The disrespect a good lot of them display seems to be everyone's biggest qualm if I'm not mistaken. If there weren't such a large portion of them that were so incredibly rude and fed into the light cringe culture painted spiritual kinning as I don't think a lot of this discourse would exist in the first place.

This might be a hot take, but as an otherkin, kff-ers and kinnies are completely fine to me. They're expressing their identity in different ways, and they're having fun. And that's fine. Just let them do what they want.

Has anyone else felt their everything slipping as the world seemingly ends? I can't seem to get out of the mindset of "why should I even care if this is ethical I'm going to die"

I feel like some of you have started/been living vicariously through misha collins and care a little too much about what the man openly identifies as. Whether he is bi or not is out of the question because it is not our question to answer. It is entirely up to him to figure out for himself what his sexuality is and to come to terms with it and with that being said the way some people treated his "coming out" was unacceptable. Some people (and news outlets) treated it like the world changed and it was plastered all over the internet. I can only imagine how overwhelming it must have felt and still feels. Especially because all of this happened at the height of a satanic panic esque treatment towards queer people.

It is terrible to feel guilty for things that have not been done. Art by Miena AR

Light,

Aside from you, there are a number of other things I've missed from my past life.

For starters, there's matcha ice cream. Due to my location I cannot find it for the life of me but I remember it being my favorite flavor. I also find myself missing the carpet in our headquarters. It was incredibly ugly but I liked how it felt under my feet. I miss my old white shirts, the only ones that felt proper against my skin.

That being said, I do not miss the sensitivity I had to bad textures before. While it still lingers, I find certain things much more tolerable, though there are new things I absolutely loathe. Dry paper towels are a shining example. The sound and feeling is like nails on a chalkboard. It makes me wonder if they ever made me cringe to the same extent in my old life.

I remember how red your eyes looked in the light. I can't remember if they were shinigami eyes or not, but regardless I thought them incredibly evil. I don't think that anymore though. They remind me of dark wines now that I think about it. Although I do not drink, I can appreciate their colors. I could also say they remind me of red velvet cake, but I don't like the thought of myself alluding to eating your eyes. I hope you're able to remember all of the little things you enjoyed back then.

I remember your room. At the time it made me feel vaguely uncomfortable, whether that's due to the farce you were putting up or the fact that it reminded me of university cram sessions, I do not know but I've grown to see the appeal. Call it "maturity" or call it nostalgia but I've found myself saying similar things to a lot of things about you. Maybe it's because I now find the thought of you cozy.

It makes sense, right? We're so separated from our original conflict and have had so much time to think, I think it's inevitable our views have changed. I've also had time to, for lack of a better word, appreciate my own death in a neutral setting, which really helped shine some light on the situation.

I can't help but wonder, what do you think of your death Light? What was it like without me? Part of me wants you to have missed me in the same way I'm missing you. Another part of me finds that to be a highly irrational move on your part were you to even think about attaining world domination, but that doesn't even matter now. The only thing that matters in this current situation is that you're doing alright.

- L

It honestly shocks me there isn't a pro-ana esque community surrounding studying. The type that tells you you're worthless and should kill yourself if you don't study 5+ hours.

I don't think it should exist, modern education systems give people hell as it is, but the little masochist side of me that tells me to study until I die wondered how we've avoided such a thing considering such thought processes are very much real. Maybe because its boring, maybe because people's parents often times do it for them, maybe I'm an absolute lunatic for even thinking this sort of thing up. Who knows. It probably exists somewhere, but for the most part a lot of study communities seem pretty tame.

Leave it to me to think about taking something to the life threatening extreme.

silverlake, hollywood

Light,

It has certainly been a while, long enough for memories to fade and warp and our bodies to decay. The chaos of our past lives has rippled for so long it's turned into gentle waves of the mundane. I do not know how I feel about leading a boring life now.

I say "boring" due to my lack of a case now. All things given, circumstances are relatively similar. There was something about that Kira case that resonated with me. It was the chase I always needed. Had I gotten out of it alive, I think I would have been dead inside. In that regard I am grateful for you, Light.

You may not have been the guiding light humanity needed, but you were the catalyst that brought me and many others to their knees. I can only hope to imagine the chaos your reign inspired. I've stopped feeling disgusted long ago. I'm in awe. I've come to realize I probably would have done the same thing had I been in your position. We just happened to be two sides on the same vile coin.

I've never been great with words. Even this does not fully communicate my feelings about you. About the circumstances we find ourselves in. I hope you understand, but I do not expect you to fully remember our time together. We've changed and yet I still miss you. I'd love to speak with you again. My memories have cracked and I may be unrecognizable, as may you, but I still have hope we'll find each other one day. I promise to never stop looking. I will try to continue to persue my endeavors with the same fire we both carried.

- L