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coraclavia · 3 years

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Star Trek: Choir Edition

just go with me here

Benjamin Sisko: Bass 2

great attitude

first person to welcome new singers

always brings his pencil and a closed-top waterbottle

voted choir president every year

always practices

Jean-Luc Picard: Tenor 2

always early to rehearsal

corrects the conductor’s French pronunciation

irons his choir robe

“I already sang this in my old choir”

brings his own pitchpipe

practices, and judges those who don’t

Kathryn Janeway: Alto 2

will happily sing tenor if needed

ragged choir folder held together with duct tape

wears a t-shirt and gym shorts under her choir robe

drinks coffee during rehearsal because fuck you

does not practice, but is an excellent sightreader

Beverly Crusher: Alto 1

not early to rehearsals, but not late

groans audibly when the conductor tells bad jokes

aces tricky chromatic lines at a cold sightread

has never sung a melody

writes down conductor quotes in her music

practices once or twice a year

Harry Kim and Tom Paris: Tenor 1

constantly pranking each other throughout rehearsals

officially banned from ever touching the pitchpipe

think they know the solfege hand signals

do not actually know the solfege hand signals

don’t practice, but no one calls them on it because there aren’t enough tenors

William Riker: Baritone

is pretty sure he’s actually a tenor

giggles if the conductor says anything about measure 69

can kind of read music

has been waiting all year for a song with an egg shaker

immediately volunteers to play the egg shaker

doesn’t practice, but writes his own music and shows everyone

Chakotay: Tenor 2

joined choir because the girl he likes asked him to

lip-syncs the high notes

cried manly tears the first time he heard Eriks Esenvald’s “Stars”

sways the wrong direction

goes out of his way to tell the altos they sound great

practices

Tuvok: Bass 2

pre-1500 music only, please

corrects the conductor’s Latin

can read neumes, why can’t you

it’s ‘ut,’ not ‘do’

prefers pitches given by tuning fork

has music memorized by the second rehearsal

doesn’t practice. doesn’t need to.

Deanna Troi: Soprano 1

does vocal warmups in the car on the way to rehearsal

“is there a descant?”

“can you play the descant?”

wears heels even when she’s in the third row

actually laughs at the conductor’s jokes

practices and comes to rehearsal with pertinent questions

Ezri Dax: Soprano 2

has never been in a choir before, but is excited to be here

not entirely sure how her part goes

eighteen seconds late to rehearsal

thinks the basses sound awesome

forgot to practice once and felt terrible about it

Kira Nerys: Alto 2

glares at people who walk into rehearsal late

refuses to sit anywhere but the back row

cries in verse 3 of “The Road Home” by Paulus

but will never, ever admit it

might practice

Odo and Quark: Baritone

hate each other

refuse to address each other directly

but refuse to sit apart from each other

only practice to make the other look bad

Neelix: Tenor 2

a little too enthusiastic

drops choir folder, spills music across the floor

is not sure which piece we’re working on right now

has closed-top waterbottle but still manages to spill

“I love Eric Whitacre!”

practiced the wrong music

Q: Baritone

lost his choir folder after the first rehearsal

metal waterbottle that falls over loudly

“I learn better by ear” = never learned to read music

was hoping this was a show choir

“I was going to practice but I lost my music”

Lwaxana Troi: Soprano 1

will literally murder anyone who asks her to sing soprano 2

sits in the back row

has a pencil but never marks anything in her music

vibrato so wide you could drive a truck through it

has a standing reservation as the soloist for “O Holy Night” in her church choir

has never heard of practicing

Miles O’Brien: Baritone

can’t sing low enough for bass 2

can’t sing high enough for tenor

so I guess he’s a baritone

has to be reminded to flip every single R in every single piece

meant to practice. he really did.

quit when she realized this wasn’t show choir

#star trek #choir #niche post #there are like four people who might like this #so here you go #I spent too much time on this

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