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blackbirdangel · 5 years

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Welcome to the family (Daryl Dixon x Reader)

Summary: Family reunions are not always filled with love and happiness in the end of the world.What would happen if you were there the night of Negan's first appereance? Would you be able to change anything at all? What kind of relationship could you possibly have with such a murderous monster?

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Reader, Negan/reader

Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Non-Graphic Violence, Small canon divergence, POV Third Person Omniscient

A shiver ran through her back, every hair on her body raising as she took a deep breath and tried to block everything happening around her. We can’t catch a fucking break, can we? She thought as she opened her eyes again and looked at the ground where she was kneeling. It seemed as if every time things were going well enough, something major had to happen and everything went to hell once again. Well, the apocalypse has a way of fucking everything up.

“Alright, we got a full boat, let’s meet the man” the man –Simon, she remembered-, said as he walked back towards the caravan and knocked on the door. She could hear Maggie’s soft whimpers next to her and she ached to extend a hand to offer some sort of comfort to her friend. She knew she couldn’t, however, any move in the wrong direction and one of the men on her back would put a bullet right though her brain, they had been warned. She clenched her fists, digging her nails on her palms and swallowing around the knot that had started to form in her throat. She looked up and her eyes connected with Daryl’s, he was getting paler and paler by the second as he held onto his side.

He nodded, almost imperceptibly to anyone else but her. I’ll be ok. She knew that’s what he was trying to say, they had a weird way of communicating without words, she nodded back and lifted the corners of her lips in an attempt of a smile. I love you, she wanted to say the words now. She had missed her chance when he had left to track Dwight and now she knew he had failed and this may very well be the last time she saw him. She looked down again and closed her eyes as she once again dug her nails into the palms of her hands, willing herself not to cry. She was scared and she was trembling in a mixture of hopelessness, fear and cold, but she wasn’t going to let this people see her cry, she had never liked anyone seeing her cry or look weak.

The door to the caravan opened and she heard someone step out of it. “Pissin’ our pants yet?” A man said and she opened her eyes in shock. It can’t be him, can it? “Boy, do I have a feeling we’re getting close” The tears left her eyes then and she couldn’t help it. She thought she’d never hear that voice again and she had made her peace with it. She looked up then and felt her blood turn cold as the tears continued to fall down her face and blurred her sight. She swallowed once again as she took in the man standing in front of her group, the sadistic smile, his cold eyes and greying beard. He had changed so much in the years she hadn’t seen him that he was almost unrecognizable.

He was looking down at the group of people kneeling down in front of him, holding a bat on his shoulder, she could see barbed wire wrapped around the end of it. He hadn’t looked at her yet though. She crawled forward a little bit and could feel all of her friends -her family- tense, Rick was holding a hand in front of her to stop her from moving forward but she didn’t stop.

He looked around at her, the evil grin falling from his face as he took her in. She had changed a lot too in those years, she knew that. Sometimes as she looked at herself in the mirror of her bathroom she couldn’t recognize the woman standing in front of her. She had been young when the outbreak started, about to graduate from college when the first news of dead people rising had started to bring up the worse in people as paranoia started rising.

She hadn’t seen her father in 7 years, the last time being when they buried her mother. She was grateful now that her mother had died before all of this. A woman like Lucille wouldn’t have survived long in a world like this, she was too good for it, too soft and sweet. After her mother was laid to rest it was too painful to go back home, and so she called her father a few times a week, not able to bring herself to go see him. He hadn’t been the same since his wife’s death, it was painful enough to watch her mother inevitably decay to death on a hospital bed to now have to watch her father -the man who she had thought was the strongest man in the world- let himself die because he couldn’t live with the pain of losing the love of his life.

She had tried to go back home, to find him as soon as the outbreak hit her college town but it was too late then. Almost every road had been blocked by the military, who were redirecting people to the “Safe zones” and every airport had been closed until further notice. Phones had stopped working long before that and so she had packed everything she considered essential on a duffel bag, grabbed the gun her father had given her when she first left home for college and drove out of that town on her car, hell bent on finding a way to go back home somehow.

Eventually, her car had broken down on the side of the road in the middle of the Georgia heat and she had resorted to walking through the woods on the direction she thought would lead her back home. That’s how she had found Rick and Daryl for the first time, they were tracking the woods looking for a little girl named Sophia who had gotten lost around there. (Y/N)’s heart broke at that, realizing there was no way in hell an innocent little girl could’ve survived out there in the woods by herself, even less so if she was being chased down by the undead. She had offered to help them on their search, even if the search was now for a corpse to bury, and in exchange they had taken her back to the farm. From there, she had been a part of their group, they soon became her family.

Her romance with Daryl had been a slow burning one. It started with them going out together to look for Sophia, him teaching her how to see tracks on the woods where all she could see was leafs scattered around the ground. He was a man of few words who had a past full of abuse, the signs were all there for anyone with the right eyes to look. Oddly enough, he had opened up to her on their time together, but he never really told her everything, just little bits and pieces that she started to string together. She was fascinated by him, he was strong and smart, and very resourceful, and he was obviously an important, vital part of the group. He just couldn’t see it, but she did, and she made it her personal task to make him see himself the way she saw him. She had fallen in love with him before she even noticed.

Daryl had fallen in love with her almost as quickly. She had a spark, a strength he had never seen on any woman before. She believed in him like no one else had before, it was as if she hadn’t even doubted his goodness even for a second. It unnerved him in a way, considering no one had ever believed in him, always thinking the worse about him and he was ok with it. He had grown up being treated like scum and he’d probably die like that too. Everything changed when she came around and stubbornly tried to make him change his mind. It wasn’t easy though, you can’t just erase years of self-hate and abuse. But she made him see life a little bit differently, like he wasn’t so useless after all.

The road hadn’t been easy, they had lost a lot of people and almost lost themselves too on the process. But they had thrived and risen up again more than once. Whatever would happen with the Saviors now, she was sure they’d fight back and thrive once again. At least that’s what she thought before they had been ambushed that night and brought to the clearing. Before she was once again looking into the eyes of her father, who now apparently was the leader of these people, these murderers.

“D-dad?” she could barely hear herself, her voice was croaky and her lips trembled as tears continued to stream down her face. She could feel the eyes of everyone around her turn to her in shock and disbelief.

He let the bat down then and walked closer to her, “(Y/N)?” he asked, his tone gentle now, in contrast to the satirical way in which he had addressed the group before. Someone cleared their throat behind him and as if a mask had been dropped on his face, his features hardened as he looked at the rest of the group, “listen, sweetheart, I never thought I’d see you again, and you have no fucking idea how ecstatic I am to see you right now, even though you’re kneeling down in front of me next to these pain in the ass motherfuckers that I have to deal with”, he walked back and that sadistic smile was back on his face, he looked at her once again and she thought she saw regret cross his eyes before it was masked again behind that grin. She was dragged back to her place between Rick and Maggie. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him and she felt dread fall down on her like a ton of bricks. “We’ll catch up soon, baby, but for now, daddy’s got some work to do”

He walked to the front once again, so he could take in all of their faces. “So, which one of you pricks is the leader?” this man–she refused to think of this man as her father- asked, slowly looking in all their faces for the answer.

“It’s this one” said Simon from behind the group and she felt bile rise up from her stomach as she saw him pointing at Rick from the corner of her eyes, “he’s the guy”.

Negan turned back to look at Rick and avoided looking at her as he sighed, his tongue poking out of his teeth as if he was considering something. He slowly took a few steps closer; “Hi” he said, “you’re Rick right? I’m Negan, and I do not appreciate you killing my men. Also, when I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people? You killed more of my people, not cool, not cool” he looked back at her for a second and then back at Rick, “you have no idea how not cool that shit is, but I think you’re gonna be up to speed shortly”. She looked at Rick, the tears and confusion had left and now she could only feel dread and anger. Rick, the man she had considered almost a father after all this time, looked up at Negan and she could recognize that look in his eyes. He was scared, really scared, but he had that look on his face that said he’d fight if he had the chance. That seemed to piss Negan off even more.

Negan continued talking once again, telling all of them that they’d regret crossing him, that shit eating grin plastered on his face. “You don’t mess with the new world order, new world order is this. Very simple so even if you’re stupid, which you very well may be, you can understand it, you ready?” She felt anger rising up in her at every word he said, but she knew she couldn’t act on it, not yet. She glanced at Daryl again and she could see something dangerous on the way he was looking at Negan, like he’d strike any second. She knew how dangerous any false movement could be right now and she was desperate for Daryl to understand too, for him to understand he had to control himself right now. She continued to look at him until he turned to look at her too and with a slight shake of her head she tried to tell him to cool down. Negan started talking again but she didn’t break eye contact with Daryl. “Here it goes, pay attention,” he swung the bat around, barely an inch away from her and that’s when she looked back up at him, he was pointing it at Rick and leaning down, “give me your shit, or I will kill you”.

He was back to pacing around, almost like he was parading, swinging the bat in front of all of them. “Today was career day, we invested a lot so you could know who I am and what I can do” he looked at (Y/N) again, his smile falling a little as he continued his speech while looking at her, “you work for me now: you have shit, you give it to me, that’s your job. Now I know that is a mighty big, nasty pill to swallow, but swallow it you most certainly will”

Every time he pointed that bat to Rick, she clenched her fists tighter, she could feel blood slowly dripping down the wounds she was making. She looked at Daryl again, he looked like he was about to fall down any second now and she almost started crying again. She controlled herself though, and with a deep intake of breath she looked back at Negan. “You built something, you thought you were safe, I get it. But, the word is out, you are not safe, not even close, in fact, you are pegged, more pegged if you don’t do what I want and what I want is half of your shit, and if that’s too much you can make, find or steal more. It’ll even out sooner or later. This,” he said, opening his arms and spinning around, “is your way of life now, the more you fight back, the harder it will be” he was once again standing in front of her, looking at Rick, “so someone knocks on your door, you let us in, we own that door, you try to stop us and we will knock it down, you understand?”

Rick was looking away, completely lost, (Y/N) closed her eyes as Negan leaned closer once again, “You didn’t really think you’d get through this without being punished now, did you?” she was getting tired of listening to his voice now, every word was like a stab as it reminded her of how he used to sing her lullabies when she couldn’t sleep because of nightmares. She almost threw up, the contradiction and mix up of feelings was about to make her collapse. “I don’t w(Y/N) kill you people, just wanna make that clear, even less so since my long lost daughter, whom I had given up for dead a long fucking time ago is one of y’all, I want you to work for me and you can’t do that if you’re dead, can you? But, you killed my people, a whole damn lot of ‘em, more than I’m comfortable with and for that? For that you’re gonna pay”.

Negan looked at Daryl then and she felt all the blood on her body turn cold, she’d die before she watched her father kill the love of her life and she was more than ready to throw herself in the line of fire if she really needed to. He continued his speech and she almost felt the need to roll her eyes in annoyance. Doesn’t he get fucking tired of listening to his own voice? She thought. “I am going to beat the living hell outta one of you” She turned back to look at him then, and back at the bat he had in his hand, all anger left her body and was once again replaced by pure fear and dread. He started swinging it around. “This,” he said, pointing to his bat, “this is Lucille”. She looked at him, her eyes opened wide as she heard her mother’s name.

“You fucking named that thing after mom?” she muttered, her voice full of hatred now.

“Shut the hell up, (Y/N), I’m not done yet” he spit out, still not looking at her and that just enraged her even more.

“She’d be disgusted if she saw you right now, what the fuck have you become dad?” she said.

“(Y/N),” he said, his tone threatening as he looked at her, anger flashing in his eyes. She felt like a 5 year old about to be scolded for a second, but she straightened her back and faced him, looking at him straight in the eyes. She could feel the tension rolling off of everyone around her, “you will shut the fuck up now, or this will be much, much worse for your little friends over here, you hear me?” She had to bite her tongue then not to spit a sarcastic comment, but she didn’t back down or look away. He stood back up, rolling his shoulders and looking back at Rick once more.

“Anyway, where was I? Oh, right, all of this is just so we can pick out which one of you gets the honor” Negan stopped in front of Abraham and she saw him straighten himself up, a defiant look on his eyes as he looked at Negan. He walked away and kneeled in front of Carl, (Y/N) wanted to yell at him to get away from the kid. Carl had become almost a brother to her and anything or anyone who dared to threaten to hurt him would end up having to answer to her. “Shit kid, lighten up, at least cry a little” as he walked away she let out a little sigh of relief, it was over once she realized he was walking towards Maggie. “Jesus, you look shitty, I should just put you out of your misery right now”

“NO!” she didn’t know if it was her or Glenn who screamed the loudest, she threw herself in front of Maggie to cover her as Negan lifted the bat up, at the same time as Glenn tried to run to her, quickly being pushed down to the ground by Dwight, who was now Daryl’s crossbow to the back of Glenn’s head. Maggie cried for him and (Y/N) turned around to hold Maggie up and offer some sort of comfort.

“Hey-hey-hey, Mags, it’s alright, he’ll be ok” she knew she couldn’t promise that, but she couldn’t say anything else, not without breaking down too and she had to stay strong for her friend now.

“Nope, no, get him back in line” Negan calmly ordered Dwight and he obeyed, dragging Glenn back by the neck of his shirt. “That means you too, sweetheart, get back in line, you’ll have plenty of time to comfort your friend once we’re done here” (Y/N) glared at him but obeyed too. She looked as Glenn got dragged to his place and her gaze shifted back to Daryl’s, who she knew was starting to lose his patience and would snap at any second, no matter how weak he was. Stay still, I’m ok, she mouthed and she could see him clench his jaw as he nodded his acknowledgment. “Alright, listen, don’t any of you do that again. I will shut that shit down. No exceptions. First one’s free, this is an emotional moment I get it.”

(Y/N) was once again trying to calm herself down, she had stopped clenching her fists because she had realized her palms had bled too much and it was pointless by now. She couldn’t believe this man, this monster was what her father had become. What the hell happened during all those years that led him to become what he was now? How dare he name that murder weapon after her mother? It was all too much and she started crying once again, against her will. She looked around at her family. They looked so weak, so scared, so…frail. That scared her even more than her father’s threats.

“This is your kid, right?” Negan asked, as he pointed at Carl with the bat and looked at Rick. (Y/N) wanted to beg, to beg for her father to stop this, to let them go and stop this psychological torture. She couldn’t though, she couldn’t pass anything down the knot that had formed at her throat. “This is definitely your kid” he said with a laugh.

“Dad, please-” she begged, at the same time as Rick screamed for Negan to stop. Negan really didn’t like that.

“HEY! Do not make me kill the little future serial killer, don’t make it easy on me” Negan said walking towards Rick and her. “I gotta pick somebody, and everybody’s at the table waiting for me to order” he started pacing back and forward then, whistling a somber melody.

“Dad, please, stop this, you don’t have to-” she said and he walked up to her, crouching down to her level.

“That’s where you’re wrong, darling, I do have to do this” he answered, “I have to do this, otherwise your little group of friends here won’t understand that their actions” he said, and with a smirk, he hit the ground a couple of times with the bat, “have consequences”. He got up and started pacing once again, slightly pointing the bat at each and every one of her friends, it didn’t escape her notice that he didn’t point at her. He stopped for a minute and looked behind at his men, “I simply cannot decide,” he chuckled, “I got an idea”. He started walking around once again and as he chanted “Eenie meenie miney moe” he paused in front of every person, pointing his bat at them, close enough to their faces that the barbed wire could scratch them. She noticed how he didn’t stop in front of her and it infuriated her. When he stopped in front of Daryl, she had to use all her strength not to launch herself at him and beat him with that bat.

As the song came to an end, she could feel her skin crawling with goosebumps. One of her friends was about to die at the hands of her father, and there was nothing at all she could do to stop him. All the emotions she had felt that night were starting to take a toll on her and she almost crumbled, she looked at Daryl once again and saw him looking at her concerned. She almost chuckled at how very Daryl like that was, there he was, a gunshot wound on his side and having bled almost to death and he was worried about her. She realized it was silent and looked back to her father, who had finished singing the song and now had his bat pointed at Abraham. No. No. No.

“NO! Dad, please, please don’t do this, please, they’re my family” she cried out, she could hear Rick and Maggie behind her trying to hold her back but she blocked them out. She could hear Rosita and Sasha also begging and crying out for Abraham. Negan looked back at his daughter and for a second he looked like he might back out, he almost looked like he was sorry for doing this. The moment was over though and with a signal, two of his men came forward from behind (Y/N) and dragged her back to her place, one of them held her back by the arms to make her stay in place.

She looked at Abraham, who was still the living picture of bravery and badassery, confronting death head on. He was looking at Negan straight in the eyes, not even breaking a sweat as he said his last words. “Suck my nuts”. Less than a second later, Negan had bashed his brains in with the bat. The world started spinning around her then as she watched her friend die as Negan continued to throw one hit after another. A deafening screech was all she could hear, blocking out the screams and sobs of her family around her and the sounds the bat made as it impacted Abraham’s skull over and over again. The time that passed from the beginning to the end of it felt like an eternity.

Finally, Negan seemed pleased with his results and turned around as if to say some final words. She looked to her side and could feel what was about to happen, so when she saw Daryl get up with his fist raised, ready to take on Negan, she launched herself to stop him, effectively tackling Daryl to the ground. “No, baby, not now, no.” she said in a soft tone, trying to calm him down, she could feel his chest rising and falling aggressively and she knew this could only be hurting him more. She looked back at Negan, who now had the most murderous look on his face that she had ever seen.

“What the fuck did I tell you about not trying that shit again?” he said, poison coming out of his voice in every word.

“Please, dad, it’s enough” she said, turning around to face her father but still sitting in front of Daryl so she could block his way if he tried something else, “we-we understand now, but please, we’ve lost too much”

Negan seemed to consider his daughter’s words as he looked at her, he walked back to the caravan then and threw the bat inside. She breathed a shaky sigh of relief as she looked around at her friends. They were all crying now, Rosita and Sasha were looking at what was left of Abraham and as she looked at them her heart broke once again. They had both lost the love of their lives in once second and she couldn’t help but think about what it would be like if it had been Daryl instead.

She reached behind her and put her hand on Daryl’s knee, reassuring herself that he was still there with her, he was still breathing, for now. She squeezed his knee two times, a habit they had developed, almost like a secret way of communication that said “I’m here, I’m with you, I love you”. He reached forward too with his hand and squeezed it back two times. A tear escaped her eye once again.

The torture wasn’t over yet, it seemed, as Negan dragged Rick into the caravan and took off, leaving the rest of them behind with his men, who as soon as he was out of sight seemed to relax considerably, turning around and chatting with each other as if it was any other night and there wasn’t a body in the middle of them with its brains splattered everywhere. She noticed a few of them look at her with curiosity but she couldn’t care less. (Y/N) turned around once again and faced Daryl, who seemed to have deteriorated even further if that was possible. All the adrenaline that had made it possible for him to launch himself at Negan had escaped his body and left him exhausted.

“Baby, are you ok?” she asked as she brushed his hair out of his face, grabbing his cheeks and lifting him up to examine him. A small grunt was all she had for an answer. “I’m sorry for tackling you down but I had to stop you, hitting him would’ve only made things worse, he could’ve killed you and I-I can’t live without you Daryl, I couldn’t live with myself if he killed you” she started crying and this time he was the one who gathered her in his arms, holding her. She hid her face in the crook of his shoulder and cried.

“And here I thought my daddy was an asshole” he said and she lifted her head up from his shoulder, looking at him in the eyes as she said,

“That man is not my father, my father died a long time ago” she cleaned her tears with her shirt, “that monster is just his corpse walking”. He nodded and they stayed in silence for a while, looking at each other, “I love you, Daryl” she said. It was the first time she said it out loud, it had always been showed with gestures and little everyday things. It never seemed necessary to voice them out, they both just knew. But now, in the face of everything that had happened that night it seemed like there was no point in not saying them.

“’Love you too, (Y/N)” he said as he looked at her in the eyes, conveying more emotions than he ever had before. She kissed him then, softly, just a peck on the lips to remind herself once again that he was alive and breathing in front of her. He put his hand softly behind her head and deepened the kiss a bit more, it took all the strength in him to let her go.

She sat back down next to him and looked at her family, Glenn had gone to Maggie’s side again and was kissing her softly as they whispered things to each other, also reassuring each other that they were still here. Michonne had gone to Carl and was holding onto the boy as they both let go of their tough façade. (Y/N) couldn’t help but feel proud of the boy once again, he was barely 16 and he had lived and seen so much more than anyone his age should and he had come out of all of it stronger every single time. Rosita, Eugene and Sasha were looking at Abraham’s body with tears running down their faces. (Y/N) knew there was nothing she could say then that would make any of it better, and considering it was her father –Negan- who had caused their suffering, she thought it might be better for her to not say anything anyway. Aaron was looking somewhere with a lost look on his face.

Hours passed by in silence as all of them waited for Negan to come back with Rick. It was dawn before they heard the rumble of the engine as it approached, parked in the same place it had been before. Rick walked out of it, soon followed by Negan and as soon as everyone had relaxed when he had left, the air shifted once again and every single one of his men had taken their positions again.

Everything that happened after that was like a blur for (Y/N) as she watched Negan threaten Rick once again, going as far as to dragging Carl in the middle of the clearing and forcing Rick to cut his own son’s arm. (Y/N) was about to throw herself on the way until Negan stopped Rick with a sneer on his face. Apparently satisfied with how broken he had left everyone, he walked back to his truck with a warning that he’d be showing up at Alexandria in a week to “collect his shit”. He looked at his daughter and Daryl then as he stopped in front of them.

“Haul them up on the truck boys, they’re coming with us” Negan said, pointing at them and as soon as he said it, (Y/N) and Daryl we being dragged up into the truck. She could hear her family’s screams for her and Daryl. She didn’t even fight back though, just surrendering herself to the hands of her new captors. She knew they wouldn’t harm her, as monstrous as Negan was now, he wouldn’t hurt his daughter. It was Daryl who worried her more as she watched him wince in pain as his wound was straining.

She looked up one more time before a man closed the truck to see as Rick looked at her and Daryl with tears on his eyes. She knew then that he was broken, broken beyond repair and that any idea of a fight was very far away. If she wanted to get out now, she and Daryl would have to fight for a way out on their own.

She crawled to sit down next to him, moving him carefully so that he was laying down with his head on her lap, she started carding her fingers through his hair. He was trembling and she could feel how hot his skin was, all she could hope was that wherever they took them, they had someone who could take care of Daryl’s wounds properly.

“We’ll be ok, baby, I’ll take care of it” she said as she closed her eyes, softly carding her fingers through her lover’s hair “I’m gonna take us back home”.

#the walking dead #daryl x reader #daryl dixon #fanfiction #negan #lucille

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