. The doctor would like me to get my stress levels down but understands why they’ve been up. Otherwise, I’m healthy too. All is good.”
“Good. I’m glad. Did you find out your due date?” There was really no way to describe how much I loved that Paul seemed interested in my pregnancy. We were just friends but there was no doubt in my mind that I could go to him about anything and he would listen with no judgment.
“Yeah. November 5th. Right before the holidays.” It was crazy how fast things seemed to be moving and I was sure that that date would be here before I knew it.
“That seems so far away but it’s really not.” Again it was like Paul could read my mind and I giggled softly, pressing a palm to my stomach.
“I know.” Closing my eyes for a moment I yawned softly. “So you’ve been busy in Toronto. Having a good time?”
Listening to Paul talk about his visit to his parents and his upcoming flight to Vancouver to close on a house made me smile, more occasional yawns escaping my mouth.
“Hey… you sound tired. Why don’t you and the dustbunny go lay down for a nap?” It took my mind a moment to process that he had just nicknamed the baby and my face crinkled curiously.
“Dustbunny?” I questioned softly. “Why is my baby a dustbunny Paul?” Teasing affection laced my voice as I waited for an explanation. Though I couldn’t see him, I felt like if I could he would certainly be running his fingers across his scalp with an embarrassed expression on his face.
“Are you really going to make me explain my nickname for your child?” He mumbled and I quickly nodded before it processed that he couldn’t see me either.
“Yes. Yes, I am.”
“Fine. I don’t know. A Duster…a duster is a guy that sits on the bench a lot collecting dust during games. Which I kind of was.” I could kind of see where he was going with this but kept quiet wanting to see what he’d say. “And you know...I kinda knew about the baby before anyone else so I’m a little attached okay, and so when I started thinking about what I wanted to call the baby that’s what popped into my head and I don’t know...I kinda like it.”
The fact that he had actually thought about a nickname for the baby instead of just calling it an ‘it’ or ‘baby’ or something like ‘peanut’ made me smile and the fact that what he came up with was attached to him in a way made it even better. It was adorable.
“That’s really cute. I suppose you can call the baby that and I’m okay with it.” My voice was moist, as it didn’t take too much to make me emotional these days.
“I’m glad you approve.” He replied, slight sarcasm lingering in the words. “Now go take the dustbunny and lay down for a nap. Doctor says you’re stressing too much so go take it easy. Biz’s orders.”
“Alright fine. I will. Once I stop staring at the pictures of the baby.” Again if I could see him he would totally be rolling his eyes at me and as I hung up, I couldn’t help but smile at the conversation we’d just had.
“Guess you’ve got your first nickname little one. You’re a little dustbunny.”
_______
It was the Thursday before Mother’s Day weekend and I was driving back to my parents’ house because my middle sister was graduating high school on Saturday. Every mile driven was another mile closer to having to tell my parents that I was having a baby. I was already fifteen weeks pregnant and my bump was becoming more and more obvious every day. And now that I was out of the first trimester, my excuse for keeping the news a secret had disappeared.
But knowing that I had to tell my family, and that it was time didn’t mean that I wasn’t freaking out. Part of me felt silly for being so nervous because yes I was single, but I had a graduate degree and two solid jobs; when my parents had me they had been half a decade younger, unmarried, and had just barely graduated with undergraduate degrees. I was in a much better position than they had been and yet I still worried about what they’d think about the fact that my baby’s father was never going to be in the picture.
After stopping for lunch and gas, I climbed back into my car and just sat there trying to calm the nerves that were building inside me. Almost like he knew I needed him, my phone rang with Paul’s picture appearing and I answered softly, the hitch in my breath alerting him to my distress as always. There was something about hearing his voice that was immediately calming and I closed my eyes for a moment just listening to him telling me to breathe and counting softly until I was finally able to push away some of the anxiety that was creeping into my mind. Deciding that I was of sound enough mind to start driving again, I put Paul on speaker through my car’s sound system.
“So hey…” Paul started, his tone changing a bit from consoling me to trying to provide a distraction so that I didn’t end up drowning in my own mind again. “I was bored on my flight to Vancouver yesterday and I ended up googling some stuff you’ll find pretty cool. Dustbunny is currently the size of a pear. That’s still pretty fucking tiny but I know he or she still has lots of time to keep growing.” I had an app on my phone that told me this kind of thing every week but his attempt at distraction was working and I was amused by the fact that he had researched this of all things on his flight yesterday.
“Dustbunny also has see-through skin which is weird but awesome and it’s made even cooler by the fact that he or she finally has bones that are becoming hard and can be seen on xray.” The awe that laced Paul’s voice had my smile widening and I couldn’t help but think that even though my baby didn’t have a dad, they had an awesome Uncle Paul and that made him or her pretty lucky.
“Also...dustbunny’s ears and eyes are finally almost where they should be on his or her head which is good because otherwise I’d have to beat up a bunch of kids for teasing them and I figure that’s probably frowned upon.” He was so matter of fact with the statement of protection that I felt a chuckle slipping from my throat and when he spoke again it was obvious he’d heard it and was now smiling. “And you haven’t mentioned feeling the baby yet, but I read that little dustbunny is moving around in there like crazy, kicking and moving his or her arms and legs, practicing so that he or she can become an awesome hockey player like their favorite uncle.”
It was then that Paul transitioned from what he’d read about the baby’s development to all of the things he wanted to teach them when they finally arrived. The conversation between the two of us continued…well he did most of the talking and I mostly listened...until I was pulling off the exit ramp in my hometown. Paul must have realized I was almost home when I cracked the windows for a bit of fresh air now that I was on back roads because he stopped mid-sentence and spoke my name softly.
“Hey...just so you know, it’s all gonna be fine. I know you’re nervous but your parents love you and they’re gonna have your back. Plus you’ve said you’re fairly sure your sisters are going to be excited so if nothing else, just focus on that.” He declared and I took a deep breath, nodding to myself. “And you know you can call me whenever. I’m just a few taps on a screen away.”
________
Upon arriving home, my middle sister, Amanda, let me inside pulling me into a hug and we spent the rest of the afternoon talking about her plans now that she was finally done with her primary education. Shortly after, my baby sister Taylor, and mom arrived home and when I hugged the latter I prayed that she wouldn’t notice the baby bump sticking from my front. With so much to prepare before more family drove out tomorrow, the four of us set to work in the kitchen, preparing as much of the food for the weekend as we could ahead of time.
As long as I kept myself busy, it was easy to pretend that I wasn’t about to drop a bombshell on my family. But eventually my dad arrived home from work and we sat down in the living room to eat dinner and watch whatever game show was on tv. I knew that I needed to eat but now that I had stopped moving my stomach was flopping back and forth with nerves. As they all wrapped up eating, I set my still half-full plate aside and bit my lip for a moment.
“Can I talk to you guys about something for a minute?” I found that as soon as the words came out in a whisper that I had the full attention of everyone else in the room. With my mom looking to my dad to mute the TV, she murmured that of course I could and instantly all the feelings I had bottled up caused tears to prick at my eyes.
“So um ...your first grandbaby slash niece or nephew is going to be here by Thanksgiving this year.” The silence was overwhelming and I found myself unable to meet the gaze of anyone in the room.
“Are you pregnant?” It was Taylor that asked the million dollar question and when I simply nodded she squealed before dashing around the couch to hug me. Neither of my parents said a word for a long moment and I swallowed hard awaiting their reaction.
“How?” The question that left my mom’s mouth wasn’t the most appropriate one because I knew that she obviously knew the answer to that, otherwise I wouldn’t be sitting here. When further questions of ‘how far along I was’ and ‘where was the father’ came forth I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, one hand falling to my stomach.
“I’m fifteen weeks...and he’s not in the picture.” Though my mother masked her anger well, I could tell that she was upset so after taking a sip of water to clear my throat I continued. “I...I didn’t know how to tell you. I….I didn’t take the news so well myself at first and by the time I adjusted I had myself so worked up over everything that I decided to wait until I was out of the first trimester before I told anyone.” By this point, Amanda had shifted across the couch and was rubbing my back gently as I attempted to explain myself.
“But the baby and I are healthy. And we’re gonna be okay. I just hope you guys can support me through this because I really need you.” Wrapped in the arms of both my sisters, I let myself cry for a moment. I had counted on them being the fastest to adapt because I was their big sister and not viewed in the same light as I was by my parents. “As for baby’s dad...I’ll be honest with you. The story the world is going to hear is that he was a one night stand and I don’t know who he is; because that’s just easier. The truth...the truth is that we were together for eight months before he broke up with me and I have no plans on telling him about the baby. I know you might think that’s wrong but shortly after he ended things I found out that he’d been cheating on his long-time girlfriend with me and that they’re now married. I am not putting my baby through the hassle of a split home and custody issues when I can do this by myself. He did nothing but lie to me and I don’t want my baby around him.”
Finishing my spiel, I realized that my father was no longer in the room and I held my breath trying not to assume the worst from that fact. My mother was silent before eventually coming over, pulling me to my feet, and giving me a hug.
“You’re gonna be a great mom sweetheart. I’ve never had any doubts about that.” That validation from her was exactly what I needed and I sunk into her embrace feeling more of the tension I’d been holding in leave. “I just wish you hadn’t waited so long to tell me...I hate that you’ve been dealing with this on your own for months.” After a moment, I pulled back just a bit and sighed.
“I uh...technically there’s one person that knows besides my doctor. I was visiting one of my coworkers and he’s actually the one that figured out I was pregnant. So he knows and has talked me down from the ledge a few times, he’s been a really good friend.” Surprisingly, my mother seemed okay with that and just held me close for a few minutes, her fingers carding through my hair drawing most of the remaining tension from my body. Eventually though, Taylor spoke up again, her tone full of excitement.
“Well..do you have any pictures of the baby?” She asked and I found myself laughing at her eagerness as I nodded.
“Of course I do. I also have a recording of the baby’s heartbeat.” From the moment I played the audio for the first time and pulled up the set of ultrasound pictures on my phone I knew that at least most of my family was on my side. Showing off my growing baby bump and hearing their reactions as to how cute it was lifted my spirits even further.
It wasn’t until I stepped into the kitchen a little while later to get more water that I truly got my father’s reaction. Part of me was surprised when he tapped my shoulder before wrapping me in another hug where he mumbled that he loves me and was there for whatever I needed. Overall, the conversation with my parents and sisters had gone for the most part how I’d expected and hoped that it would. Unsurprisingly, there was a bit of disappointment at the situation, but once everyone got past that initial reaction it was clear that I had their support and that this baby was going to be very loved. As I snuggled up on the sofa bed to sleep that night, I texted Paul just to let him know that everything was okay and to thank him for earlier.
______
The arrival of extended family for Amanda’s graduation made me nervous. It was another group of people I needed to tell that I was expecting and another group of people whose reactions I wasn’t certain of. Unsure of how to break the news and wanting the weekend to be about my sister, I kept quiet both Friday and Saturday, just enjoying the time I had with my family.
On Sunday morning, my mom was hosting a big brunch for everyone to celebrate my sister’s graduation as well as Mother’s Day. Getting up early, I hopped in the shower before getting dressed in a pair of shorts and a flowy blouse which would once again hide my bump. My grandmother was already in the kitchen with my mom while Taylor and my dad set up the backyard so that there was room for people to sit. It wasn’t more than two minutes after I’d stepped into the kitchen offering to help that Amanda came into the room carrying a bouquet of flowers.
The flowers took me by surprise because my mom already had the bouquet from my dad in a vase on the counter, so I wasn’t sure where these came from or who they were for. After all, the house was going to be full of women today who were moms and could be getting flowers delivered. Setting the flowers down, Amanda handed me the card that was inside them and seeing my name on the front of the envelope I opened it, slipping the card out.
Inside the card was a slip of paper which listed the flowers as anemones and explained that they represented anticipation and protection.
Reading the card to myself twice I couldn’t help but start crying, the gesture meaning more than I could explain. The flowers were absolutely perfect and the fact that he sent something so fitting sent a chill down my spine. Amanda sent me a smile as I excused myself for a moment, needing to pull myself together.
By the time I’d returned to the kitchen, card securely tucked into my pocket, more of my family had arrived and were chatting in the kitchen. Pouring myself a glass of orange juice I listened as my aunt commented on the flowers and how different and pretty they were to my mother, believing they had been sent for her.
Quickly my mother pointed out her own mother’s day bouquet and my aunt then questioned whether they had been delivered for Amanda’s graduation. When my sister shook her head everyone looked around curiously and after a nod of encouragement from both my mom and sister I spoke up.
“They were delivered for me.” I explained, a soft blush gracing my cheeks. “A friend sent them for Mother's Day,” I added, watching as everyone’s faces started to shift processing the implications of my words.
“You’re pregnant?” It was a family friend who was like an aunt to me that asked the question, and the excitement in her tone forced a beaming smile onto my face.
“Yeah. I’m pregnant.” I admitted causing the room to burst with a mixture of excitement, disbelief, and concern. Accepting some hugs I tried not to let my emotions become too much. Addressing the more reserved members of my family I spoke as confidently as I could manage.
“This wasn’t planned and no the father isn’t in the picture. But that’s okay, I’ve made my peace with it and I know it won’t be easy, trust me it has been anything but so far, but I’m excited, I already love this baby so much.”
After a moment, the rest of my family seemed to come to terms with the announcement and I was pulled into more hugs, causing me to tear up while laughing to myself softly.
My grandmother was the first to ask if I had any pictures. Nodding, I smiled and opened my phone to show off my baby’s first ultrasound photos. Everyone wanted to know how far along I was and seemed shocked when I admitted that I was almost sixteen weeks along.
After about fifteen minutes of baby talk, it was my cousin that moved the conversation back to the flowers in a way, asking about who had sent them.
“Just a friend and one of the guys I work on the podcast with.” I stated softly. I knew that everyone would wonder how many people knew before they did and so I answered the question before it was asked. “He’s the only one besides the people in this house that knows. He was with me when I found out. Actually, he suspected that I was pregnant and insisted on taking me to the doctor. He’s kept me from losing my mind as I processed the news.”
“And the card?” Laughing, I pulled the card from my pocket, reading it aloud. Everyone was impressed by the fact that he even put the effort in to pick out something beyond the standard carnation and when I explained what the flowers were supposed to mean they ‘awe’d’ commenting on how fitting that was. As expected the next question was about the term dustbunny and I shook my head declaring that there wasn’t really an explanation for it other than that it was hockey lingo that he’d adapted into a nickname for the baby. I mentioned that it was something I loved because it was different and personal and unique to my baby given to it by someone who had been in our corner from the start.
Now that the news was out there, I couldn’t help but feel relieved that my baby was no longer a secret. It was the perfect way to spend my first Mother's Day and I couldn’t help but be grateful that Paul made it so easy to share the news by providing a natural transition into the subject.
Somehow he made everything easier and I was so grateful to have him in my life.
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