#(Why do you wound me like this Jang Moonbok?) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moonbokrk · 6 years

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“I know I’m not the son you’d hoped I’d be. But let me be a son who can make you proud.”

They wanted their son to become a doctor. He wanted to pursue music and become an idol. Moonbok and his parents don’t always see eye-to-eye when it comes his future. One thing never changes, though. Even if dreams are left in ruins, harsh words are spoken and angry tears are shed; the bond between parent and son is unbreakable.

Playlist:

● Numb - Linkin Park ● Acting Out - Ashley Tisdale ● My Style - ASTRO ● Road - G.O.D ● Happy Until Now - Baekho (Kang Dongho) ● Thank You - Got7 ● I’ll Try - Day6

Numb - Linkin Park

I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there Become so tired, so much more aware By becoming this, all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you

Since he was a child, Moonbok was groomed into becoming a doctor like his father. And he tried, he truly did try to live up to his parents’ expectations, becoming the model student and dutiful son. But his wishes to be an idol were stronger and he came to realize that if he became like his father, he might be successful but he would also be miserable. Thus his rebellion and the arguments began.

Acting Out - Ashley Tisdale

Let me out this cage, I’m not gonna hold back Gonna break these chains, I’m taking control now! Gonna give ya something to talk about, It’s another side of me, I’m acting out!

[Discussed somewhat in Moonbok’s MGA audition] As his frustration with his parents’ unwillingness to compromise grew, Moonbok’s behaviour became unruly. Once the ‘perfect child,’ he began to rebel more openly and in front of family members, determined to give them all a reason to talk about him, instead of simply staring down their noses. As is the case with all teenagers, though, he was blinded by his own self-confidence and unaware (or uncaring) of his parents’ feelings. Confrontation was looming ever closer as he progressed through his first year of High School

My Style - Astro

People always told me not to play to hard to get, That if I don’t want to fall behind; to listen to my elders That the dreams I’m dreaming can’t be fulfilled easily People who look down on me will never understand.

Have respect for your parents and elders, because they’re wiser than you are. That’s what Moonbok had been taught since he was a child, but as he got older, Moonbok scoffed at the notion. They all knew better simply because they lived longer than him?! His teachers, who just wanted to say they’d played a part in getting Jang Yeonseok’s only son to SNU’s medical school? His uncle, who put the reputation of their family ahead of any affection towards them? (If he even possessed affection for any of them in the first place) His parents, who had raised him and yet put down his dreams at any opportunity? Saying he was too intelligent to ‘waste [his] life on a dream,’ and idiotic platitudes about not wanting to see him ‘get hurt?’ Not realizing why his parents held the fears that they did or that his teachers did actually see him as more than the son of one of South Korea’s most esteemed doctors, Moonbok continued on his path of rebellion and his attitude towards his parents turned outright hostility until one evening, everyone snapped.

Road - G.O.D

Wanna say with confidence this path is right I do not want to look back I want no regret Just keep walking, keep walking, keep walking Yet I still don’t feel confident in my decision

On the 5th of February 2011, what started as a minor argument over Mookbok neglecting his homework (yet again) turned into an out-an-out screaming match between parents and son, sending their daughter cowering. Or so they all thought. However as Moonbok stormed towards the door with his father shouting warnings that if he left, he could stay gone this time, Jang Chaewon burst from her room and clung to her brother, sobbing and begging them to stop fighting. With that, Jang Minyoung delivered an ultimatum to her son. Sing for them. There and then. Prove that all this strife and pain was worth it, instead of just running away. At first Moonbok thought it was a joke, scoffing at the idea while he tried to untangle himself from his hysteric baby sister. But eventually he relented and as he stood before his family, he was seized by a sudden wave of terror. What if he failed here? Would his parents still throw him out? Despite all the arguments, he still loved them, he’d always loved them. Voice quaking, pitch and tone all over the place, he tried to put on a performance he’d always dreamed they’d watch, albeit on the big stage. However his impromptu performance was nothing short of a travesty and falling to his knees as it came to an end, all Moonbok could do was wait for his sentence to be passed...

Happy Until Now - Baekho

With how much of a child I always was Did I ever make you cry with my childish ways? Compared to you, who has always loved me I still have so much to learn Because I was always by your side

But the condemnation he was expecting never came, the order to get out and never return not issued. Instead, Moonbok felt his father’s arms wrap around him and hold him tightly, a strange warmth dripping on his cheek from above as his father trembled a little. Then, a simple statement with a nickname he hadn’t heard in what felt like years. “You did well, Bok-ah. I understand now, and I’m proud.” The realization hit Moonbok like a truck and before he could stop himself he was utterly bawling in his father’s arms, his sobs only increasing in strength and volume as his mother joined their hug. It was only then he realized that, in spite of everything he’d done and all the things he’d said, his parents simply wanted proof. Proof that he truly believed in his dream and that it wasn’t just him being spiteful. He’d made it that way though, threw it in his parents’ and teachers’s faces when he wanted a reaction. And now he realizes something that makes him cling to his parents even tighter, garbled apologies spilling out of his mouth, barely even understandable. In spite of all the pain he must have caused them, his parents still loved and forgave him.

Thank You - GOT7

Even if you give me everything you have You are still sorry and try to even give yourself to me What I gave to you is Still nothing, nothing, nothing even now So I’m so sorry So I’m sorry

It’s July 16th 2018 and the scene from that night was repeated. But instead simply being riddled in guilt from the way he acted as a teenager, Moonbok is curled in his parents’ embrace, sobbing as his feels like his dreams have come crashing to pieces around him. After giving up on their dream of him being a doctor, and letting him attend SNU’s music school to hone his skills, he’d failed. He’d come in last place on the first live stage of the MGAs season 4 and eliminated on the spot. Everything he’d worked for since that fateful night had come to nothing. He disgraced his family and friends in front of the entire nation (the fact that it wasn’t airing until Sunday night was even worse) and was told he simply wasn’t good enough. That he’d dragged his whole team to last place. “They hate me, they hate me! They think I’m not good enough and they’re right! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you were right all along, I never should have--” His mother hushed him, running a hand through his messy hair while his father’s grip on him tightened once more and Moonbok could almost swear the older man is shaking again. He’d let them all down, and yet they’re grieving with him instead of saying ‘we told you so.’ “Then prove them wrong, Moonbokkie. Learn from this and show them that they’ve made a mistake. You’ve done it before, let me see you do it again.”

I’ll Try - Day6

I wanna be on your side all your life And understand you Just like your love That loves me Just the way I am

Moonbok finally realizes what unconditional love means. It means his parents still love him, despite his faults and occasional bad attitude. That they won’t give up on him on a bad day, but will not let him wallow in self-pity. That even when he’d been rejected during the MGAs Wildcard round, they didn’t tell him it was time to give up, but to keep trying. That they’ll welcome him home after a day of classes with a hug and a smile and take a genuine interest in his going-ons in University. (Well, mostly. Moonbok is of the opinion that while Yeonseok tries to understand what his son is telling, there’s simply too much medical knowledge in his brain to make room for the arts. He tries though, and Moonbok loves him for it.) He’s ashamed of how he believed his parents didn’t like him, let alone love him when he was at his worst. He’s ashamed of how much pain and embarrassment he must have put them through with his bratty ways. But there’s no point dwelling on the past. All he can do know is simply repay their love in any way he can and try be a son Yeonseok and Minyoung can be proud of, no matter where his path leads.

#rkship #rkplaylist #((crt+3))#(Henlo I am going to go lie down and weep for a while)#(Why do you wound me like this Jang Moonbok?)

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