that "kinky shit" daniel referred to in this comic

blue pencil sketches turned grayscale in photoshop by verimuru

A petit cup of tea - from wp blog, 17/11/2019

Now, let's return to the (relatively) real world for a moment; I know I probably left you with a few questions with my last post. Why is a famous writer going to meet up with a child? What exactly are the worlds of the first and second section? Where is Busan? And I did say I would explain. So, I'll sprinkle that somewhere in here, like a little bit of ketchup on your sandwich to spice up a café review - which, indeed, this shall be!

The café in question again happens to be in my hometown which, considering I've technically moved on to pursue the high-end city life of a student, I've been returning to quite a bit. My visit took place on yet another productive-seeming Friday: I'd been flitting up and down the high street between charity shops, desperately searching for a job interview outfit, trying to find one that struck a balance between a neutral-yet-trendy and mature-yet-youthful look, one that really shouted, "Hello! I'm energetic and fashionable and perfect to work behind your ultra sleek bar in your ultra sleek club!" It was not easy - by the time the feat was achieved, it was past three o'clock, and I hadn't yet had lunch.

Usually I would be in a barely-contained foul mood, slouching and suffering from an empty stomach. However, I had also purchased A Very Nice Coat (although some pesky folk might insist it's a jacket), and so I made my way down the high street slope with the confidence of someone wearing something that actually fits them. In fact, after such a wondrous experience with the coat, I've considered that perhaps I just need to buy everything I have in my wardrobe but a couple of sizes smaller. I don't need more expressive clothes, I need clothes that express my actual size. It's a small, but hugely important aspect that can help you live in your skin a bit better.

Huh. Maybe I'll turn into a 'beauty blogger'.

Wardrobe revelations aside, by the time I'd made the march down to the foot of the high street hill, I was yearning for a wholesome lunch - and Le Petit Café certainly did not disappoint. I remember visiting the place when it was still fresh and new around a year ago, and since then it's clearly only improved. With an upside down bicycle in the window and artwork for sale on the walls, it's a nice, quietly hipster venue with a tasty menu: speaking of which I had a delicious cheddar and cauliflower soup, the likes of which I've never had so creamy. Of course I had the mandatory hot drink with it, a chai latte (pictured) which matched in creaminess. I enjoyed both too much to focus on the laptop I'd put with good intent in front of me, and after I'd consumed both the friendly staff seemed eager for me to move onto my second course - I got the sense that it wasn't a place intended for lone reflection. The fact that I wasn't with someone seemed to compel the staff into making up for it by frequently approaching me, urging me onto the next course. I thus enjoyed a 'caramelita' for pudding: spiced caramel with white chocolate chips and an oat base, and so sweet that I had to hide half of it in a napkin to finish later.

But, let's pretend I did in fact get something productive done on my laptop that afternoon - that I tapped away and worked on writing the explanation I said I would provide for my last piece of writing. Well, here is what I wrote then, definitely copy-and-pasted from a separate document, and definitely not written at the same time as the rest of this post.

When considering how best to 'explain' the context in my life within which My Dream Korea was written, I am faced by two paths - the Dream and the Korea. The latter is perhaps more deserving of its own post another day, so I will focus on the former.

Writers are all full of dreams, I think. Well, all people are, to an extent. Mine have proven particularly strong, propelled by a continuous imagination and occasional inspiration. This has formed a sort of 'dream world' in my mind. It's different from the worlds I create for my stories, because this world is entirely selfish - it's main purpose is for me to explore possibility in alternate realities, and virtually satisfy my deepest desires. Flying, for example. Leaping off a tall city building in slow motion, stretching my arms out as large black wings grow and feather and flex their muscles on my back, swooping down to a bridge and then nosediving into the water only to break through, as I pierce the surface of the water, into the sky of another location. Things like that - anything is possible, and I can zoom in on and replay any detail I like, like designing, directing and acting in my own film, except it's a form of life.

I am fully aware of the deep-rooted psychological facts about myself this can reflect. I know that it is probably a defense mechanism, given as it is most used when I need to restore hope for myself. It's also constantly changing, and sometimes when I'm going through a period of extreme change, it can take me a while to find what thrills me. Recently I've been in a kind of limbo, unable to create and settle on a new idea - which is why I wrote some of the world down, to try and focus my brain enough so that it can enjoy that side of non-reality again.

My Dream Korea opens with a version of myself that represents some of my darkest moments, suffering through feelings of desperation and frustration, and yearning so much for hope and happiness that I would intoxicate myself to try and reach the 'other side'. It is a hyperbole that serves to contrast with the warmth of the dream world I then describe. And then, what I write is really just trying to convey the blissful experience I had in the real world, when I visited South Korea - when I felt like I was living so contently that it became a dream while I stayed there. This version of my dream world is trying to preserve and maintain those ultimate feelings of happiness from my memories, while exploring what my future could have been if I had stayed there a bit longer. In a sort of loose, fanfiction-style, 'if I was already a famous author' kind of way.

So I'm exploring this world along with you, visitor. The next chapter isn't written - I don't know what will happen next. In this way, my dream world, and My Dream Korea, is a form of life. I hope you will join me on its journey.

Speaking of journeys, the trip I made to Le Petit Café certainly paid off. It felt far warmer and more personal than the previous chain cafés, as I expected, although the downside of that was they didn't leave me in peace to get any writing done. It would have been perfect, however, if I had gone there with the intent of socialising - so it would be a good place for you and me to catch up over a cup of chai someday. We can always sneak a bourbon in when they're not looking, or convene in the toilet to have a biscuit break. Sound good? Yeah, I think it's a plan. Anyway, overall, I give it:

8/10 petit croissants