the way John's growing up with a dad who constantly glorifies himself + exposes John to trauma (physical neglect, graphic videos, etc) + overall treats his son like a walking tape recorder for him to speak into, all so he can control who his son is/will ever be...and the way John has a mom who is reluctant to hold him + is drunk in front of him all the time + generally does what she can to avoid being mentally & emotionally present around her family

the EXCITEMENT i felt when John was literally throwing a ball with another child. A kid who was talking about JOHN! Saying nice things about who John IS!! WOW IMAGINE THAT---

Barry may spend a lot of time with his son but John literally froze in his tracks at the sight of people playing baseball. He knows his father's company but his parents never provide him a mutual back and forth. When he's playing with the kid they both take turns catching and throwing; they're equally important. Where else does John ever get that