#“Kiki focus on your fucking studies” challenge
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Shit, the temptation of doing whumpuary and throwing in some rarepairs for good measure is strong.
Hmmmm...
Maybe I shou- *gets sniped*
#“Kiki focus on your fucking studies” challenge#easier said than done#listen: I genuinely love what I study#I just hate the education system as a whole#it's unfair#often makes no sense#not to mention the amount of time wasted on classes that give me nothing#like english or *gags* philosophy of culture#the latter wouldn't be so bad if I actually had a better teacher#(and if the classes weren't at 8 fucking AM)#(I have to get up before 5 to be on time. BEFORE FIVE)#(AND THE TEACHER DOESN'T ACCEPT ABSENCES)#(LIKE AT ALL)#(you're sick? doesn't matter you're still fucked)#(I'm 99.9% sure it's against some rules but well)#(it's not like anyone at the uni gives a shit)#Hakanate once said
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Five People's Thoughts on Adore and Bianca: Laganja Estranja (2/5) (Biadore-ish) - doctor bitchcraftt
Yes gawd mawma, it’s finally time to hear from Laganja, okurrrr?
1. Courtney Act
2. Laganja Estranja
3 & 4. Raja & Raven
5. Trixie Mattel
A/N: Laganja isn’t a character I’ve written before, and I wanted to avoid reducing her to a caricature of her own behavior by exploring the deep insecurities exposed by her Untucked outbursts and her version of calculated competition. She’s the quintessential unreliable narrator, and I hope that comes through properly.
Xoxoxoxo, bitchcraftt
********
Laganja had been pleased to find Adore in her group for Drag Race, both as a friendly face and a known quantity: good, but not going to outshine her in the end (she didn’t even cinch). They’d gotten on well before the show, and she couldn’t wait to kiki with her on camera. More importantly, she wanted to find a moment to ask if she’d managed to stash anything for later since her nerves had been buzzing for hours already.
Striding into the workroom, she landed a perfect death drop that hopefully would capture the fans’ attention once the episode aired.
Sizing up the rest of the competition proved more challenging. She almost immediately dismissed Vivacious (what the fuck was that on her head anyway?) and cautiously considered the likelihood that BenDeLaCreme would turn out to be playing the long game behind her sweet persona. Laganja weighed the potential benefit of establishing Gia as an ally, felt a twinge of envy for April’s showy costume and Latin charm, and came up suspiciously neutral in her impression of Kelly Mantle.
After the photo shoot and gleefully celebrating her first win, she sat back and waited for the other queens to arrive, ignoring how much she really wanted to light up to calm her nerves.
Kelly hadn’t lasted long anyway. One queen down, and six new bitches to add to the mix.
********
The first thing she noticed when the second group walked in was how much older Darienne and Courtney looked in person (although she had to begrudgingly admit that Courtney’s fishyness was impressive). Courtney was pretty, but her makeup wasn’t drag-worthy. As for Darienne, well, a queen who couldn’t wear high heels wasn’t a queen at all in her book.
Joslyn seemed genuinely nice, although probably not savvy enough to last long. On the other hand, she would definitely make Laganja seem even more polished by comparison, so maybe she would be worth keeping around for a couple of weeks.
Trinity had faded into the background, and Laganja figured she would stay there. Part of her empathized with the air of someone struggling with their own inner issues, but she couldn’t afford to play nice. Trinity didn’t seem likely to pose a threat, and it was probably safe to leave her to her own devices.
Most of all though, the last two who came through the doors set off alarm bells in her head.
Milk looked like a demented marionnette wrapped in organza, but the sheer outlandish energy coming off her might be a problem as the challenges progressed. She also wondered if Milk had any dance background, watching her assured movement in and out of drag. So far no one else seemed to be able to match her for flexibility and ability to tear up the floor, but she planned to keep an eye on the bearded wonder.
Last across the threshold and sporting neon eyeshadow that badly needed blending, Laganja recognized Bianca Del Rio. The queen had to be pushing forty (Alyssa had mentioned her a few times, calling her ‘established in the business’), but her padding and wig line were flawless. Beyond the packaging though, she recognized the sharp eyes of a fellow competitor. Combined with her sharp tongue, Laganja might actually have some serious competition.
********
Scream Queens
After the first acting challenge, when Laganja found herself laughing along with Bianca’s cutting retort to Adore, she wondered if the other queen might actually not be as much of a problem as she’d anticipated. If she was going to devote energy to taking down all of the girls verbally, then it was less to focus on everything else. Adore rarely played well with other queens in her experience, so why should Drag Race be any different? It meant that Laganja ought to have her undivided support, at least until she was sent home.
Bianca didn’t appear concerned with playing to the camera outside of the challenge, nor did she make an effort to capture airtime in the workroom. Moreover, she didn’t make any attempt to showcase her slender legs (nice, but not as nice as Laganja’s) to take attention away from her overdrawn face, which could only be a serious tactical error. And while the old Hollywood glamour admittedly flattered her petite figure, it wasn’t edgy or exciting for someone who claimed to be a costume designer.
The oversized rhinestoned collar was actually impressive. Not as imaginative as her butterfly fascinator, but definitely interesting.
Laganja had studied the looks on Bianca’s garment rack, and while a part of her coveted the craftsmanship (apparently Bianca made everything herself), her overriding impression was that the queen was stuck too far in the past. People like Laganja, and Adore, were the new face of drag, outside of smoky clubs and bars.
Also, the obsessive neatness and organized rows of identically styled wigs made her supremely uncomfortable.
********
Shade: The Rusical
In the Gold Bar, she struggled to contain her tears when a message from her parents played. Everything was finally coming together, and she could picture the crown on display in Alyssa’s dance studio for everyone to know that Laganja Estranja of the Haus of Edwards was a true winner.
Sniffling, she turned her attention back to the other girls, waiting for their separate conversation to end so they could finish validating her experience. It started out well, and even Bianca was complimentary towards her parents. Who would have thought she had it in her? (She was half convinced that Bianca spent every night off set thinking up ways to insult everyone else.)
And then, right as Laganja felt safe in relaxing just a little, Bianca cut across her moment with a joke. It wasn’t the joke itself - she couldn’t care less what the bitter bitch thought of her - but then all of the other girls laughed and started another conversation without her. Worse, they seemed to be laughing at her, which wasn’t fair at all. The prickling sense of doubt came roaring back full force, and she couldn’t afford to let anyone see it, especially not here.
How could they be so insensitive?
…how dare they?
“This was my moment!” she sobbed, not even hearing what was said after and barely conscious of the words coming out of her mouth.
This couldn’t be happening.
****
Later, when she was calm again and Adore was disappointed in not winning the main challenge, Laganja found herself torn between annoyance on her behalf (Courtney Act was so *pitchy*) and being secretly relieved that one more episode was complete without the judges being drawn under Adore’s charming spell.
The thing about Adore, was that her powerful voice wasn’t going to make up for her thrift store drag budget. Her punk rock rebel schtick was only going to go so far, especially in comparison to queens with professionally made looks. Laganja hated to think it, but Bianca Del Rio’s unclockable hairline next to Adore’s messy shake-and-go Party City closeouts was a point in her favor.
More importantly, she was relieved to unload her frustration at being dismissed on a friendly ear. Adore might be a little slow, but she definitely stuck up for her friends. Bianca wouldn’t catch her off-guard again, and not with Adore now aware of her awful behavior.
********
Snatch Game
Laganja woke up feeling peaky and drained. She panicked for a moment, thinking about the cameras catching her looking tired. The only solution, as Alyssa had taught her, was to put on her biggest wig and blow the other bitches out of the water. Digging in her suitcase, she located her pièce de résistance: a high braided turban that was sure to deflect from anyone noticing the bags under her eyes.
Her tactic seemed to be working, because the other queens were staring with impressed expressions as she showed off her flexibility for the camera.
Crisis averted.
Unsurprisingly, Bianca was the first one in full face and wig while the other queens were still baking and contouring. She moved around the workroom purposefully, offering to help DeLa with her old lady face and brushing out Trinity’s wig. When her black-clad form (why did Bianca suddenly look so tiny?) appeared behind Laganja in the mirror, she steeled herself for more negativity.
“Want me to help?”
Laganja blinked, certain that she’d heard wrong, and tried to continue.
Bianca watched her fumble with her highlight for a few seconds before holding out her hand.
“Give it to me, queen.”
Laganja froze, brush in midair and compact clenched in her other hand.
Rolling her eyes, Bianca made a ‘come here’ gesture before plucking both items out of her hands and tugging her shoulder until she turned around. Gripping her chin gently, Bianca started moving with quick, precise strokes.
“It’s easier if you start near your hairline, and…" The rest of what she said was lost as Laganja’s mind spun into overdrive. There didn’t seem to be any ulterior motive, yet here she was helping her competition.
She zoned back in as Bianca set down the brush and highlighter, and nodded briskly.
"Let me know if you want me to show you how to do it next time.”
As she walked away, Laganja could almost understand why Trinity and Adore seemed to love Bianca and talked about her being great. Sometimes when the cameras weren’t rolling, she even felt a sense of camaraderie. It never lasted long enough to convince her that it was real, because the moment filming started and her anxiety rocketed upwards, everything that came out of her mouth seemed to annoy the older queen.
****
She left the Snatch Game set nearly in tears. Rachel Zoe was an easy part of her repertoire for her friends, but everything had felt so off today.
It took a trip to the bathroom and a five-minute private mirror pep talk before Laganja felt ready to take on the Night of 1,000 RuPauls. What she really needed was to get away from everyone and smoke, but that hadn’t been an option for weeks.
Staring into her own eyes, she tongue popped for luck and resolved to slay it on the runway.
Bianca gave her a curious look when she breezed back into the workroom.
”Everything all right, queen?”
Laganja steadfastly ignored the attention.
Halfway through gluing her lace down, she realized that Adore was no longer perched on the chair beside her. Looking around the room, her heart dropped when she located her friend.
Instead of lingering at her station like usual to keep Laganja company and her mind off her nerves, Adore was off in the corner. Off in the corner with Bianca, who had paused in the middle of piling hair on her head to lace her into a cincher. Bianca’s cincher.
Bafflingly, she was actually being nice to Adore and not sabotaging her, because as far as Laganja could tell, there wasn’t anything wrong with the garment and she had seemed genuinely concerned that Adore was comfortable and happy with the final product.
She didn’t understand Bianca at all.
****
The fragile sense of calm that she’d achieved on the main stage crumbled the moment Adore pointed at her and Gia as being in the bottom.
Hearing Adore laugh at DeLa’s naive question about Rachel Zoe hit like a bad death drop and for a moment Laganja couldn’t breathe.
She scrabbled for something to defend herself with. Bianca was an automatic target - after playing nice with her makeup, she had turned right around and messed with her in the Snatch Game. Laganja wasn’t buying her “I hate everyone equally” excuse this time, not when she was obviously trying to come for her.
Looking across the lounge, she was overwhelmed by the sense of betrayal as Adore claimed that Bianca wasn’t singling her out for attack.
It felt like the floor was slowly collapsing under her feet. Not only had her friendship with Adore been far less of a stabilizing force than she’d expected, but Adore had actually joined forces with Bianca against her.
It wasn’t the only thing, but that was the last heave it took to upend the cart of her control.
“Did you or did you not come for me today?” she snapped, hoping that someone else (Gia? Joslyn?) would stand up for her.
“…hold up girl, I’m not trying to create a moment -“
Her heart pounded in her ears, and she badly wanted to grab the stupid pillow off of Bianca’s lap and throw it at Adore’s bitchface.
“I’m not saying you came for me but I do feel a little shafted by you today.”
The words were spilling out and Laganja gave up trying to hold in all of her frustration and hurt.
”I don’t remember the exact comment you said, but earlier I do feel like you were saying -“
Her breathing was too shallow, but all she could see was Adore’s newly cinched waist.
“I don’t even know, but I felt a little hurt by you earlier,” she finished lamely, unable to articulate the pain and panic welling up in her chest.
She no longer recognized her rebellious good time party girl, always a few steps behind. Adore wasn’t even trying to support her, just offering empty words as she she spent her time cozying up to Bianca. While the person on the other side of the table looked like Adore and spoke in Adore’s voice, she might as well have been a stranger.
Laganja shied away from Bianca’s touch on the way back into the hall. Not five minutes after coming for her, Bianca had to be mocking her with her ‘advice’.
She couldn’t trust anyone here, not anymore.
Why didn’t anyone else see what was going on?
********
Oh No She Better Don’t
“Miss Laganja Estranja. Next time you death drop, reverse that and drop dead.”
Adore’s read felt like a stab in the back and Laganja didn’t even bother to try to smile. Everyone was laughing at her, Bianca’s cackle rising above the others.
********
Glamazon by Colorevolution
Surveying the others, Laganja was certain that her black and white runway look would win the judges over - no one else had anything as edgy. Even Adore was wearing a Forever 21 sweater and a miniskirt, but she could forgive her friend the look because their commercial had gone amazingly well.
Joslyn looked like an extra from a porn about magicians, and Courtney…well, that weird sparkly tuxedo thing was a look. Courtney was blathering on about someone called Clause No Me (whoever that was), but it wouldn’t matter if she was wearing Dior, because her boy legs were on full display. Not to mention, the giant pile of hair that DeLa was pinning up made her think of a butt plug. Laganja was surprised that Darienne hadn’t made any catty comments about it given the palpable tension between them. She started to move closer, but was distracted by the activity in Bianca’s alcove.
Still in pantyhose and corset with her skunk-striped hair, Bianca was helping Trinity zip herself in. The domino dress was well-made, although she ought to be carrying drinks in Monte Carlo in it. Laganja admitted she might even ask Trinity where it came from.
As for Miss Perfect herself, Laganja once again grudgingly had to give her credit for the ensemble as Bianca started to get dressed. The enormous ball gown skirt seemed to materialize from nowhere in a cloud of tulle. How the hell had she fit that in her duffels? It wasn’t even creased, and it must have contained miles of crinoline. Laganja had barely been able to close her five suitcases, but Bianca’s luggage all seemed to be under the maximum amount. Not to mention, she’d only unpacked a bag and a half of wigs.
She started to pace anxiously, balance thrown off after the high of performing. Her feet carried her to Adore’s table, hoping to mend their friendship, but once again Adore was busy talking to Bianca.
********
It wasn’t fair. She had to keep her chin up, because the road to success was never easy, but it also shouldn’t have been this hard.
She’d promised her parents and Alyssa that she’d bring home the crown. Her parents seemed to finally be at peace with her drag, and it would be everything she’d ever wanted to validate following her dreams.
Laganja just had to hold on a little longer, prove to Ru that she deserved to be America’s next drag superstar.
********
Queens of Comedy
The comedy challenge was a disaster.
After seeing Adore perform with shaky insecurity, Laganja’s confidence had risen. All of the other girls were trying for a ten, but she was going to dial her personality up to one hundred.
Except instead of howling with laughter, the old people in the audience stared at her as if she was speaking a foreign language. She dug deep for the best jokes that never failed to entertain her usual crowd, but nothing worked.
Barely keeping her angry tears in check, she slumped back into her seat and watched the rest with a stony stare.
Witnessing Bianca Del Rio effortlessly work the audience was awful. Every laugh she drew from them hit her like a punch to the stomach, reminding her of how inadequate her jokes had been.
Worse, seeing Adore’s rapt attention made her physically ill. Bianca was now the recipient of the same wondering smile that Adore used to give her when she performed.
Nothing made sense.
Without heels, Laganja towered over Bianca; she couldn’t understand how the queen could still make her feel insignificant without even saying a word.
She was sick to death of Bianca’s clever insults and her perfect white teeth. She hated her stupid dimples and how her voice grew soft when she spoke to Adore.
Adore was her friend, or at least she used to be. If Bianca had to pick someone to be nice to, why did it have to be Adore?
This was supposed to be her moment.
#rpdr fanfiction#bianca del rio#adore delano#laganja estranja#biadore#canon compliant#five thoughts#doctor bitchcraftt
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