#''is not the 27 anymore'' PLEASE DONT REMIND ME. I HAD A BIG PART OF THIS DONE BY THE DATE BUT. I DIED MAN. I DIED. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

revol-lover · 4 years

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i know i have become a shit post queen but this site is a good place to just dump thoughts when i’m too lazy to actually write them down so don’t mind me. also i’m “ok enough”. like i’m not ok-ok but i’m not like badly not ok.

ok? anyway.

so idk what it is. being raised by emotionally distant parents esp my mom or the depression thats probably also related to that but man i just feel so empty for such long periods of time. empty, or maybe detached is a better word. and just really really restless. and also that when i have good emotions, i dont feel them all that much. idk. sometimes i feel like i’m on the outside looking in on my life. i have a lot of feelings but then at the same time i dont. maybe because i repress a lot then it all builds up and explodes. idk. its awful though.

i also feel like i have two very distinct sides to me. half of me is like fuck this shit i just want to self destruct but i wont because i’m too responsible to do that and the other half is like wow life is so interesting i am a spirit not a body and i want to be an enlightened being. neither of those sides of me is less me than the other. neither is a farce or anything but its fucking hard for those two sides of me to coexist. the only middle ground, which is probably like 1/3 of the time how i feel, is blah. neutral to absolutely everything.

and i think ive talked about this before but before the whole corona/quarantine thing i was at this extreme level of DONE with feeling isolated in my life, esp as a sahm. done with falling into the trap of believing being a mom was my whole identity (and its definitely a part of it, of course. but i think its unhealthy for moms to think its all we are) like i totally lost myself for a while. my daughters birth being traumatic and her having potential life long complications (and ‘potential’ meaning, her diagnosis is so complicated. theres never going to be a time where we get a real “all clear”. some kids have developed seizures again way down the road, especially at certain ages where kids go through a lot of development.) and then ofc just raising a child with all of that going on, plus normal toddler craziness, plus having a kid who is super hyper and smart and amazing but parenting after having a difficult relationship with your own mother is one of those things that is really hard and not talked about enough. i never feel like im doing enough. i never feel like she likes me.i know thats so stupid but i really am that insecure about my parenting, no matter how hard i try. i just want my child to love me and sometimes toddlers do things that make you feel like crap (ex ‘i dont want u mom i want daddy!’ and i can rationalize it, dad’s the exclusive parent. i’m just here all the time like the furniture. i get it.) and its just a big complicated thing with my emotions. not what i was trying to say tho i got off track.

anyway the isolation thing. so i had a plan. a plan!!! i have this one awesome long time friend, honestly my only friend outside of my husband who knows me like the good bad and ugly, has known me for a very long time, and has been there for me through some really tough shit. he’s like the brother i never had, truly. (i have a biological brother but we dont really talk.) so i talked to him about things i was going through and he’s also been going through a challenging time in his life and he told me he’d help me get out there. we were going to force me to learn to socialize and make friends in “real life” by putting me in those situations. we were going to go to some poetry club. a show downtown. like i was ready. then corona happened. and my already crawling out of my skin isolation got worse because hey we cant do anything now, not even see my one friend.

so yeah. i was fine in the beginning of all this because i figured, hey by may itll be over! then hey by june! then maybe 4th of july. which has become, my daughter is so excited about her birthday party in august and i dont even know if i can throw her one and i dont know how to deal with this or explain it to her.

i know this is major first world problems and im all over the place and i document this dumb shit because i hope one day i’ll be so far past it and be able to look back and think well wow i made it through 2020 but yeah idk

i think part of it is i’m turning 27 in two weeks and my saturn return thing is just getting so close and i’m starting to see the beginning of shit in my life crumbling underneath me. like i know what i gotta do. i have to put myself out there. i have to get out of my safety zone. and i have to use my gifts to help others not just sit here drowning in my self pity but obviously its hard to challenge yourself and put yourself out there, literally, during a pandemic.

and the last point which is just something that boggles my mind about myself that i dont understand. like i’m definitely depressed. i have very bad anxiety too. and even though i can be extremely self pitying and go into like a black hole of sadness, i still dont let myself do bad things. which is good, obviously. but its iike i’ve been recovered from self injury for probably about ten years but some days i am so deep in my shitty feelings or empty feelings that i just want to do it again but i cant. theres something in me that wont let me. and i guess im glad for that, obviously. i guess my life/universe/guardian angel is trying to force me to face shit for real and not just have shitty coping mechanisms but idk. like it was a bad outlet but idk. sometimes, just sometimes, i feel like it did more for me than just writing things out. which is bullshit because it did nothing for me except give me a bunch little permanent reminders of shitty times. but idk. that’s my brain for you. sometimes i want to just let it all go and be a mess in my feelings and not care if i’m ok but then my brain is like nope bitch you cant do that. youre not 17 anymore, get up.

and i know some people would read this (well no - no one would read all this lmao but in a theoretical sense) and think like, oh did you try therapy or oh maybe try meds and the thing is

therapy - i tried it. i liked the idea of it. bad fit with the therapist tho. didnt like being kicked out after 45 min (which i understand but bitch i need more than that to explain one problem) and it felt weird to be told by her, that she felt like i had a good handle on things. cause i dont really feel that way and i feel like she didnt have much to tell me in terms of how to idk fix myself besides journaling, which i’ll give her. it helps

meds: i i dont really want to go that route yet because my body is really sensitive to medication. like i dont even take bc or anything like that. however i think ive decided that since its super legal and obtainable i might try pot once we are able to move into our own place. so if anyone did actually read this far and have experience with that (esp w anxiety) please enlighten me. i had some samples of some cbd stuff and it was amazing for my anxiety but it’s way too expensive for me to use consistently.

this has been a very long shit post but i feel better so theres that.

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sirene312 · 4 years

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oh GOD guys…. You have no idea the crusade i had to went through just to be sitting here, with my dear computer working again, and enjoying the joy of 1.9 Mbps internet connection speed. First thing on the front page of my dash was three shitposts on a row, new niche memes, and good ‘ol fandom drama. god how I missed this hell site.

In case anyone wants to know what happened, I will put behind a ‘read more’ the story of a missing computer part that quickly become a detective mission, that dragged me unwillingly into the wild ride I didn’t signed for when pressing ‘buy’ on an online store.

TL;DR at the end bc this is very long. English is not my first language so please bear with me!

Okay, some of you may know a bit about me since apparently i don’t have a “dude shut up! Stop oversharing your woes!!!” button on me but hey here are some things to know about me in case you are curious: I live in Venezuela and not having internet is my personality trait, living in my country is very hard, hard like trying to play the Rainbow Road of Mario Kart but you have butter on your hands, your eyes are closed and you are running on the rain while there is a 8.0 earthquake happening. That hard. I work as a freelance graphic designer and make art commissions so me and my family can survive the economic crisis on my country, having internet and a working computer is a really big deal, like literally we eat thanks to it. Now you see how that would led me to spend a whole month chasing and stressing over a stupid part my computer needed.

Back in December, remember last season of “what’s troubling Sirene now?” where i spend almost a month without internet and then yay internet is back! for like two days? well, after Christmas there was a sudden power cut one night and i was on my computer working on a commission but since this is now a common occurrence i didn't think anything of it …until next day when i tried to switch my computer ON it didn't. I tried everything to revive it, grabbing anxiously my hair, walking on circles, and pressing continuously the power button, you know everything, but it was in vain. It’s dead, Jim. As you can imagine i had a breakdown when i realized i won’t be able to work anymore and needed to buy a new power supply since this one was toast…and was without internet friggin again. AGAIN. I survived till now using my crappy phone data but heavy apps hardly load, tumblr/ao3/twitter sometimes loaded if i refreshed them like a madman.

My computer is a tiny model and has a power supply that apparently is made by beavers in Narnia, because is so uncommon that the only stores that sell them are on my Capital city two states away from where i live. Knowing this, there is not other alternative for me but to use a online store and shipping the package here, in theory sounds simple right? a reminder that this is a third world country, where everything is falling apart and barely holding it together with chewing gum and prayers, what are the odds of something going wrong hmm….

Okay, this happened in the week after Christmas and before New Year's Eve, so of course all stores in my country decided to go on vacation and return on January. I impatiently waited for two online stores to be back on business that have the power supply i need, they were physical stores too so i thought i would be safe. i liked one more than the other and, as i told my friends, i felt like a telenovela protagonist that was on a love triangle with two galanes but the hotter one was in coma and the other just had 3 episodes in, meaning that the better rated store was still offline and the other was online but only had like 3 products sold …not very reassuring but i desperately needed to start working again so i went with that one. Big mistake.

Everything started on Tuesday, January 14.

Mercado Libre is a page where people sell things like Amazon, this is where the seller of the power supply was, after you click on buy, you can see the seller info and a chat to talk to them, i wrote but there was not immediate response so i called, i spoke to a woman and she told me to text her on WhatsApp, that should have been my first red flag, if the app had a perfect chat option there why text outside of it??

whatever, i went and text her, asked when would she send the package and she told me “tomorrow” the shipping company she was going to use is called “Zoom” (remember that name bc it will be mentioned a lot) when you send something they give the sender (the store) a tracking number the sender should give YOU in order for the shipping office (Zoom) in your city to give you the package. (this number is important)

this was my first time buying anything online so i didn’t know any of that just vaguely knew how it worked, so i asked her if she the next day would give me the tracking number or the shipping company would call me when my package was on the shipping center? and she told me “both, i will give you the number and they are going to call you” I said perfect, thank you very much and thought ‘hey that went well!’

Unknown to me, for the next 10 days i was going suffer a weird and painful skin reaction on both hands, and man…it was bad (tw graphic description of a skin condition ahead) the skin on the palm of my hands completely fell off, and it burned like i had scraped my hands on the sidewalk and someone was pouring lemon juice on them. Ouch. as you can imagine all my attention was on what was going on with my hands. I still don’t know what could have caused that severe reaction.

With difficulty texted the woman on Monday 20 i asked again for the tracking number but she said “i’m waiting for the bike delivery guy to give me the number but your package was sent” so she -the store seller- dont go personally to Zoom to send the packages and some else does, i tell the woman again to give me the number as soon as she has it, bc Zoom has an app you can check your package rute and status with that number, she said “okey amiga”.

That week, i could barely lift a fork i was suffering from whatever it was that happened to my hands until my mom found an Aloe Vera plant and i started to rub that gooey, viscose gel thingy on my hands and was slowly getting better, (seriously guys, Aloe Vera plants are a godsend keep one or 10 at home) by the time i suddenly remembered about the package it was Friday 24 the woman didn’t text me anything like she said would do and i didn’t receive any calls either all week, so friday i text her asking again for the tracking number and oh yes finally she has it! My happiness was short lived because……THE PACKAGE WAS RETURNED.

Something occurred and there was an error on the address or something (I triple checked all my personal info was in order before i gave it to her -thanks anxiety!- so i know it was not on me) i was so furious if only the woman had given me the friggin number sooner that week, i would have realized there was something wrong and would have gone to the Zoom on my city where the package was being held before it was returned to the capital. She told me she would send again my package that Friday BUT Zoom only works mon-fri not weekends. Now I need to wait till monday to receive my thing. great.

Monday 27 rolls in and that week i proceeded to text the woman EVERY SINGLE DAY asking if she had sent my package, i hated being a nuisance texting so much but it was necessary, money is getting short and we need food.

On Wed 29 I even texted her a desperate plea, i told her please i need my power supply to start working again! and you know how she responded? BY LEAVING ME ON SEEN. i called her until she answered and she told me “oh i sent it today” she assured me, in the most unsure voice she could muster, that she totally did it.

So I went the next day to the Zoom office and surprise! it was a lie, she didn’t send anything, nada! again asked her for the new track.num. and she told me “amiga the thing is that …the package has not arrived here. is still in your State.“ [*record scratch*] hmm whAT?

I immediately called Zoom and asked them to tell me where my package is? Where is it!?, it’s still in my city or in the Capital?? So they gave me a number for the returned package to check on the app and…said it arrived at the Capital Fri. 24. Not only that but it was marked as "given to the client” aka the sender.

Now I realize this woman has been lying to me. For a whole week. I text her screenshots of where the package was and she tells me that supposedly the package is not on Zoom there and insists it is here in my State. A friend knows someone that works on Zoom that checks their database and confirms that no, is not here anywhere and that definitely arrived in the Capital. even shows that a man named A. Rodriguez was the one that picked up the package. Who is this man?? what's going on?

here's a meme i sent my friends in the group chat while i was trying not to freak out about all this.

This has become a "she-said, he-said" situation because the woman keeps insisting Zoom is the one at fault about the whereabouts of my missing package but Zoom says Hold it! And slaps continuous evidence that shows the places where the package has been at all times.

Meanwhile I’m like “where the hell is my power supply??? All I want is to work. Why is this happening to me?” ;_;

So far what we know:

Package arrived in my city but was returned to the city of origin (the Capital) on Friday 24.

The following week the store seller lied to me and would everyday promise to send the package again to me. and never did.

On Thursday 30 the woman tells me that the package never arrived from my city and she’s waiting for it to “arrive” but the shipping office tells me the package was returned a week ago on Fri. 24 so it’s impossible that it has not arrived. not for nothing they are called ZOOM they deliver fast.

the app even says “given to the client”, and one thing I know for a fact, is that it is near impossible to pick up a package from there without the friggin tracking number, they won’t even give you info about it without it. so it’s very unlikely that a random person just walked away with it.

so we have two possibilities:

1. Someone from Zoom stole it. Ok, feasible. Corrupt people working on this kind of service in my country steal things of value all the time. still i doubt this was the case, the company seemed really concerned and would try their best to help me find my package giving me all the info i requested, even the name of the person who took it.

2. the store seller lied again and the man who took the package is the same bike delivery guy that transported it there in the first place. That's how they were able to take it from there so easily. She denied knowing anyone named A. Rodriguez but she has lied before so i don’t trust her word. To me, this is the more likely scenario for what happened to the package.

February comes and still I have no idea where is my package and the woman keeps making excuses as to why she “hasn’t found it” she again leaves me on seen after I asked for information, next day I called her non stop because now I’m pissed and i want answers, she finally text me that she will send another power supply since she “couldn’t find the first one” no further explanation whatsoever, and tells me will send it on Friday, but remember that Zoom don’t work on weekends so the new package will be staying on the Zoom office until Monday, my friend tells me that is not good what if the thief works there and steals it again? so I asked the woman to send it on Monday and she tells me that only Tuesdays they send all their stuff to be delivered….now she tells me the store have a specific delivery day? Now?

I’m not happy about waiting for more days but there is nothing i can do about it so February 11 is here and I send the woman a text telling her to take a photo of the receipt with the tracking number so the story of the first package won’t repeat, and guess what? The woman left me on seen!! you don’t know how that blue seen mark got me shook. that stressed me so bad that finally I had enough, my friends encouraged me to cancel the order and ask for a refund, I stopped texting her on WhatsApp and left a ultimatum on the Mercado Libre chat, that way I had proof on that page of the fraud this woman was pulling on me and could get her banned there. I should have done that before but the need to repair my computer blinded me and was what kept me trying so hard to get my power supply. Desperation can drive you to make foolish decisions.

After my ultimatum, the woman changed her tune and was very solicitous, and replied super fast, even said on the chat “let it be noted we are a serious company and always answered all your messages” yes, she said THAT, can you believe the audacity, the nerve? I immediately reply “since you didn’t answer any of my texts yesterday, can’t fault me for expressing here my concern about my purchase.” Then I said very politely but with finality that if she did not send me the photo of the receipt with the tracking number the next day I would not hesitate bitch to ask for a refund. And what do you know? Worked like a charm. The next day the first thing in the morning on my phone was a photo of the receipt.

SO yes this unnecessary long story has an anticlimactic but happy end after all! Next morning I happily went to the Zoom office and after a whole month of countless lies, unanswered texts, blood, sweat, and tears, I picked up mypower supply. Reunited at long last! This happened on February 14. Valentine’s Day. Love -and being persistent af- always wins!

TL;DR I bought online a new power supply, the seller tried to scam me or something bc lied about how my purchase was “lost” saying the shipping company was the culprit. Sending me on a wild goose chase trying to find my package. i had to threaten her with a refund to get her to send me finally my power supply.

#this is why i disappeared for a while #can't believe this drama lasted for a whole month #but im glad its finally over

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mysticdragon3md3 · 4 years

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reactions to Demon Slayer KNY ep3-6

9:28 PM 8/24/2020 Demon Slayer Kimetsu no Yaiba ep3

I have this terrible habit of avoiding good anime, even if I've seen enough clips or episodes to know I enjoy it. Or maybe because of that. I'm always so afraid of how terrible I'll feel, when watching the anime makes me so distracted, that my entire day is unproductive. Adn then there's the emotional investment in great characters and archetypes I know I'll love. That's just too much emotional exhaustion when I'm already dealing with anxiety/depression almost daily. It's why I pretty much abandoned all other genres besides iyashikei and slice of life, for the past 2 decades.

I used to LOOOOOOOOOVE the "demon slayer" subgenre. Devil Hunter Yohko, Phantom Quest Corp, Devil May Cry, Claymore, Bleach, etc. I loved martial arts anime too. Even before I got into online artist communities/spaces, and heard their encouragement philosophies about improving skill and focusing on one's own progression vs comparison to other, etc., I had heard it all already from martial arts anime. And I really needed it. I needed the Fighting Spirit themes of teh "demon slayer" genre too. Back when i was forced into costantly, daily socializing, my anxiety/depression was under so much more pressure. I needed to emmerse myself into those "Fighting Spirit" and "martial arts anime" mentalities to survive. And I'll admit it was addictive. So addictive, that I subconsciously distained my older brother's lamentations about being too tired for all that spiritual Fighting anymore. But now I'm also tired. I'm glad I can understand him now and no longer feel negatively towards someone I care about. But man, I'm just so tired of all this spiritual Fighting required to live. I'm tired of this "being alive" thing, that I'm just not cut-out for. Maybe these days, watching the "demon slayer" and "martial arts anime" genres, just make me tired. I don't have the energy for those Fights anymore, even vicariously.

9:36 PM 8/24/2020 Even right now, I'm getting too distracted. I have to stop watching. ;___; 8:28/23:40

. . .

4:39 AM 8/27/2020 Going to continue Kimetsu no Yaiba ep3.

I'll say it again. I'm too suspicious now, when soem Shonen protagonist advocates "bearing things in silence". Maybe I used to buy into that, that now it's just toxic masculinity to me. I used to be AAAAAALLLLLLLLLL about bearing everything in silence and being all "manly" about it. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm female-presenting, then the people around me, my family, probably wouldn't have constantly chided me to express my feelings more. Meanwhile, my linebacker brothers was avidly collecting romance genre manga, proudly loved cute things, and saying "fuck you" to anyone who would make fun of him for what he liked. So compared to my repression, who was the Stronger "man"? There I was, constantly afraid---afraid of showing my feelings, of anyone seeing me cry, of complaining when I was in physical pain, of "causing trouble" by asking for any help, of even telling my orthodontist that the new mouthpiece was jamming into the roof of my mouth everyday until there was a wire-shaped indentation---I was constantly afraid of sharing my feelings, or even letting anyoen know I liked romance, cute things, and anything emotionally vulnerable. I, with all my repression, was the one constantly afraid and thus Weak. My brother, was the Stronger man for not caring about that "manly" image. Meanwhile, I was sooooooo obsessed with attainting that "manly" image. It was a really stupid Weakness. So please excuse me, but nowadays I'm suspicious of "masculine" stories/protagonists who advocate for emotional repression.

5:13 AM 8/27/2020 Well, Crunchyroll crashed again. Should I go for a 3rd try at finishing ep3? Naw, it's too distracting. But I guess I'm still eating breakfast...I could watch some more.

Well, at least this guy recognizes that Tanjiro is worrying about him. Though, he was likely sarcastic. ~.~; As always, Compassion (and recognizing it as the greatest Strength) is my favorite story theme.

More of this "being a real man talk" is kind of grating on me for some reason. I wonder if I stopped watching as much Shonen anime as I used to, because I've out-grown those "be a real man" themes. I thought I was just leaning more towards the iyashikei genre this decade, because of my depression and anxiety. But maybe I've also recognized all the mental health experts saying that emotional repression is bad. But I still admire many traits that media says is "a real man". I wish I could regain some of the Strength I had back when I was trying so hard to be "manly"...Without the probably-bipolar suicidal depression every couple weeks, of course. Though, if I was suicidal, back when I was spiritally Fighting all the time, while I was ALL-IN on being "manly", it's probaby a sign that that way of life wasn't exactly great either. Time for a new one. Maybe I have moved on from loving the Shonen genre. ...Still love Claymore though. And the "battle anime" subgenre. More of that please.

5:34 AM 8/27/2020 Well, I finally finished ep3, after all this time.

I really wonder why I don't like Demon Slayer more. I should be EAGER to binge this series, have already finished it, and preordered the Nendoroids by now. But I'm just not that compelled. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????????????????????????????? I really don't understand it. The protagonist is th earnest Compassionate type that I love. The art style and animation is beautiful. The story is the "demon hunter" and "battle anime" genres that I love. Why aren't I compelled to follow these characters more? What more do I need?

5:54 AM 8/27/2020 Well, I'm watching this series becasue some part of me still recognizes that I still love/need that Fighting Spirit of the Shonen genre. I may not want to return to that toxic masculine mindset that used to exaserbate my deprssion. But I don't want to watch ONLY iyashikei for the rest of my life. I may have outgrown binging nothing but Shonen anime, but the new path I need now should be a combination of the Shonen I use to watch and the iyashikei I watch now. That's why I'm still trying to watch more Demon Slayer Kimetsu no Yaiba.

. . .

5:40 PM 9/17/2020 Demon Slayer Kimetsu no Yaiba ep4

6:09 PM 9/17/2020 Well, that was good. REally felt something doing the battles. Which is exceptional because I was depressed most of yesterday and started this ep so apathetic. Being apathetic to stakes has been so common with me lately, that I've given up and just watched series with little to no stakes. Depression will do that. And anyway, that conflict-free iyashikei genre was soothing for my depression. But I knew I really needed to watch a Shonen series that could really touch me, get me motivated again. And KNY wasn't really compelling me to watch successive series. But after this episode's fight, I see what everyone had been glowing praise about for this series' sakuga fight scenes.

Anyway, I really liked how Tanjiro didn't run away from the big demon and instead prioritized saving that other examee. I also liked that he got angry for the dead student, still showing compassion for them, even though they were already dead.

Tanjiro's sense of smell and seeing the opening threads, and especially when he sensed the demon's arms coming to attack him from underground, really reminded me of Claymore. lol -----------------------------------------

. . .

6:14 PM 9/17/2020 ep5

I guess that big demon who got trapped by Urokodaki isn't dead yet if he's getting this flashback.

Aw, Tanjiro is showing compassion even to this demon. ;u; You know just the themes I like, KNY! ;u;!!! ...Wait. Am I gonna regret not buying all thos KNY Nendoroids?! ;O;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Noooooooooooooooo!

His sense of smell is really becoming like an empathic power!

Is their rank getting engravee on their swords? Does that mean each time they change rank, their swords get re-engraved? Maybe rank changes don't happen often.

So are those girls just dolls?

I can't believe we're this far into the series of watching Tanjiro's sense of smell do amazing things, and he still doesn't know how to choose ore. It would be cool if it didn't matter which they chose, because the swordsman would give the sword teh appropriate power.

"Even my uniform is heavy". I know that feel. Then again, maybe it's one of those weighted clothes, like DBZ? lol

FAmily hugs. I guess Tanjiro and Nezuko are Urokodaki's kids now.

"Morphed Demon". That's the phrase.

Recovering by sleeping vs eating humans? Like I always said in college, when you can't eat, sleep; when you can't sleep, eat.

"Child of Brightness".

So are they saying the swords can kill demons because they absorb sunlight as ore?

Yeah, that's about right for 37. lol

I just realized I haven't watched a demon hunting series since Claymore. It's so weird to see a slayer get orders, without all the indifference to the villagers. lol

. . .

5:30 PM 9/19/2020 Demon Slayer Kimetsu no Yaiba ep6

Riiiiight...Black blade demon slayers dont' get far? No one knows much about them? We've consumed enough stories to know the characters with "unknown factors" are the ones with infinite potential to evolve and grow enormous power.

Nezuko is super cute, but it's so strange that she used to be a fully functioning person, and now she acts like a childish puppy. It's really tough to be a feminist but also love ingenues and cute regressive characters. x_x;

"Abducted"? Aren't they totally dead? If this story is setting up that the girls were kidnapped...What are the demons doing with them?

An uneven scent? Isn't that normal for intermittent killings happening over several days' time?

Like I've said, it's been a while since I've gotten into a demon hunting series, and the last one I was into was Claymore. But is this another series where they'll set up a character that turns out to be a demon disguised as a human or maybe even doesn't realize they're a demon? I hope Kazumi isn't a demon.

Only one type---No, one individual demon. Kibutsuji Mujan? Mibutsuji Muzan.

Oh, the demon is actually talking to Tanjiro.

Lose flavor? See? They're being eaten, not kidnapped. Though, that Muzan guy is probably kidnapping people.

Is that calmer of the demon trio played by NOBUTOSHI KANNA??????????????????????? *O*!!!!!!!!! <3

The montage merging the thoughs of Kazumi with Tanjiro's was a nice technique to show Tanjiro's sympathy.

Aw, man! The overlap of Nezuko's nostalgic perspecitve onto kazumi and this new girl is really effective! ;o;!!! Don't make me cry, KNY!

Aw, but it's not as effective to know she's protecting humans because Kurokodaki put a hypnosis suggestion on her! It's more heartfelt to know that she herself chooses to hold people dear and protect humans so that they don't suffer the way her and her family did! Then you'd know there's still something going on in her head, even though she's likely not going to speak for the rest of this series (until probably the end or a climax). Is Nezuko just going to be this blank, 2D, vessel for fighting, while distracting us from another underdeveloped female character, by being such a cute mascot that even I've falling for it????

#reactions #md3 watches demon slayer kimetsu no yaiba #md3watches

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i-amusemyself · 6 years

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All Lets Get Personal.

Thanks anon!! My depressed ass needed something to do

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

It really depends on my mood tbh. But judging by my YouTube playlists:

Church- Fall out boy; Hopeless Wanderer- Mumford and Sons (its a jam okay?); Summertime- my chemical romance; so cold- ben cocks; this is me- keala settle and killing in the same- rage against the machine

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Lmao idk I dont have much of an interest in anyone atm. I still think itd be cool to meet kaitlyn alexander ig

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

You recognise each other the moment your eyes meet. It’s a question and answer book and the question is about soulmates or something

4: What do you think about most?

What it is I need to do to stop feeling anxious or stressed since it’s a daily battle

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“it was hillarious but I couldn’t say “lmao I’ve seen women take bigger” so I just let the conversation die but I was urging to show him a savage video and ruin him just to be right but then I stopped myself”

Yes, it is as bad in context as out of it.

Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Depends how warm it is tbh

What’s your strangest talent?

Talent? What’s that?? Idk I’m quite good at picking up languages super fast for some unknown reason (but i can forget them just as quick soo

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are hot hot hot they make me gay

Boys are hot hot hot they make me gay

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Nah, but I’m not major sad about it since that’d be so awkward

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Oh gosh um probably in the car the other day, canny remember which song it was tho

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

I seriously hate water like to the point I chose my uni based on where the lakes were. I also hate stuffed toys with voice boxes.

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Probably but I don’t remember

13: What’s your religion?

I’m an athiest

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Walking between indoor places

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind it! I’m not photogenic

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Ummmmmmm idk. I genuinly don’t know. I probably listen to five finger death punch most atm?

17: What was the last lie you told?

I said I was feeling good lmao

18: Do you believe in karma?

I don’t know, but I like to hope it does to make myself feel better

19: What does your URL mean?

I think it’s pretty self explanatory

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

My greatest weakness? Probably my low opinion of myself or my associated jealousy.

My greatest strength? A few years ago I mightve said my resilience but I’m not sure I ever have that anymore. Idk, maybe my need to always keep improving as a person

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

See number 2 tbh

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Yah every time I have a bath

23: How do you vent your anger?

I send massive long rant paragraphs to my closest friends and try not to do anything stupid or unhealthy

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

I have a pretty big collection of reaction images and memes

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

I hate both but video chatting is slightly better

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I suppose. I’m closer to being happy with them than I ever have been and that’s what matters.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

At this point I hate the sound of my alarm more than most things and I love... idk music. Does that count?

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I’d stood up for myself more?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I don’t know as I believe in ghosts but I’m fascinated by the people who do. As for aliens ofc they exist.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

I touch sofa. Both times. I’m sat on a sofa.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

I smell rabbit since he’s currently sat with me in a box. I got lonely.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

Gosh I don’t know. I can’t really think of anywhere I’ve hated being, besides home sometimes. I don’t know, no where has been that bad since I always try to make the best of it.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

East coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Opposite eh? Lmaoooo

Okay I actually have quite a thing for the lead singer of motionless in white. Make of that what you will.

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

To be happy, to go good and to die with as few regrets as possible

36: Define Art.

Fuck. Something visual this is made to be aesthetically pleasing or convey a message. I guess.

37: Do you believe in luck?

I’m not entirely sure what luck is. Maybe?

38: What’s the weather like right now?

Fekkin horrible, you wouldn’t know it’s spring. It’s grey and wet and windy and cold.

39: What time is it?

17:51

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I have a full license but haven’t actually driven since my test, so I haven’t had a chance to crash.

41: What was the last book you read?

When breath becomes air. It’s about being a doctor.

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

I adore it yaas

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Char, (wholemeal) chorlo and Thot lmao

44: What was the last film you saw?

Love, Simon

Go see it, it’s gay and beautiful!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Idk, I broke my humorous after dislocating my elbow once. But that was ages ago

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Hundreds lmao thats my childhood right there

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

I’m too depressed to have much of an interest in anything tbh. Even when I’m not I don’t tend to get That Invested.

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

Bisexual, ig. Though saying it never feels right for some reason.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

A few, a few. One being that I was a lesbian years before even I knew I wasn’t straight.

50: Do you believe in magic?

Not really but who knows

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

The threshold for grudges is pretty high but if I have one I’ll be bitter til the day I die

52: What is your astrological sign?

Libra

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I swing wildly between saving loads and spending loads. Healthy.

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

Um I mean I paid the deposit on a house, does that count?

55: Love or lust?

Love, for sure

56: In a relationship?

Yeah XD

57: How many relationships have you had?

This is like my third proper one

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

Nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

At home on my tod again, revising

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Nah

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Yuup

62: What’s your favourite animal?

I love all the animals I can’t pick a favourite. I love alpacas, chimps, gorrillas, orangutans, lizards, elephants, octopuses etc etc

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Excessive praying and reblogging lucky posts

64: Where is your best friend?

Tbh I have multiple, one in the next village, one 6 hours south and one 4000 miles away

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

Christ um, people I spam with likes most are probably @oneshappyplace @apricot-el @only-slightly-dangerous @succeeding and @setheverman

66: What is your heritage?

I’m white as a toilet so my family probably murdered a lot of innocent people

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Umm I was skyping my boyf and playing a game online with him

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Trump

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Yeah, haven’t most people?

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

I like to think so yeah. Though I do have a lot of breakdowns so maybe without that part. @ my friends I apologise

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Help the dog. Though realistically I probably couldn’t do it alone, so would call someone over to help and leave asap to not be so late.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I think I’d tell the people closest to me, yeah. I don’t know what I’d do though. Probably book as many flights as possible and visit all the countries I’ve always wanted to go to. I guess I’d probably write my will and organise a funeral too. I don’t think I’d be too afraid, just, idk, sad? I don’t want to disappear to nothingness yet, even if I won’t know when it happens.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Argh that’s horrid. I mean trust is essential for all relationships imo. But if I had no love at all in my life I doubt I’d live very long at all. So... love? No wait,,, trust. Yeah trust.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men. It reminds me of a school trip years ago to Belgium that was such a good time

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

8008

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Well, trust ig, being able to talk about anything, a good balance of affection and roasting. Idk

77: How can I win your heart?

Be kind, be funny and have layers.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

I suppose so

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

The decision to reply to the message that appeared in my inbox right before I was going to end it. There were plenty, but I only opened that one. The person who sent it changed my life.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Either a pun or something ominous. Maybe both.

82: What is your favourite word?

Probably sorry since I say it a lot

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Love, followed quickly by the mental image of a dissected heart

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

I amuse myself. Gotta keep up that brand sponning.

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Don’t feel like dancing by the scissor sisters lmao

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Black, red and purple

87: What is your current desktop picture?

Just a galaxy

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Donald. Trump. When in close proximity to Mike Pence too.

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Besides “what are your credit card details”? Idk, perhaps a question about the flaws of the people closest to me, since they’re something I wouldn’t want them to read.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Lie there still for a good 5 minutes just to make sure. Maybe chuck a pillow across the room to see if they attack it. Then go fetch my phone and call whoever will pick up to ask wtf to do.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

The ability to fly probably. It’d help stop me being late and transport is so expensive these days.

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

A half hour period of the time me and my friend spent outside laughing our heads off and covered in glitter when I visited her in the states last summer

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Damn, only one? Lmao catch me ranking my traumas to try to answer this question. I’ll erase getting flooded and being made homeless I think lmao

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Probably P!nk since she was low key my gay awakening

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

I quite fancy going to amsterdam rn, or failing that, copenhagen

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not that I know of

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

Only as a little kid

98: Ever been on a plane?

Plenty of times yeah, I love it

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

I wish there was some way I could convince all the dictators, extremists and right wingers to just fekkin stop tbh. Centrists can stay but theyre on thin ice.

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