#Alder is N and Colress' dad now
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Alder: I was playing Dungeons and Dragonite with my kids and I tried to make an enemy sympathisable. I gave it a meaningful backstory so they would feel bad about killing it.
Marshal: Did it work?
Alder: No. When Colress, N, and Anthea were having second thoughts, Concordia said, 'It's okay, it's not real', and then they mercilessly brutalised the enemy for loot.
#incorrect pokemon quotes#Champion Alder#Elite Four Marshal#Colress#N Harmonia#Anthea and Concordia#Pokemon Anthea#Pokemon Concordia#Source: unknown#I'm still making Concordia the aggressive one for the sheer irony of it#And because I think it's funny#Yeah she's named after a prace goddess#But that doesn't make HER peaceful#(Concordia's gonna go DOOM Slayer on every enemy in this game)#Alder is N and Colress' dad now#And that naturally makes him Anthea and Concordia's dad too
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OKAY OKAY I GOT BACK INTO PLAYING MY OLD POKEMON GAMES, and *sighhhhh* holy fuCK-
Pokemon White:
- N MY BABY BOY WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE YOU AAAAAAAAA
- Bianca is a mood
- That. Fucking. Ranger. With the. Overpowered. Marcactus.
- I got into the game, tried to get my old team back together only to find that besides my starter, EVERYONE WAS UNDERLEVELED AS FUCK
- Did I mention how much I want to punt Ghetsis into the Distortion World? Giratina needs some dinner.
- (Not me headcanon N to be a half Zoroark AND biologically related to Lusamine, Lillie, and Gladion from his bio mothers side)
- NOT ME GETTING WAR FLASHBACKS IN VICTORY ROAD
- Elesa my QUEEN.
- I mayyyyy or may not ship Cheren and Bianca?
- Alder is N’s adopted dad now, FUCKING BATTLE ME.
- My game card was all fucked up because of my shitty DSi with an eternally dusty cartridge and me trying to scratch out the nonexistent dirt.
- Okay okay, TELL ME HOW I NOTICED THIS. Ghetsis= Lusamine/ N=Lillie/ The Sages= Faba x7/ Anthea and Concordia= Wicke(?) (sorry Gladion my baby 🥺)
- I will keep making connections to Team Plasma and the Aether Foundation until the day I die.
- ALSOOOO, the Juniper’s father-daughter relationship is wholesome as fuck.
- N has a boyfriend and a girlfriend, their names are Piers and Flannery (DON’T WORRY SHE’S 19 IN MY HC, also, she’s never given a specific age, and she looks slightly over 18?)
- I laugh everytime I defeat a Team Plasma grunt
Pokemon Ultra Moon:
- LILLIE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU INNOCENT LIL BEAN
- GLADION, MY EMO BABY BOYYYYYY
- Lana is adorable, BUT I HAVE TO TRADE A FUCKING EMOLGA TO MYSELF TO DEFEAT THAT DAMN TOTEM ARAQUANID.
- Lusamine is Ghetsis but she’s attractive and actually gets redempted, I STILL HATED HER FOR THE FIRST PART OF THE GAME THOUGH.
- Speaking of Lusamine, Lillie, and Gladion. I will die with my headcanon that they’re N’s biological aunt/cousins.
- Hau, YOU ANNOYING RAY OF SUNSHINE.
- Kukui and Burnet’s relationship is sooooo sweet 🥺 IF YOU TEAR THEM APART I WILL BEAT YOUR ASS
- I love how Kukui found Lillie washed up on the beach and went, “HONEY GET THE ADOPTION PAPERS”
- Nebby is baby, I would willingly adopt the scared cloud baby.
- I don’t know why, but that flying type Elite Four member pisses me off. WHATWASHERNAME???
- Guzma is a traumatized stinky gremlin, and I love that traumatized stinky gremlin.
- FABA CAN FUCKING FALL IN A DITCH AND DIE
- Ghetsis you asshole, HIT LILLIE AGAIN AND NEBBY WILL RIP YOU APART.
- Also, uhhhhhh, Ghetsis just threatened to murder his “sons” cousin.
- Wicke? More like, THICKE
- Oh yeah, my dumbass made my Pokemon player character Lillie and Gladion’s younger sister, SUCH A DUMBASS I AM.
- Nanu, Acerola. Stop giving me Killian and NBB vibes. ( @usernose )
- ALRIGHT N AND LILLIE SIMILARITIES. THREE TWO ONE GO!
1. They have mentally abusive fuckwad parents (except Lusamine got redeemed)
2. Lillie has Solgaleo/Lunala, N has Reshiram/Zekrom
3. They leave at the end of the game (in Sun and Moon and Black and White) WITH EMOTIONAL ASS PIANO THEMES
4. Obviously show signs of being abused (I’ve seen theories with N having bipolar disorder/Multiple Personality Disorder, and Lillie just has straight up PTSD in the manga.)
- Of course, in my HC, N is Lillie’s cousin, soooo...
- THE ULTRA WORMHOLE IS SOOOOOO FUN
- I have PTSD from that fucking Totem Araquanid constantly murdering my team
- Wh- Colress. WHAT.
- I felt so bad for Popplio 🥺
- The fucking contrast between the girl preschoolers and the boy preschoolers. The boys start bawling and throw temper tantrums and the girls are like, “YAY I LOST! :D”
- Gladion is baby boy, emo baby boy, protecc him.
- Illima gives me weird Aoyama vibes, and that’s okay.
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random thoughts on my pokemon magical girl/boy au:
the protags/rivals fuse with their pokemon to become heroes. it’s not rly like ash-greninja or mother beast though. maybe a bit more like su fusion?
their powers come from the legendary pokemon of the region in question, via these things called “hearts”, which are weird artefacts found at the sites where leagues are built. the champions (+ kukui and burnet) look after these and watch over the heroes. the powers are specifically handed out by talking electric rodents (plus a mimikyu that got hired bc togedemaru wasn’t around and silvally couldn’t hand the power to gladion itself).
geez this got long let’s put it under a cut
red = charizard, blue = blastoise, leaf = venusaur.
red signs his dramatic speeches. leaf and blue thought initially maybe he could try speaking with his charizard’s help, but he still can’t speak any human languages. fortunately he’s still able to trash-talk giovanni, who learnt sign language because you never know who you’ll be dealing with in his line of business.
also red accidentally caught the pikachu that was trying to give him superpowers bc he was like “wow a pikachu!! they’re rare!! let’s catch it!!” pikachu has never let him live this down.
ethan = typhlosion, silver = feraligatr, kris = meganium, lyra = azumarill.
silver got picked up by the spiky-eared and pikachu-coloured pichu bros first. they regret this decision right up until goldenrod when the character development starts kicking in.
lance: “why this kid though?” pichu bros: “well... he has a good heart deep down!! we just didn’t realise how deep down it was.” lance, getting out his #1 dad mug and a barbeque: “guess i’m going to have to handle this one myself.”
kris actually gets her powers last, they meet her in ilex forest with her bayleef.
may = blaziken, brendan = swampert, wally = gallade.
SORRY SCEPTILE. i love you but... can’t have two greens...
may loves this job way too much. wally is so determined to do this right. brendan... is just getting dragged along for the ride.
wally’s costume has a face mask designed to help his breathing as part of it, so he can stay active for longer than he normally could. it actually really helps his health.
archie and maxie are also getting way too into this. archie is enjoying being the big bombastic magical girl villain, and while maxie won’t admit it, he’s going very shiny-glasses-and-tch on the gang.
dawn = torterra, lucas = empoleon, barry = infernape.
barry has fire powers, arceus help us all. wait, this is partially arceus’s fault. fuck.
cyrus is your standard super fucked up why is he in this genre at all villain.
looker figures out who the trio are basically immediately, but promises to keep their secret so long as they work with him against the team galactic. they agree because looker’s awesome and fuck cyrus.
dawn very much enjoys using the move wood hammer.
hilbert = samurott, bianca = emboar, cheren = serperior, n = zoroark.
the nacrene museum affair is a complete disaster for n, who realises at the last second that the skull isn’t what they want, and then has to go magical boy mode with hilbert to get it back, which confuses the HELL out of the plasma grunts.
please imagine bianca punching ghetsis through a wall. it is a great image.
cheren thinks this is stupid but he LOVES his costume.
rosa = lucario, hugh = unfezant.
the first one is based on the pokestar studios first movie. rosa stars in a film about herself, playing herself, and almost no one knows. hugh and bianca die of laughter when they see it.
the second one... firstly he gets a pidove fast, secondly, that MASK. imagine it.
my apologies to hilda and nate. you guys are cool but i couldn’t fit extra protags in on this one.
serena = delphox, calem = greninja, shauna = chesnaught, tierno = clawitzer, trevor = florges.
they love this. they love this so much. it is the best thing that has ever happened to these kids. especially tierno. he quickly becomes known as the most graceful of kalos’s legendary heroes and he loves it.
trevor is in kind of an odd situation - everyone else has gender match-ups on their pokemon but he can’t. so technically “florges hero” is non-binary. it’s an interesting opportunity for self-exploration if nothing else.
serena would probably end up very usagi-like just for the joke in the names. meanwhile calem is a fucking ninja and he loves it.
shauna in a suit of armour. it’s so stupid. i love it.
moon = incineroar, sun = primarina, hau = decidueye, lillie = lunala, gladion = silvally.
LILLIE PLZ. GLADION PLZ. that’s just excessive??
sun and moon are twins. scary twins. meanwhile hau is robin hood. he just wanted a type advantage over his grandpa.
the plot would be some convoluted mix of sm and usum with necrozma and mother beast and all of that thrown in.
episode rr is the movie where they get all of the teams together. giovanni is like “???” when he sees silver. archie and maxie end up working together because if they don’t then this tiny blaziken girl will destroy them both. cyrus has now seen it all. ghetsis laughs at n being there until he can’t fucking find anyone because of all the illusions, also it’s not funny to harass someone who is beyond the point of caring about it. lysandre cannot believe this is happening. faba runs screaming the moment the big fight starts.
fwiw: lance = dragonite (he adopts like seven unruly kids in this mess), steven = metagross (probably shiny for the aesthetic), wallace = milotic (most fabulous magical mentor ever), cynthia = garchomp (if you actually make her transform you’re screwed), alder = whatever his partner was in the past (you never see him change form), iris = haxorus (tiny princess girl with an axe), diantha = gardevoir (bow down to the queen or get moonblasted), kukui = lycanroc & burnet = musharna (they found the heart so they have to deal with it).
the villains also generally manage to imitate these powers with varying levels of success. giovanni manages it but doesn’t enjoy it. archie and maxie do fairly well because their pokemon like them. cyrus thinks it’s a weird but useful tool. ghetsis... max frustration hydreigon... it’s not pretty. n obviously nails it. colress never personally tries but it’s an interesting phenomenon all the same. lysandre also does well because his gyarados actually does seem to like him a lot. lusamine should not have tried this with an ultra beast. guzma goes all street samurai with his golisopod and it’s AMAZING.
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Alder: We call that a "traumatic experience".
Alder: *turns to Benga* Not a "bruh moment".
Alder: *turns to N* Not a "Major L".
Alder: *turns to Colress* And certainly not "oof lmao".
#incorrect pokemon quotes#Pokemon Alder#Champion Alder#Pokemon Benga#N Harmonia#Colress#Source: Unknown#Alder is N and Colress' dad now#So technically they're Benga's uncles#Alder is the Official Dad of Unova#Colress and N have a rather warped perspective on what is or isn't traumatic (thanks Ghetsis)#And Benga is Benga: a human wildfire#(I was initially thinking Cheren instead of Benga but Benga makes more sense to me here)
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Alder: Okay, kids. Here are your rules while I'm out.
N: Oh, okay. These make sense.
Colress: "Don’t use the food microwave for science"? That's easy enough.
Benga: Gramps, mine just says "Benga, no".
Alder: *sagely nods* Yes.
Alder: And I want you to apply it to every possible situation.
#incorrect pokemon quotes#Pokemon Alder#Champion Alder#N Harmonia#Colress#Pokemon Benga#Source: unknown#It also includes some additional things from me#I think the exchange between Alder and Benga is a meme though?#Alder is Colress and N's dad now
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N: Colress and I were crossing the street, and this guy drove by and honked at us.
Alder: *sighs* What did Colress do. . ?
N: He chased him to the next red light, reached into his window, and. . .
Colress: Who wants a steering wheel?
#incorrect pokemon quotes#N Harmonia#Pokemon Alder#Champion Alder#Colress#Source: unknown#I was initially thinking N would nick the steering wheel#But Colress probably carries the tools around to do so#So he’s the most logical choice here#Alder is Colress and N's dad now#They are his chaotic sons
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Ghetsis: *looking into the house through a pair of binoculars* There’s no point in me asking the Triad to poison all of the salad; as long as nothing stops them from eating the tomatoes, they'll die.
Colress: *staring at a tomato on his fork* Hm. . .
Ghetsis: EAT IT!
Colress: Hhmm. . .
Ghetsis: EATITEATITEATIT EAT IT!
Colress: HHHMMMmmm. . .
Ghetsis: EAT THE FUCKING FRUIT!
Colress: N!
Ghetsis: *scream of frustration*
Colress: Now that Alder's out of the house, we can skip straight to dessert!
N: Colress! . . . That's a great idea!
Ghetsis: I KNEW I SHOULD'VE TOLD THE TRIAD TO POISON THE WHOLE FUCKING SALAD!
#incorrect pokemon quotes#Ghetsis#Colress#N Harmonia#Champion Alder#Shadow Triad#(The latter two are only mentioned)#Not shipping#Source: Mirai Nikki An Abridged Series#Alder is Colress and N's dad now
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Grimsley: You lost a lot of blood and passed out. Do you remember anything?
Colress: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Grimsley: There wasn't an ambulance - I drove you.
Colress: But I heard sirens?
Rosa: That was N.
N: I was WORRIED.
#incorrect pokemon quotes#Grimsley#Colress#Pokemon Colress#N Harmonia#source: unknown#falsepretensesshipping#(Just a little bit)#It was originally going to be Beheeyem instead of N#But I thought N would be funnier so he’s here now#N is now part of this Chaotic Family#Alder is still his No.1 dad though#Colress and Grimsley bounce between being his mayhem dads and his chaotic uncles#And Rosa is Colress' unofficially adopted daughter#They are a very chaotic found family
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People seem to really like Whumptober story number 20 (it's called "Safety Beneath Volcarona Wings" on AO3).
I'm quite glad, actually. I really like my idea of Alder becoming a father figure to Colress and N, so I'm really happy that it's receiving so much positive feedback.
Although I don't have many ideas for this found family at the moment, the positive feedback I've received already has given me the confidence to hopefully do more for this trio in the future.
I might even do a few drawings or comics! :3
#Some chatter from me#Pokemon Alder#Champion Alder#N Harmonia#Colress#They are a found family now#Alder is Colress and N's father figure (he is Unova's Official Dad)#I have a silly idea in mind actually - I just need the motivation to start drawing it XD
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2023 Whumptober 20
Summary: Wherein Alder gains a second son (and N gains a big brother).
Written for the 2023 Whumptober event!
#Whumptober2023#No.20#Found Family#Pokemon#Fanfic#Mentions of past abuse#Mentions of past child abuse#Pokemon Alder#Champion Alder#Colress#N Harmonia#Volcarona#Beheeyem#Alder is their dad now
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