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ineffablyendless · 1 year

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inspired by @magnusbae 's post about it here

KAITLYN:...andddd THAT was Kim Petras' and Sam Smith's Unholy, and you can stick it right to Andrew for requesting knowing damn fucking well it's two weeks too old to be relistened to again every goddamned time you turn the radio on. Good news is, you'll not be listening to ANY tunes for a good next 10 minutes or so, cus it's time for the obligatory radio host banter time

[AUTOMATED NOISE OF WHOOPS AND LOUD CHEERING]

ROSE: You can at least...TRY to sound a little more enthusiastic, Kate. You're the one getting paid to be here, between the two of us.

KAITLYN: And YOU can stand to be a little less sweet, Rosie, you're making the cynics in the studio feel bad.

ROSE: I'd say sorry if I didn't know that wasn't your default states

KAITLYN: (Laughs) There's the cheek it takes a blue moon to find! Folks, all 8 of our regular listeners, I know you're waiting for Hannah's routine Horoscope segment, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to be the one to break the news. She has, unfortunately, contracted COVID last month.

[AUTOMATED DISSAPOINTED "AWW-ING" NOISES]

ROSE: She's vaccinated, of course, take your shots guys!- and we're praying for her swift recovery. In a week or two, she'll be back here to answer your burning questions but in the mean time, that does mean we're down our usual reading segments.

KAITLYN: HOWEVER!

ROSE: Oh goodie.

KAITLYN: We WERE able to find a GUEST as a replacement this week, you'll never guess where we found him-

ROSE: I had this uncle, well, technically uncle, he owed me a couple of favours, it's this whole thing-

KAITLYN:-and it turns out he's an Oneirocritic, which is just bonkers-

ROSE: He's oneiro-something at least.

KAITLYN:-Which is really just a fancy word for a man who can read dreams, isn't that fantastic? This will be the first time I'm meeting him as well, actually, though he's waiting here in the studio, he'll be on in just a bit-

ROSE: If you're the sort to go through any of the student forums or your emails you'll have found we've opened shop for 3 dream-related questions to be answered this week. Thank you to everyone's who's pitched in their sensible questions, and if your question wasn't chosen for this week's segment, well, there's always Friday. I know we usually have a little twinkle going for Hannah, but that seemed a bit innapropriate for our new guest, so I hope you guys are alright with getting to know him first. Is that alright, Uncle Dream?

MORPHEUS:...I suppose it must be.

KAITLYN: (flustered) Oh my. Hello.

ROSE: I'm so glad you could make it, uncle Dream, I know how you're usually so busy and all.

MORPHEUS: I am. A man of my word, Rose Walker, and you speak truthfully of debts to be repaid. It is...the least I could do.

ROSE: Well, I appreciate it anyway. Would you like to introduce yourself to our listeners?

MORPHEUS: They know who I am. Men simply forget, in waking hours.

KAITLYN: Dyou, like, sorry. You don't happen to have an ASMR video account somewhere?

MORPHEUS:...I'm afraid I do not...?

ROSE: Ignore her, she's just a bit surprised is all, you have a really nice voice, is what she's trying to say.

MORPHEUS: (Amused) Do I? I am afraid it is a simple matter of perception, then, Rose Walker. I sound as the human mind would accept me to sound.

ROSE: She imagines you to sound really nice then. About the whole introduction thing-

MORPHEUS: Yes. Your listeners, dear Rose, my Dreamers, they are well-acquainted of me. I am the lull of their stubborn minds and the gentle wandering of passion-driven, soul-starved spirits, and I walk by your sides for a third of your lives. I need no more introduction as they would of an old friend.

ROSE: Well can they-can they know a name to call you? At least?

MORPHEUS: There is power. To names.

KAITLYN: It makes it easier for the records. You know. If we need to call you back.

ROSE: Which we probably dont need to by the end of the month.

KAITLYN: Do we have your number? Did you give your number to someone? Do you have one?

ROSE: It adds to the whole relatability thing too. And I've already called you Uncle Dream at least twice on-air, might be awkward for a bunch of strangers to refer you as uncle Dream for the next two segment's worth of questions, at least.

MORPHEUS: (Hums) You are of higher wisdom, then, of course, I concede. My names are vast, and many. Which would you prefer?

ROSE: Something simple? Easy? Maybe recognizable?

MORPHEUS: Recognizable. Yes. I suppose in such matters, my name you are most acquainted with in these times would be...the Sandman.

KAITLYN: The Sandman? Really?

ROSE: Aw, that's perfect, uncle Dream! It's my little brother's favourite bedtime story.

KAITLYN: Your nephew?

ROSE: I'm sure Jed'll love it Uncle Dream.

KAITLYN: Oh that is really cute. Shit.

ROSE: Ok Mr Sandman, are you ready for your first question?

MORPHEUS: I suppose I am, as you say, ready.

ROSE: Alright, so Mattie, 23 asks-

#Radio host AU Dream of the Endless #Dream guest stars in Rose's university radio show #Dream of the Endless #Saw a post about this #Partially inspired by Night Vale #(I have not listened to a single episode its just trending cus of the sexyman poll)#And its a new Craze #The ineffable husbands radio show fic #I am so sleepy #Apparently i get my best ideas as 3 am in the morning #I'll link the post that inspired this soon #The Sandman

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