#2. he doesnt know whats up w/ artemis but he thinks shes sick and shes just separating him to capture him w/o fighting him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

artemisfowlcodex · 4 years

Text

My sister’s directly transcribed notes, taken while watching the Artemis Fowl movie...

(Absolutely no editing for grammar has been done, this is raw reaction)

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SURFBOARD???? Wh— WHY IS MY BOY SURFING

THis is a better start to Percy Jackson than the actual Percy Jackson movie There’s no way he’d choose the name Bruce Okay but the accents cute

And this scene is accurate Basard boy Absolute baby unlimited

IS ANGELINE DEAD???????

Bold of you to think he could lift a backpack SKATEBOARD?????????????? JEANS??????????????????

At home w his dad yeah as if he was a good dude from the start what He taught him bout fair folk????

PLEASE stop putting my boy in JEANS JEAAAANNNSS baby boy has a cute as hell nose

Arty count #1

sidenote pls don’t call him Artemis jr it’s senior and Artemis that’s it

What is even happening hmmm

WHY DOES THIS BOY KNOW WHAT PHYSICAL AFFECTION IS HAH NO I LOVE YOU TOO

OH MY GOD ANGELINE IS DEAD WHY

why would you kill the person trying to put him in jeans

The manor is cute as hell tho

LEGO??? Omg robotics

Yeah that sounds about right Hey why aren’t his pjs silk And WHERE IS BUTLER

THERE

WOW THOSE ARE BLUE EYES

NO!!!!!!! You CANT CALL HIM BY HIS FIRST NAME!!!!!!!!

baby drink MILK

Bold of you to assume Artemis didn’t know his dad was a crime lord

Owl star?? Bruh

DOM PLS GOD WHY Never call him butler pfft Oh my god why is the plot now that the folk have kidnapped him???? WHAT ACULOUS?

“Word for word” This boy would and then DOESNT

Arty count #2 WHY IS HE STILL IN JEANS how tf is this so different to the book you had 20 YEARS to get it

I vibe w haven tho Nother sidenote why are mulch’s teef so nice don’t like that

Hollys suit is kinda cute tho Helmet sucks tbh I AM VIBIN W HAVEN Why is mulch a beeg boye WHY ARE GOBLINS HARRY POTTER SHIT UGLY INSTEAD OF REPTILES Yep helmets SUCK Okay yeah this is a cute holly Fjsjfjsjfjfnsjfj yeah that’s their whole dynamic Why tf is he going to howlers peak

WHOMST WAIT IS THE OTHER ONE FREAKIN OPAL

hmm okay yeah dench good commander bad root HWAT THE HECK IS THEB ACULLUS the hats are SO BAD BEEG eyes holly Holly looking for her dad too oh no I smell the bonding already I wannaaaaa seeeeeeee TROUBLE and chix lol

STOP CALLING HIM DOMOVOIIIIII OH IS THIS JULIET!? OH SHES CUTE NEICE?????? TF CUUUUTE haha encoded too love that

FOALLLYYYYY OHHHHH LOVE THAT THE skirt güd THAT IS A GOOD FOALY HE SMOL THO

ohhhh yeah CUDGEON so it IS opal

Wings good IS she shielded??

DOMOVOI STOP W THST NAME JEANS WHY

Yeah this scene right Fangs aren’t big enough Too human face hm

GOOD FOALY THO THEYRE REALLY USING CENTAUR TO FULL POTENTIAL THATS NOT HOW TIME STOPS WORK they’re literally explained in the book how th ehh work what the heckidy heck

RETRIEVAL WOULD HAVE BETTER WAYS TO BRING EM IN holly no

Arty count #3

It IS opal Thats That’s not how coords work

STOP CALLING HIM DOM keep ur helmet on queen

Aha HERES the siege NOT HAPPY SJHFJSJGJSKFJSJFJ

JEANS

JULIET OMG STOP WEARING J E A N S OKAY I LOVE THIS SCENE

DOM FOR GODS SAKE I’ll give her a pass tho bc it’s Jules

SWORD???? Please give me butler beating up retrieval PLEASE I NEED IT

is it just a Thing™️ to have Dench stare dead into the camera now? First Cats and now this TOP O THE MORNIN

J E A N S HAHA SUIT!!!! SUIIIT AT LONG LAST Scared to dead hell yeah

WHO GAVE THIS CHILD A GUN IM?????? THIS IS SUCH A WILD RIDE

god please tell me opal doesn’t actually sound like that and it’s a disguise

Heheheheh baby boy looks ten Do Root and I share a bday? Was that Frond? STOP calling him jr he’s the SECOND

Mulch I will feed u ur weirdly nice teef YES FIRE But also uhhhhh WHERES MY REPTILE REP YES BUT THAT SCENES FROM LATER BOOKS

My father was kidnapped! YEAH WELL MY FATHER IS DEAD AND HERES THE BONDING

PORTALS???? WAIT HYBRAS?????

Oh yeah julius can’t be Julius bc woman BOWIE A FOLK DJDHFJKS Damn mulchs eyeliner going off doe LET HIM UNHINGE HIS JAW! WEIRD DWARF RIGHTS! Throat INFECTIONGNDJSJFJSJK Hey quick observation I’m surprised there are NO fart jokes seeing as the book was FILLED w them YESSSSSS UNHINGEDDDDDD THATS MY BOY!!!! YESSSS UNHINGED RIGHTS

hacker voice: I’m in Burps??? Wack “Switching to xray and then Does Not”

Lol nothing to do w the brain PLEASE PUNCH HIM I WANT THE LEGENDARY LOLLIPOP LINE DWARF HAIR HOLY SHIT YESSSS YESSSSSS PUNCH

Oh it’s acorn shaped of COURSE it is But WHAT is it IM SORRY W H A T Is the time stop doing??

CUDGEON YES OH SICK TROLL TIME TROLL TIME Darvit wheeeee there it is

If you like doubled butlers height this would be fine bc I like the taller holly and mulch 2.97 seconds to eat humans fjsjfjsjjf JFJSNFJSJFJ MULCH STEALING THE GUN FROM BUTLER

They’re using the troll as a battering ram im crying that’s so dumb Magic jammers? That’s a thing? YEET JULIET BEST GIRL YES MULCH UNHINGED RIGHTS!! DOM COUNT DOM COUNT Hmm yeah soundtrack nothing to write home about DOM COUNT

I vibe w neutrino design OH DOM COUNT DOM count DOm count pls stopppppp Whyd you a) move him and b) sit him up BUDDY???? hey ur not meant to die til book three

Wh CHIX IS AN ELF??? WHY ISNT HE G R E E N WHYS HE CAPTAIN AINT THAT MEANT TO BE TROUBLE WINGS ARE MAGIC?? DOM COUNT Did I cry? Little bit lol love that

Oh yeah he runs like he’s never learnt how Like he’d willingly call someone a friend before book four Wow yeah that’s defs arctic incident

Fjshfjsjjfjdjfjfhfhdhfhdhghh I know it didn’t fail but WHAT IF IT DID “Dad” wow please go back to calling him Father

I’ll be real I didn’t view holly as a child actor the whole time lol she’s good And white ,,, but that’s a different issue

But also YALL KILLED ANGELINE B ITCH WE WERE ROBBED OF HAVING HIM IN SUITS THE WHOLE MOVIE oh my god what are you on about UNHINGED RIGHTS!!!

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And that is the total transcript, in near-unreadable format.

God help us all.

#Artemis Fowl #artemis fowl movie #Courtesy of Admin Wara

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