#😲 i need him btw. like Soooooooo BAD.
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hysterical, hysteria, etc.
#off my rocker rn.#ellie rambles about stuff#he spun the stars on his fingernails (tag)#😲 i need him btw. like Soooooooo BAD.#need more touch! need more touch! oy i don't know if i'll ever be satisfied 😔#hmmm on some level i know i can't be. i know that. and it's in part because of him. whateverrrr 😒#like uhhh i can be content with knowing I Too Shall Die and all but it's not the same as living in#the Here and Now with him. like it does make this all feel a little bit Not Worth It. because it's betting on an uncertainty.#but it is what i must content myself with if i am to not fully submit to my yearning for death! i have to feed death like a pet until#it finally decides to take me. it's how i get by in this baka fucking world.#putting my hope in uncertainty. my faith in a promise. you could even say i'm... living on a prayer.#lmaooo but Seriously. yeah 👍#i need to fuck him sooooo bad i might faint.#/vent#suggestive#G-d brought us together mentally and by G-d He'll do it physically too one of these days. or so help me G-d i will kill Us both.
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