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nilboxes · 2 months

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Nitimur in Vetitum Part 4 of Nemo Saltat Sobrius, Nisi Forte Insanit, an Aventio Series

Read at AO3

Rating info, tags and extensive notes ⬇ (mentions some leaks regarding planar orb)

I've always wanted, for the longest time, to be able to capture a film noir feel written fiction and while I don't necessarily feel like I did it here 100% I felt like I nailed down some of the atmosphere and the themes.

I fully went into writing this with the idea that Aventurine had a mini vacation while he's still preparing for the assignment, but he doesn't really strike me as the type to just truly lounge around when something as huge as the Penacony gig is looming over his head, so he actually had some kind of purpose there, not exactly minor but not major either.

The plot sort of got away from me and just wrote itself with Aventurine going through the motions of a date. This isn't their first sit-down together meal as I wrote in a 2nd part of the sickfic drabble in the drabble series (which I didn't cover because it'd just be sick Aven trying to eat and Ratio quietly watching over him) but this is a first proper one.

I always feel like Aven is a big eater when he does actually find time to eat, otherwise he's chowing down on some nutrient paste thing when he's on the go (an idea that always stuck with me ever since I read a tidbit of that Warhammer lore and it was kinda sad way to find sustenance honestly) I feel like Aven does try to eat good food as much as he can, obviously having grown up not being able to indulge in those things.

I REALLY love the scene where Aven is trying to protect Veritas from seeing the carnage. I feel like it'll only really appeal to me but whatever, but the idea of short king Aventurine being all domineering, cupping Veritas' face and leading him to face away and saying "look at me" is so AUGH I did well for myself here I come back and read this scene now and then

I also really like exploring Aventurine's conflicting ideas about whether or not he should keep Veritas close to him. I never once felt like he didn't feel as if he didn't deserve it, but he definitely felt like he was doing something wrong because he's inevitably going to hurt Veritas one way or another if he lets Veritas invest feelings in him when he throws his life around in gambles and doesn't really fully expect to come out of it. I suppose he feels irresponsible for that? But then Aventurine, for me, is nothing but greedy, I feel like that's the essence of his character, and it's more intriguing when there seems to be no real substance to that (no higher purpose, no true meaning) other than he is a hungry little thing and he will gamble for more because he wants more (probably a trauma response to be honest)

I think here I wrote Veritas in such a manner that he is always so clinically interested in Aventurine, but there's not a lot of emotional processing until he looks into Aventurine's sad, dull eyes and is somehow enchanted enough to wax poetics. I feel the awkwardness is a bit on brand for Ver, since he's so smooth and elegant when he's alone and not talking, but when he does the pomposity just doesn't mix too well, which I find cute.

On Aventurine's side, I could not resist adding in some early context about how he really, truly sees Veritas as his "savior" and I touched upon this again in another drabble, but the idea of the Scholar King was what got him through his early days in the IPC, and then serves as sort of an anchor and comfort during his personal trials when he became a Stoneheart was something I always liked to serve as the basis of why he approached Veritas as depicted in the light cone. I think he never really thought about where it would go though, hence when he got what he wanted he wasn't quite sure how he was supposed to keep it hence the attempt at driving Veritas away.

When I wrote this, the leaked description of the Sigonia planar ornament came, and I like to say the rain coming in to salvage Aventurine's attempts at self-sabotage is deliberate, but it was really a happy accident that I just quietly tied around his past.

The sex scene idek, that was really hard to write. I wrote like 1000 words on Veritas POV before I realized I was going about it the wrong way and switched to Aven's, did not make it any easier, but I at least thought the indescribable yearning was conveyed properly, so while it might not be the most coherent scene I think I'm pretty happy with it anyway.

Next up: a slightly less angsty fic, and a retrospection that probably deals with 2.1 events depending on how things go!

#voidmancer writes #hsr #hsr fanfic #aventio #aventurine x dr ratio #this is so late lmao

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