#"ohhhhhh yeah no prob I can lend you some infinite realms armor fuck why didn't you just say so | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nerdpoe · 10 months

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Just A Small Morsel, Please Sir AU AKA Constantine Would Like to Disappear Please

Batman is about to go toe to toe with another god, and he needs armor that will prevent another "lost in the time stream" incident.

So he consults JLD.

The decide that if he has a piece of a really, really powerful entity, then that entity's powers should think that they're protecting the entity and in turn, protect Bruce.

So Constantine draws a summoning circle, and is bullied into making an actual good offering to the being the circle is supposed to summon. They include a note; it's written in an old, ancient language, but with JLD working together they figure out roughly what it says; something about requesting a piece of the most powerful being's belongings to grant them protection.

Thus, the ritual begins! The lights dim; cold green fog emanates from the summoning circle, the feeling of dread almost overwhelms the lessor experienced.

And then in the middle of John's chant, the ritual is forcibly stopped from the other side.

The offerings remain.

A single note floats down on top of the pile.

'I'm uh...flattered? But like, it's kinda weird to ask for someone's hair. Gonna have to turn this one down, sorry. No kinkshaming, though! I also won't tell anyone else what that kink is, Constantine, don't worry; I got ur back. Anyways stop the creepy hitting on me.

Danny'

Apparently, JLD had not correctly translated the language.

It's direct Translation, once they had that key provided to them by Danny, which once they got that they were able to figure out that one key letter was not what they thought, was more along the lines of;

'Oh Great High King, We Request A Small Parcel, A Small Snippet, Of Your Luxurious Hair. Just For A Little Bit. We Need To Use It For Personal Reasons. Just A Small Morsel. Thank You For Being Pretty. And Amazing. We Just Want A Small Piece. That Is All We Need. It Does Not Take Much. We Are Very Eager. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.'

Needless to say, multiple heroes have to stop Constantine from trying to throw himself out of an airlock.

@simplestoryteller

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dc x dp #dp x dc #just a small morsel au #constantine would like to disappear please au #constantine reads the direct translation #and just fuckin #dies #It takes Batman making the summoning himself #And just using the same sigil but with a note on top of it explaining in english what he wants #when danny's like #"ohhhhhh yeah no prob I can lend you some infinite realms armor fuck why didn't you just say so

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