#─ 𝐴𝐵 𝐼𝑀𝑂 𝑃𝐸𝐶𝑇𝑂𝑅𝐸 𓍢 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 / ZHIYU. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

solavirtus · 2 months

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𝑳𝑼𝑪𝑬 𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑻𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑺...

( song jiyang , agender , they/him ) — the halls of verum academy is home to LI ZHIYU, the twenty-four year old student of transmutation. listen to the whispers that follow them through the door of the history of khemia classroom, the ones about growing up in a warm house, firewood crackling lulls you to sleep, running around and looking up to your siblings at every step, the smell of metal on your fingertips, sparks of khemia you cannot bring yourself to believe, the inherent guilt at what you can do, and who you can possibly be, when you don't think you deserve it. once they graduate, their legacy will be one that is gracious and diligent in nature, but the records will not mention that they are known to be quiet and self-critical, too. they are, after all, the future of verum. ╱ kira, 25, she/her, gmt+3.

BIOGRAPHY

you are born as the last li child. fond eyes look down at you, always a hand in yours to guide your way through life. at your first steps, claps echo around you, followed by joyful laughter.

there are hands on top of yours as you bury your first seeds into the soft soil. helping you dig, then close up the earth. when you raise the watering can, there is another pair helping you lift it up. you water it with precise care, close your eyes, and name your first tree.

you warm your hands against the fireplace, lean into a warm embrace. a bowl of warm food in front of you, gentle fingers running through your long hair.

life is good in the way that it's linear. the same. it went similarly for your grandparents. your parents. day after day. as a part of the traditional cynefian family, you learn about the earth. you are protective of your land just as you are of your family. grow to appreciate how to nurture it, how to care for it. knowing it will care for you right back.

you do not expect to feel the sparks on the tips of your fingertips. for your apprenticeship to yield this result. it changes every single thing at once. shatters the ground you walk on.

for the first time in your life, you feel alone.

—

li zhiyu is the youngest of the li children, and with it comes fewer responsibilities on his shoulders. parents more lenient. more freedom to wander off if he wishes, to go to the outskirts of the town, to watch how the earth and water respond to his touch, how they transform with the changing of seasons. attuned to the elements under his fingertips; the metal, the ores, the particles of sand.

he is a quiet child for he does not need to cry loud for attention. there is still a silent desperation that linger beneath every action, driven to never upset those he loves. to be good. to not lose those warm hands running through his hair, patting his back, holding his hand.

sheltered in more ways than others, he expects his future to lie through the earth. a farmer, a gardener, a regular way of life, nothing to stray from that linear, anticipated path.

after his secondary education, when he goes through his apprenticeship, he expects the answer to follow that expectation. that he does not have the affinity: he can go back to his home, back to what he is supposed to do, who he is supposed to become.

to learn that he does have the affinity is terrifying. the implications of him being part of a family with no trace of khemia before him. mind clouded with all sorts of emotions: the fear of the unknown, hand in hand with the thrill of so many possibilities unlocked before him. revelation chased by the sudden spike of expectations from his parents now that their little child is attuned to khemia.

it changes everything. how people act around him. how they look at him. their neighbors, their friends. especially the people who have always been wary of verum, of khemia. it becomes too much at once. his heart aches with the consequences of his path diverging in a way he was not prepared for.

beyond it all, he knows how much this would mean to his siblings, how unfair it is that he is the only one. the inherent guilt that comes whenever he looks at them claws all the way up to his throat, thorns of reality digging into the soft skin.

throughout the apprenticeship, he prays for his path to not lie with transmutation. 'dear stars, i beg of you, anything but that.' convinces himself with everything he has that it won't be. it is impossible to pray the fates away.

the first year, there are mostly mandatory classes, as well as some electives. he doesn't have to choose his major just yet. the second year, he chooses anima. from the moment he was a child, he has always been fascinated by the surrounding earth. it should be alright. it has to be.

it isn't. it's a failure over and over again. so much that it becomes all too clear to every anima professor that this isn't his calling.

in the end, as much as it pains him, he changes his major to transmutation, starting his second year all over. this becomes a secret, an unspoken truth. if asked, especially by his family, he says he is still deciding, learning how the khemia world works. how can he be expected to know the ropes already when it's all so foreign to him?

loneliness digs its claws into his chest. nothing is the same anymore. it never will be.

coldness seeps into his skin, into his bones. there is a sharp guilt and discomfort whenever he lies in his childhood bed, in a house with one less person. after that, it isn't difficult to decide it will be better for them all for him to move to the school dorms. veiled under the excuse of how he can learn better with this change, he moves away from home.

it feels like something is ripped from his chest. leaving behind a hole that will never be filled, a part always missing.

zhiyu does not know if verum will ever be his home, if he will ever belong in a world so terrifying, so foreign.

#verum:intro #─ 𝐴𝐵 𝐼𝑀𝑂 𝑃𝐸𝐶𝑇𝑂𝑅𝐸 𓍢 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 / ZHIYU.

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