#⤷ kakashi h.【 ❝ i’m afraid i got lost on the road of life. ❞ 】interactions.
@maitiest. { kakashi & gai. }
it felt like it took ages to get out of his own head ( his dad , obito , rin , and now minato-sensei and kushina -- ) , but a few hours after seeing sensei and kushina fall , he suddenly realised that he had no idea if anyone else had made it. kurenai and asuma and gai --
kakashi was uninjured ( and it seemed impossible since minato-sensei and kushina were -- and he didn’t do anything , couldn’t do anything to stop it -- ) , but he stopped by a medical tent and saw a familiar green figure. he lands , unsure of what he was going to see , but he certainly hadn’t expected to see gai holding a baby to his chest , eyes so clearly enamored with it.
( “ you’re going to be naruto’s big brother. “ ) and kakashi had to hold back a wince.
‘ ... are you unhurt ? ’ he asks , even though it seems like it was the case. his voice was painfully neutral , as if he hadn’t spent the last few hours checked out.
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@fowleyes { kakashi }.
he feels dizzy. it’s unfortunately a very familiar feeling -- waking up while suffering from chakra exhaustion. his body feels heavy , his mind sluggish. he’s not -- for the first few seconds , he doesn’t quite remember what could have caused his state , and then the memory hits.
( crow had been hit with a lucky blow , and one of their opponents had been about to kill him , and fox was too far , and kakashi wasn’t going to let another one of his comrades die , and obito’s eye grew painful and he could feel it spin as the shinobi who had been about to kill itachi’s arms gush out in a haze of blood. the last thing kakashi had seen was the blood splashing on crow’s mask before his vision became black ).
... it’s unlikely that they were captured as he’s pretty sure their opponents wanted to kill them. so , after kakashi passed out , itachi must have killed the rest of their opponents. he opens his eye and sees itachi sitting down beside him , eyes steady on kakashi’s face. kakashi lets out a breath before fox orders , ‘ sitrep. ’ ( whatever question that itachi wants to ask from his expression can wait until crow reports ).
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@allgather asked: minato is so agonizingly slow on his feet and it's as unfamiliar as it is aggravating. he's gotten up from bed on his own, in all likelihood far too soon, but he's restless. recovery is long and minato is languishing. it is a frustration he doesn't know how to name, being told to sit and wait while there is a village to rebuild, children to take care of, and grief to distract himself from. kakashi has finally nodded off along with naruto, after helping minato put the baby down for his nap. his body is still where it lays on the living room couch, aside from the rise and fall of his chest. minato seizes the opportunity; he intends to cook dinner for the pair of them, to give kakashi an evening off and some (hopefully) undisturbed rest. he worries for kakashi, of course he does, his young student and his diligent watching, his tireless care. he's just a child, after all.
movement on crutches is sloppy, unsteady, and minato bangs against the edge of the cupboard as he passes by. only a slight disturbance but the child who lays sleeping on his couch has ears like a dog and a trained response to wake at the slightest provocation. shit.
he hadn't planned on falling asleep. ( he has to stay and help minato-sensei , he can't be a liability himself. not when he hadn't helped before , not when he had helped to take away so many people minato-sensei loved. ). when he hears a noise , he sits up , kunai in hand and obito's sharingan open and spinning ( no one was going to hurt minato-sensei or naruto , not while he still had breath. ). upon seeing minato-sensei , who he realises in a split second is the source of the noise , kakashi closes obito's eye and puts the kunai away as he frowns.
' minato-sensei , you shouldn't be up. ' kakashi's voice is chiding as he slips off the couch , movements graceful. he strides to minato-sensei without hesitation , scowl clear despite the mask on his face. ' sit down. what did you need ? are you hungry ? thirsty ? i'll get it for you. '
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@9fox asked: bb naruto: jumps onto kakashi's back
it would be easy to substitute himself with a log or to dodge naruto completely and let him fall to the ground , but the part of him that looks at naruto and remembers that kushina had once smiled at him and told him that he’d be naruto’s big brother forces him to keep still and allow the blonde to land onto his back. kakashi sighs a little , sagging as if naruto was heavy ( but he wasn’t , it was the ghosts that still haunt kakashi to this day ). ‘ naruto ... you have ten seconds to get off of me ... ’
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@ruinrisen. { gaara & kakashi. }.
‘ maa , gaara-kun. ’ eye smile firm on his mostly-covered face as the genuine fondness in his voice is unmistakable. ( he technically has no reason to be proud of the younger shinobi , having had no hand in his development and technically being too little , too late to save his life , but it’s true he feels pride nonetheless. a lot has changed since the other was twelve -- going from someone who hated bonds to the commander of the allied shinobi forces ... ). ‘ what business does the commander have with an old man like me ? ’
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@survyve broke / touched kakashi’s heart: the young genin approaches kakashi , nothing in hand , acting calm & collected despite the nervousness that inhabits him. " you're ... kinda like a dad , right ? so. happy father's day. or ... whatever. " he stops for a minute & scowls. " never mind. this is stupid. "
kakashi had never had any designs to being a parent. why would he ? he knows just how ... fucked up parents can make their children , even without trying , and kakashi knows that he’s too messed up to have his own. ( it’s also one of the main reasons he hadn’t wanted to become a jōnin-sensei in the first place until team 7 had nestled themselves into his heart before he had really known it ).
father’s day hasn’t been much of a day for him in a long time. in the mornings , he makes his way to his father’s graveyard and leaves him his favourite food , but that’s all he tends to do. ( minato-sensei was different. he could have been an older brother and a father-figure all in one , but kakashi had barely let him in since he hadn’t wanted it to hurt so much when he lost him. little had he known , it had hurt more. ).
so , it had certainly surprised him that sasuke , one who seemed to try as hard to push people away as kakashi once had , nervous underneath his calm exterior only to say , " you're ... kinda like a dad , right ? so. happy father's day. or ... whatever. " he stops for a minute & scowls. " never mind. this is stupid. "
( obito’s eye was acting up again , and he could feel the cloth of rin’s forehead protector covering obito’s eye dampen ).
kakashi reaches out to grab sasuke’s shoulder before he could turn away , feeling awkward and yet touched. ‘ no , no , it isn’t stupid. ’ how could he put into words what he wants to ? the idea that kakashi can at all be emotionally intelligent to come up with the right words to say is laughable , even to himself. this is not a joke , and so he doesn’t make it one , genuine smile crossing his face as fondness coats his next words , ‘ thank you ... sasuke. ’
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@survyve. { kakashi & sasuke }.
he understands better than most what sasuke is going through. not quite on the same scale , but ... ( a loved one killing his family ... being angry and hurt and lashing out in pain while withdrawing within ... sasuke reminds kakashi of himself in all the worst ways ). it’s why he’s trying so hard to get to sasuke , even going so far as typing him up. it’s why kakashi doesn’t say anything at first when sasuke spits viscious words , “ i could kill the person most precious to you ! then you’d know how wrong you are ! ”
of course kakashi’s thoughts go towards his long-dead team and his father ( who he’s forgiven ever since obito woke him up ). when he thinks about people precious to him ... the list has grown since , of course. even , sometimes , without his approval. ( he had never had any intentions of having precious people again after ... after everyone ). but , they’d slip into his heart and into his life regardless.
it’s for that reason that kakashi doesn’t voice his first thought ( “ all of those precious to me have already been killed. ” ). it’s not entirely true , after all. what is true is ... ‘ of course , you certainly could , ’ kakashi agrees mildly. ‘ but then , you’d have to kill naruto and sakura , and then yourself. ’
leaving that hanging in the air for a moment , kakashi sits down in front of sasuke , loosening his bonds , lowering himself to sasuke’s level. he may have to talk about somethings that he never wants to talk about , but it’d be better if there was no resistance , if sasuke wants to be there. ‘ so ... are you going to ? or are you willing to sit and listen ? ’
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@9fox joked: naruto v c papa?
singular eye stares into the far distance. ( it’s a common reaction when dealing with the inane things naruto says on a constant basis ). ‘ i’m really not old enough to be your dad , as much as you may call me an old man at times. ’ damn it , kushina , couldn’t naruto have gotten LESS of your personality traits ?
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@maitiest { gai & kakashi // sanbi au. }.
‘ ... have you been able to see him since ? ’ tsunade-sama had ordered him away from missions and to stay close in the village ever since lee had shocked the world by working together with the niibi to cloak himself in her chakra. ( with konoha having three jinchūriki now , two known , it was more important than ever that kakashi’s status remained secret ). he has heard , however , that lee was ... gone often , and not in a way that sounded happy. as such , he was worried about his old friend and made sure to seek him out.
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@mythunderlegion asked: “ i know you can manage it , you just don’t have to. ” ( kurenai to kakashi. ).
it’s certainly different , being on a regular jōnin mission than an anbu mission. of course , being on a jōnin mission after being taken from bedrest from his last anbu mission isn’t quite the same. ( he’s pretty sure he could have done this mission in his sleep if he had been at full capacity. of course , that’s not how his luck goes ). he shrugs at kurenai’s statement , usual idle words silent. ( mainly because it’s taking a lot of focus to remain upright. at least the mission objectives are already done , they just have to travel back to konoha at this point. ). ‘ i’m fine. ’
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kakashi: open ( for any of his students / friends ).
‘ you still want to see under my mask ? ’ kakashi lets a sweatdrop fall down the side of his face as he scratches the side of his head with his index finger. ‘ aren’t you a little bit too old for this ? ’
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@allgather. { kakashi. }.
‘ itachi said you wanted to talk to me ? ’ it was interesting that kakashi’s old precious little kōhai reached out to him despite having never done so while they were on the same anbu team , but kakashi understands ( it’s different if it’s for yourself versus someone you love ).
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@ournindos.
‘ here you go. ’ despite the casual tone , the way kakashi hands over the photo book is gently , his attachment to it obvious. it’s taken -- way too long , to be able to share this , so long that naruto has already met shades of his parents and fought with his dead father in the fourth war , but ( kakashi has never felt ready to share this. perhaps it was selfish of him , but minato-sensei and kushina-san’s death had never scabbed over , really. not until recently. ). ‘ kushina-san and minato-sensei both loved taking pictures , so there’s a lot in there. ’ and , thankfully , they had survived all wars and pein’s attack.
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@amaeranthos. { kakashi & sakura. }
stuck in konoha for a good week until his latest wounds from the last mission have healed , kakashi blinks in surprise at the request sakura had for him over their ( at least ) monthly lunches. ( with both of their schedules hectic due to kakashi running back to back a and s-rank missions and sakura’s shifts at the hospital , they try to get lunch at least once a month. well , outside of kakashi’s hospital room for when he was stuck there for a while after a particularly hard mission. ).
‘ wouldn’t it be better to ask tsunade-sama ? ’ kakashi wonders out loud. he knows that sakura has been working on poisons recently ( kakashi had stolen quite a few different types of poisons from the corpses of shinobi throughout several missions for sakura to play with ) , but there was a difference between playing with poisons in a laboratory , trying to find antidotes , and to introduce a poison to one’s body to gather immunity or , at least , resistance. it’s nothing kakashi hasn’t done before ( either on purpose or through necessity ) , but it would definitely be safer with the hokage than with him.
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@taildbeasts. { isobu & kakashi }.
it felt like he was sinking underwater despite how much his eye and his abdomen burned. it was almost calming , in a way , letting himself get pulled deeper and deeper. ( there’s something he feels like he’s forgetting , something important ). he can breathe , still , and he knows he can move , but ...
kakashi opens his eye when he feels himself touch the bottom of the ocean , and there was the sanbi. he was huge -- bigger than minato-sensei’s summons -- with three spikey tails moving about. and , in an instant , he remembers ( “ kakashi. ” ) , and any calm he felt washes away in the tide of his grief and anger.
( the kiri shinobi must have succeeded , putting the sanbi into kakashi once he passed out , and that’s almost ridiculous in a way -- for neither kakashi nor rin to die immediately when the sanbi was sealed inside , no automatic failure of the seal. not that it matters , kakashi darkly thinks , when the seal only has to hold long enough for kakashi to reach konoha soil , to continue where rin -- rin -- ).
he can’t afford to show any weakness in front of the sanbi , but if the sanbi has been watching , or could see kakashi’s thoughts , it’s already too late. regardless , kakashi keeps a neutral expression as he asks , without any hint of emotion in his eye or voice , ‘ do they often treat you no better than a mindless bomb ? ’
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@uchibito.
exhaustion has always weighed heavy on kakashi’s shoulders -- age and time has not changed that. ( he’s had drastic nightmares since the age of six , and when rin died -- well , a peaceful night’s sleep only happened when kakashi was too injured to really dream ). still , exhaustion from missions and nightmares and exhaustion from all of the paperwork and changes to be made felt difficult.
( it did feel just the tiniest bit lighter , even if his brain felt like mush sometimes , trying to figure out the best way to manipulate everything so that changes could be made more easily either now or when naruto was to be hokage ).
he toes off his sandals , surprised to see the light of the kitchen from the doorway at two am , but rather than ignoring it and heading straight to sleep , kakashi moves towards the kitchen and tilts his head slightly at the sight of obito sitting at the kitchen table. ‘ what’s up ? ’
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