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momoshin · 3 years

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give in — ryujin

“where’ve you been? you reek” all of the members look up at you as yeji starts when you enter thru the door, and she’s right. you smell of sex and sweat not to mention your bra is missing, the zipper of your jacket is undone and your hair is no longer perfectly straight but tucked messily into your beanie and hood.

“just out” you breathe, you hear her hum and watch her nod into her book and everyone else resume their positions before walking to your shared room with chaeryeong to grab a change of clothes and shower, something you hadn’t been able to do in your friend’s apartment considering her roomates would be there soon.

you were ready to go to bed. so tired from all the practice and the extra curricular acfivities you had been up to today, it’s only 9 pm but your bed sounds so good right now you wouldn’t mind sleeping enough to wake up at the crack of dawn tomorrow, even if it meant having to make breakfast for the others. sadly, your members had other plans, because chaeryeong peeks her head into the room and says a simple “meeting in yeji’s room” before leaving, the door ajar waiting for you.

you groan and sigh and curse softly before walking out, wondering on your way there why in her room and not in the kitchen like usual, and the answer that receives you when you enter the leader’s room makes you regret slamming your room’s door when you got out. yuna’s not there, probably sleeping, and you’re in trouble, most likely.

“hey guys” you start, chuckling nervously as you sit on ryujin’s bed. “yuna’s birthday isn’t for another 11 months”

“we actually wanted to talk about you” lia starts from her spot leaning against the wall, chaeryeong on yeji’s bed, with ryujin and yeji just standing there looking at you with her arms crossed.

“uh,, sure” you try to look as calm as possible, waiting for any bombs to drop from their lips.

“who were you with, the truth this time” as expected, it’s yeji who asks, her gaze hard and intimidating as they all wait for you to respond.

“unnie i told you, out” shrugging, you roll your eyes “walking, if that helps”

“y/n, im being serious. where were you, who were you with? you were obviously doing something or someone if you didn’t tell any of us beforehand”

“since when do we announce our individual outings?” you start “all of you have gone out alone and not once have you told me where, and you don’t see me interrogate you for that”

“yeah but we don’t come home smelling of sex and looking like we were hiding from the paps” it’s chaeryeong this time, your roomate, your closest friend out of the five to throw you under the bus, and she’s no longer beside ryujin but next to yeji, her eyes also demanding answers and explanations.

“what the fuck chaer?” you sigh, rubbing your temples “yeah, i was out having sex tonight, that what you wanted to hear?”

“with who” yeji pries, arms still crossed over her chest. ryujin hasn’t spoken all this time, and lia scoffs at your answers every now and then, her arms mirroring yeji’s as she stays further back, one of her legs posted to support her on the wall.

“with a friend” you shrug again.

“just tell us who y/n” lia groans.

“im not telling you who it is!” it’s not funny, girly, gossip. it’s them furiously prying because they’re worried you getting caught might hurt the group.

“why not?” chaeryeong yells back at you

“because!” you sigh, exasperated, before getting yourself together and lowering your voice “we made a deal, i wouldn’t tell my members and neither would they”

“so it is an idol” yeji nods at your slip, as if she knew this whole time.

“oh fuck off” falling back on the mattress, you cover your face with your hands and curse at yourself for being so stupid and letting them get to you.

“is it a sunbaenim? a woman? or a boy?”

“oh my god” you groan at lia’s persistent voice, promising yourself you would not crack this time and would stand your ground. “im not saying anything else”

“it’s not a guy” chaeryeong says, and the four of you look at her because, how the fuck does she know?

“how do you know?” yeji reads your mind.

“she just looks different. we don’t really notice if she’s been with a guy she just tells us” and she’s right, not that they know of all your sexcapades, and not that they know most of them are women, but they’ve never noticed something’s off when it’s been a guy.

“oh” lia and yeji nod slowly, taking it all in. “so, is it a sunbaenim? from twice? a soloist? trainee?”

“actually that’s gross. the fact that you think i’d fuck a trainee” just at the thought, you shudder, or maybe it’s the thought of that one time, at her group’s mention, you can’t help but remember that time you had nayeon’s legs around your head... her pus— no, there’s no time for that right now. you shake the dirty memories out of your head, and rub your legs together to release the growing tension between them, and look up at them, already thinking of how to avoid their next question.

“we’re not gonna stop until you cave” yeji shrugs

“well im not” you lift your chin proudly, crossing your arms.

“yeah, you will.” lia starts. “because if not we will tell on you with manager-nim”

“you wouldn’t” gasping, you uncross your arms.

“don’t test me” she shrugs. you knew she would, but she couldn’t know you were bluffing. “so come on. spit it out”

“unnie, im being careful!” you raise your voice a little, already upset at the fact that they wouldn’t give it a rest.

“that’s useless y/n. every single person who’s ever been caught doing something wrong has been ‘careful” yeji says, quoting the word careful with her fingers.

“loona” and like you called her name, ryujin’s head snaps up, her mind already making up a million scenarios of you fucking the few friends she had in that group. what’s worse? she enjoys every single one of them. she wishes she could’ve been there to at least watch. though she quickly vanishes them from her head when she notices your members looking at her for the same reason, her friends.

“i didn’t fuck heejin, or hyunjin” you clarify, wanting to bring them peace or at least ryujin, but only the other three slump their shoulders in relief at your confession. “but, im not telling you who i did.” letting your hands fall on your thighs, you get up and closer to the door. “goodnight”

“where are you going? we’re not done” she catches your wrist before you can swing the door open, pulling you back to where you were before, in front of her and a little bit closer to ryujin.

“are you kidding me?” you scoff at yeji. “none of you wanted to fuck me, so i went out and found someone who did, it was good so i kept going back. you’ve never noticed until today and if you didn’t no one else did. im good at what im doing. hell! i’ve fucked half the people in this industry and none of you knew until i just said it!! leave me alone”

but before you can actually turn around and leave, ryujin quickly stands up, surprising all five of you when she smashes her lips against yours. one hand on your hair and one on your ass, squeezing expertly. the other three are just in shock as you are, but she tastes so good and her hands feel good against you, even when she sneaks one up your tshirt to rub at your already hardened nipples because of the cold, and you try to hold it but you can’t, eventually moaning and melting in her hold, that was rough and heavy but in a good way, making you wrap your arms around her neck.

“guys- what the fuck-“

“get out” ryujin groans against your lips, her hands tightening on your ass and tits, lips no longer on yours but so close that if you leaned just a little bit you could taste them again, you’re shameless really, and tomorrow you’ll probably hide from them all because you don’t think twice about your members in the room before joining your lips with hers again in another wet, hot kiss.

“ryujin that’s not a good-“

“she said she wanted to be fucked. so i will. get out” the words are barely mumbled, because she’s too busy getting back to your lips to care if they understand, because she’s too eager as she puts the other hand inside your pijama shorts feeling the lack of underwear and then your wet folds, throwing her head back and breaking your kiss to groan at the feeling. “fuck— leave”

you don’t expect them to actually, and you don’t really notice, you’re too preoccupied with the feeling of the pads of her fingers on your clit slowly making circles to notice, and its only when you hear a loud scoff and the door slightly slam closed that you realized they did leave– after all, if the door slam woke yuna up they probably would find a way to distract her from going in the room.

“was it good? hm? was she good?” you gasp, because she’s roughly turned you around to press her front against your back, her hand wrapping around your neck before the other goes back into your shorts, her fingers too slow for your liking as they dip in to gather some of your slick to spread around your lips and clit. “i asked you a question”

throwing your head against her shoulder, you bite your lip before taking a deep breath to answer, letting out a much too soft “yea” to her question

“do you think she could be better than me?”

“i dunno, you’ve never touched me” rolling your eyes, you turn your head to look at her now that her hand has stopped moving.

“is that what we’re saying now?-“

“we were trainees ryu. you said it was a mistake” you sigh, already thinking this was not going where you thought it was “are you going to touch me or should i go get myself off?”

“hm” she chuckles, kissing your cheek dangerously soft with her grip on your neck and jaw tightening slightly. “you’re never going back to her after im done with you.”

“i hope that’s a promise you keep”

“shut up” her voice is rougher, not sweet and playful like usual, just rough. “bend over the bed.”

you do as told, wanting to get back on her good side. it’s quite a sight, watching your shorts ride up enough for her to see your asscheeks falling out of them. she’s too comfortable, for a ‘first time’ but at this point, neither of you care, you want her, you have for a very long time, you’re too desperate to go over basics. you’re so desperate, that just her fingers running from the back of your thigh to your asscheek makes you shiver and gives you goosebumps.

“you’re dripping” she points out the obvious. “i can see it through your shorts.”

“so touch me ryujinnie, please” you’re backing up into her hand, begging for something, anything at this point.

she hums, finally pulling your shorts off your legs, immediately salivating at the sight of your pussy glistening, clit swollen at the lack of attention. “look at you, what do you want?”

“you, please” she chuckles after that, and you wonder if she even heard you with how small your voice had turned.

“are these hers?” she asks, hands pressing against recent hand prints on your ass, making your hips buck forward, startled.

“yeah” you sigh, wanting her to go over them at least once. “didn’t hit me hard enough”

“can i try?”

“please” that’s all it takes. she rubs circles on one of your asscheeks before her hand raises and falls with a heavinly burn against your skin, eliciting a louder whimper out of you. every spank leaves a sting more enjoyable than the last, and you’re soon backing your ass up against her hand for more.

“what do you say?” she holds her hand at a safe distance from your ass, waiting for you to answer correctly before slapping the red skin

“t-thank you” a gasp is what you let out when she strikes her hand against your ass once again.

“good girl” she smiles, full of pride. “now turn around and spread your legs for me”

you stumble across pillows on the bed and such, too eager to be careful right now, and position yourself on your back, legs wide open for her with a hand going down to spread your wetness around your lips

“don’t do that” she slaps your hand away, getting on her knees to be face to face with your pussy. she only spits on it, as if you needed more lubrication, spreading it with two of her fingers, too slow for your liking.

she watches the way you sigh and whimper whenever she grazes against your clit or hole, the way you lift your head from her pillow and plead with your eyes for her to give you what you wanted. and her standing up to retrieve a pretty pink dildo from her drawer wasn’t what you expected, not that you didn’t want it. the black straps only surprise you more, and the sight of her tightening the straps and positioning the toy where she wanted it was making your wetness grow tenfold.

she rests the tip of it and taps it against your clit repeatedly, only making you sigh in between relief and want, your eyes sparkling and lashes fanning pretty to lure her into finally fucking you like she had promised. the look on both your faces as she slowly pushes in is priceless, you’re too overwhelmed to react and she’s too turned on, salivating at the way your lips swallow the pink toy slowly and fully. “next time, you come to me” she grunts, hand squishing your cheeks together while the other squeezes your side, her hips starting to slowly thrust in and out, pulling out entirely just to fill you to the brim with the plastick cock “no more sneaking out and worrying us sick just to find out some other girl has been fucking this pretty pussy, yeah?”

“mhm” your eyes are shut tight, your mouth wide open, you’re probably even drooling, her lips around your nipple suckling and her teeth digging into your skin in a delicious pain that has you gasping and pushing your chest further into her mouth, hands wrapping around her neck, and you whine when she inevitably pulls away

“good” she hums, tongue running over her lips as she fucks you...”gonna fuck you stupid baby” and her hips speed up, she’s intimidating in some way and it’s so fucking hot, the way she looks down on you, smirking because she knows she has you eating from her hand. she takes her time, speeding and slowing the thrusts of her hips, playing with your clit and sensitive nipples, teasing you when at the edge of your orgasm, edging you over and over again because she liked to see you suffer. “should i let you cum?”

“p-please.” your voice is so soft, so whiny, and she adores it, the fact that it’s all because of her.

“i dunno, it’s not like you earned it” her strokes are so slow, yet so hard. she tickles your g-spot with the tip of the toy every time, it feels good, but you want more

“i’ll make u-up for it. please just let m-me cum”

“you gonna go back to her??”

“n-no. never-r” your voice is broken, and you hope it expresses how much you need to cum right now. and if you were to take a guess by the way she’s speeding up, torturing your clit as well. it did. the sounds of skin slapping soon floods the room and the air reeks once again of sex and sweat. it’s hot, but you’re for some reason shaking, maybe it’s the approaching orgasm, and how it’s so much stronger because of her edging you, making you shake and whine, hands on her abs as if pushing her away to prevent her from keep fucking you through your orgasm.

she’s chuckling, kissing your temple and cheek, nose and lower until she reaches your lips, catching all your breathy moans and whimpers as you finally calmed down. ryujin pulls out carefully, finally pressing a cheeky kiss to your clit that makes your body jolt and stutter..

#ryujin !#ryujin smut #itzy smut #kpop smut #ryujin imagine #ryujin imagines #my stuff #gg smut #fem!reader

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sunriseskog · 5 years

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comethru- Auston Matthews

Request: n/a this was entirely self induglent bc im sad and ive had comethru by Jermey Zucker stuck in my head for weeks

Word Count: 2,267

Warnings: cursing, angst, dudes being assholes, mentions of tr*ding auston

A/N: ive been on hiatus for a long ass time so any feedback is more than welcome!!!! also i am fully aware that i used this gift for my last post but its hot and i dont care

It had been a little over a month since Auston left. No… that’s not quite right. It had been a little over a month since Auston left Toronto. It had been just barely under a month since you had left Auston.

You weren’t entirely sure who the trade surprised more, but you did know for a fact that it had had a far greater effect on you than it had on Auston.

He had remained optimistic in the beginning. After all, Buffalo is barely a 2-hour drive on a bad day. On a good day, he could probably make it in an hour and a half. But the two of you had quickly reached the conclusion that either of you driving 4+ hours a day wasn’t practical, and it wasn’t fair to whoever drew the short end of the stick, pun intended. You knew he would never ask you to move for him, hell even moving in together had been a stretch for you, but you also knew that there was an unspoken expectation that eventually the both of you would relocate closer to the arena.

Before he had even reached the border, you had managed to convince yourself that this short distance relationship would cripple your relationship before you could even begin filling out the US immigration forms to move with him, let alone actually convince yourself to do it. So you backed off. You knew that trying to exhaust what was left of the relationship would only end up destroying you the both of you more than was necessary, so you let go. You knew it wouldn’t take him long to pick up on the fact that you were becoming distant, taking longer to respond to texts, barely calling him back and conveniently timing your responses with the specific intention of him not being able to pick up. You may have been stupid, but you sure as hell weren’t subtle. You knew that as long you were the bad guy in the scenario, it wouldn’t take him nearly as long to get over you, and as long as you remained in control of the situation, you knew that you’d come out of the tail end of things perfectly fine.

And you were. You were absolutely, positively fine. But that was all you were. You weren’t good or great or doing well, you were just… fine. You were off-kilter, sure, but you were surviving, and that was honestly all you had come to ask of yourself. You were sure that the other shoe would drop soon enough, you had ridden the high and now you were at the plateau, but the comedown seemed to always be lurking around the corner.

One too many sleepless nights in a row had come to significantly impact your sleeping schedule. It had gotten to the point where your boss had come to expect your work day to end at 5 am instead of 5 pm. It was nice, though. To see the city when it felt like no one else could. To have your whole day to yourself, even though it was technically night. Everything was much quieter, and there were moments where it felt like you might be the only person in the entire city to be awake, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You rarely interacted with anyone, you didn’t even wake up until hours after the last of your coworkers had left the building, and every errand you had to run could be completed via the self-checkout of the 24 hr supermarket a few blocks away from your apartment building. You weren’t lonely by any means, you just so happened to be alone.

Except on game nights. You were never alone on game nights. Luckily, there weren’t very many Toronto residents that enjoyed watching one of their franchise players play in a different teams jersey, but you still couldn’t help but punish yourself by watching his games whenever they were on at the sports bar you frequented. You told yourself that as long as someone else put the game on, and as long as you left with someone new before the game was over, then it wasn’t nearly as pathetic as it seemed.

An issue arose the first time Toronto played the Sabres. You hadn’t checked the schedule, you just knew that there was a game. You also knew that if you were ever alone when a game was on you would curl up with far too much ice cream and a borderline dangerous amount of rum, neither of which were ideal. Immediately upon entering the bar, you knew that it was far too crowded for there to not be a Leafs game on, it was nowhere near baseball season, and the sea of blue jerseys couldn’t be for any other team. An involuntary wince consumed your face as Auston’s name reached your ears, it seemed like every congregation of fans in the entire establishment were talking about him, and a cursory glance at the nearest screen confirmed your fears.

The bad news was that if you stayed, you would have to watch Auston play, which was bound to be painful for any Leafs fan, but this one would hurt you just a little more than all the others— the knowledge that he was just across the city weighed heavily on your shoulders as you pushed through the crowd to find an empty stool somewhere. The worse news was that there was no way in hell a single guy in here would be willing to leave before the game was over, so you’d either have to watch all of it and then fuck the feelings away, or go home and watch all of it and probably end up crying for a majority of the third period. The former seemed like a more viable option at the time.

Now, though? You wished you had just gone home. Because it turns out you were wrong, there was a dude at the bar who was willing to leave before the end, as it would turn out, he was ready to leave before the second period was halfway through. That should have been your first red flag.

In your defense, you had a lot of other shit going on, and your brain was far too preoccupied coping with the stress that the game was bringing to consider the fact that the nice guy who had been paying for your drinks might not turn out to be that nice after all.

On the cab ride back to your apartment, you found out that his name was Sam and he was a lifelong Leafs fan. The two of you bonded over having grown up around hockey without actually playing it, and you even shared a cigarette at the entrance of your building’s lobby. It wasn’t until the two of you stepped into your living room that things took a turn for the worse.

The framed and signed Matthews jersey on the mantle had been more of a joke than anything else, all of your friends thought it was funny while the two of you were together, and you hadn’t had anyone over since the breakup, so you hadn’t found a reason to convince yourself to take it down. The look of disgust on Sam’s face as soon as he laid eyes on it would have been a fairly convincing reason if you actually gave a shit what he thought about you.

“That’s borderline sacrilege,” he commented, gesturing towards the display. You shot him an incredulous look, waiting for him to give any indication that he was making a joke.

“What?” You questioned, not really confused, just wanting to clarify if he was saying. What you thought he was saying.

“You can’t seriously call yourself a leafs fan and still support that guy! He’s a traitor,” He asserted. His over passionate gesturing indicated that he was genuinely this invested in the topic, which should have been your second red flag.

“I mean c’mon, (Y/N),” He continued. “You’re not stupid, are you?”

You couldn’t help but scoff at how pretentious and condescending he was being, without seeming to realize that he was acting like an absolute prick.

“I can assure you, Samuel,” You drawled sarcastically. “I am anything but stupid, but you have got to be absolutely moronic if you genuinely believe that I’m going to let you fuck me after speaking to me like I'm a goddamn child. Your kinks are your business but that's not really my style,” you sneered as you moved towards the doorway in order to invite him to throw himself out so you didn’t have to bother touching him any more than you already had.

“Now why don’t you get the fuck out of my house, dick head,” You spoke as your lip curled and your brow quirked, gesturing through the doorway to drive the point through his thick skull.

“Gladly,” He scoffed, slamming his shoulder into yours as he stepped past you. “Not like I’d want to fuck a whore like you anyways!” He shouted over his should as he started towards the stairs.

“Open your mouth that wide again and I’m gonna have to ask you to chortle my cock, Samuel” You responded, giving a middle finger to his back for your own satisfaction. You had never been one to censor your insults, and over the years they had become more and more lewd. This, of course, had never really presented itself as a problem until you caught the eye of your neighbor as you turned to storm back inside of your apartment. You couldn’t help but wince apologetically at the old woman, giving her a repentant head nod as you shuffled back inside.

You let your back hit the inside of the door, sliding roughly down until your tailbone hit the hardwood floor beneath your feet. Of course, the first substantial interaction you had in over a month would turn out to be a spectacular disaster. And of course, it was because of Auston. Realistically, you knew it wasn’t his fault, you just really really needed someone else to blame right now. You carded your fingers through your scalp roughly, and let out an elongated groan in the hopes that it would satisfy the overwhelming urge that you had had to scream at the top of your lungs for the past month or so.

As you stared at your own intertwined fingers in an attempt to calm yourself down, you couldn’t help but notice that your fingers were shaking. This wasn’t a recent development by any means, but this was the first time that you had noticed it being this aggressive. It usually only happened when you had coffee, which was why you had abstained from it for a majority of your life. As you looked back on what your routine had become, you realized that through all the late nights and later mornings, you had been popping caffeine pills and ordering espressos far more than the ‘one-time thing’ you told yourself it was. The realization that your life had done a complete 180 in the span of 5 weeks began to weigh on you, and it seemed like your mind was consumed entirely by flurries of memories of bad habits you had fallen back into and the lifeless moments you had spent floundering, convincing yourself that you were fine on your own, despite the fact that that was anything but the truth.

It didn’t take very long to find his contact picture in your recent messages. You hadn’t had much of a reason to talk to that many people lately. It took longer to open up the message thread, trying to prepare yourself to view the unbearably awkward finality of your most recent messages to each other. The preview underneath his name only served as a painful reminder that the last time he had texted you was to say that he loved you. And you hadn’t said it back.

You weren’t sure if he was going to respond, hell you went sure he was even going to read it. For all you knew it was entirely within the realm of possibility that he had blocked you a while ago. You knew exactly what to say, surprisingly, that wasn’t the hard part. Of the few letters that you typed, the closer you got to reaching out to him again seemed to calm you down more and more. By the time you tacked on the question mark at the end, your fingers had stopped trembling for there first time in what you could assume had been at least a couple of weeks. You let your phone drop to the floor as soon as you hit send, either he would be here within the hour or his response wouldn’t be worth reading. Those were the only options on the table. Either he was going to come and the two of you were going to get to be okay for a little while, or it truly was the end. If that was the case then you really didn’t want to see what he had to say. You heard your phone vibrate from where it laid just a couple feet away, and as much as the desire consumed you, you couldn’t bring yourself to move to see what it said. So you sat there, and waited to see if you would be able to hear those oh so familiar footsteps ascending your staircase again, responding to your oh so familiar request.

‘come thru?’

#i am literally begging you to tell me what you think #auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #Toronto Maple Leafs #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #imagines #imagine

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diregate · 5 years

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Tarot Reading Commissions now up

So after much thought and even much much more hesitation (and a lot of positive motivation by a lot of people), I’ve decided to open up tarot reading commissions. This will serve as a way to keep myself stable, both mentally and financially, as I am staying by myself while studying in university. The amount I get from doing this will tend towards alleviating costs of living (this place doesn’t come with a kitchen, so most of my foods are instant foods/takeouts) and purchasing of study materials if the need arises.

Stuffing everything below the read-more, because this post is getting long.

Disclaimers on tarot reading: I do not read minds or the future, the cards do not read minds or the future.

I personally have no experience in doing fortune spreads e.g. Twelvesmoon spread (or any equivalent that involves ‘how will this month of the year look like’, that’s for horoscopes). If you really want to, I won’t say no, but just take it with a huge grain of salt, since even I don’t really trust those.

There are possibilities when my reads are completely off, and if I am, I apologize. I cannot agree on refunds, but I will however leave the commissioner to decide to pay before or after a reading session.

What can I do for you?

I have two versions of reads to offer to people who are interested: Simple and Complex spreads.

The simple spreads are, well, simple. They are fast, elegant and great if you want to skip out on the unnecessary clutter that comes with reading tarots. The simple spreads I offer usually use only 2-4 cards. If we are reading real-time (I’ll come to this point later), it may take about 5-10 minutes from shuffling.

For simple spreads, you ask me what you are looking for. If you have a particular spread you would like to choose for me to use, let me know as well. These questions can be specific or vague, but being more specific helps in the reading, and deciding the spread to use.

The complex spreads are a little different. In real-time reading, this can take minimally 30 minutes for me to finish reading it all out to you. The spread takes at least 5 cards (as of now, I do not have spreads that exceed 9 cards). If you want your best buck for bite, have been puzzling between several problems, or just really like to see how people read tarots, I recommend this way. I’ve done a decent number of these reads for others.

With these kinds of spreads, I ask you a few short questions, that you can answer with a few words. The first question will always be somewhere along the lines of “Are your problems rooted in the past, or are you more worried of the future consequences?”, and subsequent questions will be adjusted from there. I try my best not to use default lines, so that everyone’s experience can be unique.

How can I do reads for you?

I will offer my Discord to people who are buying a read. Alternatively, Tumblr messenger is also a way to reach for me whether you want to have me post the read there, or if you would like to find me for other reasons. Email is fine too, but only through requests. There are two main methods to how we can arrange this, depending if timezone permits.

Real-time Read: This will be tricky, but more often than not I prefer this style of reading. I say this is tricky because I live in GMT+8 timezone with full time undergraduate studies. (My) Weekends are also off limits for this style of commissions in general due to personal reasons. For a rough gauge, midnight PDT = 3 PM GMT+8.

All reads in this format can be done over iM, and while I do support voice, I have a preference not to as my place can get noisy and disruptive.

Post-read Draft: Easier to handle, especially if time does not permit an arrangement between us. I do the read request, then give you a full script of what I’ve read, through iM or a PDF document sent through email. Most simple spreads can fall under this category, as it’s a much lower density of words and makes for an easy ‘morning coffee’, so to say.

For both, clarifying on certain meanings can be done, just ask me about it.

What are the costs of the commission?

Simple spreads cost 5 USD, while complex spreads cost 15 USD. Prices can be negotiated if needed.

Real-time reads and post-read drafts do not affect prices. Nor do the decks I use. Clarification of reads do not cost anything as well.

Payment can be done before or after the reading session. Tips are also welcome. Most payments would be done through Paypal.

What cards do I use?

For those interested, I use the Lost Tarot of Nostradamus deck, and the Steampunk deck. I am also currently learning on using the Tyrian Tarot deck as a support deck. As such, most of my spreads come from these three, though I also experiment and invent custom-tailored spreads for some more specific requests.

I’m unfortunately not putting links in, in case the post disappears because of Tumblr algorithms, but they should come up easily in searches.

For those who are interested, I implore you to ask; for those who would like to commission me, I thank you for it; for those who are taking a passing glance, I’d enjoy if you spread the word.

#tarot comms

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dorkcresswxll · 6 years

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i went...... hard y’all this is so extra and embarrassing but i spent like,, over an hour writing this down so ur all gonna see it u better.

Why did you choose to play the character that you do at Crimson Revolt?

im gonna be honest like………………………………. i picked dirk bc i wanted to play ezra miller lmao. I KNOW HOW SHALLOW THAT IS DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT OKAY I CAN EXPLAIN!!!!!!!! alright so before i apped for crt the first time i was at…… a pretty low place confidence-wise bc i’d just left the first rpg i ever joined (also the first rp thing i ever did) and it was a pretty,,,, messy departure lmaoo i gotta admit i could’ve handled that better orz. BUT ANYWAY so i went looking through the ezra miller fc tag bc i’d just discovered this fabulous person and had vague ideas about a character that could fit the fc (dramatic, cheeky, a lil flamboyant) and was also thinking “i will never fall in love with a character the way i did my previous ones again” and more dramatic bullshit along those line bc like i said,,, bad time. obviously i didn’t find any active rpgs that had him in use so i checked crt bc i’d seen it around before and liked the look of it, so i sent the main an ask like “do you see ezra miller working for any of your open characters?” the admin at the time pointed me to barty crouch, peter pettigrew and dirk cresswell.

i just want to take a moment to digest that i could literally have played any of these three, cause all i had at the time was a vague idea of a character and a fc to match. i remember i spent days trying to decide between barty and dirk cause neither skeleton fit my vision perfectly and they both seemed aimed more towards an angry jock-type character (especially dirk his fc was miles teller which…. should give u a good idea of what the admin at the time had in mind for him) ( i mean the first skeleton. the one on the main now is one i rewrote after the main crashed back in june.) (just to clarify: the original skeleton had just as much potential to evolve to a complex and intriguing character as any other skeleton here at crt. i just had my vaguely dramatic ezra miller bby and i wanted it. lmao.) but i liked challenging set characterizations and bringing unique perspectives to contrast against any expectations the admin/s might have about a character. which is why i tend to go for skeleton rps, you get more freedom with those. eventually i decided on dirk bc i liked the sound of aversio and grey moralities appeal to me greatly. i spent a long time delving into the character’s backstory and personality and all those deep-seated insecurities and compelling contradictions that make dirk up to be the person he is now. by the time i submitted the app i was thoroughly in love with the character and haven’t stopped since. he’s my most developed and my most beloved character to play thus far.

Do you have a favorite holiday?

NOPE. as long as im surrounded by people i love and a lot of snacks im good.

Do you prefer coffee or tea? Perhaps neither, or both?

coffee. coffee coffee coffee.

What is your personality type?

INFP-T. the mediator. 86% introverted lmaooo.

What is your Hogwarts House?

ahhh. when i first read the books a few years ago i was like ‘iM A SLYTHERIN DONT TOUCH ME!!!!!’ but i…………literally have the subtlety of a bulldozing stampede of rhinos im sure y’all noticed. i took the pottermore test and had the glaring red n gold show up on my face and i shut the laptop down so fast like liES I BELIEVE NONE OF THIS. then i took a fan-made test that put me in ravenclaw and i was like…………….. ok i accept this compromise i can work with that. lmao im such a gryffindor tho don’t look at me im just *flops* pottermore was right….. i accept my place now i have stopped running from the truth orz.

What is your Zodiac Sign?

Taurus.

Three most recently watched on Netflix?

SURPRISE! i don’t have netflix. most recent stuff i watched tho are Stranger Things 2, IT (2017) and…. i can’t remember orz. but im obsessed with stranger things taLK TO ME ABOUT STEVE HARRINGTON PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH *SOBS*

Describe your ride-or-die friend.

don’t call me out like this…………………………………. i don’t make friends in real life people are difficult and i am awkward orz.

If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?

the ability to focus whenever i want at whatever i want for however long i want and actually manage to be productive with my time. what do u mean this is not a superpower i need it to be one.

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

i have no sleep schedule to speak of. sometimes i sleep at five am and wake up at eight am to get to my classes, then have a six hour nap when i get home and stay up until four am again. sometimes i go to bed on eight pm and wake up at four in the morning and still sleep through my classes, take a small four hour nap when im home and spend obligatory time with the fam for a couple hours lmao. it’s like im just sleeping or waking up either way im always a step removed from a zombie. there is. no reason for any of this i just do it.

What is your favorite color?

YELLOW. it’s so bright and sunny and iouwodc. i love it.

What is the last book you read? What is your favorite?

ahhhh i can’t remember my memory is failing me. which is sad cause i used to pick up a new novel every other day but i just can’t be bothered anymore ugh. i think my favorite was the whole PJO & HoO series’ – i haven’t read the last book yet tho, so i’ll start rereading all ten books when i get the chance.

Where would you rather be right now?

on a bed. sleeping. alone. with a lot of blankets. solitude appeals to me on such a deep level guys u don’t even know.

Have you ever watched the sunrise?

the ones i remember are three – once when i was a kid with my mom, bc i wouldn’t go to sleep and it was approaching sunrise and i rambled about wanting to see the sun come up so my mom was like………………… ‘*throws hands up* ok u lil monster u win’ and took me to the roof to watch the sunrise lol. it was glorious. and cold. bc winter. the second time was with my cousins who were sleeping over (for the first time in a loooong tiiiimmmeeee) and we decided to spend the night up on the roof bc why not. the last time was with my brother i think he was up there fixing something or the other and i was just there….. to be annoying lmao.

Do you listen to music when you write? If yes, what kind of music?

oh no i can’t. i need everything and everyone to be quiet or i can’t write a thing.

What’s the one thing you especially love about roleplaying your muse/s?

what do i love about playing dirk…… his impulsive and his bright attitude and his endless optimism. he has such an uplifting presence and a cheeky sort of charm that makes it impossible for people not to love him, that makes his worming into other people’s hearts so entirely predictable and entertaining to play out. he is a myriad of contradictions – the difference between what he thinks everyone deserves and what he thinks he deserves is appalling, and with time it becomes clear that when he says things like “everyone needs someone to lean on” or “everyone could use some support” he is not referring to himself as a part of this ‘everyone’, if even on a subconscious level, does not find himself worthy of such kindness. he is a character so full of love he is spilling and overflowing with it, his raw emotions and his turbulent nature one of the dearest parts of him to me. the thin line he walks between being kind and violent, loyal and unforgiving, genuine and secretive. all the little details that make him up are reason for me to love him as dearly as i do.

What’s your favorite type of weather?

cold, but not too cold, y’know? just enough to wear a jacket but not so much you spend the night under five covers and a thermometer lmaoo.

What’s your best RP experience?

crt. no contest. and im not just saying that cause i’ve been in a bunch of rpgs by now and they all either a) lack dedicated admins/members b) are cliquey and non-inclusive at all or b) fall into inactivity a meager month or two after opening. crt is one of a kind.

Who inspires you?

this is actually a tough question cause i never really stop to think about it?? i draw inspiration from everything around me and it’s kinda like…. im constantly absorbing stuff from the environment im in and it’s like i’m always half-thinking about writing at any given moment, if that makes sense?? dunno.

Spread some love: mention someone you’ve met that has influenced you or your writing in a positive way and explain how!

ahhh okay so. before i tried roleplaying i stumbled upon this rpg in the fandom tag over a year ago and it’s basically been the catalyst for my time in the rpc. i was looking through the character’s blogs and found someone playing peter and i was like……….. not fond of peter at the time tbh but this person’s writing was so fucking incredible i checked their blog daily, just to see how this thread or that thread would go. their take on a character i’d only held distaste for before was so compelling and complex i was drawn in all the way, i’d even come to love the character so much and was constantly disarmed by the smallest to the biggest details in that person’s characterization – at least the details i could pick up on, some i’m sure went way over my head at the time. some details i still remember vividly and they’ve helped me shape my first character and have influenced my writing thereafter. i learned a lot about the duality of a character’s mind and how to express inner conflict by observing that person’s writing. (yes i sent them a nerdy af message gushing about all that bc they hadda know man…. they hadda know.)

#( ooc.)

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iesharael-blog · 5 years

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Darksouls - 3/16/19

my ex had given me his games to play via steam link back in February and ive been loving darksouls 3 so much that someone bought me my own copy. last week me and him started talking again after he stayed with me during an anxiety attack. heres the highlights:

-I wanted a day a week where we’d catch up just to stay in contact: weve talked every day and other than the past I think 3 days I wouldn't talk unless he initiated and I didn't pry when he would stop answering

-he warned me that he “plays by extremes and very black and white” (I know) and that he will be cold to me:I understood but somethings he said after that hurt... including when I asked about hanging out in person in the future and a fair I want an excuse to go to (months from now) exerpt -

my brain is like hoping for cecil county fair but i have no clue. no clue how even playing together will go

him

Pft you can go ahead and cut that one right out

cut out the fair? | thats like months away | also less of a i wanna hang with you and more of a i love the fair when it comes to that one lol | but i probs have work alot that week so meh

him

Hey man you make plans to go to the fairI just wont be joining

lol | alright | im guessing youre not a fan | im semi offended considering most of my family work at it and i think my uncle [name] runs it

him

Never been, i'm just not going to the fair with an ex, ya know?

i mean the plan would be that its a small group

him

Nope

im just not allowed (and honestly wouldnt) to go alone | i understand man

him

Don't know your peeps | Im good

like ok cool. you were perfectly fine until this day (we started talking again 3/6/19 and this was 3/13/19) and suddenly hes just cold?

after this I asked about what do friends do to hang out. I clarified I asked cause I only hanged out at friends houses and I was honestly curious... he shut me down and said he didn't plan to see me in person any time soon so the topic was irrelevant. then some idle chat and around 7:30 pm he said something like he was glad we were gonna play darksouls cause hes been itching to play it.the next day was the day we were supposed to play darksouls together as we planned...

so im getting sadder and sadder thinking a bunch of scenarios and becoming super anxious. “what if hes testing me to see if I keep messaging him cause that means I probably like him? what if if I keep messaging he gets annoyed with me and doesn't want to talk ever again and blocks me? what if something happened to him??? what if I upset him last night by stopping responding????”

finally I get and answer in the form of “Im sorry im not sure if i'll be on or not. I have work shit that's going on and has bled ovee unto my night | I'm sorry | I was really looking forward to this”

gone was the cold. there was the man I remembered in those few lines. apologetic and kind. it felt like all this time id been talking to someone else as he lays his heart out giving me a few details about what happened at work and telling me he will send me the hr report without me even asking. I was his confidant and comfort again. then came that humor I love so much as he asks me for a third toppign for his pizza and I suggest m&ms (yes I eat it like that) and he laughs and calls me pregnant then cheers when I say im not. the next morning he sent me the report and we talk about it a bit, that was Friday aka yesterday. we didn't talk the rest of the day after that cause I knew he had work and darksouls and didn't want to add to his stress.

today around my lunch break I checked in on him knowing he was in class but also that he tends to go on his phone during. roughly 3.25 hours later he messages back saying he chilling and tired and we joke about my sleeping habits cause I haven't slept since monday night. he stops responding after a few messages so I assume this teacher doesn't let him have his phoen in class.

when I was sure he was home I messaged again and asked about playing darksouls. he said “lets give it a go” and 20 mins later we get in call. now a brief description of us playing

started a call Today at 7:17 PM

discussion of levels and such and me asking a few questions about if I should grab some stuff from the shrine

trouble getting his summon sign to show up

we start fighting things and he tells me I shouldn't use my shield (pyro class) then starts fighting an enemy I usually killed before he went big

comment like (oh I forgot youre cheep pyromancer) as I start throwing fire at it

he dies cause cleric class trying to tank at level 7

he tells me he doesn't really feel it today and that hes sorry and gets off

I am upset but at least while we were dealing with the summons ign stuff I got a chuckle out of him when I mentioned factorio. I understand why he didn't feel like laying after everything that's been going on but I guess I was just hoping to spend time with him in voice cause it makes me happy and im really stressed rn too. ill try again next week maybe but for now im going to give him space until he contacts me. I want to be as supportive to him as I can be all the time cause I love him.

side note I now have a new cut on my leg. its small and oblong but as wide as dime no more in its long way. not nearly as deep as the others. I got upset cause I caused my parents to argue simply cause I wanted snack wraps after church and my dad went the wrong way to get them. mother apologized to me but I will never let her know about this cut. ive gotten cut by shampoo bottles before and I wont have and chance for her to see it till summer anyway and even then that's only if I go to a pool and I hate public pools. im just gonna pass it off as a shampoo inflicted cut that I picked at and hope she doesn't see it till its a lot smaller. but I also got back in touch with the cousin I thought I lost and im thinking of trying to write some fanfics or something idk. my mind is mostly focused on my ex

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