#Also this is 100% an exercise to find out how much gender fuckery and cis4trans love I can fit into one fic
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After Each Midnight Begins A New Day
Extra #13 - Mo Xuanyu and Lan Jingyi
[Listen, real question: What do I start calling these things that I write in this universe that aren't actually extras for the main fic? I call them all extras because that's what I started out writing alongside the main fic, but this is just straight up a different fic in the same universe, only very tangentially related to the main work. Is it still an extra? What is this??]
[P.S. This is completely self-indulgent fluff and Gender Feelings that I started writing last spring but never actually posted. Am I projecting so hard on Mo Xuanyu I essentially created a brand new character? Lol yeah, and many thanks to MXTX for not fleshing him out much at all in canon. He's free real estate.]
[Masterpost]
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Jinlintai is about as gaudy as Jingyi had expected it to be, just judging based on Jin Ling’s usual wardrobe and his haughty attitude that he still hasn’t managed to drop around them completely even after years of friendship.
He climbs the stairs of the tower with Zizhen and Sizhui making suitably impressed noises on either side of him. He nearly breaks their act when he meets Zizhen’s eyes and starts snickering at the disbelieving look he finds there (‘oh gods it’s even worse than we pictured’ his eyes scream and Jingyi knows his are screaming back ‘I know I know I know!!!’) but thankfully they’re saved by Sizhui stepping neatly on his foot with that serene smile of his still on his lips.
“Be kind,” Sizhui murmurs under his breath, too low for Jin Ling to overhear, and Jingyi shares an eyeroll with Zizhen. The day those two admit that they like each other is going to be the day all four of their lives get so much easier, honestly.
Thankfully when they reach the top they’re quickly swept into a receiving pavilion to be officially greeted by Jin Zongzhu and Madam Jin, the two of them clearly happy to have the three of them visiting. It’s a lovely welcome, and the moment the official greetings are over Jin Ling’s siblings are just as clingy and wild as their friend had warned them. It’s funny though, and the children are clearly happy so Jingyi doesn’t mind one bit. Jin Fei, at least, is clearly looking forward to having other people close to his age to hang out with besides Jin Ling, and Lan Jingyi suspects the twins are going to be equally as interested in spending time with them as new sparring partners if nothing else.
Jingyi is a little embarrassed when it takes him a few days to realize that there’s one member of the family who’s notoriously absent any time they’re all gathered in the same place.
“Hey-“ he finally says a few days into the visit, “Where’s your weird uncle you’re always whining about?”
“Yu-shushu? He’s uh…He’s busy,” Jin Ling deflects very poorly. Really, they’ll need to work on sharpening up his lying skills but for now it’s more fun to torment him, which is how he finds an excuse to grab Zizhen so they can both sit on their stupid best friend while Wen Sizhui laughs at their antics.
-/-
For all his teasing and cajoling when Jin Ling had said he was inviting his friends to Jinlintai for a few weeks, Mo Xuanyu is actually really happy for his nephew. Of course Jin Ling and his siblings are all fond of each other, and their enormous but ridiculously close family is pretty much a built-in friend group, but Mo Xuanyu is still proud of Jin Ling for going out into the world and making successful and fulfilling connections in the other sects.
And he knows Jin Ling probably didn’t really mean anything by asking Mo Xuanyu to hold off on meeting them. He’s much like Jin Zixuan in that way, back when he had been younger - talking first and only thinking about implications once the words are already out. Mo Xuanyu is as willing to be generous with Jin Ling as he was with Jin Zixuan so many years ago, fumbling his way through trying to comfort him, trying to be a good brother, trying to show him he cared about him.
He’s willing to give Jin Ling the benefit of the doubt and assume that his request has more to do with him not wanting Mo Xuanyu’s feelings to be hurt by his friends’ potentially negative reactions to meeting him, rather than embarrassment at having his friends see him related to someone like Mo Xuanyu.
Probably.
Maybe.
He knows he’s eccentric, is the thing. And that it’s perfectly fine and normal as long as it’s just the family around, or when Jin Zixuan lets him tell off asshole sect leaders who think they have a right to dictate how he acts in his own home because he makes them uncomfortable.
But Jin Ling is easily embarrassed, easily flustered, and Mo Xuanyu is pretty sure he wants to impress his guests (mostly because he’s pretty sure Jin Ling has a crush on at least one of these new friends of his, judging by how often the name ‘Wen Sizhui’ gets dropped).
Well, he amends, they’re not really new. Jin Ling had first met them years ago in Cloud Recesses when it was his turn for the summer lectures, but this is the first time any of them are coming here to Jinlintai rather than just meeting each other out on their night hunts or whenever Jin Ling travels with Jin Zixuan for sect business. So: new to seeing Jinlintai, new to meeting the family - new to meeting him, and he knows he’s a lot to take in.
He doesn’t judge Jin Ling for asking him to hide for a little bit, at least until his friends are more settled and they don’t have to worry about the boys becoming..overwhelmed by the force of his personality.
In the end, though, when he does meet them it’s entirely by accident and not his fault, Jin Ling, get over it.
He’s busy doing his favorite thing to keep himself entertained when everyone else is busy : he’s escorting little Jin Ye through Jinlintai wherever she wants to go and treating her like a princess. She’s the only one of her siblings still young enough not to be annoyed by his antics, to still find him absolutely delightful like her siblings once had, and he loves spending time with her in return, knowing that she’ll always appreciate it. He knows his family and the servants appreciate it too, that he keeps her out of trouble and in doing so keeps himself out from under their feet as well. Everybody wins that way, and Mo Xuanyu, for all the noise he makes about not wanting children of his own (which is true), loves spoiling his youngest niece as much as humanly possible.
This afternoon, he’s kneeling with her in one of the public peony gardens intently watching her watch a bug crawling across one of the closed buds of a Sparks Amidst Snow. They’ve been here for a while, which means his lap is already full of some of the choicest early blooms - according to Jin Ye’s impeccable taste - to take back to Jiang Yanli whenever it’s time to return inside.
He looks up from Jin Ye’s concentrated little face - reluctantly - at the sound of a burst of laughter and he smiles to see Jin Ling horsing around with his friends. They’re easy to identify even just based on what he knows of their names and the clothing standards of their clans, and so he knows when it’s Lan Jingyi in his soft blues and distinctive headband who gives Jin Ling a rough shove that almost sends him toppling into the flowers, and when Wen Sizhui in his red and white is the one who rescues him at the last moment with a hand under his elbow while Jin Ling splutters his indignation. It’s Ouyang Zizhen, in his deep jewel blues and purples, who spots Mo Xuanyu first, kneeling there amongst the flowers with a hand on Jin Ye’s back to steady her as she totters to her feet to follow the bug from one flower to the next. He offers a nod and an uncertain smile, wary of Jin Ling’s desire that he not meet his friends too soon, and is prepared to duck his head again and continue with his own business when the Ouyang boy calls out to him.
“Stop it you idiots! We apologize for the disruption, guniang,” Ouyang Zizhen calls and Mo Xuanyu blinks in surprise when he looks up and realizes the boy is bowing to him, and then his face splits into a delighted grin at being addressed as such even as Jin Ling coughs on a laugh and tries poorly to hide it.
“What’s the matter with you?” Lan Jingyi snaps and Mo Xuanyu muffles a laugh of his own into his sleeve at the sharpness in his voice that’s so biting he wonders for a second if he got the names wrong in his head - he’s never heard a Lan talk like that, and he’s met plenty of them over the years.
“Yu-shushu,” Jin Ling calls wearily with a pained look on his face. Calling out to him is no doubt more of a correction of Ouyang Zizhen’s assumption of his title and status rather than any actual desire to address him in this particular moment, and Mo Xuanyu has the pleasure of watching three comically identical looks of surprise cross his friends’ faces. Ouyang Zizhen looks particularly stricken, and so it’s to him that Mo Xuanyu directs a reassuring nod.
“Hello,” he calls with a wave - and then, because he can’t help being a little shit sometimes, he adds, “Hi LingLing, long time no see. Can I finally have the honor of meeting your boyfriends?” just to see his nephew splutter and his friends blush so brightly it makes him laugh all over again.
“What are you doing out here?” Jin Ling snaps. Mo Xuanyu waves a lazy hand in his direction, dismissive as he turns his attention back to Jin Ye.
“I can go anywhere I want to, A-Ling. And my favorite person in this entire world is very determinedly chasing a bug, so I’m watching with rapt attention to make sure I don’t miss a moment of the action.”
“You’re so weird, Yu-shushu,” Jin Ling grumbles with a huff as he straightens his robes and flicks his sleeves behind his back in a gesture he absolutely learned from Jin Zixuan - Mo Xuanyu makes a mental note to tease his brother about it at the next opportunity.
“Someone in this family needs to be. I’m hoping if I spend enough time with Xiao-Ye at this age I can corrupt her into being the next black sheep to carry on my legacy,” he laughs as Jin Ye darts up and runs to another patch of the flower beds to point excitedly at a peony in full bloom.
“Shushu!!” she cries and he smiles as he gets smoothly to his feet, the cut flowers she’s already chosen clutched carefully in his hand in a loose bouquet.
“A beautiful choice yet again, Xiao-Ye, your mother will love it,” he praises as he bends to snip the stem with a small knife from his sleeve and add the flower to his handful. When he straightens again and turns around he’s nonplussed to find Jin Ling and his friends still standing there - normally Jin Ling storms off at the first opportunity when Mo Xuanyu has irritated him. “Oh. Yes?” he prompts, confused.
“You said you wanted to meet them so come over here and meet them!” Jin Ling snaps and Mo Xuanyu slowly raises a darkened eyebrow at him. He doesn’t often pull rank on Jin Ling, not seriously, but honestly...after a week and a half of being mostly shepherded to the private areas of Jinlintai to make things easier on his nephew and his friends, and then having his afternoon with his niece interrupted by their presence anyway, he’s not really in the mood to get ordered around, he doesn’t care if Jin Ling is embarrassed. And for all that they were once classmates before Mo Xuanyu decided not to seriously pursue cultivation, he is still older, both in years and generation, technically speaking. And they have company - important company.
Jin Ling at least has the good sense to look abashed and, perhaps, a touch guilty. It’s for that reason alone that Mo Xuanyu decides not to point out that he had wanted to meet Jin Ling’s friends along with the rest of the family when the boys had arrived over a week ago, not as an afterthought, as an accident, caught by surprise in the gardens when their visit is already well underway. Like he’s not as important as the rest of the family. Like he doesn’t deserve the same respect, eccentric or not.
“Come on Xiao-Ye, let’s go tell LingLing how horrible his manners are,” Mo Xuanyu ‘whispers’ plenty loudly enough to be heard by their audience as he holds his free hand out for the toddler to take. He carefully helps her pick her way through the flowers to the path and then he measures his steps to make sure he doesn’t outpace her before he comes to a stop in front of the quartet to offer a perfectly executed curtsy in response to the three visitors’ bows. He watches Jin Ling’s face go red but he thankfully has enough tact not to comment.
The thing is, Jin Ling isn’t ever really there on the extremely rare occasions when Mo Xuanyu pulls out his real manners. The manners and etiquette he had shyly asked Qin Su to teach him once she had come to Jinlintai, just as he was beginning to accept that he wasn’t going to be like the rest of the boys his age. He knows how to bow properly, his sword in his hands. He knows how to walk through the world like he owns it, like the rest of the Jin men do. But he also knows how to own it the way his sisters do - how to be soft and proper but with steel in his eyes. How to be a walking contradiction for the world to rail against every single day of his life, and do it with his head held high. His decision to act like he doesn’t know it most days is just that - a decision, a choice. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t actually know how.
(He frequently teases Jin Ling about his youth in comparison to his own age, and while it is usually a joke, he still hopes that one day Jin Ling will be able to look back on it through the lens of experience and realize that, for Mo Xuanyu, the gaps in their experiences and the way he’s been forced to grow up ahead of his time where Jin Ling has not have been blindingly obvious since the first day they met.)
“Mo-gongzi,” Jin Ling’s friends chorus and he offers them all a wide grin.
“So respectful! Let me take guesses with your names, I’m sure I can get them right,” he says with a playful hum, ignoring Jin Ling’s impatient shuffling. “Ouyang-gongzi,” he starts with Ouyang Zizhen, offering him a polite curtsy that the boy is apparently still too embarrassed to acknowledge. “Wen-gongzi,” to Wen Sizhui with another curtsy (Wen Sizhui offers him the sweetest smile Mo Xuanyu has ever seen on someone who’s not either of his sisters and his heart melts a little - if anyone can soften Jin Ling’s too-sharp edges, it’s going to be that boy). “Lan-gongzi,” he finishes with one more curtsy for Lan Jingyi, who’s just staring at him, wide-eyed with blatant curiosity even as he returns the curtsy with a quick sketch of a bow.
Well. Curiosity is better than the outright disdain he tends to get from the older generations.
He glances down when there’s a tug on the skirts of his robes and he laughs in delight to see Jin Ye pouting up at him imperiously. He instantly turns to her and offers her the deepest curtsy he can, bowing so low she can reach up to tap her fingers at the ornaments tinkling softly in his hair.
“And of course, this humble one could never forget! The beloved Xiao-Ye, the little treasure of Lanling,” he says with a dramatic flourish that makes her giggle as he straightens up again, her hand finding his instantly when he reaches down to her.
“Mo-gongzi, we were just on our way to spar with Jin-er-gongzi, Jin-guniang, and Jin-er-guniang,” Wen Sizhui supplies when he faces them again and Mo Xuanyu is unsurprised to find his voice is as soft as his smile. “Would you like to join us?”
“Oh that’s very sweet of you to ask,” Mo Xuanyu laughs as Jin Ling makes a sound like a dying animal. “Hush, LingLing, your friends are being nice to your poor Yu-shushu, let me enjoy it! You never invite me to watch your sparring.”
“Because you show up anyway if you want to!”
“That’s neither here nor there - it’s nice to be asked sometimes,” he sniffs. “But as it happens I have to take Jin Ye into the nursery for her nap and then I have letters I’d like to write, so I’ll have to join you some other time. I’m interested to see your different clan styles though, so I will definitely watch one day during your stay here.”
“Do you have training with a sword too?” Lan Jingyi suddenly pipes up in a rush and Mo Xuanyu tips his head a bit to the side as he looks at him with a playful smirk on his rouged lips.
“I’ve had lots of different types of training,” he teases. “Today I’m practicing my flower arranging for the Little Treasure. Tomorrow maybe I’ll remember my old sword forms. Ask me again at the afternoon meal and I may agree to participate. If you’ll excuse me.”
He offers another curtsy and then he turns to head back inside, pausing only to bend and lift Jin Ye onto his hip with careful hands so he can walk as quickly as he wants to. He hears conversation break out behind him before he’s even inside, but he doesn’t listen. Let them talk.
He delivers Jin Ye to the servants in the nursery with a kiss to her forehead and an extracted promise that she’ll be good and then he goes to find Jiang Yanli, flowers in hand.
“Ah, Li-jie, here you are,” he says happily when he finds her a few minutes later on the path that leads to the main part of the tower from the family residences.
“A-Yu,” she greets warmly, instantly reaching out for his arm, which he loops through hers easily, both of them folding their hands demurely over their sternums. “How is your day?”
“Wonderful. Xiao-Ye has been showing me that her taste in flowers is still unmatched,” he smiles as he holds the flowers out to Jiang Yanli with a flourish for her to take with her free hand. “She wants you to put them on your writing desk.”
“Oh I’ll be happy to! They’re beautiful, thank you.”
They walk in silence for a few long moments before he gathers up the courage to say, “While I was in the gardens I met A-Ling and his friends,” though it still comes out with a hint of hesitation. Jiang Yanli’s arm goes stiff in his for a moment before she relaxes with what seems like an effort.
“Were they kind?”
“The young masters are very polite, it was a pleasure to finally meet them.”
“Was A-Ling?”
Mo Xuanyu clears his throat and doesn’t answer, but that’s answer enough. He hears Jiang Yanli take a deep breath in through her nose and let it out slowly.
“I don’t understand this new problem,” she admits as they turn a corner to walk slowly along the perimeter of a shady, currently unused courtyard, empty but for someone sweeping the stone clean on the other side. “You’ve been a part of the children’s lives since you were a child yourself, he’s never had this issue before.”
“I embarrass him.”
“A-Ling is so much like A-Cheng - his pride is easily turned against him and that means plenty of things embarrass him. That’s no excuse for him to treat you like this.”
“Li-jie…” he starts, his voice quiet, timid in a way it almost never is anymore. “Do you think the children respect me? I mean..truly respect me as their uncle, the way they respect Yao-ge, or Su-jie as their aunt?”
Jiang Yanli stops in her tracks to turn to him and Mo Xuanyu unlinks his arm from hers to face her as well, to meet her scrutinizing gaze with a vulnerable one of his own.
“Why do you ask?”
“I know I bother them,” he starts, his chest feeling fluttery and hollow in a way that doesn’t bode well. “I know..none of the rest of them are quite ready to have to make their peace with the way I’m thought of in the public eye just yet but..but A-Fei and A-Yan and A-Yu are nearly ready; A-Fei has already gone to Cloud Recesses for his lectures, and the twins will be ready for the next lecture season if they want to go. They’ll all make friends from other sects just like A-Ling has, they’ll bring them here as guests eventually. What if none of the children want their friends to know I’m related to them? What if they’re all ashamed of me like A-Ling is?”
“Oh A-Yu...” Jiang Yanli murmurs sympathetically and somehow that’s what pushes the feeling in his chest outward, the shiver of it turning into a trembling in his hands and stinging in his eyes that he furiously blinks away.
“The children may love me, Li-jie, but sometimes...I don’t think they like me very much. I’m just..I’m so different.”
“Shhh it’s okay, come here,” she soothes, pulling him in for a hug and he collapses gratefully into her arms with trembling and quiet sniffles that he’s trying to stifle.
When he had first come to Jinlintai - actually, when he had first met Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli back in Mo village - he had immediately been drawn to his sister-in-law. She’s steady and warm like his mother had been while she had been alive. She had loved him with her whole heart from the moment he was brought to Jinlintai, even when he got comfortable enough to be himself and the other children became wary of him and his wild nature, the way he grinned too widely, laughed too loudly, raised chaos everywhere he could simply for the hell of it. He’s calmed down in recent years somewhat, become marginally more acceptable, but Jiang Yanli had loved him from the instant they had met and he had been a young boy afraid of disappointing his mother, and she had been the young Madam of a Great Sect and a pregnant mother of four, doing her best to fulfill her roles with grace and poise.
He had always yearned for a big sister, and he had found everything he had ever dreamt of in Jiang Yanli’s soothing presence. Of all of his family, she - along with Qin Su, later - has never once made him feel like he was too much to handle, too strange to love, or to like. He’s older now, more assured in himself (usually), but he knows that he wouldn’t be at this point if not for her constant, gentle nature, the way she had nurtured his behaviors, his choices, to help lead him to who he is now.
Her support as a sister has been an invaluable part of his life, and he’s reminded of it for the millionth time now as she hugs him tightly and rubs his back in slow, soothing circles like she had when he had been a boy and he’d just lost his mother to a swift fever that had swept through their village.
“Hush, A-Yu, shh. The children love you,” she murmurs quietly. “I love you, as does A-Su, and A-Xuan, and A-Yao, and all of our extended family too. Our family wouldn’t be complete without you in it, A-Yu. You belong with us, we wouldn’t have you be anywhere or anyone else.”
Mo Xuanyu huddles closer and squeezes his eyes shut as tears drip from his lashes - he’s careful not to let them drip onto Jiang Yanli’s clothes, stained black as the tears are with the kohl painted around his eyes and dusted in his lashes. Her robes are a pale gold-trimmed lavender today, his tears would only ruin them.
“The children -”
“Know their Yu-shushu adores them,” Jiang Yanli cuts him off to soothe. “Children go through phases where they’re beginning to learn and think for themselves, and sometimes they lose their way while they test their new boundaries. I can talk to them if you’d like me to, make sure they know that the casual way you show your love for them isn’t an invitation to disrespect you.”
Mo Xuanyu considers telling her not to worry about it, but..he can’t escape the mental image of being pushed to the background as the children grow, shunted aside because he doesn’t fit their idea of what they want their family to look like to people they want to impress. Even little Xiao-Ye will one day be old enough to possibly push him away like that no matter how much they adore each other now, and the thought breaks his heart. His family is all he has in the world - he doesn’t want to lose them because they’re ashamed to know him.
“Please,” he says instead, then. The children always listen to Jiang Yanli - as they should, she’s a wonderful mother. If she tells them to respect him, they will. If she tells them to be gentle with him for a while as he finds his feet again after this newest blow to his confidence, they will. He can trust her.
“Alright,” she hums, as easily as if they had just agreed that clouds are white. “I’ll talk to them, and I’ll begin with A-Ling. Do you want to help me decide how he should make this up to you?”
“No! No, that’s okay,” he protests as he finally straightens up to wipe at his cheeks. Jiang Yanli tuts and pulls a handkerchief from her sleeve to dab gently under his eyes, cleaning the smears of his makeup. “I...I trust you and A-Xuan to take care of it.”
“Okay. Come on, let’s go get you cleaned up, hm? You’ve smudged your kohl.”
He nods and follows along at her side as they turn back to the family pavilions and his nerves settle further as he realizes they’re heading for Qin Su’s rooms. She opens the door just as they reach the steps and Mo Xuanyu offers her a watery smile.
“Su-jie,” he wheedles with a pout to see her smile. “Mean boys have ruined my makeup again.”
“Oh dear,” she says gently, playing along - unfortunately his makeup getting ruined was a common occurrence when he began wearing it, and he had frequently come to Qin Su both for comfort and for her help in reapplying. “Come inside, come on. We’ll make you even more beautiful than before.”
#the untamed fanfic#Lan Jingyi#Mo Xuanyu#Lan Jingyi/Mo Xuanyu#Nonbinary Mo Xuanyu#Junior Quartet#Jiang Yanli#Qin Su#this will be multichaptered but I don't know how many#for as long as I've been working on it in bits and pieces it's not actually a cohesive whole with a plot or anything#but I've had this beginning written for like. Over a year now I think#So I figured I could at least share this much lol#Also this is 100% an exercise to find out how much gender fuckery and cis4trans love I can fit into one fic#don't get me wrong I love a good t4t but idk this dynamic compels me
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