#Bloodsuckajones
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Bloodsucka Jones vs the Creeping Death (2017) Sure this is a sequel but you don't need to see the first one because you were never going to understand these wacka doo doos anyways. This schizophrenic movie throws more insane characters and jumps to more random situations or "gags" than Saturday night Live remaking Crisis on Infinite earth guzzling 20 cans of 4loco. Stewart a wacky ex vampire turned suburban male Karen bad guy slightly possessed by Ryan Reynolds has poisoned the town and is turning people into zombies. His awkward as hell vampire slaying neighbours recruit action hero Blood Sucks Jones to help them again save the day. Along the way they meet cats on skateboards, sexy librarians, ghost cheerleaders, the Stetler and Waldorf of drug dealers and a purple professor puppet. A puppet reminiscent of both Camp Death 3 in 2d and Moopet Pastor. So now you know what you're getting into..NO..No you don't. Every scene will make you laugh but you will also say what the fuck does that mean..but at least you will laugh…right? ….RIGHT? With winks and cameos of other low budget oddballs proving if they were gonna go insane they are taking everyone with them. These ab so lute maniacs cracked reality and I dare you to watch it. The film makers have a new project called Xanadu Hellfire which guess what jabronis..you can see it at Terriblefest 6 March 26th at Eyesore Cinema in Toronto. So hurry watch this nutbar film on Tubi and hurry to join us to watch their next film with us and try not to chafe your nipples on the way. #bmovies #zombies (ok it's kind of about zombies)
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“Xanadu Hellfire” (2023)
Sunday, April 9th, 2023 (15:51)
JEFELEN was delighted to sign up with The Nitwit Consortium™ to serve as Executive Producer on Justin Armao's fantastical action-comedy, "Xanadu Hellfire" (the latest feature-length instalment in his "Bloodsucka Jones" movie trilogy), which is now available to purchase on region-free blu-ray through the Etsy™ e-commerce platform:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/xanaduhellfire
An eight-year-old girl discovers an improbable means through which to miraculously summon the warrior heroine of her favourite comic book series, "Xanadu Hellfire", from the future to the present, and moreover, from the illustrated pages of fiction to reality! Xanadu's evil sister manages to follow, and things get a bit crazy from there. Inspired by everything from "Conan" to "Thor", "Mad Max" to "Clerks" -- there's bound to be a little something for everyone here. Unless you're a fan of energy beams being emitted from people's hands -- the movie probably could have benefitted from MORE of those, in hindsight...
Independently produced and distributed, "Xanadu Hellfire" is either available on its own, or packaged as part of an Atomic Cotton™ t-shirt & disc collector's bundle. But do take considered note of the disclaimer presented upon the reversible cover sleeve: this film contains a lot of cursing... but it's okay because it was done by nine-year-olds. M'yeah.
Streaming options to follow in June sometime -- watch for future updates...
#XanaduHellfire #BloodsuckaJones #TheNitwitConsortium #JustinArmao #AvailableNOW #SupportIndependentCinema
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BREAK!!**
{X}
Monday, April 10th, 2023 (15:51)
In addition to the aforementioned Etsy™ retail outlet, there is also an official Bloodsucka Jones storefront to be found on TeePublic.com, which incidentally plays host to a variety of fetching "Xanadu Hellfire" merchandised garments as well:
http://www.teepublic.com/user/bloodsuckajones
Among the assortment of themed designs (which each come in your choice of fit and style, from an impressive array of fabric colours) is the original title logo:
http://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/24433817
Then there's the movie poster shirt:
http://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/33662043
Sucka's Badass Burgers™ branded employee shirt:
http://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/25333999
And surely EVERYBODY needs their very own Becky shirt:
http://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/34324330
Join the club -- all the COOL kids are wearing those (just ask Chloe Sligar!). But need help selecting your appropriate size? Then look no further:
http://www.teepublic.com/sizechart
And as a bonus Easter incentive, for the next hour, the price for all of these great fashion items is reduced by 27% -- NOW'S THE TIME TO BUY!! Don't miss out. #SupportIndependentCinema
Tuesday, June 6th, 2023 (15:51)
Well now, look what arrived in the mail!
In addition to my consignment of garments from TeePublic.com, see here an Atomic Cotton™ t-shirt, Sucka's Badass Burgers™ paraphernalia (including burger and fries packaging, along with an assortment of five thermal colour-change tumblers), hand-drawn storyboards (which appear relatively blank in this photograph, due to their grey lead constitution), a shooting breakdown, a used clapperboard (signed by the cast & crew on the reverse side), and a copy of the movie on blu-ray -- what is this, Christmas?! Huge thanks again to Justin and his Nitwit Consortium™ for getting this lot to me, all the way from the other side of the planet! Champion. #IndependentCinemaSupported
Tuesday, April 11th, 2023 (15:51)
If that particular short-time offer wasn't music to your ears, then perhaps this will be: the delightfully infectious "Xanadu Hellfire" theme song by Benjamin "Benjiphonik" Stewart is available on the Bandcamp™ online audio distribution platform:
http://benjiphonik.bandcamp.com/track/xanadu-hellfire
Conversely, it can also be enjoyed through the following:
SoundCloud™:
http://soundcloud.com/benjiphonik/xanadu-hellfire
YouTube™:
http://music.youtube.com/watch?v=6mToFk6hFZc
Amazon Music™:
http://music.amazon.com/albums/B0BHBY7LNR
Apple Music™:
http://music.apple.com/.../xanadu-hellfire-single/1648403137
Spotify™:
http://open.spotify.com/track/5x4ERR31i1kQx7szUJ92g5
Shazam™:
http://www.shazam.com/track/635771636/xanadu-hellfire
Deezer™:
http://www.deezer.com/album/363575027
Qobuz™:
http://www.qobuz.com/.../xanadu-hellfire.../qxmftrlmbxsgb
So crank up the volume and rock out with those gravelly paragogic vowels!
Wednesday,
{X}
Saturday, April 15th, 2023 (15:51)
When producing an independent sci-fi epic on a tight micro-budget (developed in conjunction with a faux tie-in comic book prop, no less), innovative revenue-raising techniques must be called into play.
Disclosure: the substantial proceeds of the Swear Jar™ in point of fact went directly to the two young starlets of the movie (at their expletive-laden insistence!).
Sunday, April 16th, 2023 (15:51)
Close-up focus on the comic cover and stamp corner box illustrations, revealing late-'90s stylistic sensibilities in detail. The identities of the artists responsible have since been lost to the wasteland sands of time, as they were individually problematic to deal with, and thus elicited further utilisation of the Swear Jar™...
Fun fact: only a half dozen sequential pages were produced for this singular publication, which were then repeated several times over to fill out the bulk of the printed issue. #MovieMagic #AshcanTechnique #ComicsCodeApproved
Monday, April 17th, 2023 (15:51)
The initial pitch poster, seen here as it was presented to me back in 2021:
Tuesday, April 18th, 2023 (15:51)
Anyone out there who has already acquired a "Xanadu Hellfire" blu-ray would be familiar with this, as it effectively serves as one side of the reversible cover inlay card, but here is the finalised promotional one-sheet:
Wednesday, April 19th, 2023 (15:51)
Design B, serving as the reverse blu-ray packaging option which, if I'm to be subjectively honest, I prefer of the two, personally, with its amethyst colour palette and crafty integration of the original key art as part of its ensemble showcasing:
{X}
Thursday, April 20th, 2023 (15:51)
And finally (for now...), anyone who's not only seen "Xanadu Hellfire", but watched through the closing credits in their entirety, would have surely noticed this little teaser tucked away at the end there -- indeed, the conceptual seeds have been tantelisingly sewn, ladies and gents, so if popular demand might happen to ensue, we'd be gladly obliged to look into the prospect of making a SEQUEL...! #LetUsKnow
Sunday, July 9th, 2023 (15:51)
Okay, so as an update, it's been three months since I announced the physical release of "Xanadu Hellfire", and while discs absolutely remain available to the consumer public (so be sure to get your orders in!), it's now also possible to download the movie from Apple TV™, either as a rental or purchase:
http://tv.apple.com/movie/umc.cmc.4ofzynbuwykza5l32lqruqs1e
With more digital platforms to follow...
{x}
Friday, March 15th, 2024 (15:51)
2024 UPDATE: more digital platforms have indeed followed, with "Xanadu Hellfire" now available to stream through the following providers:
Tubi™:
http://www.tubitv.com/movies/100005478
Plex™:
http://watch.plex.tv/watch/movie/xanadu-hellfire
Reveel™:
http://www.reveel.net/programs/1301008/1301008
STARZPLAY™:
http://www.starzplay.com/en/movies/459770920008
Feel FREE to take your pick!
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Got a full night of films for the #MondayNightMovie tonight, #March 14th. The #FridayNightHorrorShow #Meetup will feature... 😎🎫🍿🥤💺📽️🎞️🎬🎭🩸😱 7:30 PM ET 🎬 #EvilDead 1981 🎞️ by #director 📣 #SamRaimi at @AlamoDrafthouseDC #GraveyardShift movie event series 7:30 PM EST 🎬 #X 2022 🎞️ by dir 📣 #TiWest at #AlamoDrafthouseDC #AdvanceScreening by @A24 Get your tickets at https://drafthouse.com/dc-metro-area/theater/dc-bryant-street 🤓🍺🥧🛋️🌐🎞️🎬🎭🩸😱 The #WashingtonPsychotronicFilmSociety #online film for tonight will be 🎬 #BloodsuckaJones 2013 🎞️ by dir 📣 #JustinArmao with video shorts starting at 6 PM ET Let's 👀 at https://w2g.tv/9flpivbxh9eje4gqui Check out our 📆 for future events at https://www.facebook.com/wpfs.org/events/ #MovieNightintheDMV #MovieWatcher #ILoveMovies #ILoveHorrorMovies #MondayMotivation #localevents #DCevents (at Washington D.C.) https://www.instagram.com/p/CbF5HEyLt0P/?utm_medium=tumblr
#mondaynightmovie#march#fridaynighthorrorshow#meetup#evildead#director#samraimi#graveyardshift#x#tiwest#alamodrafthousedc#advancescreening#washingtonpsychotronicfilmsociety#online#bloodsuckajones#justinarmao#movienightinthedmv#moviewatcher#ilovemovies#ilovehorrormovies#mondaymotivation#localevents#dcevents
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Ah Yeah my buddie Bloodsucka Jones #midsummerscream2019 #bloodsuckajones #bloodsuckajonesvsthecreepingdeath (at Midsummer Scream) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0zIIDXlwSDpim8x_2wbaxBKR2qZ0yA2eeMhFc0/?igshid=lu953vp3jhtv
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Many Happy Returns to Mister Preston Gant @prestongant aka @bloodsuckajones Congratulations! #iphonex #shotoniphone #teamiphone #mobilephotography #lifesbetterwhenyoumakestuff https://www.instagram.com/p/CPzmHSyBeIa/?utm_medium=tumblr
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Round two!! @mh2eco @scooperstheshow @evan.strand @bopetept @bloodsuckajones @dkatequintero #liveandloveyourlife
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Screen cap for the #tv #interview with @melody_trice on the #themelodytriceshow with the cast of @christmaswithcookie @bloodsuckajones @evantmack @kevinlau_76 check it on https://youtu.be/s7R5T_-cpkY
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Many Happy Returns to Mister Preston Gant @prestongant aka @bloodsuckajones Congratulations! #iphonex #shotoniphone #teamiphone #mobilephotography #lifesbetterwhenyoumakestuff (at Corona, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CPzjUhUBABi/?utm_medium=tumblr
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First set of t-shirts for the sit-com SCOOPERS!! Get ready!! @mh2eco @bopetept @scooperstheshow @evan.strand @bloodsuckajones @bedlamvodka #liveandloveyourlife @dkatequintero
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