#And spouse choose the kilt so they could wear a skirt without at least some of the inevitable vitriol about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thesaltyace · 11 months

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Y'all, my partner's colleague invited us (and others) to Drag Bingo this Sunday. And I'm absolutely giddy with excitement -- not just for Drag Bingo, but also because I am going to absolutely ROAST this woman.

We've long suspected that our queerness flew right over her head, but now we have irrefutable confirmation.

Colleague: "I'm so glad you guys are coming on Sunday!"

Spouse: "Yeah, we're excited about it, we've not been to a drag show before."

Colleague: "What!? How have you never been to a drag show?!"

Spouse: "I mean... We've lived in West Texas for over a decade?"

Colleague: "No, I mean, you two are such big supporters, I would have assumed you've been to one before!"

Spouse was so, so tempted to say something, but they'd had a very long day and didn't have the bandwidth. But they gleefully shared this exchange with me and when I tell you I'm gathering receipts in preparation for Sunday...!

I'm 100% sure she's going to say something to the group we're going with about us being such big supporters but not having been to a drag show before. 💯

And the minute that happens, I'm going to roast the hell out of her.

For instance:

"Colleague... You've been to our house before."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

*turns phone around to reveal photos of three different pride art pieces throughout our home that she saw and commented on*

Or this:

"Colleague, you've liked almost every Facebook post I've made in the last three years that explicitly states I'm queer. Including one from last week."

And this:

"Colleague, Spouse shows up to work every pride month with painted nails. Do most straight cis men, even if they're allies, tend to paint their nails during pride month?"

Hmmm, and this?

"Colleague, Spouse has the Safe Space certification and two very specific pride flags posted on their office door. Does anyone else in the department, even the allies, do that? ...what do you think those flags are, exactly?"

And Spouse shall join in with:

"Colleague, I exclusively refer to myself with they/them pronouns. Every email. Every conversation. I point blank told you last month I've never identified myself as a boy. When you joked I could be Sir Nitrogen I said, 'What about Dame Nitrogen?'"

And Spouse will land the fatal blow:

"Colleague.... I show up to work every single day wearing a skirt. 👀"

#A kilt is a skirt #And spouse choose the kilt so they could wear a skirt without at least some of the inevitable vitriol about it #This colleague tries very hard to be an ally but she is so. painfully. straight. and. cis.#I'm laughing about this now but there's a very real possibility that she'll insist we're straight bc we're in a 'straight' relationship #And idk if I wanna have that conversation right before drag bingo

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