excerpt from the journal of soren chen ; 

contains mentions of sawyer pearson + ( briefly ) pj bolton 

i’m not sure if it’s too early to say this. i don’t think i’ve ever really felt this way before. i mean, i was under the impression that i was in love with beth, when i was fifteen. but fifteen is fifteen, and twenty-one is twenty-one. ( by the way, i’m still not sure how i feel about the fact my birthday will come around again in four months. time seems to have gone so fast and so slow all at the same time. i feel like i’m still a child, but i feel so much older than i am, really. )

a lot has happened to me between fifteen and twenty-one. i have spent so much time trying to be an independent adult, and the bolton’s have spent just as much time treating me like i’m a child who shouldn’t get a say in how i live my life. all of that has changed overnight. and it’s partly thanks to sawyer, actually. but i’m a different person now, to an extent. and so suddenly.

so. what i want to say is, i think i’m in LOVE. i need to write it out as a secret little confession just for my own eyes to see. i need to say it to myself so that i can think about it. the last thing i want to do is admit it out loud too soon, before either of us are ready for something like that. i don’t really know when the best time is, because i’ve never been with someone like her. beth was my best friend. i knew her like the back of my hand - it made decision making easy. there’s still so much i want to know about sawyer – things i can’t wait to know. but unfortunately, that also brings me a great deal of anxiety.

i’m lying on the floor of the living room, she made me some tea before she’s started to cook dinner and even though i offered to help, she insists that i get back to the drawing i was doing earlier. except now i have to write about it instead because i’m overwhelmed with what i’m feeling.

i came from a house where my belongings and my art were to stay in my room. it was a way for philip and caroline to say, “if you want to keep being who you’ve chosen to be, then you can do it out of sight, so that you’re out of our mind.” if i forgot things, if i got caught up in something and couldn’t stop, i’d be scolded. sometimes my things were thrown away. “you shouldn’t leave your garbage lying around.”

not long after i moved in, sawyer went out of her way to help me set up my things in the apartment. new art supplies and everything. i paint in the living area, sometimes while she’s curled up on the couch going over papers or watching tv, and even though i make a mess, sometimes i catch her watching me. she doesn’t scold me, she doesn’t tell me to be cleaner, or to stay out of her way. she looks at me with a softness that makes my heart melt. she lets me be a part of her life. sometimes that means dealing with me humming as i paint on the living room floor. sometimes that means wrapping me up in a blanket and holding me when i cry. she does these things out of the goodness of her heart, because she wants to. and i’m not a burden because of it.  

as i’m writing this my cheeks are pink, i can feel the heat in my face and i only hope she doesn’t come to check on me for a minute, because she’s going to know something is up, and i don’t want to have to explain myself just yet. but i hope that in a few months time i can look back on this and laugh at how silly i was for being anxious about these things. but who knows what the future has in store.

also i have yet to tell anybody. i haven’t talked to anyone about it… maybe it’s about time i talked to pj, though i guess i can’t really say he’s always given me the best advice. now that i think about it, it’s not particularly fair to keep things from him. despite the past, and though i’m not sure we’ll ever be as close as he wants us to be, he is changing for the better.

okay, i’ll talk to him.

but for now i’m going to go help sawyer with dinner. my mind isn’t on my drawing anymore.

hello lovelies! please consider this a starter call for elspeth/jasper. if you have a preference of muse, please drop it in the replies <3

carried on from here / @rufficns

arden shoves her hands into her pockets, feeling incredibly awkward, she wasn't one for small talk with strangers, she'd much rather stand there in silence and then get her coffee. she looks back at the other, "great, i'll get that black coffee then" arden replies, "i uh -- just have work" she shrugs her shoulders, "not that exciting really" if vale was looking for gossip, arden didn't have any.

IanFM: Out of Context pt. 2

A collection of references from threads. Pt. 1

Featuring (in order): Dustin Waerea ( @takemecn ), Patrick Webb ( @bitcme ), Arne Berman ( @highfears ), Viola Lancaster, ( @viola--lancaster ), Orwell Washington ( @horrorbxby ), Leaf Wozniak ( @urdamage )/ Kit Sombun ( @shrieks ), Romy Davis ( @fearsless ), Dolly Jensen ( @finaldarlings ), & PJ Bolton ( @rufficns ). 

Part 6 of 13 Days of Halloween Part 5

↳ ft. frannie + jasper ! @rufficns at next chapter bookstore

❝ hello, jasper ! ❞ frannie sings as she walks through the door of the bookstore, voice as bright as the chime overhead. dark irises scan the shelves of the shop in search of him before crinkling at the corners with a grin when she finds him behind the counter. ❝ i brought you something ! ❞ she says as she walks up, holding out a jar adorned with a black ribbon. ❝ it's a candle, obviously. and it's, um ― i know it has a bow, but it's not like, a present for any sort of occasion or anything, you know ? actually, it sort of is. and the occasion is every time i walk in here, because it smells like musty books. you know i appreciate the aesthetic of an old book as much as the next cottagecore goth, but like... it stinks. and that ? it smells exactly like one of your sister's cupcakes. do you like it ? ❞

✯ location : heart and soul gallery ✯ status : closed for @rufficns ( utp ! )

‘ PRETTY SURE IT’S COMPLETELY BUSTED ‘ micah descends the stairs with a rag in hand so that he could wipe off his hands and shakes his head , ‘ i’ll have to cut the power though to make sure — ‘ after all , he didn’t want to electrocute himself , ‘ but if you want … once i can confirm that for you , i have someone who’s an electrician , and makes a pretty great deal – also damn good at his job . can you show me where the breaker box is ? ‘

*˖ ⊹ guillermo ft pj ⋅

status: closed for @rufficns location: shrike heights radio

   An hour after closing, and Guillermo is still here. His only companions are his trusty old dufflebag and the soft patter of raindrops on the windows. He had an elderly class that day, that meant very s l o w, very deliberate movements in the water for two hours. Usually after classes such as the one he had, he would be in a contemplative mood. His thoughts would wander towards his father, which is never pleasant. His tito is with him, though Guillermo is always on edge whenever he has to be away all day. He fortunately got over the phase where every phone call is met with a nervous scowl, but he is still quick to hasten his steps as he leaves the pool and heads to the parking lot.

   The Aquatic Centre is tucked away beneath the ground floor along with a few other establishment not usually meant for the mall's public eye. This means that it's usually quiet and not blasting music, like it is now. Guillermo nearly jumps at the sound coming from under the unassuming door of Shrike Heights Radio. An odd hour for a broadcast. This isn't any band he recognizes and he's pretty certain it is currently not broadcasting from the mall speakers. Which makes him all the more curious. His steps slow, then comes to a stop. He listens for a beat. The drums thump in his chest, feet moving in time with the shredding guitar.

   Someone is playing live music inside the radio station ? He's gotta see this. Flinging his duffelbag on his left shoulder, he takes swift steps towars the door as the music grows louder and louder. He tries banging on the door, which doesn't work for obvious reasons. One shove at the door handle and voilà, he's in. But this isn't live music. There is only one person in the room, fiddling with the buttons on the DJ set and bobbing his head. Is that a w i g ? Guillermo must have seen this guy around if he works at the radio, in fact he's pretty sure his name is at the tip of his tongue right now but by the looks of it, they are both here at an hour when they shouldn't be. Great... now he paused the music. PJ ! That's his name. "Uh..." Guillermo says, flinging his duffelbag from one shoulder to another. "Door was open."

Not every day did Danny witness a lesser demon out in the middle of the pavement nearly getting kicked around like some empty crumpled up bodega sandwich wrapper on a windy day. Neither was he witness to someone falling for its pathetic-wounded-bunny-thrown-out-on-the-streets act, but there he was, gym bag swung over his shoulder after a much needed training session at the Institute, watching the skinny kid walking into the darkened alleyway. "Yo! Don't go in there, it's a trap!" People not listening to the random dude yelling on the streets of New York City? Happened more often than you'd think. Danny looked around, hoping to see if anyone saw the same thing go down. Then he realized how even though he hadn't done it in a while, he was supposed to be the one capable of getting them out of a sticky situation. Thank the Angel he had his blades on him. The cigarette butt was thrown in the gutter before he turned on his heels and hurried after the demons' prey, undoing the holsters of his blades by his hips. "Aight gang, why don't y'all pick a fight with someone your own size, huh?" Bold words from a guy shorter than @rufficns.

 ↳       outside the three lives bookstore | koda & jasper | @rufficns

nightfall shortly became koda's sanctuary, the only safe time he could step outside the safety of his new york apartment where he was shielded from the dangers of sunlight by blackout curtains and artificial lighting. when the sun set, he could feel normal again, stand in the busy crowds of times square, or go to a bar and immerse himself in the constant noise of his past. he could feel normal until he caught the sight of an innocent's pulsing jugular vein as they sipped a drink or danced around, and his vision would darken until he'd escape into the silence of the night once again. tonight wasn't like that, he couldn't silence his innate hunger anymore. he hadn't fed since the night he was turned, and koda was feeling the side effects of that. sweaty palms, sunken eyes, withdrawing from the one thing that kept him functioning as much as he could. he wandered through the streets, eyeing up each passerby for the ideal candidate, a tasty evening snack for the fledgeling. his eyes caught sight of someone, a perfect fit; a small stranger was locking the doors at the bookstore, isolated and quiet as a mouse. the vampire kept his distance, hidden in the shadows against a nearby wall, watching from afar as his eyes followed the way the man went, slinking after him.

@rufficns ( ft. elspeth )

Matevos held the door wide open for Elspeth as he gestured for them to head inside of the small cafe, it was nice to be out of the rain and the cold, but in comparison to the loud sounds of the city, the place wasn't much different. Sounds of conversations, clinking cups, and the coffee machine rose up to meet them. So his eyes tried to find a spot furthest away from the loudness. He made a face. "I'll get us coffee, you claim a spot?" he asked. "Regular coffee, cappuccino, espresso, late, what do you want?" he asked, just rattling off a few off the top of his head, though ready to remember whichever she wanted the most. He brushed wet hair out of his face as he looked at the menu. "They have apple pie, do you want apple pie?"

hello lovelies ! so, annoyingly, my laptop has gone in for a battery replacement, so i may be less active than usual. i miss you all and i'm over on discord at maneswrites if you'd like to plot in the meantime to keep me sane.

closed starter / location: the street outside of lou’s house (@rufficns​, utp!)

"sorry about this" louise calls out to the other, as she picks up kids toys off the pavement, the joys of being a childminder. “i do tell the kids that they need to pick up after themselves” she carries on, standing up now, “but it just goes in one ear and out the other sometimes”. 

STARTER for @rufficns

Striker Cannon.

"is it even a point to you turning older if you're not letting us bathe in the good liquid?" Henric's voice is teasing, yet he knows fully well that it must annoy Striker. "No drinks, no cake, and the turnup? Sad as fuck."

& 𝒓𝒆.  a closed starter \ ft. auraline & calahan , the queen's study .

𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑒𝑛'𝑠 𝑠𝑎𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒𝑠 . a place of quiet serenity ; a glass house , overgrown with plants that suffocate the walls and floor . a multitude of birds trill , sweetly high , the chorus as playful as the birds themselves where they've made a home here . their beautiful chorus distracts and calms auraline — fuego flies amoung them for a time before perching on her shoulder and affectionately pecking at her cheek . this is the one place she is never disturbed , one of the only gifts from her mother that she enjoys today . during the time of her captivity , this is where she would go on her bad days ( to forget , to escape ) and now it serves as a place just for her — to seek calm , to get work done . it's why she is surprised when distant voices bring her out of the book in hand , head rising and turning towards them to see none of than her brother - in - law seeking entrance by the guards at the entrance . ❛ calahan , i . . . ❜ her voice trails , her hand waving permission for her guard to allow him through . even as she does , her accompanied hellhounds react : leora who lies at her feet simply raises her head towards @rufficns , aurelius rises to his feet , a low warning growl vibrating in his throat . the seelie runs her fingers through his fur , book now placed in her lap . ❛ . . . did we have an appointment ? ❜ one she may have overlooked , not something that happens often , but with where her head has been lately . . . it's possible .

for: @rufficns​ ( utp! ) location: parking at the back of ricci’s

"Fuck.” It was typical. Marco had chosen to leave early for once, even if he did need to zip across town, and suddenly his car refused to start. This was usually why he left it at home, why he chose instead to get an Uber or call a driver, but no, for once he’d made an effort... a wasted effort right now. With a sigh, he hopped out of the car again, spotting someone close by. “You know anything about cars? Because mechanic I am not and this thing won’t start...”

@rufficns

LOCATION: Prohibition Lounge

"𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐈 could sing like that.. unfortunately, I believe I'd cause some eardrums to start bleeding."