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theabysswatchers333 · 3 years

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The Walten Files Theories:

I rewatched the series and I have some new theories and my guess on the timeline. If anyone saw my previous theories about Jack being in Boozoo. I take that back. I struggle to see faces and I got Charles and Jack confused. Anyway with theories from my brother I think I understand the Walten files a lot better now. But of course these are just theories or guesses to the story. I went all out and spoke on all my theories because I think that's what your supposed to do. Since the story of bons burgers isn't told in a traditional sense. My brother also helped me generate ideas so I want to give him some credit too, enjoy!

Firstly I want to cover two big mysterious. Jack and Charles. Their fates are really left to mystery. But I think we get enough clues that the peices can be put together.

Charles is the most unknown important figure in the entire series. We know what he looks like and who he was stuffed into but otherwise we don't get much else. I have a few theories on him. With the casting of Boozoos ghost and the fact that everyone Felix killed was an employee, I think Charles was an important or high ranking employee under the founders. My guess would be that either he made the animatronics, he was the person who handled the buisness side of things, or he was the highest ranking and most loyal Tech support. I think he may have been close to the founders. So close they set up opening day to be on Lily's birthday (I assume Lily was close to Charles, a daughter or a neice) I picked up on this when Linda called Lily by name in her letter. If it was someone she didn't know she would've said "opening day" or just "a birthday party" she had probably met Charles and Lily at least once to know this info. And at this time the company wasn't off the ground yet. So with that established I think Charles was killed for one of two reasons (or a mix of both) A. Jack set it up so that if something happened to him Charles got his part of the company and become a founder or B. Charles was the one who told the authorities about what happened at Bons burgers. If you remember in Rosemary's section there is a shadow that follows behind then slowly and walks in as shes stuffed. That couldve been charles. He may have picked up that Felix acted strange around his female employees (I always thought it was odd aside from Jack and Brian the majority of the deaths were woman) plus the "nows shes beautiful bit" which may have gotten Charles to keep on eye on the other employees and watch over them. But that eventually got him killed. Both theories are things Felix wouldn't have wanted to happen. When Jack is dead he acts as if he barely existed and even capitalizes off his disappearance. I think Felix while caring for the Waltens also had a big ego. Thinking he was above everyone and obsessive about his image. Which probably lead to all the deaths but especially Charles.

That leads me into my next theory. No one is in Bon. Bon is the face of the company. I think Felix's ego is to big for him to ruin the animatromic that is the company's brand. I think all the murders that happened when Bons burgers was open were entirely Felix. Even though we're seeing the bon animatronic. If you notice in Rosemary's part, bon had human hands. Separate from the suit

See? The suit is covering someone human. At this point Felix couldve been wearing the suit. But later it was probably impossible for Ashley and Brian to be killed by Felix. Which Leads me to my next part.

We can tell by Ed and Molly possessing their rabbit that the bodies don't have to be inside the animatronic for them to be possesed. While Felix obviously didn't die he still could've possesed Bon in some way. Like a poltergeist situation, where his guilt was so extreme. Plus his heightened emotions when he killed wearing the bon suit. It left Bon possesed by his energy. I think this makes sense as Bon is clearly hunting for Sophie. However he doesn't know what she looks like and is just randomly attacking employees that have the same uniform. So it doesn't make sense that Jack or Felix are actually in the suit.

I actually think that after Bons shut down the bodies were removed from the animatronics. All the animatronics have the same large holes in their chests. Which don't look like regular wear and tear. This is probably also why they could be reopened and reused as the biohazard was removed before they were stored.

Billy is dirty but doesn't have any holes, as he wasn't stuffed with a body until after he was put into the storage facility. Bon probably had blood on him from Felix and had to be cracked open, Sha was also opened. If your curious as to why Police didn't just take off the top layer and expose the exoskeleton. The inside of the animatronics probably had evidence that they took in. Like hair, blood, nails, or if you think some were stuffed alive (like Susan), scratch marks.

Now after those linked thearies let's go back to Jack. A lot of people wonder why Show bear wasn't apart of the show stoppers. But with the estimated timeline were shown. Jack was probably murdered first after Ed and Molly died. I theorize that A. Jack is in showbear and B. Showbear was in the showstoppers but Felix became paranoid or because it was his first kill while drunk he wasn't able to hide the body properly so he dumped the whole animatronic in a well. Probably just off the Bons burgers property.

With all those theories laid out im gonna give my estimated and theorized timeline

Jack and Felix co-founder a restaurant and name it Bons Burgers. They start to hire employees before it opens and set up the opening date to be on Lily's birthday. Which is Charles Neice or Daughter. Charles was close to the Waltens and Krankens and probably did behind the scenes work on the buisness or was a loyal friend they hired as an employee. Before opening day Felix is asked to take Ed and Molly to a school dance and drop them off at home. He takes them to the dance and drinks while he's there. He then starts to drive them home. Combined with his drunk driving and the loose laws on seatbelts in the 70s; Ed and Molly are killed in a car crash. Where Felix survives. Felix buries Ed and Molly, who go on to posses their stuffed rabbit even though their still buried. Jack kept calling Felix more and more panicked. Felix probably lied and said he took them to bons burgers and lost track of time. That he felt dizzy and needed Jack to come pick them all up. When Jack got there Felix probably attacked him and thought he killed him and roughly stuffed him in showbear. But because of his drunken state he couldn't quite do it right. So instead he dragged showbear to a nearby well and threw the animatronic inside. Jack was probably alive still. In his later messages he begs for help, stating that he can't breath. Rosemary or Felix reports all three of them missing. Opening day comes around, it seems it went smoothly but for some reason Susan is killed and stuffed inside Banny. Probably alive, per the "the rabbit is starving" section. Bons burgers continues operating until Felix tricks Rosemary into the back rooms. Wearing the Bon suit. He dismembers her alive and stuffs her in Sha. Charles walks in or he's already gone to the police so he's also killed and stuffed in Boozoo. Along with presumably Susan screaming at night still alive and begging for help. Bons burgers is closed for good. Felix still wants to kill Sophie to ensure that he is never caught but he never manages to do so. The animatronics are inspected and all bodies are removed. Everything is moved to the storage facility as the case is investigated. The case probably went cold, or at least the bodies weren't buried yet as Felix was never found out. With all of them having unfinished buinsess they still continue to haunt Bons burgers. Most of the showstoppers don't seem to reanimate. Instead finding their way into employee tapes, cartons, and the arcade games like bunny farm. Bon possesed by Felix's negative energy from his murders, attempts to hunt down Sophie. Eventually after the case is either dropped or goes cold. Attempts are made to reopen Bons burgers as the characters are still successful. The relocate project start up and the three employees are sent to try and fix the animatronics. Ashley goes into the backroom and is killed by Bon and stuffed in Billy. This shuts down the relocate project for a while. Brian is hired to try and fix the animatronics again. But is stopped by Bon and is hunted down and mauled left to die. Until eventually it appears the project is successful as Sophie and Jenny seem to be new employees handling the machines in a different setting. While playing Bunnyfarm Sophie starts to, and eventually remembers her family.

Stepping back from the lore and story in their universe. I feel like there is another angle you could see the story in. I also think the Walten Files could be being told from Sophie's perspective, possibly in thearpy. These seemingly meaningless tapes suddenly Jolt memories and flashbacks. Which would also explain the random music, dates, distorted pictures, and disjointed conversations. Honestly some parts in the Walten Files remind me of my own memories and flashbacks as a person with memory problems like Sophie. However there isn't much evidence for that. But it is still possible. From that Angle the sequence of events still play out the same but instead of the tapes being haunted its Sophie's having flashbacks as she remembers bits and peices.

That's all I have! Sorry it ended up being such a long post, I hope it makes sense. Have a good day, thank you for reading!

#the walten files #twf #the walten files boozoo #twf boozoo #Jack Walten #felix kranken #Sophie Walten #bons burgers #the walten files banny #the walten files sha #rosemary walten #tw blood

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crabstreet · 4 years

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I’d kept hermit crabs for roughly a year and a half prior to discovering the CSJ site, and – like many others – assumed I’d been properly caring for them, negating the need to further research their requirements…or anything about them, really. One doesn’t exactly discover troves of books dedicated to hermit crabs the way one discovers the same in regards to dogs, cats, birds, or any of the other, more typical household pets. Subsequently, one simply decides that not much must be known about them (or that what is known is too boring and/or limited to bear repeating in guide after guide), and so one makes do with the information provided by pet store employees. While I don’t recall the exact thing that led to my first Google search about them, I do recall that it was diet-related, as I became interested in offering foods other than the pre-packaged pet store fare. During the course of this search, I came upon the CSJ site and decided to poke around. I was quickly struck not only by the quantity of information present, but also its quality. In addition to locating more than I ever bargained for, or could have imagined I’d find, regarding food options – and nutritional needs in general – I found information on so many other factors involved in the crabs’ care: Substrate. Tank size. Heating options. Molting. Illness. And……..science. A college professor by trade, I’m not one to be convinced of something, especially animal-care-related somethings, unless there is appropriate back-up research involved. I found such evidence throughout the CSJ site (man, those hermit crab books and pet store employees were way off…), and it convinced me that the folks in charge here must be awfully invested in correct hermit crab care. Why else would the site be so thorough? Contain information proven through included research? Contain an option for receiving assistance in the event of an emergency? Contain a marketplace, where select food items could be purchased for unbeatable prices? I was sold. And encouraged. I did a bit of additional, outside research, found information from trustworthy sources that corroborated CSJ’s, and set about making changes to my own crabs’ set-up. CSJ opened the door not only to new knowledge, but to the fact that such knowledge actually exists and is freely available. It also opened the door to a desire to learn more, and to maybe even mingle online with others like myself: crab owners dedicated to giving their crustaceous kiddos the best life possible.

Fast-forward to a year-plus later, and I’ve continued to make regular use of the CSJ site. I’ve also, as a result of joining its affiliated (LHCOS) group on Facebook, discovered not just folks I enjoy interacting with in a general sense; I’ve found new friends…a new tribe, if you will…some of whom I had the pleasure of meeting in-person at the first-ever CrabCon in July of 2019, an event that allowed this truly-introverted gal to come out of her shell (come on; you knew such a reference was imminent). It was a surreal experience that continues to sit strongly in my memory, and it offered additional options for camaraderie and a sense of community/belonging. But, I digress.

On September 22nd, 2019, I awoke to find one of my small crabs on top of the substrate, shell-less and missing all limbs with the exception of two walking legs, one of which was injured. He was a pathetic sight at best, and though I did not have high hopes for his survival (he had, I assume, been assaulted under the substrate while molting), I plopped him into an iso container with a few shells of appropriate size, as his was nowhere to be found. It took him a couple hours to choose one, and when he did, he picked a green turbo that was clearly too small. This concerned me, but I was more relieved that he was at least strong enough, and possessed enough of a will to survive, to put on some pants. I posted a photo of him in his sad state to my personal Facebook page, and – not surprisingly – my CSJ friends were quick to weigh in with support and suggestions. When it became readily-apparent after a day or two that the crab truly wanted to live (he was moving, eating, and drinking, although the latter two activities involved my being hands-on with him, as he was missing both claws), I began regularly communicating with various CSJ administrators and moderators. I’d never been in this situation with a crab before, and obviously I was interested in ensuring this one’s survival. I knew the basics for caring for an incapacitated, limbless crab – thanks to the CSJ site – but I desired more specific assistance, and the aforementioned admins and mods were not only quick to advise, but pleasant, genuinely-helpful, and personally-interested, and invested, in this little crab’s well-being. The ever-lovely and thoughtful Mary Akers even mailed a care package that included nutrient-dense food appropriate for a clawless, recuperating crab. This is the level of commitment these people demonstrate…not just for the crabs themselves (in a collective sense), but also for each other and for those of us in the LHCOS group who demonstrate a willingness to learn and to do right by our hermits and by each other, as friends. I was – and continue to be – blown away by the support, and kindnesses, shown.

As a result of these wonderful folks’ efforts, which guided my own, my incapacitated crab, who has since come to be named William Robert (‘William’ because of his will to live, and ‘Robert’ thanks to a former student-turned-friend who regularly checked in by asking how ‘Bob the Crab’ was doing), successfully molted into wholeness in the overnight hours of October 12th, 2019. Two days later – and only 20 days after I found him lying helpless, naked, and nearly limbless in his tank – he continues to harden. I imagine it’s only a matter of time before I discover him picking away at the remains of his ordeal, in the form of his old exoskeleton, with the brand-new claws that he regrew under the watchful eyes of his many CSJ/LHCOS friends and advocates. Much love, and many thanks, to you all.

Sherri Werdebaugh

(Scroll for a series of photos, from the day I found him to the day he molted. )

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William Robert out of his shell and missing all but two legs

William Robert, the hermit crab, clings to Sherri’s finger with his two remaining legs for a hand fed meal

William Robert eating well right from Sherri’s hand

William Robert looking good

William Robert has begun to grow all new limbs

William Robert’s new limbs are turning orange, signalling he is ready for his recovery molt.

William Robert has molted again and his new limbs are intact but a bit smaller than they should be. One more molt will bring them to full size.

Sherri W. I’d kept hermit crabs for roughly a year and a half prior to discovering the CSJ site, and – like many others – assumed I’d been properly caring for them, negating the need to further research their requirements…or anything about them, really.

#hermit crab #testimonial

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sttngfashion · 7 years

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Genesis - 7.19

It’s a fashion-light episode but it DOES involve Spot, so.

We start with Riker in sickbay getting some sort of spiny plant removed from his back after things “started getting romantic” with him and another crew member in the arboretum.

Fuck so hard I roll over dangerous plants and don’t give two shits

Nurse Ogawa is here, which is always a pleasure, and she’s rocking a seriously voluminous updo, sort of a 1940s meets 1990s sensible French twist. I’m sure she loves having to remove Riker’s sexytime plant spines. That’s definitely what she went to Starfleet Nursing Academy for.

Barclay is also in sickbay, because: Barclay.

He literally claimed he had something called “Terellian Death Syndrome” which is honestly a terrible name for a syndrome

Beverly has asked him repeatedly not to search the medical database before coming to her (AKA Never Search WebMD), but of course Broccoli does. She’s got her gorgeous strawberry shortcake season 7 hair happening:

MFW Barclay shows up in sickbay for the third time this week

The other patient being tended to is also a beautiful redhead:

The laying on of hands

Spot is pregnant and at first I was like “HOW THE FUCK DID SPOT GET PREGNANT” but apparently a) there are 12 male cats on board and b) Spot has a tendency to sneak out of Data’s quarters.

Okay, listen.

1. If there are AT LEAST 13 cats on board, WHERE ARE THEY? I want a Bridge Cat.

Bridge Cat: artist’s rendering

2. HOW IS SPOT GETTING OUT? This is a fucking SPACESHIP. Shit should be LOCKED DOWN. It’s literally AIRTIGHT. I GUESS she could sneak through, like, a vent or something but if you’re going to have cats on board, you need to PLAN for their fuckery.

This could be really bad

3. If the cats are WANDERING THE SHIP, aren’t you worried they’re going to end up in the warp core? Or that even just their fur is? WHO IS VACUUMING UP ALL THE FUR.

Anyway, Crusher is apparently also a veterinarian (which I guess makes sense since she treats all sorts of species) and says that Spot should deliver her babies soon. Nurse Ogawa then says that she’s also pregnant! THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER, which is the only reason she says it.

Also important for later:

Oh yeah gimme that t-cell injection

I’ll just tell you now that all the weird stuff that occurs in this episode is a result of Broccoli’s mutated t-cells after he gets this shot (or something). It’s (enjoyable) nonsense so don’t worry about it. I just wanted you to see how much he loved getting this hypospray.

Picard and Data have to drive through an asteroid field to get a stray torpedo (bad). Data asks Barclay to keep an eye on Spot, since she’s about to give birth, and she likes Barclay best of all the people on board. You can tell by the way she looks at him:

This IS my “I love you” face

Broccoli is pleased, because no one likes him.

WE’RE BEST FRIENDS NOW

It’s actually very sweet; Barclay even seems to know something about cats and asks Data where she’s planning to have her kittens.

With Barclay’s luck, she will have them inside his pants while he’s wearing them, somehow

I just really enjoy Data’s display case here, with his violin case juuuuust open enough to let all the dust in, but not quite enough to actually see the instrument.

Spot’s in good hands:

Yarn, Spot? You cliche

Elsewhere on the ship, Worf is having a fucking feast:

No I asked for a SIDE of tentacles

This looks delicious, actually. Giant turkey leg? Some kind of weird dried fish? Potato salad on a bed of green beans? I’m in.

Troi shows up, a little upset that Worf didn’t wait for her, since they planned to have lunch together. He’s mean and it’s weird. You can already tell something STRANGE is happening on the ship, mostly because Troi is NOT wearing a jewel tone:

Eileen Fisher for Spacefleet

Drink this look in, kids, because it’s one of the two non-uniform looks in this episode. We can see here that I THINK Troi is wearing some Danskin shimmer tights with her beige on beige minidress and matching waterfall cardigan. The color is not what we usually see on her, but it’s not terrible (except for my pre-existing anti-beige bias). It’s certainly along the lines of what I wear when I’m lounging around.

Secret pajamas except it’s not a secret. It’s just pajamas I wear in public

Ed. note: I copied that picture of my cat Violet to my clipboard earlier when I was making the images above and I accidentally pasted it here and I can’t bring myself to delete it.

Troi’s hair has reached its astonishing season 7 pouf levels and I just love everything about it. Anyway, Worf is acting like a real dick, but we do get another good look at those Ten-Forward outfits.

IS THAT HOUNDSTOOTH

If I ever attend another con, that’s going to be my look because houndstooth is everything to me.

Later, Worf’s dickishness turns into something MORE:

I’M A DICK ON A RAMPAGE

This scene is super dark and it’s not totally clear what’s happening, but Worf basically just destroys his own quarters, including his pillows, then cuddles up with them on the floor. We do get a decent look at Worf’s jammies, which are brown and might be made of varying colors of burlap.

If anyone was gonna wear burlap pajamas, it would be the Klingons

I’m not sure what’s going on with that shoulder detail, but it can’t be that comfortable to sleep in? But again - Klingons aren’t exactly a culture that considers “comfort” to be something to aim for. If you showed a Klingon an Aerosole, he would 100% cut it in half and throw the halves in your face.

These PJs might also be linen, which would be WAY nicer to sleep in, but a little off-brand. I mean, a Klingon in linen? Can you imagine? Hold on, you don’t have to:

Pure white to better show off the blood of my slain enemies

So everyone is acting weird. Troi is like “I’m cold. I need a bath,” and walks off the bridge. The next time we see her, this is happening:

Deanna, sweetie? It’s more relaxing if you take your uniform off

As she’s taking her fully-clothed bath, Worf busts in and:

CHOMP

It’s actually very upsetting, and at first neither of them even really know how to react either:

Oh god did I just bite you

Did you just fucking BITE me??????

Troi goes to sickbay, where she gets my favorite disco blanket:

Disco Blanket: Because why shouldn’t a blanket be iridescent

To be fair, emergency blankets ARE shiny, so.

You better believe that’s an affiliate link, friend

Okay so THEN Crusher is examining Worf and she asks him to open his mouth and HOO BOY was that a mistake.

Does the replicator not have the recipe for Listerine, or

He SPRAYS her like a fucking dilophosaurus!!

NOT IN THE FAAAAAAAAAACE

Later someone says her injuries were so bad that SHE WILL NEED RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY. That means in every episode after this (not many, but still), we are seeing a RECONSTRUCTED BEV.

So everyone is losing it, basically, which doesn’t explain why Broccoli thinks this is a normal way to stand:

Is this how a human? Does a stand? How is stand

Finally, Picard and Data come back, and when they arrive, the Enterprise is just adrift. They board and find this:

Sir, if the t-shirt does not spark joy when you touch it, the book counsels you to throw it away. I was unable to apply this method as I do not feel joy, nor any other emotion

It’s the shed skin of a reptile, which: whaaaaaat? Ain’t no reptiles on this ship!

Narrator: actually, there were reptiles on this ship

Troi is still in the bathtub when Picard and Data find her, and she is like, half lizard because the t-cells released when Barclay got that hypospray are making everyone de-evolve. Sure. She looks terrible, which is a real feat since Marina Sirtis is such a Betty:

Honestly she’s still p hot

I think my favorite part of this makeup is the gecko-like fingertips. Excellent detail. Love the scales, love the contacts, love the unripe banana shade of green they used. All great.

Data and Picard go check out what else is happening, and they find a caveman at one of the control panels:

Not a Starfleet regulation haircut

But what’s this? It’s not a caveman at all! It’s...

I heard dramatic eyebrows were back in

...Riker! I guess! The makeup on Frakes here is SO heavy that it’s not immediately apparent that it’s Riker, except that he’s wearing command red and has a beard. Plus, Picard says “Will?” upon this reveal.

FUCK YOU GUYS

I’m saving this as my “flipping the bird” image to use forever.

Data and Picard manage to subdue Riker and get him to sickbay, after which they go to Data’s quarters to use his computer. But guess what happened?

KITTENS

Spot had her babies! They’re legit VERY small kittens and very cute. Data says they’re hungry, and wonders why Spot isn’t taking care of them. And then comes one of the best shots since chicken in the hallway:

Sup

IT’S AN IGUANA WEARING SPOT’S COLLAR. SPOT DEVOLVED INTO LITERALLY JUST AN IGUANA. I laughed so hard at this shot and I REALLY wanted the kittens to interact with the iguana, but they didn’t. I don’t know if that iguana was even on set.

LOL

Data notes that the kittens didn’t turn into baby iguanas, so he thinks maybe there’s some kind of cure for the devolution from pregnancy? Or something? This is where Nurse Ogawa’s recently-announced pregnancy comes into play. So he goes to sickbay, and Picard goes to see what’s going on in Engineering, and finds:

Help meeee

Barclay devolved into, like, a spider? I guess? Because this gene mutating thing is just nuts and does whatever the effects people think will look cool. (And they all do look pretty cool.)

Nurse Ogawa has devolved into Standard Neanderthal #4:

On loan from the American Museum of National History

And finally, the big boss: Worf. Worf turned into something with an exoskeleton that was able to make this dent in the sickbay door:

Rude

Picard and Data speculate that Worf thinks Troi is his mate (sure) and he’s trying to get through the door to her, so they synthesize her pheromones to draw Worf away from sickbay so that Data can focus on making a cure with Nurse Ogawa’s pregnancy hormones. Obviously. But first Picard has to get out of sickbay.

PEEK

Picard manages to lure away the Worf-monster, which looks like this:

Part beetle, part conch shell, all covered in chocolate

It’s hard to see what’s happening but what you can see is just really gnarly:

Are there horny toads on Klingon?

Ultimately, Data is successful in making a cure and sends it through the air ducts so everyone on board is fine. And when Barclay finds out that it was his treatment that started it all, and that he might have a disease named after him:

A hypochondriac’s dream

And don’t forget: THERE ARE AT LEAST 13 CATS ON THE ENTERPRISE

#season 7 #tng #sttng #star trek #Star Trek TNG #Star Trek Fashion #fashion

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simplyoriginalcharacters · 7 years

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((Hello again. So this is my second character for the Mercenary duo that I created. The first guy that I made and submitted was named Spiro Vasilakis and he was a cyborg mercenary. The image comes from my Sims 4 game and it was edited by me.

Hi! This is D with your character review. Full review and profile is under the cut.

I know the last profile that I submitted was bad, and I hope this is a bit better. I’m looking for character and backstory help really.

World/ Universe: In the world that my cousin and I made, these guys are villains. The universe is set in 2035, demons and aliens are on earth and everything is the same except earth is more green. Luka and anyone else mentioned is from the same world too. To help with understanding:

Shershen’: An alien race of giant hornet human hybrids. They’re dangerous.

Makarasan: Another alien race. They are like spiders and natural enemies of Shershen’.

Thank you for reviewing this and if you have any questions then please feel free to ask me ))

Name: Kamon Eko

Aliases: Eko

Gender: Male

Sexual Orientation: Unknown

Age: Unknown. He looks between the ages of 25 and 30, but he may actually be 50.

Ethnicity: Thai, Indonesian, Brazilian

Race: Demon/Shershen’ hybrid

Birthdate: Unknown.

Occupation: He works with Reggie.

Alignment: Very Neutral

Affiliations: Reggie mostly. He has never worked with anyone else and it is unclear as to where his loyalty lies at the moment.

Family: Dr. Kamon Tirta and Dr. Ana Clara Bautista. He never saw them as his “mother” or “father” but he just knows that he was made by them. Their relationship was sparse because they saw him as a failed experiment and they had no other use for him

Best Friends: Reggie

Relationship Status: Single

Significant Other: NA

Other Relationships: He and Luka Raznatovic are mortal enemies. There is no way that these two could get along, and biologically they are enemies. One is part Shershen’ and the other is part Makarasan.

Height: 6'3

Weight: 225lbs

Build: Lean but athletic

Skin Tone: Tan with brown undertones

Hair: Jet black with the lightest tints of red.

Eyes: Orange irises with slightly curved pupils and yellow sclera.

Identifying Marks: Glasgow smile, orange stripe tattoos along his arms, torso and legs, 5 inch long orange nails.

Appearance: Eko has interesting features. He is of Thai, Indonesian, and Brazilian ethnicity. He has jet black black hair with the lightest tint of red in it. He has Orange irises with slightly curved pupils and yellow sclera. He has a Glasgow smile and a split down the middle of his chin because when he opens his mouth, he has a scary pair of mandibles that can extend about a foot out of his mouth, he has orange stripe tattoos along his arms, torso and legs, and very noticeable 5 inch long orange nails. Some of the orange lines are in fact extra appendages that resemble centipede legs and he can use them to attack. He’s 6'3, 225 pounds. He loves red, so he’s most often seen wearing a red leather jacket, a black tank top, deep red pants, and combat boots.

Personality: Eko has a muted and mysterious personality. He keeps to himself and he is always thinking about something other than what he’s supposed to do. He is an excellent friend because if he likes someone, then he would throw his life on the line to protect them. He he never been known to have any ulterior motives, and when he speaks he has never been known to lie. He is a vicious person who likes hunting others and stalking them too. A common misconception about him is that people assume that he is mute because he never speaks. He talks a lot, but if he has nothing to say then he prefers to be quiet.

Motivations: He is motivated by something. It may be friendship because He is always around or near Reggie.

Current Goal: He just wishes to follow Reggie around because he’s interesting.

Life Goal: He has none in mind.

Motto: “You are never going to see me coming”

Best Quality: He is a good friend. So far, he’s helped Reggie with a lot of missions and he’s always protecting him.

Worst Quality: He has no qualms about killing and eating people. He will do it at the most random moments and there is no telling as to when he’s going to kill someone.

Likes: Warm weather, Knives and when Reggie drives.

Dislikes: The cold, very hot weather, Sershen’ in general and being interrupted while he is on a mission.

Fears: He has a fear of dying because that would mean that Reggie would loose his good friend.

Hobbies: Hunting, writing and he likes collecting belts. He collects the belts of his victims.

Talents: He is a talented mechanic. He knows how to professionally repair a car and he can fix just about anything on it.

Skills: He is like a “human” GPS. He can navigate and figure out any location that he’s in. He’s also fluent in 3 languages and he’s an great tracker too.

Abilities: Due to his unique Demon and Sershen’ biology, he has a strange set of abilities. He naturally produces an extremely potent neurotoxin from the tips of his hands, his mandibles, and his legs that are on his rib cage. This toxin is a lethal hybridization of Sershen’ and giant centipede venom and it devastates the body once it enters the system. His skin is like an exoskeleton, and because of this he can fight an adult Shershen’ head on. He has heightened senses, enhanced reflexes, and an almost unending appetite.

Weapons: He was born with natural weapons. On his hands he is armed with 5 inch long nails that are coated in a deadly neurotoxin. He has extremely sharp teeth, and if he opened his mouth all the way, he has foot long poison coated mandibles that he can use as weapons too. Along his rib cage he actually has these legs that he can stab people with if he needs to. On his waist carries two 10 inch long knives that he knows how to wield with deadly accuracy.

Weaknesses: Because he is part Sershen’ he has a weakness to extreme cold.

Fighting Style: He uses a drastically modified version of Pencak Silat.

Secret: For some reason he wants to eat Reggie. He thinks that it would be easy to do if he had the chance. He knows that he shouldn’t, but he just has this urge to kill him one day.

Influential Memory: Hearing and Knowing that his creators thought that he was a monster. He even remembers watching them as they snuck into his room to kill him.

Role Model: Reggie is like his big brother, and he looks up to him to a point.

Crush: He has a crush on this doctor that he met. She was a missionary, and Reggie did meet her but Eko will not tell him her name.

Source of Embarrassment: He’s actually embarrassed by his accent. It sounds like a British, French one and it’s rather noticeable when he lives in Indonesia. He just chooses to keep silent most of the time.

Source of Pride: His hunting skills. He’s created a method that’s so effective that he only uses 5 percent of the time.

History: Dr. Kamon Tirta and Dr. Ana Clara Bautista were conducting an experiment that was sure to make them go down in scientific history. They managed to get the DNA sample of a Shershen’ warrior and a particular specimen from an unknown source.

Dr. Kamon Tirta was a renowned Doctor of Netherworld Sciences and his wife was a geneticist who was trying to create a perfect being based off of a Serbian doctors research that was considered as taboo.

They suspected that they actually had a demon sample because of how it responded other samples. It would consume other matter even though it was not attached to the host.

The two doctors decided to have a child. They grew it in an incubation cell, but in the process they took the Shershen’ and Demon DNA and they used it on their unborn child, calling it “Subject A”. The mixture of the DNA caused Subject A to grow rapidly, and within 5 months they had a full grown baby. Subject A was a difficult baby to raise because although he was partially human he could not eat or process normal baby food. He would destroy things and he was always crying. They suspected that he was malnourished because although he drank water, he had nothing to eat. According to Dr. Vasovic’s research his experiment came from a carnivorous background. He used live samples to feed it and it seemed to work. They took his advice and they decided to feed him with a mixture of Blood and protein and that sustained him for a while.

His growing years were even more difficult because he had this innate instinct to attack people. He would real out and roam at night. One day he attacked a drunk man and he pulled his arm off. Luckily the doctors caught him and convinced the man that it was a tigers fault. It got so bad that they had to lock him up most of the time and they supervised him when they decided to let him out. Dr. Tirta and Dr. Bautista were now becoming afraid of their creation because although he 12, he was much stronger than them and he was smarter. They could tell that he was always plotting something, but they were never sure when he was going to act on his actions.

They made the difficult decision of terminating their experiment. Years of research would go down the drain, but they could start again. That night they tried to sneak up on him and much to their dismay, there was no way to actually kill him. His skin was too tough to use a needle on and he could tell that something was wrong. He turned on them and he killed the ones who made him. He ate parts of them and when he realized what he did he had to leave. Not really knowing what to do, he took their keys and he ran out of their home. Before he left he took Dr. Kamon’s notebook and ran. He learned that his “fathers” actual name was Kamon Eko, so he decided to call himself that instead of “Subject A”. Over the course of a few years, Eko raised and lived by himself. His Demon and Shershen’ DNA gave him the ability to learn how to fund for himself. To survive he ate animals, which seemed to keep him sated. He was stealthy enough to steal the things that he needed like clothes and water, and he managed to steal two curved Machetes that he used as weapons. As an adult, Animals couldn’t satisfy his hunger, so he decided to attack and eat humans, starting off with elderly people who would walk by the jungle and then he started moving on to people who were his age. It was by chance that he got the scent of this drug dealer. He was fascinated by him and he stalked him for a while. He wondered how he tasted because he took really good care of himself. He managed to use the rafters to sneak into a meeting that the drug dealer was in and he had his sights on him. He was close enough to grab him when he heard a noise and someone else took his kill with a rifle. He was upset by this, so he decided to hunt down the person who took his kill. It took him weeks, but he finally caught up with him. By breaking into his home and snooping around, he learned that the guy who took his kill was a Mercenary by the name of Reggie Vasilakis, and he was pretty good. Not having anything to do, Eko decided to follow him around. Eventually, Reggie caught on to this and they got into a fight. Eko was surprised to meet someone who was as strong as him, and they nearly killed one another. Reggie asked him why he was following him. Eko didn’t really explain, but he asked if he could travel with him.

Reggie objected at first, but then he agreed because he saw that this guy was an asset. Whatever he was, he was good. It took skill to stalk him and to nearly kill him too. He agreed and they have been partners ever since. Reggie seems to accept the fact that Eko is a good friend.

First off, as a formatting suggestion I’d take out some of the spaces between certain sections – particularly in the beginning of the profile. Putting line breaks inbetween every section makes the profile take up a lot of room, and certain blocks of information tend to work better as groups (such as the physical description and personal details in the first half). It keeps all the similar details concentrated in smaller areas, making them easier to read and find later as reference material.

Moving into the actual profile information, let’s start with Kamon’s Alias. Despite Kamon’s name not actually being his, having his alias for that assumed name just be his last name doesn’t really work. Calling someone by their last name is just a regular (if more formal) form of addressing someone. If Kamon wanted to hide his assumed identity, having an alias that’s not attached to the name he’s taken for himself would be a better choice.

I’d advise reviewing the subsequent sections to trim up repetitious bits and shift around information that might be better used elsewhere. For example, in the Appearance section Kamon’s height and weight are listed despite that they’re already included earlier in the profile. Later, in the Other Relationships section the comments explaining the context of Kamon’s relationship with Luka would be better served in an actual Relationships section. The Other Relationships blurb is just to give a name drop and establish what kind of relationship there is (which is already done with the description of ‘mortal enemies’). The context of why their relationship is like that can be explored in more depth later in the profile where there’s room for an in-depth description.

Kamon has a very distinct Appearance, and I like how much you highlighted the inhuman aspects of his physiology (nails, mandibles, insectile torso legs). Still, there’s little to not mentioned regarding how these things affect his daily life. In particular the five inch long poisonous nails. How has Kamon adjusted to life with these appendages? Can he retract them? If not, do they make certain every day tasks (opening a door, using a keyboard, or writing something down) more difficult? How is he able to work on cars as a mechanic if the nails keep getting in the way? He’s had them since he was born, so while it makes sense that he’s used to dealing with his nails and knows how to use them Kamon is still inhabiting a world that wasn’t really meant for people with physiology like his. Also, I’m confused as to why he needs knives if he’s already got poisonous nails – his hands are already basically a set of knives (and beyond that, would seemingly make holding said knives very difficult). Are they special knives made for him? Does Kamon use some kind of special technique to use them?

Continuing on the topic of physiology, I’m a little confused as to where Kamon’s demonic aspects come in. Are they they the ’heightened senses, enhanced reflexes, and an almost unending appetite’ mentioned in his Abilities section? If so, that needs to be specified. Does he have any other demonic attributes, or are those the limits of his demon-powers? It’s mentioned that he’s weak to extreme cold due to being part Sershen, but what weaknesses Kamon has (if any) due to being part demon are not similarly covered.

Speaking of covered, Kamon’s personality seems to cover a lot of contradictory ground. It’s mentioned that he never speaks (to the point where people assume he’s mute), yet also talks a lot. About what, and to who? It makes sense that he only opens up to select people, but the details still need to be there. He’s described as having helped Reggie in numerous missions and protected him many times despite also always being absent-minded and secretly wanting to eat the man he protects. Kamon is a loyal, good friend who’d never hurt the people he cares about, except he’s also perfectly fine with stalking strangers as food. His only listed motivation is to be with Reggie, to the point that he fears death because it would deprive Reggie of being with ‘his good friend’ – except Kamon still wants to eat Reggie and when they first met Reggie effectively stole Kamon’s prey (which would seemingly be a big no-no for someone as predatory as Kamon). That’s a really stark jump from Kamon stalking Reggie and breaking into his house to suddenly wanting to be best friends with the guy. All of this paints a pretty inconsistent picture for Kamon. On one hand he’s presented as an unrepentant serial killer who eats people without remorse, on the other he’s an extremely devoted protector who’d sacrifice himself if need be, and there’s not a lot of connectivity in the middle. The only reason given for why Kamon decided to hang out with Reggie instead of kill him was ‘Why not?’ That doesn’t add anything to Kamon’s characterization. Characterization arises when they address narrative hurdles, not just sidestep around them. Delving deeper into Kamon’s identity would help resolve these issues and connect the diverging aspects of his character. Does he struggle with wanting to eat people? Does Reggie try to help him control these urges? Are there people or species that he refuses to eat? Has Reggie ever protected Kamon, and if so how has that impacted their relationship?

Similar issues exist within Kamon’s History section. Namely how the doctors handled the experiment that made him in the first place. It doesn’t really make sense that they’d not know how to feed Kamon, given that they’re both supposed to be experts in their respective fields. After all, they knew what one of the DNA sources was and were able to make accurate estimations as to the second. Beyond that, having had many years of watching Kamon grow to assess his capabilities, I also don’t understand why they were unable to contain with him. Their being unable to manage Kamon or have any failsafes in place makes the scientists who made him seem incompetent. Beyond that, Kamon’s influential memory of being labeled a 'monster’ by said scientists really doesn’t hold much impact given his personality and actions. With all of the violence he’s committed and how much he’d go on to commit, it mostly just seems accurate. If all they’ve ever seen him as is an experiment, why does he care what they think about him anyway?

Beyond that, there’s the entire issue of Kamon tracking Reggie down, the two of them nearly killing each other, and then suddenly becoming travel buddies that also sticks out. Especially so when Kamon doesn’t even explain why he was there in the first place. Suddenly becoming partners because the guy who nearly killed you could be useful in the future doesn’t seem like prudent planning for someone purported to be an expert mercenary (and beyond that gives all the agency over to Reggie instead of letting Kamon make his own choices). I’d suggest revising their first meeting into something less drastic, or actually having Kamon explain himself. If he and Reggie spoke with one another rather than just privately assessed each other, it would make their respective judgment calls that much more easy to understand.

There’s a lot of contrasting elements here that I think need to be addressed. First and foremost should be giving Kamon a more cohesive personality. While it’s understandable that he’d have some issues and differences having grown up in a lab disconnected from the outside world, he still lived in it for a long time afterwords. Having absolutely no motivations or desires beyond 'protect Reggie’ and 'eat people’ doesn’t give readers anything to connect with (or much of a character arc to expand on). Giving Kamon a concrete Occupation, even if it is just 'Mercenary’ or 'Professional Tracker’ would provide him with an additional sense of purpose as well. Also, what personality aspects are already present likewise need to be explained in more detail. Namely all of the skills and hobbies that Kamon has collected (being a mechanic, knowing martial arts, how to knife fight, etc.). Addressing when and how he learned these things would help a lot. Did Reggie teach him? Is this stuff that they bonded over? Is any of this stuff he just learned in his wanderings before meeting Reggie? If so, where and from who?

All in all, Kamon’s profile is unfinished. There are a lot of important details that are absent, other details that are present are under-explained, and his personality could use a lot of rounding out. I will admit that characters like Kamon (the whole 'grew up in a lab isolated from everyone’ schtick) can be difficult to write given that by concept they are inherently blank slates. However the point of the narrative is to fill that space in. He may have started out blank, but that just means you can go anywhere with him and that’s what makes those characters so fun to write.

Keep working on it, and feel free to revise it and send it back in. I’d be happy to re-review Kamon and am interested in seeing what you can do with him. I hope this helps!

-D

#SOC Critique #OC Critique #Backstory Help #Development Help #General Help #submission #yokaigemini

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