#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞「 shitposts 」
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//decided to fill out one of those ship template memes with sal and his human boytoy <3 the bitch-ass hippie loser he's forever bonded with <3 using how old they are in modern verses, as opposed to how old they are when they first meet.
as a note, if you've seen me refer to a character named jason or billy, that's the same dude. his real name is jason booth but salvatore calls him 'billy whitebread' as a joke and at this point he's just accepted it. he uses both names just fine.
#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞ 「 ooc 」#❝ we got ourselves a tough guy over here ! ❞「 billy 」#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞ 「 shitposts 」#//also yeah lmao quite the age gap. dw about it#//sal and jason have been together in some capacity for 27 years#//sometimes true love is the angry vampire and the stupid hippie stoner he's in love with#//ALSO the fonts are their handwriting :3#//and then also a font based on *my* handwriting
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//I FORGOT TO SHARE THIS ONE TOO. anyway @rejectshumanity <3
#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞「 ooc 」#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞「 shitposts 」#❝ come on snake‚ let's rattle ❞「 dio | rejectshumanity 」#suggestive cw#//i suppose?#//dio retweets this and it gets double the likes sal requested
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i wanna make a salvatore poll just for fun. salvatore the vampire go brrrr
#polls bullshit#multi makes text posts#if this leaves containment i will scream cry and throw up /hj#sally two shoes the vampire#ask to tag
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//yeah
#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞ 「 ooc 」#//this is how i entertain myself#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞ 「 shitposts 」
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@bxtsence said: 🐦 (Idk pick any one of my muses hahahaha)
(let sal talk shit to your muse on twitter - open)
//sal traumadumping on main vs nik being very genuine and offering optimistic advice (while also trolling him)
#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞ 「 ooc 」#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞ 「 shitposts 」#bxtsence#❝ i'll talk your ear off‚ kid ❞ 「 answered 」#//randomly rolled to see which muse i'd end up doing and dicebot said nik!#//making this made me realize how much i'd fucking hate following sal on twitter#//oh i'm sorry. i mean xitter.#//anyway yeah his account would be fucking insufferable lol. i love him tho#//almost ended this one with a screenshot of sal blocking him too#//but i don't wanna reuse that joke immediately lmao
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@bdybag said: 🐦 for triP :)))) // bdybag
(yes sal has a twitter. let's see what he posts - open)
//in which salvatore gets bullied on twitter
#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞ 「 ooc 」#bdybag#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞ 「 shitposts 」#❝ i'll talk your ear off‚ kid ❞ 「 answered 」#//apologies if this is ooc at all! but i think triP deserves to bully sal on twitter
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//after careful discussion with @yaksha-garden, i have created a very scientific relationships chart for the vampire fight club, feat. eden and several npcs i haven't introduced which exist just for this verse
#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞ 「 ooc 」#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞ 「 shitposts 」#❝ send in the big guns next time ! don't fuck around ❞ 「 vampire fight club verse 」#yaksha garden#//caulfield u gotta stop sticking your dick in everyone
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//laptop is shitting itself a bit :( oh boy!! i'll see if i can fix it in the am.
but in the meantime before i pass out. some dialogue with pre-vampirism sal and one of his buddies i wrote to entertain myself
"You kiss your mama with that mouth, Sal?"
"Nah, but I kiss yours just fine."
#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞ 「 ooc 」#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞ 「 shitposts 」#❝ you vindictive little muskrat looking fuck ! ❞ 「 before verse 」#suggestive cw
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@troublcmakcrs said: 🐦 //from the terrible children who are killing him :)
(let sal bullies people on twitter - open)
#❝ i'll talk your ear off‚ kid ❞ 「 answered 」#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞ 「 ooc 」#troublcmakcrs#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞ 「 shitposts 」#//LMAOOOO#//half the fun of these is deciding what people's muses' twitters would look like#//fyi the dates are randomly generated as are the like. replies v likes v retweets#//was gonna do one for tweek as well but i didn't have any specific ideas for him so! for now! craig
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//anyway. frames this message from chai
#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞ 「 ooc 」#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞ 「 shitposts 」#//chai if you want me to delete this just lmk and i will gladly do so#//but yeah. points emphatically. You Understand#//i legit love talking about sal's relationship to his masculinity#//and how he's kind of like. a representation of how toxic masculinity hurts everyone#//and how dismissing all men as toxic and violent is Not the fucking solution
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//men will literally slowly and homoerotically torture their enemies to death before going to therapy and then make that everyone else's problem
#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞ 「 ooc 」#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞ 「 shitposts 」#//salvatore is so well adjusted
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"Why the fuck do people say I have daddy issues...? I never knew the miserable old bastard. He never gave me issues."
#❝ take it from old sally two shoes‚ kid ❞ 「 in character 」#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞ 「 shitposts 」#//made a hc post on my tftgs blog and rushed over here to make this joke#//sal's like no omg ofc i don't have daddy issues. it's my mom i hate.
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@dollysdaggers said: 🐦 !!
(fake twitter threads time - open)
#dollysdaggers#❝ i'll talk your ear off‚ kid ❞ 「 answered 」#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞ 「 ooc 」#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞ 「 shitposts 」#//apologies for the delay on getting to this one!#//i had some trouble settling on an idea#//but i figured. someone should tease sal about his music taste. vittorio can have that#//also [points] sal typing like a boomer again <3#//(using quotes for emphasis)#//getting into swing music and jazz bc of sal. what happened to me. i used to be a pop punk boy#//<- not actually upset
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// @rejectshumanity hi my dear friend <3 i hope you appreciate this offering
#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞「 shitposts 」#❝ come on snake‚ let's rattle ❞「 dio | rejectshumanity 」#❝ we got ourselves a tough guy over here ! ❞「 billy 」#//sal only has social media to leave hate comments under billy's thirst traps (which billy favorites each time)#//and to be mean in dio's replies
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//me: yeah sal realistically never had any contact with any of the other beings in the zoo. he was intentionally isolated for almost ten years and never allowed *any* interaction.
also me: anyway he and the succubus were besties and shit-talked victor through the walls every weekend <3
#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞「 shitposts 」#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞「 ooc 」#//i forget her name but i think it'd be funny if they hung out
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//tag dump (this time with better formatting lol)
#❝ take it from old sally two-shoes‚ kid ❞ 「 in character 」#❝ there i was‚ a gangster-turned-vampire on the loose ❞ 「 headcanons 」#❝ two glasses and a bottle of johnny walker over here ! ❞ 「 memes 」#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy-boy ❞ 「 ooc 」#❝ that bloodsucking son of a bitch is completely full of shit ! ❞ 「 psa 」#❝ keep your voice down‚ dummy ; they're listening‚ remember ? ❞ 「 dash commentary 」#❝ i'll talk your ear off‚ kid ❞ 「 answered 」#❝ me‚ i don't show up very good in pictures ❞ 「 art 」#❝ bein' a vampire ain't no way to live‚ and being eaten by a vampire ain't no way to die ❞ 「 musings 」#❝ got some nice suits‚ new shoes‚ hat‚ the whole works ❞ 「 aesthetics 」#❝ be a pal and throw that chain away‚ wouldja ? i wanna chew your head off ❞ 「 shitposts 」#❝ get outta here with that blood of yours ❞ 「 promo 」#❝ beware the one who walks in the moonlight ❞ 「 self promo 」#❝ i can't stop myself and i don't want to‚ either ❞ 「 dash games 」#❝ it was gonna take some planning to get my fangs in his throat ❞ 「 victor bonicelli 」#❝ we got ourselves a tough guy over here ! ❞ 「 billy 」#❝ that's the trouble with vampires‚ you know ? ❞ 「 main verse 」#❝ i saw him for the treacherous snake he really was ❞ 「 secondary verse 」#❝ you don't wanna end up as a vampire‚ billy ❞ 「 tertiary verse 」#❝ you vindictive little muskrat-looking FUCK ! ❞ 「 before verse 」#❝ send in the big guns next time ! don't fuck around ❞ 「 vampire fight club verse 」#❝ i'll kill you when the time is right‚ but not now ❞ 「 roadtrip verse 」#❝ here comes the DEBT COLLECTOR ❞ 「 jojo verse 」
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