#AHAHAH thank you !! I love this goofy old man | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ygreczed-3 · 3 years

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K so first of all your art is super well done, and second of all might I propose, for your consideration, drawing Hank and Connor playing baseball bc for some reason when I saw your nurse AU related drawings I just looked at Connor and was like you know what he needs. A baseball cap. And those vertical stripes. And a bat. 😂 Or maybe he'd be pitching. Idk your art style just drew these images to the top of my mind and also Hank would totally catching with Connor batting—or maybe batting if Connor was pitching 🤔 but a;lsdkfj yes anywho thank you for coming to my tedtalk xD

I swear 🙏 I'll answer all the asks another day (because it's late here oopsie) but right now I just want to say. YES. BASEBALL DOODLES. WE. NEED. THESE.

Also younger Hank so they can be in the same team cause Hank is awesome but I don't think he would be playing in a major league team à 53 yo ahah. I can see them practice together a lot, Connor as a pitcher and Hank as a hitter. Connor's really good at pitching, he has an inner understanding of the ball's physics and is agile. Hank is an outfielder, he may not look like it, but he's very fast and observant so he rarely misses a fly ball.

Well my dear this ask was SO COOL ! The best Tedtalk I've ever watched ahah

More headcanons below 👀

Connor is specialized in pitching, Hank is his designated hitter for most games.

I already see Connor peeping on Hank whenever he has the chance to see his bare chest... 👀 And Hank pretending he doesn't know and casually showing off lol. Connor would always keep him in his range of vision during workout sessions especially.

Hank loves looking at Connor pitching: he finds him so graceful and yet so strong.

They would re-watch their old games together to try to understand why they lose, laughing at the close-ups they make on them. "Look at you, you look so goofy ahahah" "Hey !!! You have a squint, what do you have to say about that ?" Connor would fall asleep on Hank's shoulder before the end of the game and Hank would enjoy the moment quietly.

Also, Hank would often tease Connor about the fact he's a terrible hitter (I mean, he's good but not as good as Hank). "At least I can hit the ball" he says smugly once. Connor stares at him as the other team members are "wooooh"-ing around them. "Well you can't pitch" Connor replies, shrugging. "Hitting is primitive. Pitching requires more... fingering." Then Connor leaves, as the whole team laughs and claps a furiously blushing Hank on the back.

One day, Connor asks Hank to help him get better at hitting, the bigger man happily accepts. They train during the whole afternoon and when the sun starts to get lower in the sky Connor calls it a day. As they head to the showers, Hanks says "You should teach me how to pitch, someday". Connor is surprised: "I didn't know you were interested in pitching... It's so challenging it gets frustrating... It discourages so many players." Hank doesn't know what to reply. "You're persistent Connor. That's something I admire about you." Then, he walks past Connor into the locker room and adds "Plus I'd like to improve my fingering". That is the death of Connor.

Hank has to follow a strict diet during the season. He hates it but he knows he has to so he's hard on himself and won't allow himself any kind of treat, because he knows he's a big eater. It has a repercussion on his mood though, and Connor notices it quite quickly. One evening, Hank walks out of the gym after a workout, sipping on a cucumber smoothie, he sees Connor waiting for him with a strawberry milkshake in his hand. "I know you're strict with yourself because you're scared of losing control... but I will be careful. Only one milkshake a week during the season. Deal ?" It's Hank's best milkshake ever, but nothing compared to the sweetness of Connor's smile.

Last but not least, Hank with a bat is the hottest phallic metaphor Connor could ever think of.

#detroit become human #dbh #dbh hank anderson #dbh hank x connor #hank x connor #hank anderson #dbh hankcon #detroit become human hankcon #hankcon #connor x hank #detroit become human connor #connor rk800 #dbh connor

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thevesseler · 7 years

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Superbia, Part 3

Beginning of Story

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter [TBC]

This one’s kind of a long one, sorry.

[The perpetual frown stuck on your face deepens; not only are you finding yourself with rabbit on your plate once AGAIN, but you think the fairies might not be able to recognize you without the goofy grin you always wore around... her. God. Every time you think about how you coped with it, you shudder knowing it hit the rest of them hard at least tenfold. You mutter under your breath.]

MILENAH: Stupid lack of GPS signal, Stupid Terys for leading, stupid me for following, and thinking I could do any of this again! But most importantly, stupid Grienburgh being in danger in the first place!

[After being overcome with Shoulder Infatuation, Lauren declared that your party would be spared immediate punishment, and instead treated to a nice “dinner”–if you can even call it that–until they figure out what to do with you. Since then, they've taken you back to their commune.]

[Time did nothing to Lauren since you last saw her. She's clearly trying to fill the shoes of the departed eldest the best she can, but you can tell even after the death there's a middle child inferiority complex brewing within. Iris, on the other hand, gives you the evil eye from across the table. This should come as no surprise to you; she was always far more perceptive than she was given credit for, and it's always been clear which of your late friend's younger sisters she was closer to. No fault to Lauren, but she was often a little... in her own world.]

[Terys has already lost interest in trying to seduce her, but she hasn't taken the hint.]

LAUREN: You know, I've never seen a mustache up close before! Does it ever get caught in anything?

TERYS: …

LAUREN: The strong silent type, are you? I don't mind, though I can only hope you'll tell me why its color doesn't match that of the hair on your head. With locks like that, you could be Iris' twin!

[Iris doesn't avert her gaze from you. Even then, she still has something to say.]

IRIS: No thanks, I'd kill myself if I looked like that.

LAUREN: Hah! Ahahah! She knows not what she speaks!

TERYS: I don't need your validation, I know how I look.

[Lauren tosses a bone at Iris' head with impeccable accuracy.]

LAUREN: We have guests, sister, please show them some hospitality!

[Iris mumbles something, only loud enough for Sarjane, sitting adjacent to her, to hear.]

SARJANE: Wait, hold up– Who's Macki?

[The tension in the air becomes twice as thick as Lauren tenses up, her knife nearly going through the wood of the table. It's a unique knife, possibly customized and seemingly too big for eating.]

LAUREN: Iris... why would you bring up Ma–

IRIS: She was our sister.

[Your three friends lean forward in their seats. You force yourself to zone out, expecting everything to fall apart.]

IRIS: Much like us, she had no interest in letting any human who wandered into our woods go on their merry way. Except one. Her reasoning... was that she had fallen in love with her. She passed the teachings of her craft onto her, too...

[She finally tears her gaze from you, looking down at her lap.]

IRIS: There's a wing-hoarding dragon who guards the caves, and sleeps on a pile of wings he's ripped off of other fairies over the years. Macki wanted to make sure she and the human could defend each other while hunting in the forest. Then one day, as the human was supposed to accompany her for their next hunt, she decided to sleep in, letting Macki go off on her own. So what do you think happened next?

[Nobody dares ask.]

IRIS: By the time the she found her in the middle of the woods, Macki had already bled out. We could've killed that human, but instead, Lauren let her go.

LAUREN: What would you have done? I think it's what Macki would've wanted.

IRIS: ...Maybe. How could you know for sure? You're not Macki.

[Lauren twists the knife further into the wood.]

WYNTRAM: If you don't mind me asking, who was the human?

[Son of a bitch!]

IRIS: Her name was... uhh, M...Mi–Michelle.

[She shoots Lauren a look.]

LAUREN: That's right, it was Michelle.

IRIS: It was definitely Michelle.

[You don't know why the fairies are trying to protect your identity, but they're doing a terrible job of it. Perhaps they just don't want to start any drama. Seeing your chance, you decide to be bold.]

MILENAH: Now that that's behind us, what do we have to do to get you to trust humans again?

[Iris' lips tighten, forming a flat line. You know it's already too late for her to go back on “Michelle.”]

LAUREN: Well, there really isn't anything you can do. If it weren't for your handsome devil of a friend here, we would've punished you on the spot!

TERYS: You're welcome.

LAUREN: However, I have an interesting proposition. Other than Macki, there isn't a pair of hands in our commune that can best my good little sister at archery. If one of you could take on Iris and win, we'll grant you mercy, as well as our utmost respect.

[Your friends all turn to you.]

LAUREN: Of course, if you lose, we'll have to open up the portal to our own realm. It's a lovely place to visit, but it's not so fun to live there, especially if you aren't a fairy. Our queen could always use some more court entertainers, though.

[Your heart sinks. You spot Terys from across the table, his arms instinctively wrapped around his abdomen, knowing what this would mean for him if you lost. So it's come to this.]

LAUREN: Of course, you could always forfeit right now–

MILENAH: No!

[Iris grins smugly at you.]

IRIS: Oh?

MILENAH: I'll take you on, I haven't missed a shot in years. Soon enough, you'll understand the utility of a human!

[Wyntram and Sarjane, who had been holding their breaths the entire time, let out a sigh of relief.]

IRIS: Tomorrow morning, as soon as the sun rises. I'll send someone to wake you up.

LAUREN: In the meantime, feel free to spend the night in our spare cabins! We have two, which should be enough to accommodate four humans. Have a good rest, for it might be your last.

[Time is of the essence, and these assholes are holding your party up by making you stay overnight. The walk to the cabins is eerily quiet. Two male fairies, both holding bukkehorns, stand outside the entrances.]

IRIS: They're here to make sure you don't escape in the middle of the night.

MILENAH: Wouldn't dream of it.

SARJANE: Well, I guess this is good-night for now. And don't worry, we'll be there to cheer you on. You're gonna be great!

MILENAH: I know, but don't jinx it.

[Sarjane grabs Wyntram's hand and starts pulling him toward the left cabin.]

SARJANE: This one is guarded by a cuter guy.

WYNTRAM: That's... subjective.

[He turns to Terys, who hasn't spoken a word since “You're welcome.”]

WYNTRAM: See you tomorrow, man.

TERYS: ...It healed so long ago... why does it still hurt...

[For a brief second, Wyntram looks considerably worried.]

SARJANE: There he goes with that vague cryptic BS again. Come on, doc, I wanna see if they have indoor plumbing!

[Night falls, and much to Sarjane's disappointment, the cabins do not in fact have indoor plumbing.]

SARJANE: What do you think fairy shit looks like?

[Wyntram doesn't look up from his phone. The cabin has no charger, and the battery should run out in a few hours, but that doesn't stop him from looking at the black screen in locked mode.]

WYNTRAM: Who knows? Maybe flowers. Like those hydrangeas.

SARJANE: Noooo! I put those all over my face!

WYNTRAM: Heh.

SARJANE: You were a bioengineer, didn't you ever work on fairies?

WYNTRAM: Honestly? No. My town generally thought they were a myth, and anyone who claimed to see them was usually laughed off the mountain.

SARJANE: How many people can be laughed off the mountain before a scientist says “Hey, maybe what they're saying isn't totally made up”?

WYNTRAM: Since I started working, seven and counting.

SARJANE: Geez. That is, like, five too many.

[Wyntram's message chime rings out in the hollow cabin.]

SARJANE: Looks like you get some service here after all. Is it Dael?

WYNTRAM: No, it's my cousin.

“Hey DorkFuck 5000, have you watched The Stepford Wives yet?”

WYNTRAM: She likes to send me old movie recommendations that she thinks I'll overanalyze.

[He unlocks the screen to respond.]

“Which version? I liked the remake better, but you can't tell me Joanna's marriage to Walter wasn't compulsory heterosexuality. It's like they told her she had to choose a guy to marry, she threw a dart at a board, it landed on a picture of a deflated scrotum that looks like Matthew Broderick and she said 'Him, I guess...'”

SARJANE: That's not over-analysis, that's just fact.

WYNTRAM: Look at your own phone.

[The following silence between them lasts three minutes before either decides to say something.]

WYNTRAM: Man, this sucks. Why do I always get stuck with you?

SARJANE: Whoa, wait a minute!

WYNTRAM: No– Shit! Hold on, that's not what I meant. It just seems like every time we camp or stay at inns, the two of us always end up rooming together. Like I get it, we're really good friends, but sometimes, I feel like there's other people I need to talk to once in a while.

SARJANE: Hey, you're not still thinking about what he said outside the cabin, are you...?

WYNTRAM: …

[She crosses her arms.]

SARJANE: Oh? Ohohohoho???? Could it be the good doctor actually has genuine friendly concern for people other than Hard Glass Mazdaki?

WYNTRAM: Yeah, of course! I'm human! But please don't call yourself that.

SARJANE: The point is, you say this sucks. I think I know how to make it un-suck.

[You wish you knew how to make him respond to you. Anything, even an insult, would do. If it weren't for the guards outside, Terys would probably leave the cabin to “meditate,” or whatever he claims to do to let off steam when he's alone.]

MILENAH: Big day tomorrow.

TERYS: …

MILENAH: You know, I took another one of your manuscript pages again. Doesn't that piss you off?

TERYS: ..

MILENAH: Well, in the event that it doesn't, let me show you what I've been working on for you.

TERYS: .

[You slip the manuscript page onto his side of the cabin. He scans it from where he sits.]

MILENAH: It's supposed to be a resurrection spell. Our biggest concern was that since we don't have a healer, what are we gonna do if one of us drops dead? This melody is the answer, the spell is a one-use-per-fight sort of thing, though, so use it wisely. I call it... “Bring to Life.”

[He crumples the paper into a ball and throws it at you.]

MILENAH: Please don't tell me it's already been done!

TERYS: ….........

[You slam your head against the cabin wall.]

MILENAH: I'm not going to lose, you know!

TERYS: You better not.

MILENAH: I'm no fool! I know what losing means for you, and I'm not gonna let you go through that again.

TERYS: You better not.

MILENAH: Don't you have any faith in me?

TERYS: What difference does it make, how much I have in you? Of course I do, but if you lose to that fairy, what will it even count for in the end?

[You'd normally try to give him some speech about moral support and The Power of Friendship that you only half-believe yourself, but you're interrupted by a knock on the door. You walk over to answer it.]

MILENAH: Hm?

GUARD FAIRY: You have visitors.

[Behind him is Sarjane standing by her own cabin's guard, and Wyntram off to the side.]

SARJANE: Hey Millie, guess what? I'm stealing you!

MILENAH: Why?

SARJANE: It doesn't matter, don't worry about it.

[You walk out the door to follow her and the guard, when you notice Wyntram stay put.]

MILENAH: Shouldn't he be following us?

SARJANE: It's fine! The cabin can only fit two people!

MILENAH: Huh? But then that means–

SARJANE: It's fiiine!

[As Sarjane approaches the door to open it, the subjectively cuter guard returns to his post. She shuts the door behind you.]

SARJANE: Sorry I used you like that. I just had to get those two alone.

[You feign offense.]

MILENAH: I'm hurt. You don't like spending time with me?

SARJANE: Never said that. How are you holding up? Knowing your record, I think that violet-mopped malcontent will be in for a rude awakening tomorrow.

MILENAH: Which one, Iris or Terys? Depending on who you're referring to, what you said has two entirely different meanings.

SARJANE: Pssh.

[She causally walks over and flops onto her bed.]

SARJANE: Still, this lady seems pretty sure of herself, and according to the Orange One, their sister was even better. Do you think she can do that thing where you pin the onion ring to the tree?

MILENAH: No idea. Macki didn't teach me that one.

[Your blood freezes as you realize what you've just said.]

SARJANE: A-ha!

MILENAH: Yoooouuu! You tricked me!

SARJANE: I did nothing, “Michelle.” You just have a loose tongue.

MILENAH: Die.

SARJANE: Oh, it's not like I'll tell anyone.

[You take a seat on Wyntram's bed, which you guess is yours now.]

MILENAH: Everyone in this commune knows what I did, but none of them will admit it's me. All of this could have been avoided if we just went left like I wanted.

SARJANE: True, but think how much less I'd know about you if we did.

MILENAH: I don't have a loose tongue. But I am a hypocrite. I hold on to all of my friends' biggest secrets and guard them with my life, but then I don't trust them enough to share my own. Can you blame me? The incident with Macki wasn't my proudest moment. It's funny... the day it happened, I swore it wasn't my fault. I never sleep in, it's not my nature. That morning, I felt... wrong. Completely disoriented. Why was I so tired the night before?

SARJANE: More importantly, the fairies had to hunt in pairs before you came along, right? So why did she go off to hunt alone instead of asking someone else to go with her?

[You never considered that.]

MILENAH: I don't know her reasons. I wish I could ask her.

SARJANE: Iris said Macki was in love with you. I'd kill to hear your side of that story.

MILENAH: I actually never knew for sure. She spent a lot of time with me, taught me everything I know, and told me how pretty I was, but does that really mean love?

SARJANE: You can't rule it out, I mean, you can't blame her for thinking yo–

MILENAH: ?

SARJANE: Ha! I just remembered something!

[She's visibly sweating. You don't think she knows how much louder she's speaking than she was a moment ago.]

SARJANE: Dinner!

MILENAH: What...

SARJANE: You didn't have any!

MILENAH: Well, I didn't want to eat rabbit. I'll be fine, I can still shoot on an empty stomach.

SARJANE: You say that now until you pass out and impale yourself on your own arrows.

MILENAH: You've got an active imagination. Now, what were you trying to say before?

[She ducks underneath the covers.]

SARJANE: Good night!

#The Vesseler #Story

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