since he doesn’t have a digestive system and can’t really eat, I think Michael would take it upon himself to try every gum in existence. Like the gum chewing was bad before he got scooped, but afterwards it reached a whole new level. He misses the familiarity and humanity of eating, so he chews gum instead. He has tried the weirdest, most vile sounding gum anyone could think of. He’s tried every flavor of every brand. Henry, Jeremy, and his other friends don’t mind because despite how much gum mike buys every month still costs less than groceries.

Uncertainties

Monday -  I'm finishing up at the printer when Scott comes in. I turn around and take him in: the small smile, the bright face, his long-sleeved black shirt. We greet each other and I go into my cubicle. I go out into the warehouse twice to bring paper in for the printer. Scott has his cell in his hands. Out of the 4 times I pass, he doesn't look at me even once. I come out of my cubicle to grab papers and Scott is just coming down his hall, about to go back into his office. I look at him and he's looking at me, and he casually turns his head away. He can be frustrating sometimes being so hot and cold. During my lunch, when I close the door of the individual bathroom, I see Scott is in his chair. When I come out, he's gone. I make my way down the hall slowly and peer into his office. He's not in there. I start walking back to my cubicle and hear someone coming up the hall from the bathroom. It's Scott. We say "hey." I go into my cubicle and grab my water and go back to Scott's office. He's now walking up the other hall, so I turn around and go to the jug by me to fill up my bottle. When I go back to his office, he's rummaging in his bottom drawer. He has a huge medicine bottle, though not much is left in it. His doctor told him to take the rest of it and see how his stomach feels. He's standing so close to me and I look at his face. It's lovely. I look away quickly, as if I'm guilty from simply admiring this man. He says he'll be right back, he needs to clean the little medicine cup. When he comes back in, I ask him about his weekend. He says it was good, just worked on his garage. I can tell from the energy he's giving off that there was more to his weekend, but he can't mention it because it involves his wife. I start doing neck rolls, my long pony tail moving across my face as I do so. When I am done, Scott is looking at me and asks what I'm doing. I say I was doing neck rolls cuz they feel good. Erin, who used to work in our building but moved to the other building, comes in looking for Chris, who has his own office now. Scott gets super animated, then when she leaves, he resumes his normal demeanor. I feel sad. He gets more excited talking to other people than he does with me. Scott asks me about my weekend and I say how I slept till 3 Saturday. Scott doesn't think he's ever slept that late in his life. I'm just always so worn down from constantly running, plus I never get a decent amount of sleep during the week. I tell him I did start decorating though, and I talk about that. He asks me how work was yesterday, which he never asks. I tell him it was terrible but that my GM bought my meal for me, which was nice. I say how its going to get worse soon, once the weather gets cold and people have nothing better to do than go to brunch. "Yeah, Brunch with Santa is like the worst thing to ever happen to me." Scott laughs. Obviously, I'm being dramatic, but Brunch with Santa is the absolute fucking worst brunch. Scott asks why it's so bad, so I explain the large amount of people, the phone calls, the grumpy people who don't want to sit near any kids (obviously not possible), and the people who let their kids run loose and mess with table settings. Scott asks me if I had the new WaWa coffee and I say I have, but we're both talking about 2 different coffees, 2 new flavors. We continue talking about coffee flavors and I mention this mushroom coffee I always hear yogis talking about. Scott says that sounds disgusting and I say I am skeptical to listen to them now since oat milk I kept hearing about was not as good as I thought it would be. I say I want to try the macadamia milk next and that I think it will be good, but Scott thinks it may be similar to almond milk probably. He tells me he ordered a $27 pizza yesterday and I’m flabbergasted. It was just a Margarita pizza and this place by him doesn’t have it on their menu, but they made it for him anyway. He says it was good, but maybe not $27 worth good, but still good. I can’t imagine spending that much on one meal. A song is playing and Scott says it’s similar to what was playing on Friday and that it isn’t Latino. I say how this song is different, definitely reggae. Scott really wants to prove a point here how he doesn’t listen to Latino music, but of course I’m only messing with him. He says he can’t help what comes on the station, but he’s persistent that the song on Friday was not Latino. I respond with a smile, “It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone.” He smiles and says, “Shut up.” He tells me he has to get his ultrasound done on his stomach Thursday and how he has to go to Philly, which he isn’t looking forward to. He would rather drive though, whereas I’d rather take the train. I talk about my dad living over there and how it’s always annoying finding parking, though Scott will be in the Center City area where there’s parking garages.

When Scott goes on lunch, I swear he walks past my cubicle and then backtracks. Most days I don’t want anything, so that’s probably why he almost didn’t stop to ask. I don’t want anything today.

My mind drifts to thinking about Scott and his wife, and how they do look like a couple. They go together. And I hate creating these images in my mind, because I know it doesn’t mean anything, yet I feel like it does. It hurts that I still never got any sort of answer from Scott, and I don’t understand why he couldn’t give me one. A little later, I'm in the bathroom thinking about Scott while I'm at the sink, wondering if how he acts different around me is a good or bad thing. I come out of the bathroom and who is coming down the hall? Scott. We see each other and little smiles cross both our faces. I take him in: his straight, swaggering walk and how he holds himself; dressed in black; his clear, open face. I can feel myself light up. We say hey. As he gets closer and walks past me I want to grab him and pull him close. 

At the end of the day, I ask how his day has been and he says it’s been okay. It’s Monday. I say how I feel like Mondays for others are what Sundays are for me, so when I come in Monday mornings, I don’t dread it. He has an empty water bottle draped across his safety glasses and the o-ring on his desk. I say it looks like some sort of weird modern art installation. Scott smiles and says that’s what it is, his art. I ask him where he got his blueberry gum from and he says WaWa has it right now 2 for $2. He just got an email from some guy named Dave Gay. Scott says it must suck to have that last name, how the guy was probably picked on as a kid. “Mm yeah, your favorite word,” I say. “I do say that a lot,” Scott responds. He does say, “That’s gay” an awful lot, and I’m so torn between wanting to correct him and just letting it be. One of my ex-boyfriends used to say that until I got him out of the habit of saying it after I explained why it’s wrong. Scott then says, “Mr. Gay” and I do laugh at that, because it sounds funny when it’s said like that, and I mean technically, it is the guy’s name. I say how one of the freight vendors I get invoices for is called Catskill, and it always reminds me of him (Scott’s last name is somewhat similar). It’s time to go. I go and grab my things and go back to Scott’s office since he’s leaving on time. He’s down the end of the hall at the mini fridge grabbing one of his canned lattes. He sees me waiting for him as he heads back down the hall, and a small smile crosses his face. We walk out together.

Tuesday -  Scott comes in late, so I end up greeting him at the coffee machine. He comes around the corner and I can tell he was expecting me there. The coffee machine is pretty loud. We lock eyes and greet each other. When I'm done eating lunch, I go down the hall to clean out my bowl. When I turn around, I see that Scott isn't in his office for the second day in a row. I walk down the hall and then when I round the corner I almost bump into him. We smile at each other. I go about my normal routine and then go into his office. I ask how his day has been and he says he's been busy. He asks me how my day has been. I say I'm really tired and that I was falling asleep at my desk earlier. Scott is tired today too. I was up late and plus was volunteering last night. I need about 7-8 hours sleep to feel well-rested. I tell Scott I went to Target last night too but they were out of the costumes for cats. Scott smiles and asks if they're popular and I say they must be. I did get a few good decorations though. I also tell him they have a cool selection of milks and that this time I got flaxseed milk, which Scott has never heard of. He doesn't ever even need to try them since I'm sure I'll keep him updated on which milks are best lol. While Scott is standing there working, I position the o-ring and shoot my gum wrapper through it. It bounces off of Scott's chair and lands somewhere to Scott's left. Scott completely missed my awesome shot. He says he's hungry and that he's going out for lunch. I ask him if he can get me a Starbucks drink. A random thought strikes me out of nowhere: does Scott ever question if his wife was the right person to marry? I ignore these intruding thoughts and keep talking to Scott. We somehow get talking on Canada and I say how I'd trust a Canadian more than an American. Scott doesn't follow my reasoning on this, and we also talk about moose. When my lunch is over, I write down on a sticky note what I want and give Scott money. I go back to my desk and hear him laugh loudly with Steve a minute later. I wish I could bring that kind of happiness to Scott.... Again I wonder why he acts differently with others than he does with me. Scott comes into my cubicle to give me my drink and change. He hopes he got me the right thing, which he did. He wasn't sure if I wanted the protein double shot so he got the regular, which is what I had written down. I thank him and tell him he did good. I go in the end of the day and say how I had so much caffeine today that I feel like I could never sleep again. Scott laughs and asks if I liked the drink. I tell him I did, that it was different at first but I decided I liked it. It was kind of creamy too. I say how I'll probably still go to bed early anyway, which ideally is what I should be doing. I notice Steve has a bigger part on his desk than the one I usually play with on Scott’s desk, though they look to be the same kind of part. I learn that they are called an o-ring (hence my calling it by it’s proper name a few paragraphs up). I know the part name from orders, but I don't ever get to see parts in person except if Scott happens to have one on his desk, which is rare aside from the o-ring he keeps there for me. Scott laughs and says he's sorry that he got me a smaller one instead of a large one. I was just messing with him. At one point, Scott and I definitely check each other out at the same time and exchange flirty smiles. His smile makes me melt. I tell Scott i was listening to a podcast earlier about having a fall bucket list and Scott asks me what that is. "Its a bucket list, but for the fall," I reply, purposely being cheeky. Scott smiles and says, "I know that, but what do you put on it?" I start naming examples of fall-themed activities. We get talking about energy drinks, which I never liked too much except for when I would party a lot, my friends and I would start our nights off doing Jägerbombs. Scott used to do these too, though we both haven't done them in forever. He starts clicking and I comment about how he wasn't going to tell me it was time to go. He smiles and says he wouldn't just leave me here, and I say something along the lines of doubting that. We walk out together.

Wednesday -   When I turn my head over my shoulder to greet Scott, I don't turn back around right away. I beam at him and we lock eyes, and he gives me a little smile. I can tell that I look pretty enthusiastic, but I can't help myself. I made coffee in a paper cup today, so I eventually have to heat it back up. When I walk down the hall, I'm fixing my one pocket, and when I look back up, I can tell Scott had just turned away from looking at me. Right as I pass, I saw him start to turn again, but it was too late. I'm going out for lunch, so I message Scott if he wants anything, but he says he's good. Before I go on lunch, however, I need to ask Scott something about an order he took. I go to the doorway and walk in confidently. He watches me walk in with a small smile on his face. I'm standing so close to him. His mouth, his smile, his teeth...all of it is so nice. When I turn around, I somehow knock the o-ring off his desk. I turn around and Scott is grinning at me. I pick it up and put it back on his desk. I finish eating around 12:30, later than usual since I ran out for lunch. Chris is in Scott's office talking to him. I get really annoyed because I know Chris knows I go in there and he has all fucking day to talk to Scott, yet he goes in during the only time of the day I can. After he left Scott completely alone for the week Steve was on vacation, he officially got himself onto my Shit List. So he annoys me in general now, let alone when he’s in Scott’s office during my lunch. Finally, at 12:35, he leaves and I go in. Scott says he's busy as usual. I show him a video I took of ducks this morning playing in a puddle. I love the ducks. Scott goes over to the bin next to the door and asks where the orders went. Of course, I don't know. He calls Chris, who said he took them, and Scott tells him to throw out an order he needs to cancel. I bought one of the Starbucks Doubleshots, whihc is what Scott got me yesterday, and I ask Scott what guaranine is since it’s on the front. Scott says cocaine and I say that makes sense as to why I had so much energy yesterday after drinking one. Scott asks if I really like it, and I say it's not bad and that I was gonna try the protein ones but this can was bigger. "You like big things?". I look at Scott with a big, closed-mouth smile. I don't know how to take this question, nor how to answer it. "Uhhh...I guess." Scott grins and I teeth-smile as I bite my lip. Then I go back to that big closed-mouth smile as Scott looks back and forth from me to the computer several times. Finally he says, "I asked because you mentioned the bigger o-ring yesterday too." Mhmm, sure, Scott, I’m sure that’s exactly why you asked. He gets up and puts an order in the bin and I look at his nice butt. He has an apple on his desk and I ask of he eats one every day, cuz it's not keeping the doctor away. He smiles and says it's not. We start talking about apples and of course we disagree on which ones are the best. When it's time to leave and I pick up my drink, there's a ton of water condensation on his desk. I start wiping it with my sleeve when I stand up and Scott grins up at me, shaking his head. I grin back and once satisfied with my cleaning skills, I walk out. During Scott's lunch, tar from the roof gets blown onto cars. It seems like it just blew onto cars on the main side of the building, but I want to go out back to check my car. I hear the back door open and get up, but it's Pete. He says my car looked okay from a distance, but I still want to check just in case. Right when I reach the back door, I hear it click unlock from the outside. As soon as Scott sees me, he smiles and I smile back. I ask if he got tar on his car and he said no and asks what happened. I tell him apparently they're working on the roof and tar blew onto people's cars on the side and I want to check mine just in case. Scott was at WaWa and just got back not that long ago, but all the cars out back seem okay. I walk away toward my car and I know Scott is watching me because the door doesn't close right away, and it's a door that slams. When I get to my car a few moments later, I hear the door finally slam shut. 

I go into Scott's office the end of the day, and he's finishing up some last minute work. I need to go to Wal-Mart but never really go, so I don't know if they'll be busy this time of day. Scott tells me to check online for the live thing Google does. Scott gets a phone call but tells Linda to tell the guy that he left for the day since he still has 7 emails to answer. Scott tells me he has someone coming for his heater tomorrow morning, and depending on what time they're done, he may just take the day off since he also has his doctor appointment. It's time to go and as I walk away I say, "Bye, Scott. See ya tomorrow." When I get to the doorway I turn around and add, grinning, "Well, maybe not." And Scott says, "Yeah, if not I'll see you Friday." He grins back at me. I have a feeling Scott will not be coming in tomorrow, but it's okay. I'm getting used to this. I know I'll get to see him Friday. I wonder if there are feelings on Scott’s end, but I have no definitive way of knowing. Could Scott acting different around me be his way of trying to keep himself emotionally distant? Am I just reading too much into things? 

Thursday -  Some time in the 10 o'clock hour, I start wishing I could see Scott. Right after, I get an order from a warehouse guy. Scott took the order. I take it as a sign, and then I know for sure he won't be in today. I have therapy tonight and I mention how I'm not sure why Scott acts different with me. My therapist said that with others, he wears his social face, even if he tends to not like people. (I had mentioned how Scott will act super friendly with people, even if he doesn't really like them, though I think that's just a few people). She also said he can probably relax and be himself with me. He doesn't feel the need to act a certain way. She does have a good point, but when I hear him laugh so loud with Chris and Steve, I have my doubts. I just wish Scott could have answered me and told me what's going on on his end. I wonder if he'll ever care enough to let me know. 

Friday -  Scott comes in late, but it works out. When I go to make my coffee, the jug needs to be changed. I start pouring what's left in the old jug into the top of the coffee machine when I hear the back door open, I know it's Scott. He comes around the corner while I'm still pouring. I look under my arm, smile, and say, "Hey, Scott. Good morning." He smiles back at me and greets me in return. I'm stamping papers at the printer when Scott comes out of his office to use the men's room. Pete is at the coffee machine, so I don't want to be too obvious. I turn to look at Scott, who isn't looking at me. He does turn to me when I look at him though. I second-guess Scott's enthusiasm toward others. It's hard for me to picture it as him just being social. He always sounds so happy. During my lunch, I ask how his doctor appointment went. He said as he expected: they didn't find anything. I ask him what now, and he says that they're going to do a test on his throat to test his acid levels. He talks about his ultrasound and I picture his shirt up, belly showing. Ugh, lucky doctor. He did find out that he has a tiny hernia though. Scott had to go to Philly, which he doesn't like doing. He forgot his parking pass so he had to pay $22 for parking. I tell him that it was good he wasn't here yesterday because it was terrible. I don't think Steve had a good day either. Scott said he offered to come in for a few hours but Steve said he was fine. Idk though, cuz Steve was still here when I left, and I heard him freak out a few times, though not too bad. I tell Scott that I had 22 orders to do. On a normal day, I average around 8 or less. I say how I woke up in the morning and just knew it was a stretchy pants kind of day so that I could be comfy. Scott asks me if my jeans are stretchy and I say sort of, I have some wiggle room. He smiles. I say how apparently warehouse guys have been double-picking orders, so I had to check behind each order to make sure they weren't already picked. And Damien shipped 3 orders using the wrong freight carrier. I say, "I shouldn't have to go behind grown ass men to make sure they're doing their job right." I'm just annoyed because I work hard and I still struggle financially, and some of those guys can do overtime while doing minimal work during regular hours. I tell Scott I did get a $1 raise though, which I found out yesterday, but I take it that means I'm not getting hired before the end of this year. Still, it's something. I can't leave the restaurant though. $2 and I could've made it work, but $1 unfortunately isn't enough. We somehow get talking on $2 million dollars and I say how I doubt I'll see that in my lifetime. Scott replies, "You never know. You're still young." It irks me when my youth is mentioned by Scott. He says I should play the lottery, it's only $1. When I say I'm not sure, he asks me what I'm gonna do with $1. "That's coffee money," I reply. Scott smiles and shakes his head. I ask Scott about his weekend plans, and he just says he's working on the garage again. At one point, Scott looks down at me and has a little smile on his face. When I look at him, he asks, "What you doing?". "You always ask me that," I laugh. "I'm just sitting here, not causing any trouble." Scott says he was going to go to Nashville for an Eagles game with friends, but obviously he's here instead. I ask why he didn't go and if it was too expensive. He mumbles some sort of non-committal answer. I get the feeling that his little family survives mostly off of what Scott makes. I could be wrong, but that’s the impression that I get. He says the day is dragging, but I think it's going fast. I say how its finally October on Monday, the best month. Scott probably thinks I'm just saying that because of my birthday, but that's not true. I really do love October. Scott likes September the best because of the weather, but he said this year it wasn't good because of all the rain. During our whole conversation, I wonder if Scott actually wants to talk to me. I see how he is with others and then how he is with me, and I just don't know. Scott had told me during his lunch that he needs to go out, but I'm hoping he still stops by and asks me. I hadn't thought about it till I got back to my desk, and I do have just enough for a drink. I wasn't sure if I did or not. I start working and am hopeful Scott will ask. He doesn't. I hear him pass by. Do I get up and stop him? I don't know. Maybe he doesn't want me around. I don't get up. I have to go into Scott's office to ask Steve about an order. Scott is facing his doorway, but he's absorbed in his cellphone. He doesn't look up at me at all. Not long after, I'm printing and I see the printer is out of paper. I bend over and when I close the trays and turn around, I see Scott had just gone into his office. I know he had to see me bending over. When I'm done putting another order together, I go out into the warehouse. Scott is back on his cell phone and doesn't look up. I have to go ask Steve about a 2nd order he did and just as I am at the window, Angelo comes in through the warehouse. He hands me invoices and asks if I have anything for him. I glance over at Scott, who looked up from his cellphone this time and was looking at me. I backtrack to my desk. When I'm done with Angelo, I go back to talk to Steve. Scott doesn't look at me this time. I'm way too busy right now to care as much as I usually would. While I'm busy with orders, Steve messages me and asks if I can come in when I have a minute. 20 minutes later, I'm done with everything, but Chris is in their office talking to them. After he leaves, I wait a few minutes till I go in. Scott FINALLY looks at me when I go in this time. Steve is asking me about the first order I came in for. While he starts doing stuff on the computer, I angle myself so that I can smile a little at Scott. He has a little smile on his face too and I try to lock eyes with him through his tinted reading glasses. Other than that, he doesn’t look at me for the rest of the time I'm in there except for when I'm about to leave. I turn around and face him, then walk out. I look at him again through Steve's window and his hand goes out, palm up, as if asking "what?" or something along those lines. I am at the printer not long after, and I hear the bathroom door open. It's Scott. I can't read his face though, unsurprisingly. I consider asking Scott if he's okay with me still coming in to talk to him, but when I go in his office at the end of the day, it's clear I don't have to. We engage in playful banter for the last 7 minutes of the day. I ask Scott how the rest of his day has been and he says it hasn't been bad. I say shit hit the fan after I came back from lunch. Scott says he wasn't busy and I laugh and say how all of the issues were only with Steve's orders. He says Steve was upset, that he didn't know what to do about the one order. Steve had stuff on there that Pete said we can't have on the customs invoice, but Steve doesn't really know what to do about it because the info needs to be on there. Scott asks if Pete is a stickler and always does stuff by the book. I say yeah, he's been doing this for 30 years, but also that he kinda has to be that way cuz if any one little thing is off, a shipment could be stopped. Scott says him and Steve can just do stuff however and Chris doesn't care. "Oh, so you guys are little anarchists then?" Scott grins and says yeah. I kind of teeter back and forth. With trade compliance, I have to do things exact, but with invoice stuff I can say "fuck it." I say this to Scott, then say how I pass stuff to Angelo and then stuff just never gets done. We laugh. Scott says how its cold in here today. He specifically says it feels like it’s 32°. I say how its not bad today and I took my sweater off a few times. "You're only saying that to disagree with me," he says, smiling. "No I'm not! I don't disagree  just to disagree with you. We just happen to not agree a lot." We both laugh. On the little things, Scott and I rarely agree, but on bigger things we seem to have the same mindset. I say how I'm debating on getting coffee after work but I don’t know if I want to go to WaWa or not, though they have the cheapest coffee. I say how I was up till about 2 am. Scott asks me why and I say because I was reading and that my book right now is really good. I don’t think he was expecting this answer, but he seems intrigued. He asks me what I’m reading and I say it’s a mystery novel, which is a genre I don’t really read but that the book is pretty good, that I read about 200 pages in 4 days. Scott replies, “Wow.” I say how I went to WaWa yesterday after work and it was stupid busy. Scott says they’re always busy, which is true, and that he went there today to the one off of exit 18. I live off of exit 19, so I say how I think it’s the one by me, but Scott says it isn’t. He’s never been to my place (obviously I would have posted about it 100 times if he had been) but I’ve mentioned where I live enough times for him to know. We go back and forth about if it’s the WaWa I’m thinking of, and I think Scott may be right on this one. I say how I’ve only gone to WaWa a few times for my lunch and I go to the one by our work that you don’t need to go on the highway to get to. Scott says he thinks that one’s a longer drive but that it’s more scenic. My mind draws a blank. “Scenic?” “Yeah, scenic.” “Oh! Like with a view,” I laugh. Scott replies, “And you were a teacher....” “What does that have to do with anything?” I laugh. It’s time to go. We walk out together and after I say my good bye to Scott, I feel a pang in my chest. I feel like there is so much inside of me that I want to say to him, but I’m not entirely sure what those words are. It could also be that I just want to talk to him more. I calculated it and on average, I talk to Scott around 3 hours total a week. It seems like such a small, flimsy number, though every second of it means so much to me. I decide to make it a goal of mine to maybe try flirting with him again, or maybe in some way try letting him know (in a non-weird way) how he’s important to me. I don’t know. I just have so many feelings building up inside that it feels like I may burst if I don’t let some of it out soon. I’d rather I let it ooze out a little rather than having it all overflow, and risk me doing something impulsive or stupid. That may include me asking Scott some sort of question, when I repeatedly told myself I was not going to confront Scott ever again, no matter what. I just feel like I’m being filled with so many uncertainties, so many more questions, and the only person who can clear things up for me once and for all seems to still be as tight-lipped as he’s always been.

26.

Have you ever been in weather below 0 Fahrenheit (-17 Celsius)? ...yes. Literally every year. There’s usually a week or two in January when it gets down to -50 to -75 F. 

Have you ever been caught outdoors away from shelter during a thunderstorm? Maybe when I was a teenager? I’ve definitely been caught in the rain, not sure about a thunderstorm tho.

What’s your favorite macaron flavor? I’ve actually never had a macaron! But I don’t like meringue so I don’t think I’d enjoy them.

How often do you have friends over to your house? Literally never.

Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally? YES. The assistant manager at the last job I had was insane. She tried to tell me that I wasn’t allowed to leave town on the weekends in case they needed me. LOL girl bye.

How many times have you stayed at a hotel in the past year, and where? 0, covid.

Have you ever done a flip on a trampoline? Noooo.

What about a flip off of a diving board? I’ve never even been on a diving board.

Are you embarrassed by your school yearbook photos?  I believe in the 10th or 11th grade I hated them but I was on the yearbook committee so I finessed some new ones to put in hehehe.

Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? I believe I learned at school.

Currently how many pictures are on your cellphone? 9,008.

Do you think dimples are cute? Oh hell yeah.

Would you rather chew fruity or minty gum? Minty.

The last time you went to the mall, who did you go with? Beebs!

What’s something you used to collect when you were younger? Rocks and lip balm.

Have you watched a movie today? Yes! We went to see Dracula.

Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into? We went to an indoor garage sale a couple weeks ago.

Do you love soft pretzels? They’re alright. They smell better than they taste in my opinion.

Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? Does my dog count? Bc she’s just a drama queen and I wouldn’t expect anything less from her.

Are you more likely to like someone before you really know them, or do you feel you like them more after you know a lot about them? True love is when you like them a ton before you actually really know them and then like them even more after.

Do you buy people cards on special occasions, or do you prefer to make your own? I honestly think cards are a huge waste of money so if I do give one, I made it. But I have a Circuit and I’m pretty creatively inclined so it’s pretty easy.

When was the last time you were being hypocritical? It sounds pompous but I honestly think I'm too self aware to by hypocritical.

Where on your body was the last cramp you had? Why did you have this cramp? My hip, because I was sitting weird.

What is the weirdest name you’ve ever heard? Someone I know named their kid Emanda. Unsure if its pronounced ee-manda or just regular Amanda. Haven’t wanted to ask. Another named their kid Albrea. I just call her Algebra. And another named their kid Annekke, pronounced Anika. She will forever be a-neek-ee to me.

Do you get embarrassed when people hear you sing/compliment you on your singing ability? Bold of you to assume I ever let anybody sing.

Are you good at comforting people when they’re upset? I’m the big sister to like a bajillion children. Yes I’m good at it.

Do you have any exercises you do everyday? Newp.

Do you own one of those singing fish? Do you think they are silly or funny? Hahaha I don’t but I literally just saw a Billy Bass at a thrift store yesterday. They were funny then and they’re funny nostalgic now.

Has anyone ever accused you of being bipolar or any other mental disorder? Do you really have any mental disorders? I have a pretty severe anxiety disorder but no one’s accused me of having it because like...it’s pretty obvious? 

Did you buy the last thing you bought with your own money? If not, whose money did you buy it with? Haha yes! We bought movie tickets, a drink, and peanut butter m&ms.

Do you like to put your feet up on the dashboards of cars? Do you parents yell at you if you do that in cars? Our car is too short for that but yeah, my parents always yelled at me for it when I was young.

Which Beatle is your favorite, or do you love them all equally? I wouldn’t say I loved any of them but John Lennon is absolute hot garbage.

Do you enjoy classic rock? If so, who are some of your favorite classic rock artists? Uh...not really?

Did you ever own a Tamagotchi? Yes! They were all the rage in the 6th grade.

Are you more of a dog or cat person?/ Dog, definitely.

Have you ever failed math? I very, VERY narrowly passed the last math course I needed to graduate and I did the math and because of the mark I got on my final, I should have failed by 3% but I got 1% over what I needed to pass. Pretty sure my math teacher just didn’t want to deal with me taking the course over so he passed me BUT my math could have been wrong, haha.

Skittles! What's your favorite color? Lordt. I haven’t purchased skittles in ages. I think I remember red being my favorite?

Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? Yeah, actually.

What would you want your last words to be if you could choose them? I would just want my husband to know how much I love him and that I’ll be waiting for him in whatever form of afterlife there is.

Can you sleep with the light on? If I'm dead tired.

What’s the most bizarre horror movie you’ve ever seen? I mean...Dracula is supposed to be a horror movie. The only thing horrific about it was the acting.

What band can’t you stand listening to? I honestly can’t think of one right now.

Would you ever take a lie detector test for your significant other? I mean, if I had to? But we trust each other 100% and I’m brutally honest about everything so he would never require that from me.

What is your favorite Mystery/Crime/FBI related show? Murder, Mystery, & Makeup Mondayssss! Sha na sha sha na sha sha na sha sha sha na shaaaaaaaa!

Would you ever have a bird as a pet? Absolutely not.

How's your relationship between you and your grandparents? I love my mom’s parents to bits. My grandma is one of my absolute favorite people in the world and my grandpa is very quiet but he has a lot of really sweet moments. My dad’s parents are awful fuckin people. My grandfather died like 5 years ago and I really had to try hard to feign sympathy about it to him. My grandmother is still kicking it but we haven’t spoken in over a decade for good reason. She also changed their joint Facebook account to just her Facebook account less than a week after he died loooool. She hated him as much as I did I think. And then my bio dad’s dad is dead but he was also a piece of shit but his mom is a sweetie. We facetime every so often and she holds the phone a grand total of 6 inches away from her face the entire time and tells me the same stories over and over. Bu

Ever had a forbidden love or lover? Newp.

Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No, thank god.

Do you know someone who’s been cremated? My grandma’s dog.

What is your current problem? My eyes are blurry because I’m tired.

Do you like canopy beds? Tbh, canopy beds are the epitome of glamor in my eyes.

What is your favorite animated movie? Onward.

Would you rather live in a small town or a big city? I like medium cities. You won’t get mugged walking down the street, traffic doesn’t absolutely suck, and you can get clear across town in 15 minutes.

If you could summon any animal to come to your rescue, what animal would it be and why? Uh? Why am I in trouble? Why can’t I call a human? What’s happening here?

Have you ever watched The Golden Girls? I tried watching a couple episodes but it didn’t pique my interest.

Did you ever like the Ninja Turtles? Noooo. Beebs loves them though so he tries to make me love them and it’s just not happenin, buddy.

Last alcoholic drink you had? No idea tbh.

What are you known for? For being talented and having big hair.

Has anyone ever threatened you? Oh yeah. There was this one guy who was constantly sending me really graphic messages about how he wanted to put a gun to my head and kill me or he hoped I would get XYZ and die. I tried to block him but he would immediately make 3 more accounts to send me the same shit.

Have you ever gone frog hunting? Noooo.

Do you ever suffer from dry skin? Yessss. My body is the Sahara.

Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal? No, I sleep with a husband.

What’s the weather like right this moment? It’s rainy!

Do you bite on straws, lollipop handles, or ice cream sticks? Nah.

In what type of area was your first sexual encounter? Beeb’s bedroom. His stepfather interrupted and made him come outside to talk to him for some reason and then very weirdly pointed out his half boner? V. uncomfortable all around.

Where is your mother’s side of the family descended from? Somewhere where white people come from idk.

What do you occupy your time with on flights? iPad games usually.

Do you dog-ear pages in books? No, I’m not a heathen.

What’s a made up word of yours? We call pickles ‘pickies’ and hamburgers ‘borgers’ or ‘borgs’ because we’re gross.

Do you use Q-Tips? In my ears? No. To clean out tight spaces of things I've thrifted? Yes.

Ever gone out with somebody you didn’t like? Noooo.

What hero or heroine do you most relate to in history, fiction, or song? ....No.

What makes you dizzy? Getting up too fast usually.

Are your parents liberal or conservative? Bleh, conservative. If you have liberal parents, consider yourself blessed.

Do you like your teeth? Did you have braces? I got away with having just an appliance/Invisaligns but I still don’t like my teeth. They’re perfectly straight and white enough but I have body dysmorphia and for some reason I think they’re atrocious and I hate them??? I can’t explain it.

Are you happy with your height? I’m 5′11 and I wish I was shorter sometimes. Hugging my husband would be easier.