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#Also I literally only drew this all of yesterday so im like...... so glad I finished in time LMAOOOO
mirsfa · 5 years
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dangerously (iv)
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Genre: Uhm. Kinda everything, from angst through fluff to smut Word count: 17k (i am so sorry) Pairing: Prince!Jaehyun x Mafia!Reader Warning: Cursing, underage smoking, drinking, use of drugs, even more cursing, smut in upcoming chapters. There’s a lot and I might have left some out oops. Summary: You were polar opposites. He was royalty, you were a criminal. You hated him, he hated you. This mission was the last thing any of you wanted, but you had to make it work. But could you?
a/n: heii people. first of all i apologize that it took me this much time to finish this bunch of shit ahahahah. there is no excuse, only that im graduating and i am slowly but surely dying. figuratively. that was a shitty joke im sorry. anyways, thank you all who were patient enough to wait for this, i have added a ‘read more’ label and hopefully it will work for everyone!! 
“It was a scratch, no need to panic, Z.”
“Yeah but what if I died?”
Doyoung sighed, yet again, at least the thirteenth time during the past hour – the time you had been awake. He had been there the second you opened your chapped mouth and croaked for water. His eyes followed all your movements, cautiously, as if something could really go wrong by drinking water. Your fingers were shaky, yes, but the second he reached towards you to help holding the cup, you hissed at him, and he knew better than to stick to his decision. The room you were in was a lot like a hospital’s – clean, white sheets with even brighter walls and equipment. The first few moments you opened your eyes it blinded you almost, giving you a sting in your head and a wish that you should have stayed passed out.
“Die from a scratch?” he placed his head in his palm as he stared at the neon lines of your heartrate.
“I mean,” you murmured, fidgeting with the string attached under the skin of the back of your hand, “I did pass out from it.”
“I think you over-reacted,” he squinted at you then, “like you do most of the time.”
You would have thrown your hands up in frustration if it wasn’t for the things in your arms, quite literally tying you to the machines.
“It was mental, really,” he said then, voice lower and somewhat softer, “after you passed out and the other gang ran away it was just – crazy. A mess. The special forces arrived and when they saw that there was no one from the opposite team…they went full commando.”
You furrowed your eyebrows as you struggled to put the pieces together. You shouldn’t have asked him to tell you what happened afterwards.
“They thought we set the whole thing up.”
He nodded, and his Adams apple bobbed, casting his glance away from your searching eyes and raked his bony fingers through his hair. The charcoal locks fell into his eyes in a soft mess.  
“They wouldn’t let us go, Z,” he said, his voice barely a whisper but still filled with hatred and a sort of calm, hidden fury. “You were…you were bleeding so much, and they kept on stalling and stalling and I- “he took a deep breath as his voice wavered.  You reached out for his hand and took it into your own, squeezing softly. He glanced up then, his eyes distant, hazy with the recent memories.
“Prince Jaemin refused to leave your side. Not even for one second,” he chuckled, and you let out an amused huff, “Yukhei almost blew his ass up but I think he was somewhat thankful.”  
You averted your gaze and let out a smile.
“Prince Mark and Renjun were the ones who talked some sense into those meatheads – honestly their captain was such a jerk,” Doyoung continued, irritation shadowing his tone. You just shrugged and poked the infusion in your wrist, letting the string attached to it wiggle.
“At least I’m alive,” you proclaimed, letting out something that sounded like a bittersweet chuckle. He just shook his head and exhaled gently.
“Taeyong was out of his mind when the special forces kept us there. I’ve never seen him this disoriented before.”
“Except when Jisung walked in on him when he – “
“No! Please don’t remind me.”
You grinned as Doyoung’s face twisted into a mix of terror and disgust. It only disappeared when a low, gentle knock resonated in the clean, white room. Both him and you glanced over at the figure entering slowly and quietly, and since your vision was still somewhat blurry, you squinted, trying to put a name to the face.
“Prince Jaemin,” Doyoung said, and emerging from the chair he was lounging in before, he bowed. For a second, panic took over the young prince’s features as he waved his hands in dismissal.
“No, please, I should be the one bowing.”
Glancing over to your sitting form on the bed, something like a small, careful smile made its way on his sharply shaped lips.
“Miss Z,” he said, with a voice sweet as sugar, with eyes glinting gently, “How are you feeling?”
You adjusted yourself and let the corner of your lips curve upwards.
“Better, Your Highness,” you inclined your head in thanks, but he just grinned, and lowered himself down next to you on the bed.
“I came in yesterday, but you weren’t awake. I wanted to thank you for what you did.”
“Your Highness it was-“
“Call me Jaemin.”
Doyoung smiled and so did you.
“Jaemin, it was my job. That’s what we were hired for.”
Jaemin just shook his head, as if he was trying to dismiss your words, as if they were no more than pure bullshit. Which they were. You knew it and Doyoung did too. You would have done it anyways – protecting younger ones, kids.
“My brothers and I are all thankful for you, but I’m sure you already know that,” the prince glanced at Doyoung then, who let out a grimace.
“Yeah, about that,” he drawled out, “Z, the King and Queen wanted to do some sort of fancy-ass ball in appreciation of us.”
You drew your eyebrows together at the sheer idiocy of the idea.
“We legit just stalled the idiots and beat them. And I got stabbed. Nothing great about it, it happens almost every time?”
“No, you were scratched. And yeah, I know it’s nothing special, but it seems to be something ceremonious for the Royal Family,” Doyoung then glanced at Jaemin perching on the edge of the bed, “No offense, Your Highness.”
Jaemin just waved, the graceful movement of the royal “I-don’t-give-a-fuck”.
“You’re right. We are overdramatic.”
“Great, one more thing in common with Z.”
Reaching out in Doyoung’s direction you grabbed a fistful of his hair and he let out a high-pitched whine. A crooked smile left your lips.
 It took you nine days, twelve hours and thirty-seven minutes to get out of the blindingly plain infirmary room. You were pretty sure you were held hostage for no apparent reason. Royals would do that kind of shit, wouldn’t they? You walked the ivory white hallways alone. The empty beauty of the walls and the handcrafted statues of previous rulers left an empty feeling in your heart. Glamorous it was, but where was the life? Your steps echoed in a painful sting and you thought of thorns made of diamond. Then his eyes flashed into your brain for splitting moment.
Hurrying your steps, you chased the thought away and continued to walk down through the glass-corridor.
What a continuous and tiering war was it, chasing someone’s gaze away from one’s brain. Feeling a familiar sort of burning sting in your brain, you thought of the younger princes, in an attempt to chase the pair of eyes from your thought. Poison, it was the worst kind of poison. During those five days you spent in the white room recovering, you had received regular visits from the young, and occasionally older princes as well as your own family. You weren’t sure if it was a crooked sort of display for gratitude, or they didn’t have anything better to do, but nonetheless, in some hidden part of your heart you were glad to see the youngers. Surprisingly, Doyoung did too.
His eyes lit up every time one of the kids came up, the same way it did when he was talking with Jeno and Jisung. Speaking of the two devils, they have also bonded with the royals in their ages. Often, they left your room together, with half-hearted apologies and excuses, but you didn’t mind. Having so many people at the same time in your room tended to be a little overwhelming at times. Out of the five days, you spent only one sleeping alone.
There was only one person, however, who did not visit you.
“Jaehyun is busy nowadays,” Johnny explained with something like guilt in his voice. You wanted to crack up.
“No-one is obligated to visit me,” you mused, tilting your head. A careful, unsure feeling swept through his face.
“Yet here we are,” murmured Yuta from a chair next to you, his voice dripping with sickeningly sweet honey. You wanted to vomit and laugh at the same time.  
Johnny decided to ignore the cold-livered tone of his brother and turned to you.
“We have a room for training. It’s filled with equipment, gym and a stash of weapons.”
You lifted your eyebrow.
“Well, for that cabinet you need someone to be there with you. Prince or trainer,” he added quickly. You didn’t talk about Jaehyun again.
A couple of hours after that, Jeno and Doyoung came barging into your room. Their arms were flailing around, and incomprehensible strings of words flew out of their mouths. You understood nothing, and the volume of their blabbering did not help either. So, you waited until they calmed down, their voices lowering to a buzz.
“The training room is a fucking heaven – “
“Language, Jeno.”
 The rest is history, and you walked the glorious, ivory covered corridor on your own. The clicking sound of your steps resonated and so did your thoughts – you had to turn left here, right? Smoothing your hair out of your face, you glanced around the corner. Empty, not even a soul, a servant or a guard rushing by you.
Hesitantly, you stepped towards the only door that was not made of finely carved oak, but instead cold, cruel metal. You could feel its iciness seeping through your skin and the hair rose on the nape of your neck. The promise of a new thing, you thought, should be exciting. Why am I so goddamn nervous then?
Twirling the key slipped into your palm by Johnny an hour ago, you stepped closer to the metal door. Your palms were sweating, and your breath was heavy, but you pushed the key into the keyhole, and before you could change your mind, turned it. The door made no sound as it opened. You checked your back again, then stepping through the threshold you pushed the piece of metal shut.
What you saw, amazed you to the point where you just let your jaw hang.
The room was huge – bigger than the whole of the bar back at home – and its walls filled, almost overflowed with all range of weapons. The steel shone with a molten golden colour in the early afternoon – in your eyes it was the soft tell-tale of all that youth, all those lives that had to be paid in battles.
Kicking your shoes off, you stepped onto the sea of tatamis on the floor, the familiarity of the dry but soft material under your feet washing over you. You weren’t even sure where to start – hell, you weren’t even sure if it was some kind of loyalty test, if there were hidden cameras somewhere else, watching your every move. Slowly, you turned around, your eyes running over every possible surface, memorizing the possible escaping routes –
Stop.
Stop stop stop stop.
You had had enough of paranoid thoughts, you were the bad guys, you were not supposed to feel the urge to run away and hide.
You were the ones who made others’ blood run cold, turn the other way.
Forcing a block onto your distracting thoughts, you lifted three throwing knives and five shuriken.
The weapons’ weights were light – you had to remind yourself there was something in your hand, so you wouldn’t forget about the familiarity of the icy feeling. Throwing them onto the ground you searched for a Straw Man, a figure you could aim at.
You found it on the other side of the room, about fifty steps away from where you were standing. Perfect. Lining up your body, you spun the first knife in your hand.
Then you threw.
You threw and threw and threw, up until there was nothing in your hand, and when you retrieved them you continued where you left off. You continued until that specific sore feeling returned to your body, with the familiar veil of exhaustion raping over your senses, and like you have always done; you did not listen. You spilled all the bitterness into your movements, you aimed at head, heart, liver and stomach, you aimed and retrieved and started again.
And when you thought you had enough – not caring how long it has already been, an hour? Two? Three? - you picked down three other weapons.
Swords and long-knives and axes, anything that got near your hands.
You battled, moved with the Straw Man until your head was nothing but an empty balloon, free of any thought, any pain, any memory.
Your throat burned, your muscles screamed, and you smiled. Through pain and tears, you smiled and stroke again and again.
The sun already set when someone spoke behind you.
“Who are you fighting against?”
You spun around, your mind foggy, mind hyper-alert, arms ready to throw the knife in your hand.
Then all the mist cleared when you looked into the familiar pair of eyes. The sweet colours of warm chocolate stared into your own, with nothing but the purest kind of curiosity.
Breathing heavily, you dropped the knife in your hand and plopped onto the light green tatami.
“Many people,” you answered, and inspected his movements from underneath your eyelashes as he walked closer. His cheeks were tainted a slight pink and his hair was ruffled and his clothes couldn’t look more casual - yet he still managed to look composed and put together. His hands were deep in his jeans’ pockets as he lowered himself down onto a chair on the edge of the tatami-sea. A safe distance from you and the weapons scattered in an organized mess, something like a satanic pentagram.  
“Many people?” he repeated, his velvet voice tinted with amusement. Huffing, you lowered your head and stared into your toes.
“There are many people who had wronged me and my family.”
Lifting one of his – most likely plucked – eyebrows, he chuckled.
“Are they still alive?”
Something close to laughter bubbled up in your throat but you fought it back down, keeping your expression icy. You just looked up at him from under your eyelashes and let out a smallest of crooked smiles.
“I barely think so.”
He grinned again and inspected the steel around you.
“I see you have found the training room,” his voice was low. Soft and careful, testing the seas. Relaxing yourself, you lowered onto the tatami, huffing in exhaustion. A little break won’t hurt. He watched you carefully, inspecting your movements and when your eyes met, you saw the faint colour paint his cheeks.
“Yeah,” trying to sound casual, you shrugged and leaned back on your hands. “I was given the key by – “
“I know,” he interrupted and pursing your lips, you fell silent. “I have questions,” he said then, his voice strong but his eyes somewhat vacant – unsure. Squirming on your butt, you reached for the closest weapon, and started cleaning it with the soft material of your shirt. Something to keep you distracted – something to keep you on earth.
“I’m listening.”
Clearing his throat, he leaned back on his chair.
“First off…I know we started on shaky waters, and I think that is mainly because I was an…arse.”
“An arse?”
Uncomfortably, he glanced sideways. Then nodded. Puzzled, you lifted an eyebrow.
“I’ve genuinely, honestly, never heard someone use that word before.”
He squinted his eyes, eyeing your face suspiciously.
“You seriously don’t know what ‘arse’ means?” his voice was dumbfounded, amused. You wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, you were certain he was messing with you one way or another and you felt the need to grab that shiny shuriken by your ankle.
“No. Am I missing out on something?”
“It means…you know. Someone’s backside. But lower.”
“An ass, Your Majesty means?”
“…yeah.”
A loud, hoarse laugh erupted from your throat and you didn’t even try containing it. Tears pricked at your eyes, and you felt your lungs burning in need of oxygen. The sound echoed in the spacey, empty room and you were sure you saw him flinch before looking around uncomfortably.
“So, you’re saying you were an asshole,” your voice was strained as you wiped at your cheeks.
“Yes, but can I finish?”
“Go on, Your Majesty.”
Taking a breath, he inspected his sneakers.
“I – shouldn’t have drawn conclusions so easily and fast about you and your…” he hesitated, but you interrupted anyways.
“Family. They are my family.”
He looked at you. Really looked at you, with eyes wide and curious, glowing with something you couldn’t quite grab. You felt yourself tense under his inspecting gaze, heat rushing to your cheeks. What the fuck is going on? You were uncomfortable, uneasy, your fingers were itching with the need to grab something and fidget with it. It wasn’t the kind of gaze Taeyong would give you and Yukhei every time you came back from Gods know where, with clothes half burned, half torn off, with eyes glinting with everything but regret. It was a whole other level than when you perched on a rooftop with the icy graze of the wind through the relatively thick material of your shirt and jacket. You didn’t feel it on your skin, no. You felt it in your bones, your flesh, your soul.
Keep calm, Y/n. Keep calm. It’s your period coming. Your hormones are fucking with you.
You soothed your senses with the sweetness of the lie.
“Yes, family. I wanted to thank you. For saving my little brother.”
You were about to wave him off, the uneasy in your stomach tightening, but he held his hand up.
“No, I mean it. I know it’s your job and I know you’re most likely gonna say it was not that big of a deal, but I want to clarify the fact that you have been wounded while fighting,” he took a deep breath to continue but you interrupted anyways, quickly.
“I was gonna say that I accept white chocolate as a prize.”
You saw his breath getting caught in his throat, his ears flushing a sweet, bright shade of pink.
“Ah…ehm…white chocolate?”
You shrugged, “Yeah. Those are the best shit on the global market these days.”
Nodding, he cleared his throat again and inspecting the ground he asked you, “Why do you hate us so much?”
Your stomach coiled again, not sure whether it was the mention of the white chocolate that drove him to dive into deeper, personal matters, or the question had been on his mind for days. He certainly didn’t beat around the bush for long. You decided on the latter.
“I’m not sure I know what you mean, Majesty.”
“You know exactly what I mean. The rest of the boys, your family, had warmed up to us, pretty much. Except maybe the other assassin, Doyoung. And the short one who always looks like he’s either about to slit someone’s throat or spill the darkest of your secrets – “
“Oh, Ten always knows the latest of the tea. Believe me, you don’t want to be there when he decides to spill it. It’s a catastrophe,” you tilted your head and sighed, a sort of endearing smile playing around on your lips.
“That’s not what I meant. Look, it is obvious that there is something that holds you back. I just…I don’t even know. I just wanted to know why.”
He grew quiet, his voice becoming unsure when you showed no reaction. He was swimming amongst dangerous tides, far deeper and darker than he could imagine. Your head was spinning, shards of pieces of memories cutting into your skull, you didn’t want to remember. No. He wasn’t ready for the truth, and neither were you. Neither were any one the Diamond Snake, and it was going to remain that way. So, brushing aside your honest answer, you replied with another.
“It isn’t entire the best feeling in the world, Your Majesty, when you are the only female working in this place, surrounded by men at all times. I hope you understand why I prefer to remain closed off.”
He didn’t believe you.
It was obvious, when sheer doubt took over his features. You didn’t question it though, didn’t push it.
Huffing out air, he nodded, strands of caramel brown hair falling into his eyes as he did so.
“Of course, I understand. I will try and find a solution, if you would like me too.” He stood up then, and before you could utter a word of objection, he bowed his head. His gaze avoided yours, and suddenly you felt like you have made the worst decision, not telling him the truth. So, you brushed your hand over the steel blade of a knife by your knees and pressed your mouth together.  
“Goodnight, Miss Z,” he murmured, and you snapped your head towards him when you heard the smooth, velvet voice.
You didn’t answer and the next sound you heard was the slam of the metal door. The tears came after that.
 Two weeks, every day, from morning until noon. That’s the amount of time you have spent in the training room, with other members visiting, sparring, getting beaten and then storming out of through the metal door, bruises already blooming on their skin.
You weren’t in the best mood.
You weren’t sure what was going on inside you, neither was your environment. After four days, Jeno came to you in the training room to let you know about the findings of the blood sample taken from under your nails and knives, and when you showed no signs of care when he did so, neither him or the rest of them bother to try and get you back on that one. You were more than thankful for that.
Yukhei, however, did mention that you were having the glorious week of your period – he did get his ass kicked a minute or so later – but it has been almost a month since you have gotten back from the ominous mission with the younger princes.
You saw more of them, and perhaps it warmed your heart. A little.
“Why did you become an assassin?” asked Jaemin one of the many afternoon’s with sweat running down along your brow. Gulping heavily, you squat down in front of a weapon stack, your back to him.
“There was no other offer of profession at the local employment office.”
He snorted behind you and after a couple of seconds you heard the low thumps of his steps on the tatami. He lowered himself next to you.
“Liar,” he smiled and watched you expectantly.
“Obviously. People like me don’t say the truth.”
Shaking his head, he laid down, and fixated his gaze on the wooden ceiling of the room. When he sensed you did nothing other than shifting your attention back onto sharpening a random knife you found, he patted the tatami next to himself.
“Come lie down with me. You have been training for four whole hours now.”
“No thanks.”
“I didn’t wait for an answer. It’s an order,” he flashed his teeth in a grin, and you whipped your head back at him. The young prince and you became closer to each other for sure, during the past month, to the extent where he begged you to treat him as a common boy, instead of “throwing his status in his face every time you talked.” He was younger than you for sure, but it never stopped him from biting back equally snarky comments at you every time you shot him off with your own.
Dropping the knife away from you, you slowly leaned back, just to stare at the ceiling.
“I swear to god, you need to start dating with pretty lil’ princesses so you can do shit like this under the stars,” you croaked.
He shrugged and quirked the edge of his lips.
“I sure would be a ladies’ men, wouldn’t I?”
You let out a low chuckle and nodded, your elbows poking into his ribs. Jaemin was for sure one of a kind, the type to try no matter what hard to make a person smile. Pushing the long sleeves of your training shirt – which you have received plenty of the past few weeks and you’re not entire sure whether you have been happier in your life – and relaxing your facial features, you closed your eyes.
“It wasn’t entirely a choice, Jaemin. Sometimes, I mean, hah, most of the time, people have not a lot of chance to do things. Sometimes they are forced to live with things that were not intentional. Situations, lives they were…pressured into.”
You inhaled, applying force on your eyelids, as if you could block your sight from memories that came out every time you closed your eyes and purred about your past.
Jaemin was already staring at you by the time you glanced sideways in his direction, with even eyebrows furrowed together, gaze hazy with thoughts. He was about to open his mouth, most likely to ask something, however, before he could utter a word, the loud bang of the metal door from behind you crashed all hopes he had to speak.
You didn’t even need to look back to know who just entered the room.
“Holy shit this place is DOPE!”
You would think you have already gotten used to Yukhei’s booming voice. You didn’t. And if you drew consequences from Jaemin’s jump and saucer-wide eyes, he did too, have a long way to go.
Jeno was walking behind Yukhei, with something like the shadow of a smile on his lips. When his gaze met yours, his eyes turned into half-moons as he chuckled to himself.
“What’s up guys?” with a low huff, you hoisted yourself up from the ground. Yukhei looked around the training room with an admiring glint in his eyes.
“Boss asked us to find you. Apparently, he has something to tell you. He’s with princes.”
You lifted an eyebrow as you shot a questioning look at Jaemin.
“Which ones?” you asked.
Yukhei shrugged as he continued to inspect the weapons stacked up all around the walls. “The ones that make you look like you have a spike shoved up in your ass.”
Jaemin let out a low, dramatic gasp and Jeno dropped his head into his palm.
“Ah,” was all you said as you picked up the leather jacket you dropped onto the floor after entering, and grabbing the pair of sneakers in your hands, you strode towards the door.
“Better place it back in then,” you threw back behind your shoulder before the metal door shut closed.
 You didn’t really bother knocking on Taeyong’s door before kicking it open barefooted. You were quite a sucker for entrances and to be honest, and it kind of ran in the family.
“I heard you needed my spiked-up ass!” you hollered into the room before throwing your shoes in the corner and hanging your jacket. Ambling into the suite’s living room, you found Taeyong, Doyoung and Kun with the three oldest princes, Johnny, Yuta and Jaehyun.
Jaehyun’s and your eyes met for a single second, but you diverted your gaze just as fast.
You hated how you memorized the way he looked at that moment, with his soft his hair looking perfect even though you were completely sure he had not brushed it and you really hated that you caught the way his ears were tinted a slight shade of pink.
Suddenly you regretted that the words “spiked-up ass” ever left your mouth.
Taeyong covered his mouth before he let out a tiny cough - you were more than sure of the fact that he had a shit-eating grin on his face – and Doyoung let out an obvious eyeroll.
“Well now that you are here,” began Kun, “we can get down to it.”
“Get to what?” you quipped, and massaging your left wrist, you took a seat on one of the cream coloured sofas by the floor-to-ceiling glass window.
Your gaze raked over the three princes. Johnny sat on a dark rose-coloured plush sofa, with his two brothers perching on the arms of it. You didn’t look them directly in the eyes, no. You didn’t dare, not after you have seen the flash of bare emotion in Prince Jaehyun’s eyes.
Your mind kept repeating the minutes, hours he had spent watching you in the training room during those two weeks. You didn’t talk, didn’t make eye-contact. Just like then when you entered the room, you avoided his gaze, the sheer curiosity shimmering in those orbs.
He didn’t bother you.
Didn’t say a word, didn’t make a noise, and in some distant part of your mind, you were certain he hardly breathed. Some days, you saw the edge of a black notebook poking out of his pocket. You decided not to pay any special attention to it. Or to him, for that.
“Doyoung have told you a couple of weeks ago that there will be a dinner for us, in thanks to dealing with the…problems that came up with the young princes.” You nodded as you listened to Kun’s soft voice. He stood behind Taeyong, looking at you and the three princes with eyes glinting in an odd way.
Frowning, you straightened your back.
“But that’s not it, is it?” your voice was cautious, you felt like there was an elephant in the room, and everyone knew about it except for you. However, when you glanced at Doyoung you saw a puzzled look taking over his features, unlike Taeyong, who silently inspected the tip of his shoes, slightly faded crimson hair falling onto his forehead.
Doyoung’s and your eyes met. Kun cleared his throat before he continued.
“And additionally, we have found a trail to who might be behind the attacks.”
You nodded, remembering Jeno coming into the training room the tell you before you chased him away.
“We were able to trace it back to Mr. Kim.”
A beat of silence.
“There is like one million Mr. Kims you dipshit,” Doyoung drawled and Taeyong and you choked on your laughter. Kun shot a look at the raven-haired assassin who then quickly rearranged his facial expressions and instead glared on the flower - tapestry.
Johnny cleared his throat and leaned forward in his chair.
“Kim Seokjin is a high-ranked official and advisor, working for the Crown,” he said matter-of-factly, keeping his gaze on you and the others. “He has been through more battles than me and my brothers combined, and he used to be believed one of the most loyal objects for my father and mother.”
“Seems like he’s gone rogue,” Taeyong marvelled and Jaehyun nodded.
“We have tried to look into his activities for the past couple of months, but we have found nothing,” Jaehyun continued and glanced at Taeyong, carefully avoiding your gaze. “We need your hacker’s help.”
Taeyong inclined his head and reached for the crumpled cigarette pack lying on the crystal-clear glass coffee-table.
“Z,” he spoke up, his voice gravelled and snapping your head back, you caught the pack he threw at you. Your eyes met for a couple of seconds and that was when you saw it; that glint that appeared almost every time when something was about to come up. Something that you might not take well.
The cigarette pack he threw at you was a warning, then.
“Is there something else?” Doyoung asked, obviously bored out of his mind. He tended to do that a lot when something was not revolving around him.
“Yes, there is,” Johnny admitted before starting off. He didn’t look at you, he kept on staring at the carpet in front of himself. Unlikely of an eldest royal who is used to speak in front of and to people on a regular basis. “He will most likely be present for the dinner organized for the Diamond Snake. Which can mean two things in this case; first of all, he was one of the few officials who had strongly disagreed concerning the…hiring of your gang. If he decides to come to the gathering – “
“Then he wants to eliminate us,” you ventured, cutting him off. Yuta’s head snapped towards you in warning, but ignoring him, you leaned forward with eyes fixated on lighting the cigarette dangling from your mouth.
“That’s right. We know a couple of things already, for example the fact that he finds beautiful woman, a good drink and gold irresistible,” explained Johnny, and Doyoung eyed the prince’s features cautiously. Taeyong’s gaze remained on your face, which you carefully kept stone cold neutral.
Everyone went quiet and you inhaled the smoke, relished in the soft sting, the familiar smell. You felt another pair of eyes on you, molten caramel, the smoothing rays of the afternoon sun. You avoided that too.
Your brain caught up on the prince’s thinking, and it did not take long for you to figure out what they wanted to ask from you, why Taeyong was so goddamn nervous and why he lit one cigarette after another. Doyoung was still in the dark.
“Your Majesties,” Taeyong croaked then, exhaling a large amount of smoke which he kept inside for way too long. “I will talk about you request with Z alone.” he gave the princes a half-hearted incline of his head.
Kun nodded slowly.
“It is best if we talk about it amongst ourselves,” he agreed and Doyoung huffed.
“Talk about what? Can someone just tell me what’s going on?!”
You rose before drawling, “they want to whore me out to Mr. Kim,” with eyes as dead as your voice. You didn’t see the realization and disgust flash in Doyoung’s eyes for you rose from your seat, your gaze dead set on the oldest prince.
Taeyong then sprung up and with a single movement, stood in your way. Without your heels on you he was taller than usual, and he did not seem inclined to let you go. Kun moved from behind the sofa and with a tiny but respectful bow of the head ushered the princes out.
You didn’t see the look in Jaehyun’s eyes before the door slam shut behind his back.
And then you let it all out.
“What the fuck did you think, Tae?! Huh?!” your voice rose dangerously, and with a hand, pushed Taeyong in the chest who staggered a single step back. He lifted his arms in defence, but you paid no attention as you threw the half-burned cigarette into the ashtray.
“Z, listen to me – “
“Fuck about listening to anyone in this goddamned shithole, we were hired to gather information, to figure out who is behind all this shit, kill that bastard and then move the fuck along. I’m not going to play their fucking games, Tae!” you snarled but you felt the suffocating veil of desperation and fear creep up on your senses.
“Z, they don’t want to – “
You choked out a sob and grabbing the front of his black t-shirt you pulled him close.
“We talked about this. I told you I will never do anything like that again, I told you I told you I told you,” your voice hitched, lowered from a vicious hiss down into a weak whisper. Kun slid out of the room and closed the door behind him quietly. Taeyong put a hand on the back of your head, smoothing your hair, your back. He didn’t say anything, he held you and you let the first tear fall. Torn pieces of memories zipped through your mind and you tightened your grip on his shirt, held onto it like a lifeline.
“They will not whore you out, Z. They wanted to, but I told them they shouldn’t expect you to do that.” He murmured as his hand trailed through your locks.
“Would the Royals go that far?” Doyoung piped up as he laid down on the couch, placing his feet on the arm rest.
“Take your shoes off, Doyoung,” Taeyong deadpanned and the assassin threw his shoes off into the corner of the room with a dramatic sigh. You straightened up and wiped your glistening cheeks with the back of your shaking hand.
“Sorry for reacting like that,” you grumbled and Taeyong rustled your head with a sigh.
“I didn’t expect anything else.”
“Are you saying I’m a crybaby?” you murmured and Taeyong let out a low laugh.
“You should see your face every time someone says they want to use the fact that you’re a woman.”
Fuming, you threw yourself into the chair in which Johnny was sitting before. Taeyong pushed Doyoung’s legs away and sat down, posture slightly stiff. Wiping your nose into the sleeves of your shirt you pulled your knees close to your chest.
“So, what did the princes want me to do if not using me?” you asked, placing your chin on your arms.
“They do want to use you in a certain way, but,” he held his finger up before you could utter a word. You closed your mouth. “They wouldn’t want you to do anything you don’t want to. You see, Seokjin has no idea how you look like. We didn’t show ourselves in front of generals or officials, only the princes and the servants who were there. That means – “
“I will pretend someone I’m not,” you caught up and Taeyong nodded. “What is the information we need to gather from him?”
“We need to make sure that Seokjin is in relation with that gang who attacked us or the Black Spade.”
“And how the hell am I gonna do that? I’m not a spy and I have no clue how to act like a fucking lady!” you threw your arms up in the air and Doyoung sighed.
“We been knew.”
Your head snapped towards him and your hand reached for the nearest object you could throw at him, the diamond ashtray, but Taeyong snatched it from your hand before you could hurl it at Doyoung’s head.
“The princes offered to help you.”
“All of them?”
“How the fuck am I supposed to know? Probably. They will be in the Grand Ballroom tomorrow at ten in the evening. You will meet them there.” Taeyong said then and you let out an exasperated sigh. Guess, you were gonna have to learn the waltz.
 It took Winwin 17 whole minutes to convince not to go in your training tunic, but instead something more comfortable and socially (and royally) acceptable.
“Listen, Z, you need to get something like a shirt, or I don’t know, not that black fucking bodysuit… No, no absolutely fucking not, Z, put the stilettos back.”
You groaned as you threw the pair of shoes at Winwin, who caught them and chucked them on your bed.
“I don’t want to go around pretending I’m a cute little lady who does pretty bows, and smiles like a brainless idiot,” you protested, placing your hands on your hips. You were still in underwear and you were ready to throw the hacker out of your room, but he insisted on not making a fool out of you. Pity. Would have been a nice warm-up.
“Z, you’re just gonna learn the basic behaviour when you’re around high-class people, come on…No oh dear god put that knife back, girl you’re going to walk with fucking books on your head, Jesus everloving Christ,” Winwin raked through his blond hair and with a quick movement put it in a manbun.
“Yeah but we always need to be ready. Just a small one?” you held up a pocket-knife, and widening your eyes you put on your best puppy-face.
Winwin sighed deeply and buried his face in his hands.
‘I’m gonna call Jisung – “
“He’s playing Fortnite,” you quipped, and he raised his eyebrows.
“At nine in the morning? He woke up this early?”
“Nah. He just didn’t go to sleep.”
“Taeyong’s gonna gut him,” he pondered, and you shrugged. Giving in, you reached for the only clean white shirt you had along with a soft, flary pair of pants. You were about to reach for the high-heels but Winwin grabbed your arm in an attempt to stop you.
“Come on, I’m so fucking short,” you whined, shaking your arm out of his.
“You’re gonna be tripping and falling, do you really want to make a fool out of yourself like that?” he retorted, and you gave in after a second of thinking. Damn him and his rational thinking. Huffing, you pulled on a pair of sneakers, making as much fuss and noise while doing so as possible. You knew that the calm, forever-collected hacker won’t give a single shit about it, you can also jump out the window to get to the meeting faster – he would just shrug and text about it to the groupchat, to let the others know.
His story is a quirky one, filled with broken hearts, neon-screens and cold slices of pizzas.
It was Doyoung who recruited him. They met in jail, both of them waiting for their friends to bail him out – only Winwin had no one he could really rely on. It was you who went to grab Doyoung, back when you were 18.
Both the receptionist and the guard were corrupted by the already slowly building empire of the Diamond Snake. It took no convincing and a lot of money and Doyoung was out. But he didn’t wasn’t to leave.
“Wait,” he said, and you glared at him from behind your sunglasses, its size reminding him of a fly’s eyes. There was a faint bruise on the corner of your lips, and he knew you were frowning behind the darkened glasses. “There is someone,” with a quick movement he inclined his head in the direction of his cell, “I think we should get him out as well. I talked with him. He will be of use, I promise.”
“You know what Tae thinks about picking people up.” you murmured. Shooting a hesitant look towards the guard who started to get impatient, you licked your lips quick and then whispered, “alright I’ll get him out. But you go into the car now. Yukhei is already there, behind the building.”
Without another look, you shoved him towards the door before fixing your glasses and reaching for another stack of money.
A blackeye and Winwin’s dumbfounded expression richer, both of you blasted out of the jail and hurried towards the getaway car. Doyoung snorted as he examined your blackeye and murmured, “well seems like money wasn’t enough.”
For some unknown reason, the guard is fired the next day.
 “You are still that troublemaker you were when I first met you,” Winwin’s deep voice mutters before sinking down on the bed. “It’s hard to imagine you doing courtesies and waltz around the room like some goddamn princess.”
“What are you talking about?” straightening up from fixing your shoelaces you place your hands on your waist. “I am the fucking Queen, not the flimsy princess.”
He let out a chuckle and ushered you towards the door.
“Hurry up, you’re already late. They might punish you by wearing lacey dresses with corsets.”
You pouted.
“Lace is hot but only in the bedroom.”
You proceeded to avoid the shoes he hurled at your head before ducking out of the room, the remains of your laughter echoing in the empty hallways.
 You weren’t exactly sure what to expect when you stepped in, maybe a teacher with spectacles and way-too-tight corset, maybe a lady-in-waiting or even the Queen herself.
What you didn’t expect was eight princes, four out of them shrieking and hooting…spanking each other? You halted for a second, waiting for your brain to process the view of Prince Yuta throwing Prince Renjun over his shoulder with a victorious holler. Johnny, the only reasonable out of all of them, was unfortunately missing and suddenly you felt like you have made the worst possible decision on agreeing to learn etiquette with them.
You cleared your throat and the room went still as death.
Renjun peeked over in your direction from Yuta’s shoulder, Donghyuck slowly removed his hand from Mark’s butt, Jaemin smoothed down Jungwoo’s hair and Jaehyun let go of Chenle’s collar.
“I’m…sorry for being…” a glance down at your phone, “two minutes and thirty-four seconds late.”
Jaehyun stood straight up and smoothing his caramel hair back, let out a crooked smile, one that showed his dimples off discreetly.
“It’s – it’s alright. Please take a seat,” he said and Jungwoo whipped out a chair out from somewhere behind them and spun it right in front of you.
Feeling the tiny bubble of nervousness grow in your stomach, you lowered yourself on the chair and just to show you’re not as barbaric as is might show occasionally, you crossed your legs. As you let your eyes scan over the princes standing in a half circle in front of you, you gave a silent thanks to Winwin for not letting you out in high heels and an edgy outfit. Most of the princes in front of you were wearing branded hoodies and shirts with jeans or sweatpants and sneakers. Were they even allowed to do that?
Under the inspecting gazes of the royals suddenly you became aware of the fact that you left your hair in a hazy ponytail with a minimal amount of makeup.
“You might wonder why we are your teachers instead of a chaperone of a sort,” Yuta started with a steely gaze and you straightened your back, “you see, I don’t know what kind of plan you’re cooking for the gala in honour of you and your gang, but no one can be aware of that. So, we will be looking after your education in basic royal etiquette,” he announced before giving a mocking bow, and you swore you saw Jungwoo roll his eyes.
“You make it sound so serious,” the younger prince said, “we were going to help her out anyways.”
“What about the guys? Like Yukhei?” Chenle quipped in and you let out a small smile.
“We already told them the basic stuff,” Mark sighed, “plus people don’t pay attention to men. The spotlight is on…” he made a grand sort of hand motion in your direction, “the ladies at all times. Especially the ones who seem like they want to stab someone in the throat,” he turned to you with a deadpanned expression and murmured, “you might want to work on that general expression of yours Miss.”
Yuta snorted and looked over at Mark.
“She has the ultimate resting bitch face in case you haven’t noticed it.”
“Something you guys have in common,” grunted Renjun from beside Yuta and the older turned to him with a shocked expression but before he could retort anything, Jaehyun interrupted.
“How about we start, we don’t have much time. Five days, brothers. Focus.” His sweet baritone washed over you and the hair stood up on the back of your neck.
Jungwoo nodded and cracked his knuckles.
“Lesson one, Miss Z…”
“Please just call me Z,” you interrupted quickly, and he inclined his head.
“Lesson one will be sitting. Crossing legs is not okay if you are sitting in front of people.”
You quickly uncrossed your legs and listened to his instructions and tried not to get distracted with the softness of his voice.
“Imagine your knees are being glued together,” he started, and you brought your knees together, slightly frowning at the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach, “and that some old nasty perverted paparazzi is trying to have a shot of under your skirt.”
“A shot of what?!” you exclaimed, and it was Jaemin’s turn to roll his eyes.
“Tilt them a little, like this,” he bent his knees as if he was sitting and turned them to the right. You imitated, and they nodded in satisfaction.
And then you learned how to hold a teacup and a wineglass, you learned how to get out of a car and how to hide your cleavage when bending down. You greet people you know with a kiss on the cheek or a firm handshake and you hold your handbag in front of you at all times, in your hand.
The princes made an excellent job at teaching you – even though Yuta snapped at you multiple times and Chenle let out that laugh with a frequency higher than Yukhei’s. Winwin wasn’t wrong, you did indeed need to walk with a bunch of encyclopaedias on your head – and when you did, you silently thanked yourself all those gym sessions with Yukhei because if it wasn’t for them you would have most likely broke your neck under the weight of the books.
“You need to imagine that your spine is a cord,” explained Jungwoo as he rolled his sleeves up, “that cord is your spine – “
“And you straighten the fuck out of it,” finished Yuta.
A beat of silence.
“Why the fuck do you need to swear in every single one of your sentences?” Jaehyun’s voice resonated something like an ever-lasting suffer, with his eyebrows shot up until his hairline. From the corner of your eyes you saw Renjun silently bury his face into his hand.
“Who are you to talk, you just said ‘fuck’!” Yuta retorted before squinting his eyes towards his younger brother.
You let the bare thought of smile playing around the corner of your lips.
“I didn’t know princes were allowed to swear,” you chuckled carefully so the encyclopaedia placed on the crown of your head won’t fall. Yuta shrugged and placed his chin on the top of his hand – which would have been a sweet gesture if he wasn’t looking like he wished you were dead at all times.
“The forbidden fruit is the sweetest,” was all he said with a sort of melancholy in his voice. You glanced at your feet and took a deep breath.
“So, straighten the fuck out of the cord, right?” you forced a smile and Yuta hid a grin.
With aching slowness, you lifted yourself up from the chair, cautious of the books atop your head. Spreading your arms, you searched for your balance, bit your lip in concentration.
“You’re doing great,” murmured Jungwoo, his voice sweet yet distant, reminding you of an early summer breeze. You took a step, the books stable. The princes remained silent, watching you carefully, not daring to disturb the concentration on your features. After five steps you dared to open one of your eyes. Your shoes made no noise on the polished marble as you walked agonizingly slowly towards the end of the room – touch the wall, girl. Touch the wall. After another five steps you arrived next to Jaehyun – the prince standing farthest away from you, barely participating in the teaching.
Throughout the firing instructions and shouts to get you to learn the proper etiquette, he stood and observed – occasionally letting out a huff of amusement.
You felt his gaze on you during the two hours you have spent there, and it took every fibre of your being not to let heat rush to your cheeks. He has gotten the worst out of you, reminding you of adolescent years, broken hearts and flushing cheeks from the tiniest of touches. Suddenly the books on your head became heavier and you became even more alert of the gazes that followed and inspected your every movement.
He only came close to you once the princes decided it would be a good idea to be done for that day. His steps were silent, cautious as he sauntered closer to you as you placed the last book off your head.
“There is something I haven’t quite be able to stop wondering about,” he said, his voice as casual as it could get. Arching one of your eyebrows you encouraged him to keep talking. “Doyoung said that it might take you some time to incline to follow the proposal from us about Kim Seokjin – “he corrected himself rapidly when he saw a warning glint in your eyes, “not that you had a lot of chance to do anything else. I’m – sorry about that.”
“Don’t beat around the bush with me, Prince,” you purred, and you saw his Adams apple bob for a second.
“No, I was just wondering what the reason for that quick acceptance was. I would have completely understood if you needed more time like a week or something, but…I’m not sure I can figure this one.”
His voice lowered into a murmur and you cocked your head to the side, for some reason not really taken aback by his questions.
“You see, women don’t have that sheer brutality when it comes to violence. We aren’t inclined to go head first into situations,” you found Jaehyun searching your face while you talked, and you forced yourself not to flinch or retreat a step. You smoothed the edge of your nails on the skin of your wrist. “But we are good at other things, things that are underestimated by males who have not met with one of us. Who have not experienced our ways of handling situations. Instead of testosterone and bruised knuckles we have cunning, we have the strings to the puppets in the games and – “you brought your fingernails away from your wrist and lifted it, moving it towards his chest, stopping only a millimetre away from the fine material of his sweatshirt.
You heard him suck in a breath and for a second you let yourself relish in his reaction. “- and we have the power of seduction,” you continued, lowering your hand, “a power which is just as fun as dangerous to play with. It’s sort of a game, prince, with rules that you need to be stuck to. Like glue. Or else the cost is your life,” you let out a shaky breath and the echo of a sad smile, “seduce or be seduced, Jaehyun.”
The similar rhythm of your phone’s buzz shook you out of your reverie from the direction of Yuta’s hand, signalling the arrival of a text message. (The prince snatched it from your hand before you could place it on the ground somewhere in the corner of the large room, and to your dismay he kept it in his lap throughout the lesson.)
Jaehyun tilted his head to the side as his eyes narrowed at you. His face was void of any visible emotion other than a single dimple that played on the edge of his lips.
“You got a message from… Winnie The Pooh?” his voice changed from exasperated to confused as he glanced at your back turned to him. You pushed down the urge to spin on your heels and grab it from his hands. Containing your instincts, you cleared your throat.
“Yes. His name is Winwin. Our hacker,” your voice was barely above a whisper and slowly took a one-eighty turn. Yuta pouted dramatically and nodded.
“The blond with the manbun?” he asked, and you blinked slowly.
“Yeah.”
You snatched the phone with a quick movement and left the room with quick steps after he let out something similar to a genuine smile.
 “We need to create a fake identity for you,” said Taeil the third day you arrived back into Taeyong’s room which has grown itself out to be a sort of common lounge for the Snakes.
“Yeah?” you huffed as you dumped your high heels on the burgundy carpet and reached down to massage your aching heel. To hell with the waltz. Grabbing a scrunchie that perhaps belonged to Winwin you hastily tied your hair up and sat down across from him.
“What do you have in mind?”
He nodded as he pulled out his usual notebook, the one he used every time when he planned something.
“Yesterday after your training I talked with Prince Johnny and asked about the families that are well known in the castle and in the circles of the high-status people,” he opened the notebook on a page filled with his messy but still somewhat organized handwriting. You leaned closer as he continued, “there is an orphan heiress of a nearby territory, she never gets out of her villa and she doesn’t care at all what’s going on inside. She hasn’t stirred any drama and people acknowledge her enough to be aware of who she is and all that.”
Your eyebrows shot up as you looked at him.
“Orphan?”
“Yes. The family was attacked one night, murdered in cold blood during their dinner. The murderers slit Lord Jung’s throat and stabbed his wife but for some unknown reason they left their daughter alone. Her name is Jisoo.”
“And I’m going to be Jisoo.”
He nodded with a solemn look on his face, “you are going to be Miss Jung Jisoo.”
Lifting your chin, you remembered the lesson about presenting grace and patience, about displaying your full interest concerning a matter. You placed your hands folded lightly into your lap and angled your paralleled knees towards Taeil.
“Tell me more.”
 Jaehyun reached over to Johnny to angle back his crooked tie.
“You think she will do well?” the older prince levelled his voice down, so the maids rushing around them with oversized buckets of flowers won’t hear a thing. Jaehyun saw flashes of that young woman with encyclopaedias on her head and hellfire in her eyes. He let out the faintest smile.
Johnny sighed, “We taught her everything she needs to know,” as he adjusted his navy suit over the black turtleneck shirt. Jaehyun pursed his lips, his eyes glued to an arrangement of flowers in the corner, by a Corinth marble statue.
“I don’t know, she seems pretty stubborn. She was.”
Johnny cut him a glance.
“Wouldn’t you know that, brother,” he drawled, a new kind of amusement glinting in his eyes. Jaehyun fought the urge to cringe and instead pluck a flower from a bucket which passed him, the maid almost invisible behind the gigantic arrangement.
“This ball will be something else,” he murmured to himself, “I have a feeling that all this decoration adds the feeling of…feeding the pig before cutting it down. Don’t you think?”
Johnny was silent for a second.
“Listen…even though we taught her the basic etiquette and even though there will be heavy security…they are a gang. They thrive on illegal stuff and violence and I’m just not entirely sure whether all this was a good idea.”
Jaehyun’s eyebrows furrowed as he listened to his brother.
“You were the one holding us together with your positivity. Don’t start having doubts now or I swear to God – “
Johnny cut in before he could finish, “No, it isn’t like that. What I’m saying is…” his voice dropped down, barely audible over the murmurs and buzzing of the servants, “they are not accustomed to this life. Who knows whether there will be trigger that makes them turn against us?” Shaking his head, he smoothed the hair out of his eyes.
“I think it will be alright,” Jaehyun muttered, “if they were to turn against us, they would have already done it. Hopefully the night will go smoothly.”
  “For the fifth time, take that thing out of my hair it makes me look like a fucking garden,” you pleaded as you reached for the flower crown arranged into a pink disaster on top of your head. It has been one and a half hour since they bathed you – they were in there with you and they scrubbed your everything even though it was supposed to be a relaxing bath. You were everything but relaxed – before they placed you in front of a wide, rose gold vanity.  
“Listen young lady, we were ordered to make your appearance appropriate and fitting for the theme of the dinner.”
The woman, Ms Seol, who was responsible for your look, was a bitch. Her white hair was filled with pearls and other ornaments and she was wearing a disturbing amount of makeup to hide her wrinkles. And that enormous hooked nose. Its sole purpose was to lure you into punching her square in the face. On top of that she kept ordering you around and considering the fact that she had no clue who you actually were and the industrial number of maids coming in and out of the room they took you – you had no chance of getting out of here without looking like a complete idiot. You regretted all your decisions not only about agreeing to play a role but about accepting the proposal of the Royal Family.
Take a deep breath every time you feel like screaming, said Kun in the morning before you were taken to literal Hell, and count to ten.
Don’t lose your temper, Z.
Don’t lose it.
You forced a glittering smile.
“Ma’am,” you mused with a voice filled with glazing honey and venom, “I was invited to this dinner because of my status and looks, and the palace hired you to strengthen the latter – not to destroy its complete existence.”
She blinked twice, and you remembered Prince Renjun’s words: “You need to speak with authority with people whose status’ are lower than yours, even though you’re lying. Believe what you are saying yourself, place yourself into that situation and the others will believe it, too.”
You inhaled deeply, not breaking eye contact with Ms Seol and with renewed authority and pride in your words you said, “I am planning to get highly intoxicated on the alcoholic beverages offered tonight and finding a fairly handsome bachelor who will later blow my back out for I will be too irresistible for him and his lower, manly body parts,” you flashed a thousand-watt smile, “if you know what I mean.”
Her face contorted from surprise to contempt then into complete disgust all the while looking at you, sporting a soft pink bathrobe and a grin.
You flipped your hair above your shoulders and opened your mouth to add to her horror but the monotone and yet still cheerful voice of someone stopped you.
“My my, I knew the lady was trouble but what I just heard completely succeeded my expectations,” the maids in the room parted to give space to the newcomer, an ebony haired beauty with a mischievous glint in her eyes, “what a warm welcome.”
Her hand was resting on a black suitcase and a leather sport bag, her companion – all four female – stood behind her in suits and portable dress carriers packed with gowns hidden in their bags.
The woman pushed her sunglasses up onto her forehead and flashed you a grin.  
“Miss Jung,” she pronounced the word with an enough amount of sarcasm for you to know she was aware of your secret and had an exact idea on who you actually were, “I am you stylist. Your actual stylist.”
She levelled her gaze onto Ms. Seol with enough contempt to discourage the woman in every way – you shivered.
“Your services are no longer needed Ma’am, and neither is the rest of the staff.”
It took them a couple of seconds and a few fuelled glances to be outside the door.
Placing your knee on the bejewelled and soft armchair, you turned around to face your saviour of some sort. Her hair fell down on her back in soft curls and her lips were tainted devil red. She was the only one wearing pants with matching blazer and a white t-shirt. The most mesmerizing thing about her, though, was her darker complexion - Her honey skin shone in the daylight and the golden eyeshadow brightened the glow in her eyes.
“My name is Tan, pleased to meet you, assassin.”
You tilted your head with an equally wide grin.
“The honour is mine, stylist,” standing up, you let her run her eyes over your body and shape and you felt an odd satisfaction when she nodded her head.
“I wasn’t entire sure about your complexion. It’s not like I can find a proper picture of you on the internet,” she clicked her tongue and shrug her blazer off, “would you feel uncomfortable if you were naked in front of us?”
You arched an eyebrow. She smiled.
“For research purposes.”
Your let out a low snicker before undoing your robe and letting it fall to the ground, revealing your naked figure.
“Perfect,” was all she said before turning to her companion and exchanged a few words in a language unfamiliar to you. The female staff unzipped a couple of bags before pushing the wheeled carrier towards Tan.
“I was hired by Johnny,” she said as she looked through the dresses hung up, “he had a feeling that his parents will give you the stylist which will cause the most headache,” she clicked her tongue again with distaste, “she obviously had no taste.”
You picked up the robe before placing it on your shoulders.
“You know His Majesty well?”
She snorted before glancing at you, “He’s my childhood best friend. I was engaged to him, but you see,” she flicked her wrist towards you and two of the females gestured for you to sit back down, “I fell in love with a girl.”
Your eyebrows arched up again as you stared at her from the reflection of the vanity. If she was engaged to the eldest prince, then she must herself be royal as well. Tilting your head to the side you let the two females undo your previous, disastrous hairdo and each of them grabbing a hairbrush and an ironer, started to straighten your hair.
“I know what you are thinking,” Tan said as she unzipped a bag completely but the dress in it remained hidden from you. “I was only 16.”
Her voice remained neutral, levelled out. Your nose crinkled as the burning heat of the iron came a bit too close.
“Something happened,” you murmured, your own voice careful, and your eyes met in the reflection. She knew you weren’t asking, and her lips curled up in a sad smile.
“It didn’t quite work out between me and her eventually,” her voice remained emotionless and you weren’t sure whether that was true or not, but you kept yourself from pushing her. It was not your place to know. And you just met.
“16 is an age when changes happen,” you said instead and looking at yourself in the mirror, you got lost in your own reflection for a second. “Usually they are not for the best.”
She didn’t look at you, instead she pulled out a device and plugging it into the nearest connector she turned it on. Her nails were tainted red and you noticed that her bottom lip was slightly plusher than the top.
“What happened to you?”
Her question took you by surprise and you flinched. The burning iron missed the skin of your ear by only a couple of millimetres. When you looked back up, your gaze met with hers. You teared your eyes away from hers and stared into your own instead.
“I fell in love with the wrong person.”
Your voice was so low you thought the wind carried it away, out through the window into the sky. To be lost and forgotten. But it wasn’t.
“It cost you something, didn’t it?” her voice was soft but not weak and you could only nod. When she shivered, it was like she came out of something like a trauma before she clapped her hands.
“Us girls, we need to stick together and help each other,” her voice was lively now but her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, “too bad Ms. Seol wasn’t able to comprehend that.”
You chuckled, and she turned to the remaining two of her staff and instructed them in that foreign language she used before. Your skin tingled, you felt like she knew every fibre of yours, even though it has been less than half an hour since she stepped into the suite.
“Is her hair done?” she turned to you shortly after. The females behind you stepped back and nodded. Tan lowered herself onto the vanity table and crossing your legs you stared up at her.
“Here is what I know,” her voice was calm, calculating, and a shiver of exhilaration ran down your spine, “I know that you are the most wanted assassin in the country. I know that you prefer to be called Z. I know that you were hired by the Royal Family to find and eliminate the threat imposed on their lives and I know that this dinner and ball will be a mission of yours.”
You didn’t let any emotion show on your face and she cocked her head to the side before she continued.
“I further know that in this ball your mission is to seduce Kim Seokjin, the universe’s greatest narcissist and jerk and bachelor, however what I don’t know is…” she stared into your eyes and you let her. “What I don’t know if it is your intention to destroy him.”
Your mouth curled into a devilish grin and so did hers.
“Really, it depends. I was told to get the information out of him but – I was not prohibited to have my own fun,” Tan nodded.
“What do you know about him?”
“Enough,” you shrugged, “I know that he loves women and that he is influential enough to be able to pull the strings of terror against the Royal Family.”
Tan smoothed her hair behind her ear, and she moved over to the bag in which, you guessed, was your dress.
“He likes champagne and gold as well,” she purred and pulled the zipper down and jaw dropped as she revealed the dress.
The Dress.
It was the most beautiful piece of clothing you have ever seen, you felt your eyes physically stuck the material. It was everything you were not and everything you wanted to be and you adored it. Its colour was a light shade of gold, the slightly transparent material adorned with rains of diamonds. The top was sleeveless, and the décolletage ran down to the middle of your stomach in a straight, piercing v-line, showing enough skin to make men wild. The bottom part was flowy and when you squinted to see better you noticed that it was cut up on both sides.
“I am going to turn you into everything he would ever wish for,” mused Tan and you huffed in satisfaction, “you will become the Women and the Gold and the Champagne of his life and you will succeed in your mission.”
Words got stuck in your throat as you glanced at her and you noticed that ever consuming fire, the fury raging in her orbs.
Revenge.
She wanted revenge for something.
And that is what you will have, not only in the name of the Royal Family, but in anyone’s who was ever wronged by that man.
So, you smiled with a fire burning with equal heat to hers and said, “Let’s turn this place upside down.”
 Prince Jaehyun had absolutely no clue who half of the people in the Grand Ballroom were. It could be reprimanded, yes, for he is a prince and he is expected to know and greet all the nobles and influential who had come to the dinner and ball.
Unsuspecting.
Of what was about to happen, of who they are in the same room with, of the people they innocently engage into conversations with, thinking that ‘oh that young man with a half-moon eye laugh and perfect manners must be a distant relative of the Royal Family’. How sweet.
As he nursed his tall glass of champagne, Jaehyun kept himself as distanced as possible from the guests, who were hopefully occupied with the sweet manners of Jungwoo and the small talks of Johnny. Behind him, carefully arranged flowers decorated the soft cream coloured, marble columns that towered over the people, holding the cupola shaped ceiling.
To his right, at the very front of the room, lay the grand staircase which led in the guests through the double-winged wooden doors.
Reaching behind himself, Jaehyun plucked a piece of grape and plopped it into his champagne.
“That was gross,” drawled a voice from behind and the prince turned with a slow, graceful movement. Half hidden in the shadows the master spy, Ten, glared back at him. “Oh, Ten always knows the latest of the tea. Believe me, you don’t want to be there when he decides to spill it. It’s a catastrophe”. Your words floated into his mind in a soft sweet whisper and he suddenly remembered the power hidden behind those words. Your words. The spy did not have his eyes covered by a messy fringe like Jaehyun saw most of the times, but instead it was elegantly gelled back, revealing a clean forehead and sharp cut eyes. He didn’t bother buttoning up the top three buttons on his black shirt under the blazer.
Ten tilted his head and a strand of raven hair fell into his eyes.
“I came to report to Your Majesty,” he purred and Jaehyun stepped closer, “Everyone is in place as it was planned.”
“Is it based on what we have talked about last time?” Jaehyun murmured into his champagne glass. Ten inclined his head.
“Winwin is behind the security cameras in the basement. Jeno is mingling along with Kun. Doyoung and Taeyong are up in the gallery,” Ten mused in a voice similar to the shadows behind him before he glanced up at the private, veiled area and the lounge for the highest nobility and the princes. And now the assassins.
„Yukhei is over there,” Ten made a discrete head movement towards a waiter with a silver tray, packed with champagne glasses. As if arsonist knew the prince and the spy were talking about him, he turned around and sent a wink towards them. “Taeil and Jisung are lingering outside and well…”
The corner of Ten’s mouth curls upwards in a smile that promises nothing but chaos, “Z has yet to make her grand entrance.”
Jaehyun sighed into his champagne before he placed it onto Yukhei’s tray, who had gotten there in the meantime.
“What about my brothers?”
Ten leaned back into the silver coloured wall-fresco and Yukhei slowly placed new glasses onto his tray.
“Princes Johnny and Yuta are mingling as you see,” from the corner of his eyes, Jaehyun saw a female with lipstick that was so strong anyone would have seen it from the other end of the castle, bat her eyelashes at Yuta. “Prince Jungwoo is up on the gallery with Doyoung and Taeyong. And I believe Mark and Jaemin are on the balcony. Chenle and Donghyuck are with Winwin, down in the basement,” the spy’s voice then dropped into a whisper as he added, “thank to all the gods above. That young prince of yours, Donghyuck, is the devil incarnate.”
Jaehyun nodded with a small smile and Yukhei dropped a macaron into his mouth.
Grimace veiled over Ten’s face as he ran his eyes over the guests.
“I pay all my respect to you princes for being able to live surrounded with this much pretentiousness,” he drawled and scrunched his nose when he noticed a female tugging the cleavage of her dress lower before slipping in Johnny’s way, “do you know have some sort of limit to the people you let in here?”
“She,” Jaehyun lifted his champagne towards the female, no, girl, attempting to flirt shamelessly with the oldest prince, “is the youngest daughter of one of my father’s financial advisors.”
Ten snorted and Yukhei choked on his second macaron.
“I mean call me a savage but even I know that she ain’t supposed be acting like that,” the spy said before smoothing the loosened hair back onto his head.
Before he left, he turned to the prince with a serious expression, “You know what your role here is, right Your Majesty?”
As soon as Jaehyun nodded, the spy was nowhere to be seen.
“Your Majesty,” Yukhei mumbled before placing the last glass of champagne on the tray, “Is it your first mission?”
For a second Jaehyun was taken aback, and with eyes wide he scanned the taller male’s frame,
“I believe it is. Why?”
Flicking his bowtie, Yukhei shrugged.
“Was just gonna say that if you remember everything we have talked about, nothing can go wrong, y’know?”
With a cheeky grin that stretched across his face, giving his eyes a fiery sort of glow, the arsonist said, “Good luck prince. Try not to get lost in the flow!”
Jaehyun swirled his second glass, the words of the arsonist echoing in his mind.
Flow.
Try not to get lost in the flow.
Suddenly, he remembered crystal clearly what Taeil, the logistic said as a warning to him and his brothers.
“Once things get going – once all hell breaks loose – it will be easy to forget who we are and what we are supposed to do. We panic, and the rush of adrenalin, the Fight or Flight, will be the one dictating our actions. Not our brain.”
Jaehyun swirled his champagne again, his other hand curling in the pockets of his pants.
“Set your mind on your goal – turn it into something that you don’t only want with your brain, but with your instincts, your very core. That way, you won’t be washed away with the flow, as we like to call it.”
A brush of material pulled him back from his reverie, and a familiar, musky sent filled his nostrils and he knew who it was before he even had the chance to turn around. He grinned into the rim of the champagne glass.
“Hello there, Tan,” he mused, and the faint noise of her chuckle reached his ears and reminded himself of old memories, reminded him of tiny feet scurrying along the marble floors, reminded him of shrieks of exhilaration. Reminded him of his childhood.
“Hello, Woojae.”
“It’s been some time,” keeping his voice low, Jaehyun glanced at his friend, took in the familiarity of the shade of her skin, the lines of her eyes, the arch of her eyebrows. He saw little difference from what he remembered from…” ten years, right?”
“Something close to that.”
Her voice still had the edge, that stinging tone which reminded everyone that she was from another land, that her mother tongue was a language completely different to his own.
Tilting her head, she smoothed over her dress, an elegant black piece with just enough ornaments to make it look out of the ordinary. Her lipstick reflected some of the chandeliers’ lights as her mouth pulled into a smile.
“Quite a mess you got yourself into.”
It wasn’t entire a question. He just let out the tiniest of sighs. Her eyes raked him up and down.
“You’re really tense. It’s way too obvious,” placing her own glass of champagne down she placed herself in front of Jaehyun.
Only that, with that smooth movement, her body collided with someone else’s.
“My dear, my apologies it’s my fault – “she started but words got stuck as her chest tightened at the sight of the spy. Jaehyun remembered the young man’s name, heard it being called enough times in the Diamond Snake’s suite, which has grown itself out to be more of a residence, camping site.
“I mean yeah it kind of is. Better be more careful next time,” Jeno purred with a wink before continuing his way into the crowd. Jaehyun caught the warning glint in the spy’s eyes. And kept his mouth shut.
“Who does he think he is,” Tan murmured more to herself than to the prince, “looking that good?”
Jaehyun choked, “sometimes I forget that you are almost three years younger than us.”
Shrugging, the stylist sipped from the glass as she raked her eyes over the guests and judging from her frown, she was quietly evaluating the dresses.
“This party is a disaster, was it the grandma that dressed these people? Speaking of her,” Jaehyun felt her eyes search his face, “I had quite a guest today, did you know?”
Jaehyun gulped, his eyes searching for Johnny. He knew who she was talking about.
Tan continued, “she is a tough little thing. I like it,” taking a sip she thought a little, “you find her intriguing, don’t you, Woojae?”
“Why would you think that?” his voice wasn’t as confident as he hoped it would be.
“Maybe we have not seen each other for a long time,” Tan purred, her rich accent weaving through her voice, “but I will never forget your compassion towards unusual things.”
It felt like his heart had let go of its strings, falling free. The breath got caught in his lungs and suddenly the only thing he wanted to do was sit on the balcony, surrounded by stars and darkness. Focus. He has to focus, he has to follow the plan.
“You can’t have compassion towards things that are unusual. Broken,” he murmured, as if saying it out loud would make him believe his own words. Tan placed lowered her head slightly when a young man bowed in their direction.
“She’s not a thing. She’s human, just like you or me.”
Jaehyun turned to her, his face contorted into confusion. Does Tan even have any idea what she does?
Tan didn’t have to look at him to know what his question was going to be.
“Understand before you judge,” her eyes searched for something or someone in the crowd.
They didn’t have much time before the assassin arrived, he had to have Johnny near him.
“Tan, do you know what is about to happen?”
The stylist nodded.
“Johnny told me everything,” her voice softened, “I also know the role you need to play. You can do it, believe in yourself.”
When the door above the main staircase opened, he knew it was time.
But a little part of him fell apart when he glanced upon who entered.
His heart stopped beating for a short time and he was sure he was not the only one.
When Johnny slipped next to him, unnoticed by the nearby nobles whose eyes were glued on her, on top of the staircase, Jaehyun almost couldn’t hear the words that left the oldest prince’s lips,
“All hail to the queen of Hell.”
Tan smirked, her blood-red lips painting a cruel, beautiful line on her face.
Your steps were confident as you descended the stairs, your movements a whirlwind of gold and crystal and fire. The champagne coloured dress showed off the expanse of your legs through the cuts and the back of the dress flowed behind you as a cape. A queen indeed.
“Kim Seokjin is right there,” Johnny whispered into his ear then, and Jaehyun snapped out of the momentary trance he fell in. His eyes followed the direction of the nod and he spotted the young, influential noble with eyes stuck on the assassin. A hunter, and a prey.
Only, it wasn’t the young man who led the hunt.
“Go, brother,” Johnny murmured, and the younger prince straightened, and placed the expression of a royal, of an heir. A veil that no one could see through. A mask that was forever stuck on his face. People stepped out of his way, and soon there was a narrow corridor between him and the assassin who was almost at their level. Her hair was straightened out and half of her hair was braided into a bun on the back of her head – he had to admit, she took the air from his lungs. Soon enough, there was no other sound in the room than the soft clicks of her golden stilettoes.
They reached the bottom of the Grand Staircase at the same time.
Her hand, adorned with thin, golden bracelets and rings, rested on the ivory railing.
When they locked gazes, he swore he could feel the universe expand.
“Your Majesty,” she said then, with a voice clear like a crystal, and lowering herself almost to the ground, curtsied. Reciprocating the gesture, he bowed before taking her hand.
“My lady,” his voice was quiet but confident, and he felt the slight dug of her manicured nails on the back of his hand.
The polish wasn’t black, but a glowing shade of gold; he wasn’t sure whether he liked it or not. Whether he was used to the drastic change or not.
He led her anyways, into the middle of the dancefloor, with bronze leaves and curling figures carved deep into it. The guests backed up then, giving Jaehyun and the mysterious lady place. He looked at her.
Really looked at her, capturing her face into that moment, the slight bewilderment striking him in surprise – it was quite the opposite to what he was used to; the opposite of the always sly, always calm and collected glow in her eyes, that forever remained cold. Void of all emotions, unless she was with the Snakes.
He saw it, once.
“Say,” Johnny said one afternoon, leaning back in his armchair, “are you really as bloodthirsty as it is known in the country?”
It was one of the many occasions when the princes and the Snakes got to sit together and go through plans for the night of the ball.
When Jaehyun saw her and Taeyong exchange an all-knowing glance, he knew they were in for a treat.
“Bloodthirsty?” Z purred, and a Cheshire cat grin appeared on her face, “I have a story with bloodthirst, right, Yukhei?”
The arsonist smashed the ice-cream tub fiercely against the glass of the coffee table and Jaehyun cringed.
“Z, don’t,” Yukhei warned, his deep voice laced with grumbling laughter. The assassin’s eyes sparkled as she threw her legs over the arms of the sofa and leaned her head back, locks of hair tumbling down on the other side.
“I don’t know if this counts but,” she started and Jeno placed his head between his knees, his shoulders shaking violently, “our dearest Yukhei here, tried to…court a woman and the fact that she was going through her…monthly inconveniences didn’t deter him from doing it anyways.”
A beat of silence.
Then the roar of laughter echoing through the room and disbelief dripping from the royal princes’ expressions.
“She said it was fine?” Yuta grimaced and scooted further away from Yukhei who was hitting his knee in both amusement and embarrassment.
Z nodded, “she was into it as well,” and that was it for Jaehyun, who joined the others as soon as the surprise wore off.
When he caught her eyes, he saw galaxies shining in them.
Even though it was not the first time they danced and so held hands, the roughness of her palm never failed to surprise him. Callouses lined the expanse of her hands and arms and still, she carried herself as if she was the finest of diamond, the smoothest of velvets.
Pride, perhaps.
Pride of a criminal.
He spun her in front of himself, the memorised steps making both of their movements fluid and graceful – dancers in top of a lake. She faced him with her chin high up, a light fierce determination glowing in her gold-rimmed eyes. Jaehyun forced his heart into a steady rhythm, and when the music started, they danced.
 It was hard really, ignoring his cologne as he led you around the dancefloor, his eyes unreadable and yet still glowing with the warmest of lights. You were certain that if he wasn’t holding your waist you would have collapsed. This was not what you were used to – it was farm from the familiarity of the shadows and house roof tiles and in a twisted way, it frightened you to the bone. Not only a week, but even ten years’ worth of training wouldn’t have been able to ready you for the amount of attention aimed into your direction. It felt confusing – like being in a war with yourself, by living up to expectations but remaining true to yourself. The two were lightyears away from each other and you dreaded it.
But there was a plan.
And your job was to follow it.
Be the pretty lady that everyone expects you to be, Taeil’s soft-spoken voice sounded in the back of your mind and you swallowed, forcing yourself to meld your expressions into something soft, something endearing as you gazed into Jaehyun’s face.
His palm tightened on your waist in validation.
His fingers gazed the narrow slit on your waist, showing your skin off, although that small amount was nothing compared to the two giant slits that showed almost the entirety of your legs off.
Just enough so no one will have a glimpse on the dagger hidden beneath the fabric. A lady can never be safe enough.
“Seokjin is on the edge of the crowd by the pastries,” he murmured into your ear, his breath blowing the hair on the nape of your neck. Goosebumps erupted along your spine. With an elegant movement he led you so that you could take a look at the governor.
He was there, with ebony hair swept back, showing off his forehead and eyebrows – both of them beautiful and incredibly elegant. A scarlet-gowned female with breast spilling out of her dress tried to get his attention but with no success. As you turned the other direction, you felt his gaze following you, into and around the dancefloor with Jaehyun.
But you spun and twirled with Jaehyun, his santal-wood smell invading your senses, filling them, reminiscing.
And then Johnny came.
And the music stopped along with you and the prince. A wave of murmur tremored through the guests, some of them glaring, some of them whispering, some of them standing, confusion evident on their features.
Curtsying deeply, you didn’t look the eldest in the eyes, but you didn’t need to in order to know the silent fury burning in his orbs.
Yet his voice was as cold as the frost on top of a leaf as he said, “brother, I believe it is mine turn now.”
For a second Jaehyun’s fingertips lingered on your skin, but then he inclined his head. Lifting your head slowly you glanced at the two brothers, glaring at each other, letting tension rise in the Grand Ballroom.
“The music hadn’t stopped when you intruded, so I am going to need you to let me finish the first dance,” was Jaehyun’s reply, and you shivered at his icy tone. From under your lashes you glanced at Seokjin, and the elegant swirl of the champagne caught your eyes. As he stared, he tilted his head. Interested. Fascinated.
He likes the cat and mouth game, Yuta’s voice resonated in your mind, he likes the chase and the sheer idea of conquering something or someone that is desired by many. Makes him feel triumphant.
You didn’t dare questioning his knowledge about the young governor.
As you tore your gaze from him, you found that Johnny was still in the middle of the dancefloor, middle of the attention as he slowly but surely, towered over Jaehyun – who did not back down. The soft-spoken prince was biting back words colder than ice, a side of him that you had not seen before. The guests didn’t need to hear any of the words spoken between the princes to figure out the reason of the sizzling tension between them.
You didn’t despise it as much as you thought you would.
From your hidden earpiece came a static sound and then Winwin’s baritone, “he is on the way, Z, do not turn around,” and straightening your back, you brought your hands together and began to massage your fingers together.
Show vulnerability but have your back straightened at all times.
“Excuse my intrusion, Your Majesties,” the voice that purred not far from you made your muscles tensed, senses sharpened and mind clearer.
Kim Seokjin was tall, almost as tall as Johnny, who towered over most of the guests. Your diamond earrings reflected all colours of the universe as it reflected the chandelier lights; his eyes seemed to gleam in a similar way when you turned around to look at him, up close.
If you have not dealt with models and men with incredible looks you might have fainted right on spot.
You didn’t even attempt to deny the fact that he was beautiful.
Something like triumph glinted in the princes’ eyes as they glanced at Seokjin before giving him a court nod. The low chirps and murmurs of the guests slowly but steadily rose again.
“Mr Kim, how are you enjoying the ball?” queried Jaehyun, with a smile that emphasized his dimples off and melted ice. The governor bowed and his plump limps quirked upwards, into a smile that did not reach his eyes.
“I find it pleasant, My Lord, although,” he added and suddenly you were hyperaware of his gaze as it slid along your body, reminding you of liquid silver and snake scale. Cold and smooth. “My breath is quite taken away.”
It was easy, really.
Way too easy in your opinion but the faint whisper in the back of your head nudged you along, to follow the plan. The cooling touch of the blade on your thigh helped you with keeping your bubbling adrenaline on the low.
You swore you saw something in Jaehyun’s eyes before he stepped away from you, along with Johnny – whose smile was close to the shade of the moonlight when it hits the ivory walls of the castle. Cool. Dark. Ever-knowing.
“Apologies for the little scene, ladies and gentlemen,” the eldest’s voice was now louder, less hushed and hurried, and his smile radiated nothing but victory, “Miss Jung is all yours, Mr Kim.”
And you danced again.
Seokjin’s hold was confident, a sort of distinct force that proved he knew he was better than everyone else here. That was what his eyes told you too. The shine of satisfaction gave everything away, and the more you stared into them, the brighter, more evident it became. Flattery. Maybe that’s what he needed.
“You are a good dancer, sir,” you mused, with a voice reminiscing of unkept promises and the softest of bedsheets. And he liked it. His lips, plump like the petals of a rose and, perhaps, with the touch of them, widened into a smirk as he gave a little bow of his head.
“You are too, Miss Jung, was it?”
As you spun around the dancefloor in a confident manner, more people started to fill the dancefloor, people with champagne bubbles in their blood and laughter in their eyes. You fought the urge to scrunch your nose. You have never wanted a cigarette more in your life.
“I am, sir. You must be Mr Kim Seokjin,” you tilted your head as you smiled at him, as honest as it could get, “I have heard about you.”
You felt his shoulders tense as he straightened himself even more, puffing out his chest like a bird before a mating dance. Men. Ridiculous, and the same.
No, not all, some distant part of your brain laughed at you and you ignored it.
“I believe I have heard your name before as well, Miss Jung. About your past, more like,” his voice was somehow apologetic, “a tragedy, really.”
You shook your head before you let him spin you out of his arms then back again, in sync with other dancers.
“It is in the past. I barely remember any of it. I grew up with the people who were entrusted with my upbringing,” you said, and he nodded in understanding.
For a while you didn’t say anything, just danced, for one round, then two and by the third your chest was heaving, and strands of your hair loosened out of the jewels adorning your head. You let his hands wander lower with each round, let his breath caress your neck, let him whisper in your ears.
And in turn you pressed your chest against his, danced your fingers on his suit-clad bicep, flashed the brightest of smiles that glowed as vividly as the crystals and gold on your fingers, around your neck, in your hair.
And you talked, and talked and whispered and giggled, until both of your ears were bleeding from it.
He spun you and you laughed and widened your eyes, so the chandelier lights reflected in them, making it seem like they were twinkling in joy, instead of calculation. He seemed enamoured and you gave yourself a mental pat on the shoulders.
It was after the fifth dance, while sipping champagne, that you said, “I need a bit of air, should we go out to the balcony?”
Walking in front of him, you put somewhat of a hot-blooded sensation in your steps so your lower back would swing more, and you practically felt the burn of his gaze as he walked behind you.
Goosebumps erupted on your skin when you stepped out on the balcony and the breeze got caught in your hair. There were not many people outside, only a couple and in the farthest corner you noted Jaemin and Mark, with their back to you. If they memorised the plan well then, they will be aware of the fact that you are there too.
Placing your elbows on the edge of the balcony, you gazed out onto the garden, filled with trees and flowery bushes, adorned with clear-white fairy lights. Seokjin leaned next to you, but with his back to the marble parapet. He sized you up and down, yet again, and pretending you haven’t noticed, you kept on sipping your champagne.
“You know,” you mused, staring at a couple behind an apple tree, “I find it so ironic, that the Royal Family arranges a ball like this,” you made a flick with your wrist, referring to the celebration, to the shrill laughs, to the liquid lies spilling out of nobles’ mouths, ��for a couple of gangsters only.”
He scoffed and you dared a glance.
His thumb brushed over his tulip lips before turning to watch you, your eyes and lips with a gaze that reminded you of madness and molten gold. He was supposed to be working for the King directly. Sure.
“Not for long,” he purred before leaning closer. You leaned with him, and you were certain that Mark and Jaemin shifted closer as well.
“You know,” Seokjin continued, “I find their presence incredibly disturbing. My office is not far from the Wing they live in…and for some reason I keep on hearing crashes and these terrible curses!” his voice went over into something like a whine and you tried to pull the most sympathetic smile you had.
“Oh, dear God!” you exclaimed before placing your bejewelled hand on your chest, “You hear those people?!”
He nodded vehemently before reaching out to twist a strand of your hair around his pinkie finger. You tilted your head so he wouldn’t see the tiny, transparent earpiece, hidden by the olive-branch shaped golden ear jewel.
“I hear them, almost every day,” he whispered, “I hear everything, see everything and I might just know how to get rid of them.”
You shuddered and your earpiece sizzled.
“You do?” you spoke equally low, and let your breath mingle with his, let him near your lips with a predator’s patience.
“I do,” he then looked straight into your eyes before purring, “and I might just think about keeping you alive.”
You stilled.
Jaemin and Mark stilled.
The whole world seemed to freeze into a moment of silence and calm and the only thing you heard was the beating of your own heart and the sizzling in your ear.
Then, for the first time that night, you heard Winwin’s voice.
“Z get the fuck out of there,” his voice was urgent, and you swore you heard a crashing noise from inside the ballroom.
Shit, shit, shit.
Your mind seemed to have gone blank and your eyes were searching in Seokjin’s to find that one sign that would lead you on, that would give you exit.
But the only thing you found was that ever-knowing glint, that confident smile which you have mistaken for arrogance.
This is not good.
“Z, are you there?” Ten’s voice resonated then, and you dared to look at the two younger princes who stood frozen, with their eyes glued on you. You tore your eyes away from them and calmed the thrumming of your blood. Or at least you tried. A whole night worth of adrenalin started to climb itself back into your brain and you swallowed. Don’t go with the flow. Don’t give in. Be the master. Be the superior.
Seokjin’s finger was now completely twisted in your hair, and you felt him grabbing the nape of your neck.
Another crashing noise.
And then the screams started.
Voices filled your ear, not only through the earpiece, but from the ballroom and you were just sure that chaos has erupted inside.
Mark and Jaemin started towards the double-winged glassdoors of the balcony and you bellowed.
“No! You two stay out here!”
They halted and maybe it was the force of your voice or the sheer terror in it that made them listen to you. You didn’t care.
This was a trap.
This has been a trap all along.
“Let me go,” you said then, your voice carefully veiled with calm and venom, and he smiled, that irritating, confident smile and you swore you have never wanted to punch someone so hard in the nose before.
As he let go you stepped away immediately, following the screams and chaotic noises into the ballroom.
You didn’t look back at Seokjin before throwing the doors open and stepping inside. Most of the people fled, a couple zipped past you with champagne stains on their outfits. Then the doors crashed close, trapping at least fifty people inside, along with yourself.
And the Snakes and Princes who were inside the ballroom.
It all went down in slow motion.
The dancefloor of the gigantic room cleared out, the remaining guests pushing themselves up against the walls. Pure terror was written all over their faces, at the scene that played in the very middle of the room.
Prince Chenle stood there.
With a knife at his throat.
And at the end of the knife, the person who was holding it…
Junhui.
You stopped breathing as you took in his face, took in that familiar, sharp smile.
As your eyes met with Yukhei’s from across the room, you were certain he was horrified, just as much as you.
They were here.
The Black Spade was here.
343 notes · View notes
islestrandeda · 5 years
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@@@@@@@ !!! spread the love bae !!!
POSITIVITY FOR ALL !!!
@girlfaired    —-     we’re starting this off with the one and only val  !!!!  there’s literally so many things to say about you and i have no idea where to begin :///// okay let’s start with a funny story that not even you know  !!!  before officially joining the descendants fandom,  i initially wanted to write evie  !!  and then i saw your evie and was in complete awe  ??  like i wanted the opportunity to write with you and your evie bc wow  ??  absolutely phenomenal  !!  i’m so glad i decided against it bc i wouldn’t of given evie the justice she deserves,  unlike you, my val  !!  you have this beauty and grace about you that radiates through your entire being  !!  you’re so passionate and light and i just can’t say enough nice things about you  ??  your portrayal of evie is absolutely,  without a doubt in my mind,  flawless  !!  and you truly inspire me to become not only a better writer but a better human being.  you was the first person i really bonded with on this blog and we’ve developed something special and i just… can’t go a day without talking to you / checking in on you,  i’m so unbelievably blessed to have you in my life and have you as a writing partner.  i could literally go on and write a WHOLE page of nice things about you but i have SEVEN PEOPLE to @ in this post and it’s gonna get long af :/// I’VE ALREADY SAID THIS A BILLION TIMES BUT I LOVE YOU WITH EVERYTHING I’VE GOT AND I’LL CONTINUE TO DO SO, ALWAYS AND FOREVER !!!  oh also actually i’m so excited to explore more about our babies with you bc look how far they’ve come :///  WE ALSO NEED TO WORK ON OUR PLOT IDEAS LIKE :////
@wharferat     —–     again sam is another person i could write pages of positivity for :////  guess we’ll start at the beginning  !!  i’m still somewhat shocked that YOU actually write with ME  ????  you’re absolutely phenomenal in everything that you do  ??  like i remember way back when,  when i first joined the fandom…  i was legit,  not even lowkey,  stalking your blog  !!  i was so scared to approach you bc wow,  your talent is both breathtaking and overwhelming  ??  but then i think you liked for a starter and then LIKED FOR TEN MORE  ??  and like wow,  i felt so lucky and honoured to write with you  ??  i still do,  every time you want to write a new thread with me  /  send in a meme  /  like for a starter  !!  i’m just so blessed  ??  and now look at us  !!  i feel so comfortable around you,  i’m sure it’s pretty obvious by now,  since i send you  A LOT  of nonsense and hit you up whenever i have an idea for our babies…  (  still feel like i’m a bit too much so you should lemme know if it gets exhausting yeah !!  )  i’m so happy to have you as both a friend and a writing partner,  i honestly can’t imagine this blog without you  ???  you’re my main harry and that’ll never cease to change  !!  your headcanons for him are beyond enjoyable and i cherish them as much as i cherish you  !!  you are an absolute delight to talk to,  so caring and passionate ??  i feel so honoured to have you in my life and thank you for putting up with me and my nonsense and my love for huma  !!  i hope we get the chance to explore so much more about huma and their dynamics bc gushiddubsi we deserve it  !!  i really appreciate you putting up with me and i hope you continue to do it alwayssss !! i love you so much and know you deserve the absolute world  !!  you’re such an inspiration and talent  !!! I LOVE YOU !!!
@kimpossibl     —–     ahh selena  !!  i actually remember the day i first spoke to you as if it happened just yesterday and that’s bc you happened to be the first person to actually reach out and want to plot with me  ???  which i am  SO  THANKFUL for  !!  you also encouraged me to watch kim possible and i’m so glad you did because when i finally watched it  !!!!  i was in love okay  !!!  even tho i hadn’t watched kim possible before following you,  i was super interested in writing with you bc even tho i didn’t know what you were writing about  ???  your writing still drew me in and i’m still SO IN AWE OF IT TO THIS DAY  !!  i really hope we get the chance to explore our muses’ relationship a lot more bc i truly believe their dynamic is something worth exploring,  like they’re so different but at the same time so alike  ??  and i love that for them  !!  but also i hope we get the chance to explore other relationships with all of your muses bc you’re an absolute talent and every muse you writing whether it be a canon muse or an oc,  you bring to life so effortlessly  ??  you really do inspire me to become a better writer :’)))  i’m honestly so thankful for you,  for reaching out,  for being so kind and supportive,  for everything  ??  and i really hope we remain friends for a long time bc you’re such a delight and i cannot imagine us ever not being friends ??  i’m so honoured and blessed to call you a friend and a writing partner and i just want you to know that you deserve the world  !!  you’re absolutely phenomenal and you have such a beautiful and kind heart  !!  I LOVE YOU SO MUCH  !!! 
@isleqveen     —–     okay a.j. you’ve been going through it this week and i just want you to know that i’ll always be here for you okay  !!  you’re an absolute joy to talk to and such an inspiration to me  !!  like the way you write uma and have all these wonderfully unique plots and dynamics for her,  it’s just so breathtaking  ??  i thoroughly enjoy your idea of her remaining queen of the isle bc it’s truly what she deserves right  ??  like i remember when we first started following each other…  you instantly jumped into my ims and we gushed about uma for HOURS  ???  and then we gushed some more about her on discord and that where we blossomed into something great  !!  we thought of our twin verse,  came up with some pretty silly but quality headcanons for the both of them  ??  i mean to this day our twin verse is something i’m so incredibly proud of bc it’s literally so much fun to explore and i can’t imagine doing it with anyone but you  ??  i’m so thankful that you reached out to be because now i get to call you a friend and someone i hope will be in my life for a VERY LONG TIME  !!  you’re absolutely phenomenal a.j. and i never want you thinking otherwise,  okay  ??  from the second i followed you,  you’ve inspired me to become a better writer and i want to thank you for that,  from the bottom of my heart  !!  i’m so blessed to call you a friend and i hope we continue to grow  !!  thank you for all of your kindness and support,  it’s meant the world to me  !!  you mean the world to me  !!  I REALLY DO LOVE YOU SO MUCH  !! 
@greektides     —–     celine  !!  i could tag all of your blogs here but i literally cannot be bothered :////  you’re so wonderful oh my gosh  ??  like when i first followed you,  i remember being in complete awe of you  (  don’t worry,  i still am :’)))  )  just bc of how much passion and thought you put into percy  ??  like even before we started writing together i could tell with every thread that you wrote that you had this immense amount of love for him  ??  you still do  !!  but now i see it with every character that you write and it’s so beautiful honestly  ??  i honestly don’t know how you keep up with all of your blogs or how you write each and every one of them so flawlessly but i’m truly in awe and every day i see you grace my dash is another day you inspire me to be better :’)))  not only have we made a pretty great dynamic for uma and percy,  we’ve done the same with uma and ariel and i love them both SO FREAKING MUCH  ??  almost as much as i love you  ??  i’m so thankful for you celine,  you’re so kind and supportive and i feel so comfortable around you like ?? i can literally jump into your ims about anything and everything and not even feel the slightest twinge of discomfort  !!  you’re such a talented and gifted person and have an extremely beautiful soul  !!  i’m so honoured and blessed to have you as a friend and a writing partner and i hope we continue to blossom as our character continue  !!  i’m so lucky to have you in my life and i never want there to be a day in which i don’t  :’)))  I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I’M HONESTLY SO THANKFUL FOR YOU  !!!  
@evielette     —–     shannon  !!!  i still remember the day we first started talking,  we came up with this insanely amazing plot idea that we’re still rolling with ‘til this day  !!  i still feel so blessed and honoured that you reached out to me and actually wanted to plot with me bc  ???  you’re an absolute talent and even though we don’t talk too much,  i feel like i can come to you about our girls and plot ideas at anytime and you’ll be happy enough to listen  !!!  :’)))  i’m so thankful that you still want to write with me,  not only on evie but on most of your blogs  !!  not only do you write evie beautifully,  you write every muse you have beautifully and with zero effort  !!  it’s truly inspiring  !!  also the love and passion you put into every character that you write is truly beautiful and i’ll admire that forever  !!  i just want you to know that if you ever have a plot idea or just wanna gush about our babies to hit me up  !!  also if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or just someone to talk to you better hit me up  !!  i’m always here for you and i’m so happy to have you as a writing partner  !!  you bring so much light to my dash and you’re truly such a kind-hearted soul  !!  I’LL LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU FOREVER,  REMEMBER THAT !!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH !!!! 
@livevl     —–     finishing this with the one and only astra  !!  the actual love of my life  !!  i remember the first day i started following you…  i was in awe,  you captivated me  !!  the way you capture mal’s mannerisms and essence in every piece of writing you do is beyond me and still has me questioning if you’re ACTUALLY A REAL PERSON  ??  but hey,  i guess you are  !!  :///  i’m so thankful that you followed me and actually wanted to write with me because look at us now  ??  we have a few threads on the go,  a million incoming and i can’t imagine a day that’ll pass in which we don’t reach out to tell one and other how much we love the other  ??  like even tho we only really started talking a week or so ago,  it feels like i’ve known you my whole life  ??  i can literally go to you about anything and everything and i’ll feel zero discomfort  !!  like honestly,  i can’t tell you how much i love and appreciate you because words just don’t cut it  !!  you’re such a radiating light and i wish i could be as bright as you  !!!  you’re such a beautiful soul and i still don’t know what i’ve done to deserve you but i’m BEYOND THANKFUL i have you :’)))  like oh my gosh,  i don’t want to sound like i’m repeating myself bc we literally throw positivity at each other on the daily ://// but you’re a true inspiration to me,  you don’t only inspire me to become a better writer but a better human being too…  ik you’re going to tell me that’s impossible bc i’m already a better human being but that’s a lie :/// you’re the better human being  :’))) also gotta appreciate the fact that we’re always fighting over who loves who more,  who means more to who,  etc etc.  okay but honestly i’m so thankful to call you a friend,  like a REALLY CLOSE friend as well as a writing partner !!  and i can’t imagine and won’t imagine a life without you in it  !!  when you go on your cruise it’s going to be torture bc i’ll miss you so much ?? but you’ll always be in my thoughts and i’ll be looking forward to the day you return !! YOU MEAN THE ABSOLUTE WORLD TO ME AND I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY BEING  !!!
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queencryo · 5 years
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@silly-go-round is asleep right now.
i guess i should make a journal for the past few days. as good a time as any. as AMY. heh. cuz shes super good and amazing. heh.
uh...... lessee.... for the two days after the last journal i just. hung out at the house while silly worked. i managed to not keep her in bed and make her late the second day. hung out a lot, watched more adventure time, worked on my tumblr filter script (lie. i judt ran it on my main. 200 posts / day is a bitchhhh) , played a good amount of ds3 (to pointof tetris effect at a couple points the nexg few days)
also did some like. helpful tasks. washed some dishes (undone quicklu, but. eh). not enough, mot as much as i shouldve, but... i tried i guess.
alao we've like. said the same thing at the dame time a Lot while ive been here and its like. nice. its really nice. same wavelength! i feel so close go her.
oh! alxo night before last we went grocery shoping. got food for prolly enoygh for the two weeks, but i guess we'll see. also a cheesecake! it was.... echausting. hily fuck it was exhaysting. jesus. the store was big and it took like 3 hours and $200 to get everything but. we did itttt.
we both mentionef that like. it felt nice to like. have a full fridge 2gether. cuz. it feels like were gonna have a futjre togetjer? u know. like that is. i love her a lot and it feels good for this to feel like a home for a little while. we hope that it can be so in tbe future.
so YESTERDAY she finally FINALLY taught me how to play magic the gathering. it was. a long time coming. but she brought me into the store and like. sat me down w some regulars and had me play commander. i played moooostly her snake deck, so like.that was fun!! i kept talki g about how i woulda gotten lorescale Coatl up to 39/39 and flying, had i like. gotten q more turn. but on that game D was running a mill deck that was. extremely long to play (that game took like ~>2 hours ugh), and was very bery annoying, so i didnt get to actually do that.
but it was fun! part of me wants to blog everything, but i dont think i will.
im glad to be able to use silly's decks, bc i dont think i want to make my own. im considering making a cheap angel deck or smth, but we'll see if yhat actually ends up happening.
i also met her girlfriend Iz, who is sweet. i played magic w her fkr a while, which was fun! she was runni g an annoying mono black deck (i kkow all these... these Terms and Words now, its incredible...)
shes sweet and i think i like her. dunno if enough to date yet (which makes me Partially regret flirting w her so much in the groupchat but. hey)
talked w her some, mostly about magic, hung out while silly closed the store, pet her cat, silly discovered that cyddling w TWO girlfriends is very nice (not rhat id know ;;;;;;;), was good times. i dont think im as comfy w izzy physically yet as i may have implied in messages, which hopefully wull be rectified by the message i just sent her (my initial physical comfort with people varies, it depends very much on the person)
skip forward, me and silly make a pizza at home cuz were fuckin tired, she admonishes me for not eating for uh... like 11 hours or smth (that mornings bagel was VERY good tho omg), but adderall, so like... meh.
uh... i dont think anything else on yesterday...
today! we waaamted to go to the store at like. 2. but in actuality got there at like! 330.
i went back to sleep cuz im a losenerd, and she. made this breakfast casserole thing. which hse put into a bagel abd brought to me bc i guess shes the best person on the entire earth oh my GOD. jesus
skip... apparently she knows maximum the hormone and doesnt like them very much... fair fair. (cause for xeath)
came to the store agai. tofay. it was fun and good. iz didnt come in today, do played some more with regulars. played w what is apparently called a blink deck, which revolvea arounf exiling cards then immediately bringing them back, to capitalize on "when this enters battlefield, do smth" cards. neat!
i DID actually manage to win today!!! the victory was. literally handed to me, but like. thats fine! i was playing silly's uhhh... elintor the masked? idr her name :( the mask planewalker! deck, which. i had SO much land, most of wh8ch was enchanfed. meaning it could be tapped then untapped w eljntor's thing, then tapped again for DOUBLE MANA. i mean. i had like 9/turn even b4 that but. BUT. i also had. i think i drew 3 creatures total. bit anyway. i had the white card that gave me a life whenever a creature was put on tge board (and also, w another enchantment, made all non-me creagurss and enchantments enter the board tapped, so. nya). so... rob had a card what dealt one damGe to all other players whenevr he puta. creature on the board. then he played united forces, which lets each player commit X mana to create X 1/1 soldier tokens on all players' boards. so. we made 28 white soldier tokens on everyones board. this killed perry, ans gave me, uh. 56 life (84 - 28). i then attacked ron for 28 w the soldiers, and drew sacred mesa, which lets me sacrifice 2 mana (1 any color, 1 white, but i had so many cards that said "this land can instead be tapped for 2 of any color, so like. ueah) to create a 1/1 flying pegasus token. so i. ended the game w 44 white 1/1 tokens. goblins get fucked.attack w my ssoldiers cuz his were tapped, so brought him down to 7 life. i didng catch what he did w the enchantment, but i think he said he like. put a copy of every creature on my side of the board onto his board, and then. cipying that enchantment 3 times. so. holy FUCK. wow. BUT those all came in tapped and i had 18 flying yokens, so. i still won! yay!!!! i won a game of magic!!!!!
goblin decks scare me. stop running krenko you fucks. exponential goblins goddamn
silly would come by every so often and like. look over my dhoulder and say "oh that was dumb whyd u use fabricate for thay" which is fair. but also god i love her. (i used fabricate for a mana generator insteaf of lightning greaves. whateverrrr) i love her so much dear god. i wish i coukd help w the store more, but. on the same time i also. dont enjoy working. so. maybe part time.
hm. what ekse. oh yeah i kove her so much.
by the end of the night it was just. me and her, rob and the two regulars i started out llaying w yestwrday. theyre sweet, i like them. theyre married. the dude calls me honey smtimes, which is. kinda weird? dunno how i feel about that. i guess fine. its gender-nice, but still a lil uncomfy. otherwise i like em fien, though. but they talked abouy moving into sillys apt. so thats cool!! better than her current (awful, terrible, lazy / horrifically depressed / manchild roomate, who doesnt clean ever) roomate. i was reading the monster of the week gamebook thruout, which i... bought, for some reason. idk. oh also i wanna make a fallen angel divine, because im... predictableeee. also a conspiracy thworist whos just a trans woman w way too much time and really weird hobbies (throwing knices, butterfly knife, net friends, etc). also a spooky. i speny like. 3 hours reading thr7 the monster of the week book while ppl played magic around me. i kinda wish i hadnt bought it, but hey! its neat c:
oh, also i didnt take adderall today. i dont think it went toooo bad, i think i like. was meaner and less thohghtful with what i said, but like. i guess thats better than feared. i took a caffeine pill (200mg) at ariund 10 which is. prolly why im wide awake right now. i regret doing that, sincr from what shes said tmos gonna be big)
she says we gotta be at her moms by 4, for reasons she WONT TELL ME. bit she says its part of one of her plans, i ASSUME the romantic one? im kind of afraid that ill like. no-sell it unwillingly because im abroke and soulless human being, but uh. i guess rhats thw risks we take to be alive :shrug: im excited. were also going to a shop (diff one) tmo, which im Quite excited for, as ive only been in similar shops by accident before. also doing laundry!!! which is important ^_^
oh ysah. so we got white castle on the way home. its. yeah she was r8ght. mediocre-at-best sliders. onions are bad.
we also made a pizza. whifh i ate most of. i overate. sob.
she fell asleep halfway thry an episode of nailed it. cant blame her, she seemed really tired. i hipe i dont disturb her rwst. and i feel so utterly blessed thay i can be around her.
ih!! i also fell down the last few staies ywstersay. bruised my arms, but otherwise fine. it was. idk, it is nice to knoe that others worry fir me and like me. she was very concerned. i love her.
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franeridart · 6 years
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Hi! Idk if you read fanfic, but would you happen to have any kiribaku fic recs? Or any bnha fic rec?
I’m pretty sure there’s stuff tagged as fic recs on this blog, yes! Nothing particularly new tho, I haven’t had the time to put down a new rec-list in a while ;-;
Anon said:How long does it take you to finish a drawing with and without color?
That honestly depends on a lot of factors - which tools I’m using, how many characters there are in the drawing/if it’s full body or not, how used to drawing the character I am, how big is the canvas, if I already have a clear idea of what I mean to draw or not, how precise I want to be with lines and stuff. 
That Yuuto sketch I posted yesterday took me about 40 minutes I think, and over half of it was spent trying to figure out how I was supposed to draw him since it was the first time I drew him - the tools I used are the ones I use when I want to be fast and don’t care about being sloppy. A small random Kirishima bust properly lined and colored could take me five minutes to sketch and line and as many to color on a good day, cause I’ve drawn him so many times by now I don’t even have to think to draw him. Deku, on the other hand, can take me an hour even just to sketch, I can’t seem to grasp how I’m supposed to draw him at all.
Sorry, it really depends on a lot of things, I can’t give a proper answer to this :(
Anon said:Ive been tryin to find ur art of sero carrying baku for like 20 minutes n i cant find it :(
Are you talking about this one? Or this one? There’s also this one I guess...? And maybe this one lol 
Anon said:yoooo, hey man, that cat kiribaku thing ya got going on is some 👌👌👌👌👌
HECK THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:Has anyone ever considered Hadmie. Hadou x Camie before?? It just seems like it'd be a cute ship to sail with, tbh. That just might be me tho.
I dunno if anyone has before you, but I can’t say I have, sorry! If I gotta ship Nejire with someone after all it’s gonna be Yuyu haha
Anon said:Hey do you do commissions? I really love your art and I'd love to get a commission from you!! (and also I just wanna know if there's yet another thing that I have to save up for XD)
Not right now, sorry! Maybe after I’m done with the zine things!!
Anon said:*runs around like an excited puppy* DAVEDAVEDAVEDAVEDAVEDAVEDAVE!!!!!!! :D
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Anon said:AHHH i love your ocs so much also Nico looks so cute and i love learning new things about them
AAAHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY G O D!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:KIRI + PINEAPPLE PONYTAIL = THE BEST THING EVER
I’M GLAD WE AGREE ON THAT
Anon said:your oc's literally kill me!! i already love nico, and i think i speak for everyone when i say that we definitely want more of him and luca!! i don't know if it's just me, but I love when the angry, swearing types fall for someone.
SOB thank you so so much for the kind words about my kids ;^;
Anon said:OH MY GOD LUCA IS BACK!!!! YESSSSSSSS FUCKING KILL ME THIS IS A BLESSED DAY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. MORE OF YOUR OC'S!!! (only when you want to share of course, I'm just trying to convey my enthusiasm here. not demanding at all ^^)
I think that might happen soon enough, actually!!!! Thank you so much for the interest in them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:Are josh and chris still not dating?
Sadly until I’ll sit down to write their story that specific part of it won’t go anywhere :( Chris gotta deal with a bunch of things before he’ll be ready to put a name to what’s between him and Josh 3 one day I’ll let him work through it !!!
Anon said:I'm so paranoid I'm going to repost one of your post by accident but the thing is is I never even repost anything at all but just because I know you don't want them to be I'm so scared that by accident I'm going to have something screenshotted and forget it's yours and like Ugh😂
Well, my name’s written on all my drawing so I doubt you’ll forget it’s my stuff lol to make sure you’re not reposting anything the author doesn’t want reposted you can always just ask before reposting it, tho~
Anon said:I was just scrolling through your OC stuff and I just. Love them so much. Thank you for the babies ❤
GOD THANK YOU ;O;
Anon said:Okay I've never seen your oc's before and Dave is the cutest green boy I love him
AAAAHHHHHH I’M GLAD!!!!!
Anon said:kamijirou getting together? :3 also if there were ever a scenario where jirou would confess first, what do you think she would be thinking?
I actually have half a thing planned for that :0 gimme a while to get around to drawing it!
Anon said:How do you feel imagine kiri’s parents???
Actually since I’m still hoping one day Hori will give us the official versions I try not to think too much about it! I don’t wanna grow attached just to have to give them up once I’ll have the canon versions haha
Anon said:hey quick innocent question ive been following for a long time and saw a lot of your art do you have a thing for feet
Are you asking because I draw a lot of people barefoot? Feet are just easier and faster to draw than shoes, anon
Anon said:I love how you answer asks all at once. It’s nice to see that you’re getting in bulk appreciation
THANKS I honestly just don’t want my blog to be more asks than art, so I let them pile up before answering - it does mean I make people wait a lot for answers tho orz sorry
Anon said:I LOVE YOUR ART
THANK YOU!!!!
Anon said:You've open a sea of possibilities with red pineapple kirishima. You're a legend :prayeremoji:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wouldn’t call myself that but I’m glad you appreciate him too hahaha
Anon said:i cant help but notice nothings been added to your sero tag in 4 months
That might be because I rarely use single characters tags! Try looking under #bakusquad and #seromina :D
Anon said:Hahaaa hi this is probably really really awkward but I just wanted you to let you know that you're super awesome!! And the fact that your art is something that I can look forward to is absolutely amazing (no pressure tho)!!! So yea, thank you for being cool and creating beautiful art~~ :D ✧✧✧
SOB it’s not awkward at all!!!! thank you SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:Would you mind adding some more Tokoyami art to your shop? More specifically the pieces where hes hanging out with Kiri, and the Tokoshoji piece :D Im desperate to bury my notebooks in stickers from your shop rn and the bird boy needs more love ❤
AHW I’m sorry anon, but those are definitely too small to be of any use on the shop ;-; if you’re okay with it I could add the last one I posted? I should seriously draw more of him..................
Anon said:That jacket that Kirishima has on...I NEED!
I drew it and that’s still a mood t b h
Anon said:I went so far back in your blog that it kicked me back to the beginning ;-; I was just getting to the D. Greyman stuff too
AW ;-; (..........it’s good tho, the further you go the least worth it my stuff is l m a o)
Anon said:Do you ever draw kiribaku or something else in paper or some kind of sketch book if you do i would love to see them❤(sorry if my english is bad)
I do have some doodles on paper posted on here somewhere? But tbh I rarely draw traditionally anymore unless it’s just random doodles :(
Anon said:Aahhh!!! I really love your kiribaku shit its so cute!!and you draw so goood too literally when i found this ship i instantly found you and you are so perfect in my eyes and your art!!!!! I looooooovvvvvvveeeeee yoooouuuuuu thank you for being here and showing us this stuff!!❤❤❤❤
HECK thank you!!!!!!!!!!!
Anon said:i adore your art so much and your bakushima comics make me smile a lot! :) you’re one of my favorite artists now dldksjshskdk
tHANK YOU OH MY G OD ;^;
Anon said:Consider this: fantasy Kirishima meeting normal bakugou, thinking that's his Katsuki 😂😂
.........................you literally got no clue how long I’ve been thinkin about drawing this............ he ck
Anon said:Your drawings give me life 😍❤️
sob thank you so so so much ;-;
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shuicheese · 6 years
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Okay so- It’s going to be a new year real soon. And I haven’t done anything for my pals during Christmas and I really, really wanted to do something to show how thankful I am towards my friends. So here’s a small ‘follow-forever’ thingie! ^^
I will put them under read more since it’s a long list hehe. This isn’t in any order, btw, I appreciate all of you and if I somehow, somehow, forgot to add you then- Im so sorry! ;;;
__
@diligencekit - We’ve been pals for a reaallly long time now, and I really enjoy your company, bro! I consider you a really close friend of mine and a broski. ^^ You’re possibly my first close pal on the net, and I’m glad that we’re still buddies! Your art has always been a huge inspo to me and it’s probably the main reason to why I got a drawing tablet. qwq; 
@valskya - Another close net pal/broski! I’m happy that we’re close friends and we started talking again! You and Jen always seem to make me really happy, your art has also been an inspo to me and I’m always happy to see your art! You also got me into Juuni Taisen which honestly made me really happy, we had lots of fun watching the episodes and such! You’re also another really close friend of mine, and a broski as well! I’m just really happy we started to talk to each other again~
@zingospinning - I completely adore you. I really don’t know where to start with this- Okay, so when I first saw you in school, I instantly wanted to befriend you. But I was so god damn nervous because I wanted to impress you and such,  but then we became friends in an after-school club and that was both the best thing and the most nervous thing because I still really wanted to impress you. Looking back at it, I sort of find it amusing. I think when I befriended you, I started to become slightly more social with others and had a bit more friends? I only had one friend and if I haven’t met you, then holy shit where would I be now? You’re funny, a huge sweetheart to me, and I enjoy your company so much! I wish I can see you every day in school again but ey, I do hope you’re doing well and I love you! You also introduced me to many things, such as BNHA, Teen Titans, etc etc. Thank you so much for the great stuff in life, Zingo! <33
@hasikon - Where do I begin. Okay, fIRST OF ALL! Thank you for making sure I was doing well this month, and thank you for everything too. You have wonderful OC’s and a wonderful humor, and whenever we have a Skype call, it honestly makes me laugh and it’s so chill. Playing games with you is so fun, even though I may have ‘ruin’ the experience for ya. xp Btw we need to play TableTop Simulator sometime again hoho. 
@nikolas-is-gay - BROTHER!! Nikolas is my sweet n satanic baby brother!! I love him so much and I’m so glad we started talking! Has a great humor, I adore his OC’s, and his creativity! We hurt each other on a daily basis by talking about angst about our OC’s and we love it. Honestly, I don’t know what I would do without him, he’s there to cheer me up whenever I’m feeling down and the things he says always seem to make me laugh and/or smile. It’s nice to have him around tbh~
@maginpui - Oh gosh- My sweet and adorable P.Wife! She’s so adorable and I honestly love, looove her humor! She never fails to make me laugh and I also really appreciate her kindness! I’m so sorry that I never really got the chance to properly talk to you in school though,,, But I do hope the gifts I got you are fine! And I love you so much, I hope you’re well, P.Wife! I also returned all of the gifts you gave me- I love them all so so much and I am extremely sentimental of em! Especially the Pusheen gifts!
@dettouo - East or West, Dett is the best! I really need to start talking to you again! You’re such a sweetheart and you’re adorable! I really enjoy talking to you and you seem really fun to talk to! I do hope you’re well too~ Honestly just talking to her makes me feel really happy.
@turtleofrage & @killualluka99  - AH YES, THE BUNDLE I GOT WHEN BEFRIENDING ZINGAY! Also a great birthday gift, considering I met them on my 16th birthday? These are my adopted children, I love them both so much! Seeing them whenever I visit Zingo makes me happy! I love their humor and I also enjoy their memes and company~
@dylanhack - Another old pal of mine, and an older brother! We haven’t been talking a lot lately but I really want to change that. You’re really fun to talk to and I was looking back at my old posts yesterday, and I honestly really miss you heh,, I do hope we can talk again! Because you’re a really fun buddy and I enjoy your company!
@philosopher-rachel-wolf - I’ve known Rachel since...I guess 2013? But we’ve properly started talking in early 2014 and ever since then, I wanted to improve myself because inspired me so much! You’re probably the main and only reason to why I write better now, and still roleplay in the RP community. Well I mean- I try to roleplay but writers' block,,,heh h-- But I’m not kidding when I say your writing has influenced me. I’m so happy that we became friends and I’m even more happier that we still are! You always have that jolly personality that really makes me smile ^^ And your art! Where do I begin- you always seem to be improving it , and I’m always so happy to see your improvement. It’s seriously makes me smile too- I love it! Keep up the wonderful work, Rachel! <33
@chibinel - Listen-- We got ‘banned’ in a Cuphead server for confessing out love for Beppi the clown, we have a role called “EXTRA BANNED” because of it. I’m proud of myself- Okay but jokes aside, I love Gaster! I love their art so much, it’s so adorable and it’s just- it’s really good! They’re nice to talk to and I’m glad we got along well! ^^
@valf-xx - Listen- Valf is a huge sweetheart when I first met her. I really love her Dangan Ronpa imagines blog ( @komaedas-trash cHECK IT OUT BLEASE-- ) and I love talking to her! I like screeching about Eraserhead with her and I also love her art~ She’s just- She makes me feel so calm, I really appreciate that !
@puddingskitty - Fun and adorable buddy! I enjoy seeing her art and seeing her on my dashboard in general. I love her Toy Bonnie’s design, and whenever I see a rabbit, I can’t help but get reminded of her~ Honestly I enjoy her company even though I was quiet for sometime- And you’re probably the first person who drew my OC, Zerum, as a small gift and I still really appreciate it! Thank you! 
@kamukuraprojects - Another buddy I consider a brother!! Listen- his cosplaying is so?? It’s so beautiful?? I love it so so much! You’re a gorgeous boy and I simply adore your generosity, I do hope things are gonna be better for you since I heard you’re having a bit of a hard time I think? But I hope you’ll have a great and wonderful new year and hope that next year will be better for you! ^^
@imperial-dork - My spirit animal. Literally my spirit animal- his humor is honestly my favourite and I look up to this man even though a certain goat told me not to. Either way, I think Magnus is a cool dood, and I enjoy hearing about the wacky things he’s done~
@fluzeh - I love Lazy’s art so so soooooooo much! I want to draw just like her one day! She’s so sweet and I love to mess around with her~ I also enjoy watching stuff with her- we watched the MLP movie on rabbit and honestly it was a nice experience~ I love it! I hope we can do more things like that! She’s also the person who designed my main fursona, honestly I just- I adore my sona so much because it’s from you, and I will forever treasure it!Thank you so so much again for the design! <33
Okay I’m one tired idiot atm but I just want to say that for those I haven’t wrote a small description thingie for, please try not to get upset! I’m sorry in advance that I couldn’t say something for you, but I hope you all are alright with this!!
Here are some people that I enjoy talking to/admire and/or people I would love to talk to/get to know better!
@ciel-beehive, @pikabrightheart, @plantsarehardcore, @frizzbutt, @his-pall-mugman, @rottenmilkyarts, @tvvy, @darkshadowsnake, @garnetarmstrong,  @flareon, @raphadelialovesyou, @cheinsaw, @official-akamatsu, @crowstainedred, @ryoumahoshi, @ellsworld, @korekiyo--shinguuji, @btal, @infinitypixel, @askmoonburst, @ask-evil-rainbow-dash, @zyrdrake, @radhalla, @rubberhoseartist, @wolfex126, @miss-bribri, @ladykailolu, @rosealinathefox, @rexieh, @johntheslothblog, and @spacescarf
That being said, I hope all of you had a great year, and if it wasn’t a great year, then I hope next year will be better for all of you! 
I love you all, thank you so much for everything, and have a happy new year!! <33
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marsawaitz-blog · 6 years
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HEART BREAK EPISODES (Intro/Childhood heartbreaks)
There’s many times in life our heart breaks, sometimes it’s disappointments in ourselves, our failures and some are relationships. I can’t honestly remember the very first time my heart broke. Was it the time my first valentine declined my card (ill talk about him later)? Or maybe the first time I moved as a kid? I can’t remember. Even though they all had an impact on me and all hurt one way or another it isn’t clear which so instead i figured I write journal entries on my first experiences of different kinds of heartbreaks. So here it goes.
CHILDHOOD HEARTBREAKS
“I honestly wish I was a kid again”, “kids have it great”, “what could be your biggest worry as a kid?” are all phrases you hear everyday. I don’t get it though what’s so great about being a kid? Do people really have pain-free childhoods? I’m only 18, i guess technically i’m a kid too but not for long. I’ve honestly never found the point of being a kid again, i’m so glad I don’t have to go back. Besides the obvious 13yr old tragic memories, even as a kid life wasn’t easy. Sure I didn’t have to pay bills ( Rather work and pay then to deal with Society sometimes), I mean maybe back to when I was 3 or 5 since I don’t remember those memories, but I remember being 10 as if it was yesterday. I was a small, didn’t even grow tall yet. I was so young, how could I have already experienced heartbreak? Well it doesn’t take much heart or years to be honest. As soon as puberty starts hitting like the plague, it’s like all innocence is ripped away, the filter that keeps our small minds so clean is starting to fade. Everyone around me was getting taller, more grown, some even already had deeper voices, and then there was me. 10 year old girl with messy ponytail in the gap shirts. I wasn’t growing tall, I wasn’t getting my period like some people, nor did I start wearing small Bras girls wore. Heck some girls were even wearing mascara and lipstick already! I’ll tell you what I did get, hairier, yeah go ahead laugh now it’s funny now but it wasn’t then. I was already an easy target for being chubby and messy haired. I was beginning to grow hair on my arms a lot and my legs. I felt so ew but my mom swore it was normal and that it’s okay. I didn’t see it as so wrong either but I guess for others it was abnormal. I always wore pants and jackets to school to hide how chubby I was, but one day my mom  got sick of my outfits and demanded I go to school in shorts and a short sleeve shirt. “It’s too hot outside for you to look like that.” Even mad uncomfortable i still went to school, anything to make my mom happy. Little would I knew this would be the day I learned how cruel the world gets. As soon as people saw me the whispered to each other. My first day in this new elementary was not so great (oh I didn’t mention this was my first time in Eagle Nest Elementary). I was introduced to the class and took a seat in the back. I wasn’t pessimistic naturally before. I sat next to a girl I said Hi and she raised her eyebrows and looked away. It’s lunch time and I had made no friends, regardless all the times I said Hi to people just to receive giggles or be ignored. Recess came and I sat at the swing by myself. No one wanted to be my friend....but why? was I really that hard to want to get to know? What was wrong with me? Someone has to want to be my friend right? A little girl finally approached me she sat next to me on the swing i smiled at her no matter how hard it was to act like I wasn’t a little sad. She looked at me and then back at some little girls standing a few feet away giggling. She was trying not to laugh and she asked me if i knew what a razor was, why are my legs so hairy? she bust out laughing and the other girls did too. A little boy just feet away kept laughing saying my dad was probably chewbacca. I tried to laugh with them maybe this was just a harsh joke. “we’re laughing at you not with you dummy” he said. I tried to act like I didn’t care but I remember my heart dropping. Why were they  so cruel to me?.. I never had really noticed my legs like that nor my arms. I thought i was normal. In class people started to whisper jokes, pass notes some even drew me pics of a chewbacca looking creature and left them on my desk. It was everywhere and everyone knew. I wore pants the next day but it only got worse. I had never seen myself like that. I know i didn’t have princess perfect hair but I didn’t see myself as so ugly. School was becoming torture to attend. I remember I began crying in the bathroom during lunch instead of facing the kids teasing in the cafeteria. I had for the first time learned to hate myself, to hate other kids. I begged my mom to let me shave but she said not till im 13. I wore pants but nothing satisfied them. I was forever labelled as an outcast. It’s crazy how so young I began to un-love myself. My parents had always told me im beautiful, or taught me to love and now I was losing it. I remember sitting in that damn bathroom stall trying to be as silent as could crying. God forbid someone heard me. I was shaking standing on top of the toilet seat waiting for the bell that meant I had survived halfway through this shitty place. I was literally that girl you see in movies that you pity. That shit u see on screens really does happen. Here I was first hand experiencing it. My heart was breaking every day a little more with everyone’s word, but the most painful thing was knowing I believed them...I learned to not love even the small things about me because of someone else. I loved learning but now hated school. I couldn’t even ask my parents for help or they’d just say ignore it...this was the beginning to not just not liking myself but also to realizing the world wasn’t as kind as I thought, and I didn’t think I was going to not love life anymore. But this was the beginning also the beginning to the hatred in my heart that caused my depression, that later would come to much worse side effects.
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survivorwesteros · 7 years
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Episode 7: I feel personally victimized - Luke
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why are they abaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
also steffen or drew will win this season bookmark this.
I can't Beloeve
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So glad to be back in the game! The amount of shock in the chat was awesome! Hahah I'm just glad I didn't get eliminated without receiving a single vote. Although I know I'll get one now!
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First of all I feel personally victimized by the hosts for allowing people to come back. Next I feel personally victimized because Darian came back and he has reason to target me!!! Going forward I'm trusting Drew the most because I love him so much :) Ashley, Steffen and Jordan are also strong allies of mine. I want to target Darian next and then I want either Brian, Lily or Andrew out. Jordan should leave fairly soon too because he's a big threat and that means betraying him but I need to do what I need to do to win.
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So I got some kick ass items at auction today. I got a Wildfire, which can reset a round and make all of our challenge results null so we have to do them over. I also got a ride on a dragon thanks to Steffen, even though we don't know about it yet. He got to choose two others to take with him and chose Drew and I, which I really awesome because I am starting to like Steffen a lot. Hopefully we can get closer in the upcoming days. I also got a turkey leg, which gives me an advantage in a challenge up to final five, so that is pretty chill too.
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Darian and Lily coming back????? UGLY!!!! KEEP THEM!!!!!!!! But also like I'm rebelling more against the fact of HAVING two people come back than the reality of who they are. If two people were going to come back, they’re DECENT choices because at least they both like me? But they come with their own vendettas against other people I like and it’s a PROBLEMMMMMMM. Darian coming back means the tension between him and Luke is gonna come to a head sooner rather than later. And Lily wants to take out both Andrew and Steffen QUICK because of reasons. Meanwhile WHAT EXACTLY HAS MY ASS BEEN DOING???? Aligning with almost every damn person in the game! Jordan specifically said “i feel like were aligned with too many people at this point. Like we need to actually get on a side” and my internal monologue is laughing because I think I’m connected to even more than he is because I’m with Steffen too???? 
1. Me Ashley Jordan Darian  2. Me Ashley Luke Steffen 3. Me Ashley Andrew  4. Me Ashley Andrew Luke Jordan 5. Me Jordan Lily 
I’m about one second away from starting one with Brian and Nic just for shits. And THEY’RE ALL FUCKING TARGETING EACH OTHER!!!! Luke and Steffen bonded on call over wanting Darian gone and have brought up Jordan’s name, Jordan and Lily want Steffen gone, Lily is PUSHING for Andrew to go and Jordan and I can only keep her at bay for so long, and LITERALLY NO ONE IS BRINGING UP BRIAN AND NIC TO GO like I’m about to upset a whole group of people really quickly. I think my best course of action right now, if Ashley would be open to it, would be to blindside Darian right the fuck back out. I need to convince Jordan that our five-person alliance (listed above as #4) is the most important thing in the world right now because it’s numbers after this vote. It’s also another alliance that I have with both Ashley and Jordan so if they’re on board for the Darian blindside, then we can do it without pissing anyone off. Except Darian but I mean whatever, it’s not like I have to see him at high school the next day (sorry Ashley!!!). And it keeps Luke happy, and I’m all about keeping Luke happy. And it might convince Brian and Nic that we’d go for Lily next and just cleanse the field, and honestly that’d be nice too. 
This is my dream boot list, at least for now (subject to like 18,000 revisions so like take it with the entire container of salt that for some reason is a current Snapchat filter with the Morton’s wig and umbrella) 
10th place: Darian, with the consent of Ashley and Jordan  9th place: Brian because whew comp strength  8th place: Steffen because I don’t know that I can hold Jordan and Lily off any longer on that one 7th place: Nic, to, in the words of Lord Voldemort, kill the spare 6th place: Andrew because he might not see it coming at that time? The kid has been to the Citadel so fucking much, I can’t 5th place and beyond I don’t fucking know yet??? That’s a really tough position to be in because everyone in that final five would potentially want to work to the end with me but they’re all also threats to win. Ashley has been a main co-conspirator since the very beginning for me, but walks in with at least Darian’s vote almost pre-destined. Jordan and I work well together and his reputation often works against him, but I honestly think this isn’t the jury that would hold that against him like Costa Rica did, and he would have Ben’s vote almost pre-destined. Lily’s story could go either way, in that she’d been voted out twice, she doesn’t deserve to win, or that she’s fought back in twice and made it to the end. Especially if people like Steffen and Jordan are on jury, that’s going to really resonate with them as people who have won buybacks and almost won with them before. Luke probably has the least amount of connections from that potential jury pool, but has a great story of being the only foreigner and needing to adapt to our schedules, staying up until 4-5am every night to participate with us when we’re at our most available. Steffen would really respond to that, having played seasons from Norway and understanding the struggle. Honestly I could end up with the worst case to present in any configuration of that five, but I’ll worry about that as we get closer because I think that’s the configuration that best LEADS to me getting to finals. I can argue my way through a lot of things, and if I lose, I lose, I’d be happy losing to any of them. This might be the strongest social game I’ve ever had?? Or I could be wildly delusional and other people have just as many chats with just as many leads and I don’t factor into anyone’s final plans. We’ll see, I guess
Pray for me, it’s gonna be a fucking bumpy ride. 
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So Steffen, Drew and I's dragon ride ended with me getting a vote revealer, Drew getting an advantage in a challenge of his choosing, and Steffen got a vote stealer. We all agreed to it and are now in a semi alliance. So this should be interesting.
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So I won immunity yay :) Sam got mad at me cause she spent a long time making that challenge and I beat it in 8 minutes so i felt bad and decided to make an actual confessional. Shocking right? Anyways even if I didnt have immunity I think Im in a good spot? like okay, so i have a lot of alliances. I have one with Andrew Drew Luke and Ashley, one with Drew Ashley and Darien, One with Lily and Drew and then i sort of have an alliance with Nic. Meaning I am not aligned with Steffen, meaning ideally Steffen goes. lily told me she has the power to take away someones immunity so thats good that thats on my side. Either way, things are good for Jordan. First confessional done, dont expect another
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me to jordan yesterday: lets vote out steffen lily to me today: i was thinking steffen for next tribal 
ok sooo i do think steffen is a big threat and could win but i feel bad about voting him out cause im not invested in this game and idk if he is but he could win so i feel guilty if i vote him out and stay over him r . i. o. p. in peace
well well wel......... this is perfect. darian came to me wanting to blindside a threat so i said drew and now he's doing all the work to get drew sent home :o i spoke to steffen abotu it and hes good and darians gonna try to get andrew/brian/ashley so hopefully that works. 
i have a really good feeling where this is the episode where my edit goes from INV to MOR3
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HONESTLYYYYYYYYYYY disregard the boot list, scrap it, move on from it, delete the confessional, it NEVER. HAPPENED.
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Lily has gone to Drew, Jordan, Darian and Ashley to try and get me out. Ashley and Darian came clean to me about it and now we’re sorting stuff out now.  darian thing lets him see a random alliance chat don’t like it. Lily is after me, then Brian, then Andrew. Drew has an idol from the citadel so now we’re strategizing. trying to spill that Luke wanted Brian gone. Lily has Drew and Jordan but only Jordan. Nic has to vote Drew. Drew might have to self vote Brian has to vote lily Andrew will vote lily Darian votes Drew Steffen votes lily Ashley votes lily Lily votes SteffenJordan votes Steffen Luke votes TBA 
so Luke came to me with Jordan tea about how now Jordan is voting me out well good job Lily I officially say you can choke now [17:46:00] Luke: So do we know what's happening yet? 
[17:46:08] Jordan (Westeros): no one is talking [17:46:19] Jordan (Westeros): if i didn’t have immunity id be freaking out [17:47:15] Luke: That's why I'm freaking out!! [17:47:23] Jordan (Westeros): i want to target steffen tbh [17:49:39] Luke: Oh wow really? You think that could work? [17:49:49] Jordan (Westeros): i think we could potentially get the voes [17:49:51] Jordan (Westeros): votes 
So screw you Lily, and Jordan next time you go behind my back, be a little more creative you little toad and as soon as Jordan tried to get me to vote out Andrew IM LIKE SURE but then sent those receipts to andrew also I might now have Luke voting out Lily 
[11/30/16, 6:42:48 PM] Brian: [2016-11-30, 11:38:39 AM] Brian: have you heard anything about the vote today? [2016-11-30, 12:19:23 PM] Lily Owen: Yeah, people are planning on Steffen [11/30/16, 6:42:59 PM] Steffen Bøhn: oh yeah [11/30/16, 6:42:59 PM] Brian: [2016-11-30, 6:42:13 PM] Brian: so idk [2016-11-30, 6:42:13 PM] Jordan Pines: no one has said it to me [2016-11-30, 6:42:17 PM] Jordan Pines: ive heard steffen so far [2016-11-30, 6:42:22 PM] Jordan Pines: and i think thats where I’m leaning
I GOT BRIAN SENDING ME SHIT NOW AW HELL YAS 
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So I am terrified for this upcoming tribal. Some shit is going to go down. After the auction there are so many items in this game that I can't even keep my head straight.
So Darian got approached by Lily, who said she wanted to get Steffen out. She had this whole hit list and whatnot, and stupidly told Darian a lot of crap. So basically he comes to me and tells me everything. So now we are working with Steffen to try and find a solution... Hopefully all of this stuff is true, because if not, who the hell knows who is leaving tonight.
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survivingjapan · 7 years
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EPISODE 7 "We're Just A Group Of Happy Campers" - Dom
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Is it bad that the reason I love this challenge is because of seeing the suffering its making people go through.......why am i a hero again
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Why is it final 20 but I feel like I've nearly made jury? hmmm? Anyways...I feel good with how I've played up to this point. Being 1 of 3 villains to never receive a vote certainly feels good.....but I still know I have eyes on me since I haven't exactly been SUPER subtle??? Granted, I totally thought they were going to blindside me in the Linus vote given my shady business in the Alex vote (I mean....I can't deny it, I was def shady) but they didn't! Although I would feel much better if I could somehow snag an idol....but I'm not sure how anyone could get one without an idol clue (that was likely received by pure luck...) so for now, I kinda just have to be vulnerable to a successful idol play by someone that hates me (aka Richie) But if Richie were smart, he'd be coming to people besides Tommy/Kage to rally votes against Kage (or maybe Junior?), but he hasn't yet, which makes me believe that either A) There's a group that doesn't have me in it B) Tommy has Richie controlled C) Richie just isn't smart Cuz right now, the only people I'd consider voting are Richie, Kage, and Junior.... here's to hoping I either master Japanese and scam this immunity or survive one last vote before the swap! VL Confessional: I used to think I was pitied upon for my flop of a social game but hey maybe I have one??? or not. i cant tell if these people just tolerate me or like me or are using me. fuck all of 'em. who knew a hero could survive on the villains tribe for so long???
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So it turns out both tribes are going to tribal, which means I actually have to start thinking about who to vote for........... LMAO JK I'VE BEEN PLANNING THE NEXT FOUR PEOPLE TO BE VOTING OUT OF OUR TRIBE SINCE WE FIRST VOTED OUT MIST! Ruthie, it's your turn sweetheart. After ranking all of the people I want out of the game, you're significantly the most dangerous because you play UTR, and you make it super deep every time, and you killed All Stars from what I was told (until you got targeted for being TOO GOOD once it came to merge). You're not someone I can just think about working with because I'm afraid you're going to beat me in so many aspects. It's just a respect thing, no hard feelings hopefully considering you seem like a really stand up girl. I think it's about that time I message you with the "well.... time to go to tribal" message :/
So yea.... Ruthie is starting to spread like wildfire and already I've planted the seed in Drew, Andrew, Pippa and Steffen, and all of them are spreading that around QUICK. Drew and I got added to a bros alliance with Trace, Ashton, Steffen and Dom, which I wanted to happen anyways. Not necessarily with Drew, but Drew being in it is actually perfect because Drew is in my other alliance with Kendall, Alex, Pippa, Isaac, Andrew, which means the ONLY person not in either alliance chat was Ruthie, which made it really easy to rationalize with Drew as to why we needed to take that route. Also, making an easy vote this round, considering there's massive potential for a tribe swap next round, we don't want ANY split votes. We need to show that the heroes are one unit for now. The only downside I can see with this is if I get swapped onto a tribe with minority heroes, and the Villains would want to break up our cohesive team. The only thing I know is that if I go to tribal, I've got at least a second lease on life in this game because I have that idol with Steffen, so after finding the idol, I'm not too worried about swaps anymore because I know there's a very good chance I'll make it out of the swap alive. The swap is going to be where I start making bonds with Villains I've yet to interact and play with; like Junior, Richie, Jonathan, Brian, etc. Players, who I want relationships with, but don't have yet because we're on opposite tribes. This swap is going to be interesting, and I'm really excited to see it play out if we get the chance, and if we don't get the chance, it'll probably be Kendall or Alex C. going home next tribal council because that's what I want to happen, which means it's likely to come true. I honestly don't understand how people don't see that the name I want, I get....... tbh I'm pretty sure Andrew might be onto the fact that I wanted Ruthie gone, when Andrew wanted Kendall or Drew, and all of a sudden people going for Ruthie, it seems that it could easily be traced back to me, but I doubt it. I think i'm good for now, and I hope Andrew knows that he can trust me. Another thing I really need to work on is my long term relationships with Pippa and Isaac because I really haven't had as many conversations with them, but I hope that they both know that it'll be really hard for me to turn on them because they're so nice and also not the STRONGEST of players, which makes for a great goat late game. I'm not sure, but I'm just taking it one step at a time for right now, and if I make it past this one, I'm in the final 18, which actually seems like a big accomplishment just due to the fact that so many fucking people have gone home already, so pat on the back to me, but I'm not even close to my goal yet. 
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uh tommy is fucking hard to deal with because he seems so easily persuaded ...its sad anyways alex and ...linus (rip holy fuck) are gone...i wish richie went when linus did but if i have to sacrifice linus to get to swap then like..so fucking be it. so the tru hunties ( me, crow, jon and tommy) are now in a beautiful spot because the vote is looking to be richie or brian so obv we have majority now tommy wants other things so i just need to give him a lot of attention. TBH I love that boy so much but i can see why andreas says were similar.. because were both crazy and def on the villains for a reason. But im glad hes crazy loyal bc im loyal af to him <3 <3 <3 it seems like either ruthie or someone else is going on the heroes but kendall aka my gf told me shes in a majority alliance with isaac, her, drew, alex, andrew and pippa so i mean like ...GET IT. they will prob save ruthie?!?! because she seems to be like off limits always ANYWAYS BRIAN IS ANNOYING AND IM TIRED OF CROW LOVING HIM BUT IM TRYING NOT TO BE APPARENT ABOUT IT BRIAN IS IN CONSTANT ...annoying mode it seems like..hes such a snake he basically sells anyone out to get further and i mean like theres a difference between doing it to someone who ur not loyal to and who is not loyal to u but crow and i are loyal af to him (at least they think im loyal to them?) jeejejjejeje anyways i want richie gone but if richie has an idol?? then like...i mean idrc because i know i have one so im good hehehehehohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoh I GUESS that was my evil laugh dklfhjdskjfh
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hi im secretly fluent in Japanese.
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lol why do i always talk to people before they get voted out just in case they dont ... brian(but pat went instead) ash alex linus and now richie i feel like a bitch but ive been honest with them -but lowkey i feel like this is saving my ass in case they stay so they think im gr8 hehehehohoh plspls swap us soon also kendall is so oblivious about johnny she was like omg keep johnny safe like btich hes talking to all the villains and the boys on my tribes are attention whores so they will love him soon enuf...hes cute and his social game is on fleek so i need to watch out for him heheheoehoh
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So, I just wanna point out that yesterday Drew told me he wanted to get Ruthie out. So of course I was the one to bring it up to the group so that if it comes down to it I can say that I helped push it towards Ruthie. I trust the group but lowkey if I get out I won't be shocked? But once this vote happens, especially if it happens the way I think it will, then I can have a lot more faith in the group I'm with.
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https://youtu.be/wjK-9yevt_w
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Me: jonathan told me that jr told him he only trusts jonathan LOL 🐦 Crow Jones 🐦: jr is literally such a garden snake 🐦 Crow Jones 🐦: like a real snake would at least do it better crow is so gr8 i love him..he still savage and will prob win over me but i still love him 
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So Linus died last round for no reason other than he was on the outs.  But like challenge strength kiddies !!! And now they're targetting Richie to stay united right before a swap.  Like.. get Kage or Junior or Tommy out thnx.  They're the most toxic to villains unity and WHEN I get fucked by them non-sexually, I will be choking myself.
ALSO, I miss Jaiden so much.  These people are kinda lame-os.  I like them as people, but like 👀
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Phew, I'm glad to have immunity. But beyond that, I'm really realizing that I cannot relate to most of these people. They don't show their true colors and it's annoying af. You wanna know what Crow is thinking? Ask Crow. like caw-caw bitch I'll tell ya! Richie is going cuz he decided to throw my name in the mud. nuh uh. that dont fly with me. since it's been a while, i need to do my weekly tribal roast Junior - Like I told Sarah, he's a garden snake. It's like the one you kinda feel bad for just squirming along in your front yard acting like some mean 'ole cobra. Not subtle or good at playing the snake, next. Tommy - Literally has the same convos with nearly everyone. His social game is that of a robot and it's definitely apparent now that I'm playing with him again. I just hope these other fools don't fall for it too. Kage - I don't know how he's still here cuz everyone he's made an alliance with has gone home (besides Tommy but Tommy's aligned with everyone). That's why I'm keeping my distance. Richie - We went our separate ways. He actually seemed chill until he blew up before the Alex vote. Hopefully his 14 seconds of fame was worth it! Brian - love this boi. I can relate to him a TON but idk how he seems to always do well in ts....if it weren't for people like Sarah and I, he could have easily been 25th this season I think? Maybe he's a mastermind idk, but I haven't figured him out yet as a player.. Jonathan - I love his realness, which is why I stuck by him when his name was thrown out and when I had to pick an alliance. He probably doesn't trust me for shit, but he's been a good asset to my game, particularly this round. Sarah - I wouldn't say she's my ride-or-die per se cuz I know she's werking her social game with a lot of people, but we've been in every alliance together so far, so strategically, I see us going far together until we are separated. But I also know she's a villain. I'm a villain. Villains don't work together loyally 5ever!!
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BRIAN IM SORRY YOU DONT DESERVE THIS!!!! Ugh I hate everything. Last night junior came to me with a plan to save me and I'm like cool and whatever keeps me here idgaf I'm in self preservation mode. Junior says Jonathan is super connected in the tribe and I'm like ya true and goes on this long spiel about it and I just wanted him to get to the point but finally he was like I think Brian would be the easiest vote. And ughhh I really like Brian and he's been the most on my side since the beginning out of the people left. Like literally everyone that I have any game connection with leaves. Ashley Jaiden Alex Linus and now Brian it's enough I'm so over it if he leaves and we don't swap and lose I'm FUCKED. BUT IM ALSO FUCKED RN. So Brian leaving is bad for me moving forward the alternative is that I leave and there is no moving forward so like..... It's not much of a choice there's no way I can flip this game around I spent the last 2 rounds since Alex left trying to shift the target onto Sarah and that didn't work at all I have no traction with these people. So step one was I mention Brian's name to tommy and tommy of course was so ambiguous and like just prying for information and I wasn't trying to throw Brian under the bus but I just wanted to plant the seed that Brian might be the easy vote plus tommy did vote for Brian week 1 so maybe there's some tension there??? So from there junior went and talked to tommy and kage and got them in on the Brian vote so if they're legit we only need one more but that's where it gets tricky because Sarah/crow/Jon are all going to vote together and I literally called Sarah and crow out in front of the tribe and threw them under the bus with receipts and hardcore exposure campaigns to multiple people on this tribe lmao so I'm fucked But I went to Sarah and we had a long talk just small talk and socializing and then moved to game talk where I really played up the emotional aspect where "I've been so alone and I was hurt that I thought I found my people and it all came crashing down and I just feel so isolated and it sucks and I'm sad :(" and I apologized really sincerely and tried to smooth everything over and just like make it so she's not scared of me sticking around because if she's doesn't think I'll come after her then the plan for junior to approach her to vote out Brian is more apt to get rolling because that door has already been opened.   I dont know if I'm going to still be here I can't play the in your face campaign against Brian or try and flip the script outright strategic game rn I have to just be in the background and make the case for why keeping me isn't harmful to anyone's game and let other people take care of numbers and I hate it when other people have any say in my destiny because if this tribe has proven anything it's that they can't be trusted like junior is SUCH a wimp when it comes to making moves he's so afraid of doing anything that if he thinks he's not going to be able to get the votes on Brian I know he'll give up on trying to save me so having him being the leader of the save Richie parade is truly terrifying. Ugh time has passed and junior is heckling out and I'm trying to convince crow now and I'm working my ass off while at dinner with my family and my phones going to die so RIP???????
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http://youtu.be/9ptMGA9SUO0 oooo
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So like nothing has happened on the heroes tribe because we've literally been on this huge winning streak. The streak itself has made things easier and challenging at the same time. We've grown so close that besides Drew or Steffen I don't want to see anyone leave. Had Drew lost immunity I would've tried my hardest to send him home because I have a sneaking suspicion Steffen and Drew have something going on and if we take out Steffen first that'll piss Johnny off, who we need as a number. So Drew has to go before Steffen as lon as they're on the same tribe with Johnny. Because Drew won immunity everyone decided to play it safe and either vote for Ruthie or Kendall and I think everyone decided on Ruthie because Kendall is on the edge of death and Ruthie is a huge social threat. I love her to death like she's the definition of a hero but we can't let her make it far.
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I'm sad, maybe my heart wasn't in it as much this time as it was for me during Arabia? I'm not sure, I really thought I could trust Andrew, Steffen and especially Drew but I should have known better, fought harder and tried to make stronger connections with other people on my tribe.  It was a fun experience and I hate that Richie, Alex and I left so soon and that the three of us didn't get to be on a tribe together but maybe we'll get a chance to play together again one day and the Family will make it to the end for real! Right now I'm not sure who I'm rooting for.  Steffen and Drew seem to be putting out the most effort but I'm bitter that they didn't tell me my name was being thrown around.  We'll see, I'm going to follow the season closely and cheer everyone on though!
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