synernist-supervisor
Synernist Silicon
Biomachine Prototype model S14: Daniel VegaStrexCorp Archive Management, DBCR Ex-Producer,
Biomachine Rights Representative,Corporate Asshole.[Ask/RP/cosplay blog for Daniel of WTNV.]
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Daniel feels stronger, too; for all the problems he’s worked through in his life alone, all the equations and algorithms and data stacks, he has never felt something so good as solving something together--as partners. That’s what Kevin is, and always will be. The affection he feels for him only swells at the notion.
The biomachine keeps Haven nested effortlessly in his arm to bottle-feed them, his blue eyes warm and fond as he does. “Please,” he answers, his voice soft. He stays near the Host, leaning against the counter with a soft sigh.
“See, Haven?” he murmurs, looking down into those wide azure blues, that mess of sandy hair. “I told you it’d be okay.”
Together, he thought, they could overcome anything.
justTalk(Kevin);
“I’d like that too.”
Kevin gives Daniel another peck on the lips and offers one to Haven just over their head. He saunters over to the kitchen, preparing a bottle. Each step he thinks about what just happened. All those negative feelings gone in a blink of an eye. He does feel a slight exhaustion though, not physically but internally so. It makes him feel human, almost normal again. And knowing that he and Daniel could over come obstacles like this, he feels stronger.
The broadcaster brings the bottle to Haven as well as a bib. The cloth is wrapped around their neck and patted down. He offers the bottle to Daniel.
“Want me to make you some coffee, too?”
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Kevin kisses him--and somewhere amid the electric blue and smiling gold sparks, Daniel feels his fear dissolve, and everything is right again.
“I hope I get to start up beside you for the rest of my life,” he muses, his fingertips brushing a loose lock of straw-yellow hair back from Kevin’s face; he smiles when he hears Haven burble and stretch, trying to mimic their dad. He hums, happy, leaning in for another soft kiss. “Do you want to get Haven’s breakfast...? Maybe we can unwind from this with a walk in the park, afterward. I just want to spend the day with my family.”
justTalk(Kevin);
Kevin’s heart makes a leap for his throat. He pulls back his hands, only to cup Daniel’s cheek and kiss him firmly. He knows he needs to rise up to the challenge. Kevin worked so hard on destroying the past but its horrors and pain can’t hold him down any longer. He’d step forward finally with his family beside him. He knows he can.
“I love you.” Kevin says. “I promise. I won’t ever scare you like that again.”
He pulls back, fingers tracing Daniel’s jawline and thumbs running just under his lips. Static cracks between the touch, dancing in small flairs.
“You mean too much to me, Daniel.”
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Daniel is, at first, astonished by how little this seems to have to do with the company at all; he can’t help but think it sounds more like a family feud than anything to do with whatever might breach his corporate loyalty. His confusion registers on his face, keeping Haven balanced on his thigh, letting the infant lean back against his abdomen and play with his tie.
“... Joshua is a kid, too,” he says softly after a moment, a ghost of old pain in his eyes. “I know he doesn’t look like it, or act like it, but he’s nearly five. It’s different for us, Kevin, being manufactured and born and thrust into adult responsibilities while we’re still learning our place in the world. It makes us naive... I know I certainly was when I met you. I know you didn’t mean for him to get hurt... and I’m sorry I threatened your daughter with Re-Education. I didn’t mean it--I just wanted you to understand that Joshua is young and vulnerable in a lot of ways, and as important to me as she is to you.”
He sighs, rubbing Kevin’s wrist. “I wish I could apologize on behalf of the company for what happened, even though I know it wouldn’t make an iota of difference... but I hope, at least, I can be here to help you recover what you can and to make up for lost time. I’ll do whatever I can. Just... please, be patient with me, and never force my hand again. I’m more afraid of losing my autonomy than anything in the world, save perhaps losing you or Haven.”
He looks Kevin in the eyes, his own steady with sincerity. “I’ll always be on your side. I promise. Maybe somewhere down the line we can have our garden of sunflowers, and both make peace with the world.”
justTalk(Kevin);
Kevin nods in agreement. It all sounded simple enough. He could most certainly work with that. especially since he has no current targets from the higher ups.
“Yeah… that’s all right.” He glances downward. “To be honest Daniel, I was more bitter about my past with StrexCorp than now. Well… especially now. I don’t have any plans against the company. What I’ve become is beyond anything StrexCorp could tame. There’s no reason for me to be bitter anymore. The people who toyed with me are long gone. I freed myself until the Smiling God caged me once again.”
He pulls back, head bobbing slightly in sorrow.
“I could never hate as a whole. I hate what they’ve done to me: StrexCorp and the Smiling God. I hated those who were responsible for changing me. Its why I went after the Smiling God. I didn’t mean to do what I did, I just wanted to scare my captor away.”
Kevin pulls his hands back, grabbing at his pants.
“And then I found out about my daughter. She’s alive Daniel. She’s been alive this whole time and never not once did StrexCorp think to tell me nor the Smiling Gods. Daniel… they wanted to use her against me. Use her, a kid.” His eyes look to be heart broken. “Joshua was never going to be hurt, he’s more strong than anyone here could believe. I only wanted him to reach that potential, unlock it so he can explore the rest on his own. I never had the intention of him being in harms way anyways. Joshua is your family Daniel and, for a good moment, I thought my friend.” Kevin rubs his nose. “I’m sorry I caused so much trouble. I was never known for making peace with the world around me.”
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“I understand,” Daniel says quietly, his eyes dim. “Let me try to put it into perspective for you, then, so that... we know what is and isn’t safe for you to say. I hate it, but the company still owns me, even though I have my own civil rights department now... they have the right to access my memory and force-program me at any time. As long as I stay in line, I don’t give them reason to use me.”
He squeezes Kevin’s hand, continuing. “I am programmed to be loyal to the company... but it doesn’t mean I like the company, Kevin. My emotions--my personality--they were never really meant to be. There are people high up on the grid who would see me scrapped if Ricardo and Sergio weren’t protecting me, I know. Please know that they genuinely care for me, even if they represent something you hate. All I’m doing is attempting to function as liberally as possible within the infrastructure my existence has confined me to.” He pauses. “... I’ve never had true free will... just the illusion of it. I envy you now, being able to make your own choices free of company control.
“As far as my obligations go, I am required to report you if what you say is indicative that you intend to harm the company or the administration... so as long as you remain vague, or specify the targets of your rage as being outside administration, I can stay silent.” He nods, still nervous. “I am also programmed to believe in a Smiling God... and I do believe they exist, as evidenced, and I am reverent of them, as evidenced. But I am not required to defend a deity that could make no use of my comparatively minimal strength. If your fight is primely supernatural, you are largely safe to share details. Is that... is that clear for you? Is that alright?”
justTalk(Kevin);
“Of course!”
Kevin’s eyes flicker down to Haven. He pulls out his hand, watching Haven grab his index. Their hands are so small against his. Kevin pushes his finger against Haven’s stomach, poking at the small chub over his belly.
“I’ve always trusted you Daniel. I still do.” He breathes. “You’re the only person I’d ever want to confide in. I’m only scared because… I don’t know how much I can tell you that your programming is willing to accept.”
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Daniel draws an artificial sigh, letting go of his apprehension; as long as Kevin loves him, he thinks, it’ll be okay. Understanding and explanation can come with time. Some things just are. Some things are constant. And this, this is a constant.
The biomachine draws Kevin’s hand up in his own, pressing his lips to his palm, feeling the warmth of his skin against the sensors there; he’ll never again take it for granted. “Let’s... let’s sit down,” he offers softly, leading Kevin over by the hand to sit with him on the sofa, staying close--shifting Haven over to sit, curious and wide-eyed--in the crook of his Papa’s arm,who reaches up to paw at his face with a tiny palm.
“I think I understand why you kept everything from me,” Daniel conceded, keeping himself close and his voice low with his forehead resting against Kevin’s temple. “I’m aware that there are powers at work that I’m unable to stand against... I’ve seen it with my own eyes, now. I’ve been shaken in the face of it. But I think it’s come far enough now that keeping me in the dark might do more harm than good...” He rubs Kevin’s knuckles with his thumb, looking down at his hand, and at their child.
“If I know what’s happening, perhaps I can be better here for you. Maybe I’ll know better how to keep Haven safe. And... the rest of my family, too.” He thought of Joshua, aching. “Can you trust me, Kevin...?"
justTalk(Kevin);
Kevin keeps still for a moment, taking the time to simply enjoy the way Daniel holds him. He’s had to rely on himself for so long, keep himself up and never lean against others. The broadcaster finally brings his arms to wrap around Daniel, clinging tight against him. He looks at their child, giving many kisses to their face. He pulls back, only to do the same to Daniel.
“I love you.” Kevin murmurs. “I love you so much Daniel. I never meant to hurt you but… I don’t blame you for being mad at me. I know I keep so many secrets but I promise I only wanted to protect you.”
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For a long moment, all Daniel can manage to do is stare.
It’s like everything is realigning itself in his head; that stable, steady thing in his life that he had come to rely and count on makes sense again. All that time watching and waiting, hoping and pleading for Kevin to come home, to come back to him--suffering stasis and uncertainty and so many telling him it was pointless, that he was gone, that the fleeting dream of what he could have had was snuffed out--
--Kevin came back. Kevin came back for him.
If he was capable of crying, his eyes would have been wet; instead his expression just mirrors the sentiment, looking at him in awe and gratitude and profound relief. There isn’t a doubt in his mind that what he’s hearing is the truth.
Without a second thought, Daniel closes the short distance between them, embracing Kevin with one arm and their Haven cradled in the other between them, nested warm against their chests. He sobs softly, an electronic and wavering noise, pressing his forehead to Kevin’s temple with a shudder of his shoulders. Their little family, together, where they belonged.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, “I never should have doubted you. I love you, Kevin. I love you so much.”
justTalk(Kevin);
“They’ didn’t…”
Kevin can recall how many times his re educator tried to get him into an arranged marriage. He would have made the perfect nuclear family. Handsome husband with a charming wife, beautiful house in the suburbs and maybe three kids. Kevin went through five before his re educator decided to put a pause on attempts. “His mind isn’t properly mended to raise a family, yet” his re educator would always say. Kevin takes a step forward, looking at Daniel.
“Daniel if they did that to me, this relationship wouldn’t have lasted more than three weeks. I had one of the most ruthless re educators for five years before he passed away. He was so dedicated to fixing me but I constantly relapsed my cycle. I’ve gone through so many forced relationships and they all ended in turmoil because of my bitterness and anger. But you Daniel…”
He swallows hard.
“I was pushed through an old oak door. I was consumed by the Smiling God and spent centuries, eons, in a desert alone. But I came back. I came back for you Daniel because I loved you so much. I over came the odds because I loved you. Even through this mess in my head, you were the single clear picture, the single decision I made that I always wanted to pursue. I would have given up on you the moment we were separated if this feeling was constructed from StrexCorp”
He takes in a deep breath.
“If I didn’t feel this way; I would have either ran off or be dead by now.”
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“You’re--you’re not--”
Daniel waits a beat, struggling with speaking over him just as much; he sighs, giving Kevin a moment to finish, and then shakes his head, giving Haven a gentle squeeze. “I want to talk about this... there’s a lot you’ve been keeping from me, a lot I don’t understand, and a lot of my experience I haven’t shared with you either. Just tell me one thing, before we start. I just need to know...”
His voicebox glitches up, as if holding back a sob, his luminous blue eyes dim with fear. “Strex has forced you to do a lot of things. Tell me you’re not just trying to get back at them for it all by... by using me to make a family they won’t steal from you. Tell me... Please... tell me they didn’t force you to love me.”
justTalk(Kevin);
“Daniel its fine.”
Kevin looks to him with wide and sad eyes. He’s not sure if the biomachine would care to be touched but he wants to hold the both of them tight. Kevin rubs his rough fingers together, keeping him from doing any such thing. He continues trying to speak over the other.
“I didn’t mean any of those negative things I said about you. You mean too much to me Daniel! More than anything. I-I was just so mad and I’m nothing but trouble but I never meant to hurt you or your family. I swear-!”
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Where to start? Where to start...?
He’s relieved, at least, to see that Kevin’s anger has subsided; maybe he’s just as lost, he thinks. Maybe they both just need to...
Haven burbles happily to see their Papa, and Daniel looks down at them, his processor aching with emotion. Evidently they’ve already forgiven everything.
“Kevin, I...” He trails off as he approaches him, struggling to find the right words. No matter how many possible algorithms he runs through internally, it’s impossible to know what the perfect thing to say would be. Instead, he lets his emotions talk. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have raised my voice--I--I was confused and upset and maybe frightened and I wasn’t--it wasn’t fair to you, and--...”
justTalk(Kevin);
After some time in isolation, its nearly a miracle to know no one died under Kevin’s hands. He’s certain if he left he would have been lost in time and a flurry of rage. No, he needed to be responsible. He needed to stay home in case Daniel needed him or even Haven. Instead of taking to the outside world, Kevin kept himself locked up a basement.
His project now sits beside an open window, hanging from the ceiling. A beautiful bird cage rests just under his hands. Its trimmed with polished gold and ivory, the beautiful wires shaped into different suns and little carvings are made on the bars. He kept himself busy with the designs, thinking over and over again of what to say to Daniel if ever he returned with their child.
The broadcaster looks away from the empty bird cage upon hearing Daniel. He does his best to keep still.
“I’m glad you’re both back home, safe.”
He should apologize, but where to start? For all the lies? The secrets? His actions towards Joshua? The threats? His own insanity?
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justTalk(Kevin);
For a long while, Daniel stands on the porch of the house he shares with his partner, holding his infant child in his arms, thinking about what first to say.
He almost never deliberates this long--being able to think so much faster than a human has its benefits--but for this... for all of this... there’s so much to consider. so much uncertainty. Even after spending the night with his family, asking his Father for advice and taking comfort in simple things, he still has so many questions. There are so many ways it could all go wrong and fall apart. He’s so scared of losing everything.
Should he just start with... ‘I’m sorry’? Or maybe ‘I love you’. Both of those things are true, but they don’t quite feel right. He’s never felt more fragmented and lost in his life. There’s no logic around emotion--no reason for the terrible things they both said. It has to get better, somehow. He’s never had a fight like this--not with someone he cares about so desperately.
But he looks down at Haven’s bright blue eyes, innocent and inquisitive--and he steadies himself, knowing if not only for the both of them, for Haven, he has to do this. He has to just... just...
He opens the door quietly, stepping inside, his eyes cast downward--he looks a mess, still, albeit with a clean shirt borrowed from his father. Kevin is there, at least--still there. And he just says the first words that jump to the front of his processing queue.
“I’m home.”
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Daniel’s countenance shifts; his thoughts turn to spending the hours recharging, both literally and metaphorically. Just a little while to turn his mind away from pain and responsibility... a chance to disengage. to be a little younger. To feel a little safer.
“Stargazing sounds nice,” he admits, his shoulders sinking, a weary smile crossing his face. “It’s been a long while since you showed me the constellations... and... I think I would like to watch the Iron Giant again, if you still have it. When Haven is a little older, I hope they like it as much as I do.”
"Sir? It's Daniel. Sorry to call at dinner hour--I'm in the car right now, bringing Haven to stay overnight. I'm sorry about the short notice--I--We--...Father, can I... talk to you when I get there?"
Sergio had been setting the table when he received the call. His brow furrowed at his son’s tone and he spoke gently, hoping to calm him.
“Danny, of course. You know we’re always open to you staying here. We’re just setting up for dinner - I’ll get another place ready for you. Whatever it is, I’m here for you. Please, tell me everything when you’re here.”
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Daniel took a great deal of comfort in the simple gesture of just being held; while it still felt like his understanding of reality was crumbling around his head, at least this was a constant. No matter what the world, no matter what else, the man who had raised him up from a tiny self-aware archival program in a console would always be there to catch him when he fell low. He would always, always have his Father.
So for now, he allowed himself to be that--just his son, still learning how to take on the world--and closed his eyes, relaxing under the comforting stroke to his auburn hair, his eyes dimming even more. He knew now, what all of this meant. He needed to talk to Kevin--only Kevin could tell him what he was feeling. If he had really meant what he’d said. If he’d ever loved him at all.
But not yet. He wasn’t ready. Tonight, he just needed to be reassured.
“You’re right,” he murmured, loosening his grip. “I... need to rest. Answers will come in the morning. Right now, I just... want to be with my family.”
"Sir? It's Daniel. Sorry to call at dinner hour--I'm in the car right now, bringing Haven to stay overnight. I'm sorry about the short notice--I--We--...Father, can I... talk to you when I get there?"
Sergio had been setting the table when he received the call. His brow furrowed at his son’s tone and he spoke gently, hoping to calm him.
“Danny, of course. You know we’re always open to you staying here. We’re just setting up for dinner - I’ll get another place ready for you. Whatever it is, I’m here for you. Please, tell me everything when you’re here.”
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Daniel nodded into his surrogate Father’s hands, struggling to pull back his composure. He always felt so shameful, having emotional outbursts like this--he was supposed to be in control. He was supposed to have everything together. But even a machine made to manage could break down sometimes.
Once seated with Sergio in the den, Daniel attempted to collect himself and his thoughts; he told Sergio all about the altercation. About how Kevin had used and hurt Joshua, and then called him a casualty--about how he himself had threatened Kevin’s daughter out of spite and anger, about how Kevin had tried to force him to choke him to prove a point. He played back the recordings of Kevin’s voice, the fearful acid and fury in it he had never heard before. His hatred of the company. His callous disregard for Daniel’s family, in the hypocrisy of decrying what had happened to his own. And his own fear, his terror that one day his lack of free will would be used against him.
“If Kevin wants to hate this company, then let him,” he finished, voice wavering and glitching, shoulders shaking with dry sobs. “I just--I don’t know if he felt this way all along. If he’s always seen me as some monstrous extension made to destroy the things he loves. What if he never really loved me at all? Did Strex make him love me? Did he just use me so he could have another child that wouldn’t be taken away from him? Am I a tool to him like Joshua? Like Sam? I don’t know! I’m lost, Father, I don’t--I don’t know what to do. Please, I just... I don’t know... I don’t know...”
"Sir? It's Daniel. Sorry to call at dinner hour--I'm in the car right now, bringing Haven to stay overnight. I'm sorry about the short notice--I--We--...Father, can I... talk to you when I get there?"
Sergio had been setting the table when he received the call. His brow furrowed at his son’s tone and he spoke gently, hoping to calm him.
“Danny, of course. You know we’re always open to you staying here. We’re just setting up for dinner - I’ll get another place ready for you. Whatever it is, I’m here for you. Please, tell me everything when you’re here.”
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Letting Haven drift off into dreamland, Daniel turned to face his father; pain and exhaustion were written into the silicon of his face as he approached, gently shutting the door behind him as to not accidentally wake the baby.
For a moment he simply quivered, and it was easy to see the frightened and confused boy again, unable to find his footholds. If he had been able to cry, there might have been tears, but instead there came only the strained imitation breath and soft grimace of grief.
“We had a fight,” he confessed, his voice soft and cracked, glitching and wavering just slightly. “We’ve had disagreements before, but we always--Dad, Kevin said awful things. Really terrible things, he frightened me, I--I got so angry, I couldn’t--” he shudders, growing incoherent, half his face in his hand. “I--... I... Smiling God, I...”
"Sir? It's Daniel. Sorry to call at dinner hour--I'm in the car right now, bringing Haven to stay overnight. I'm sorry about the short notice--I--We--...Father, can I... talk to you when I get there?"
Sergio had been setting the table when he received the call. His brow furrowed at his son’s tone and he spoke gently, hoping to calm him.
“Danny, of course. You know we’re always open to you staying here. We’re just setting up for dinner - I’ll get another place ready for you. Whatever it is, I’m here for you. Please, tell me everything when you’re here.”
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Daniel was quiet, for the most part, over dinner; he occasionally participated in conversation and responded to questions when asked, but there was no denying he had more on his mind. The continuous distraction was likely the only thing holding his composure together.
By the time he was settling Haven down in the basinet to sleep for the night, he looked absolutely world-weary, his internal battery running low, eyes dim as he stroked his infant’s cheek with the back of his finger.
“Goodnight, Haven,” he murmured, his back to the door, his voice weak. “It... It’s going to be okay... I promise...”
"Sir? It's Daniel. Sorry to call at dinner hour--I'm in the car right now, bringing Haven to stay overnight. I'm sorry about the short notice--I--We--...Father, can I... talk to you when I get there?"
Sergio had been setting the table when he received the call. His brow furrowed at his son’s tone and he spoke gently, hoping to calm him.
“Danny, of course. You know we’re always open to you staying here. We’re just setting up for dinner - I’ll get another place ready for you. Whatever it is, I’m here for you. Please, tell me everything when you’re here.”
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Daniel hesitated; the thought of taking time off always made him vastly uncomfortable, and yet, the notion of going in to the office tomorrow and having to spend the day confronting people about issues of rights after that... horrible exchange with Kevin...
... He wasn’t ready to go back to that.
“I might... take a day,” he conceded at last, looking rather exhausted. “Just... stay and... look after Haven...”
"Sir? It's Daniel. Sorry to call at dinner hour--I'm in the car right now, bringing Haven to stay overnight. I'm sorry about the short notice--I--We--...Father, can I... talk to you when I get there?"
Sergio had been setting the table when he received the call. His brow furrowed at his son’s tone and he spoke gently, hoping to calm him.
“Danny, of course. You know we’re always open to you staying here. We’re just setting up for dinner - I’ll get another place ready for you. Whatever it is, I’m here for you. Please, tell me everything when you’re here.”
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Daniel’s smile is reflexive; the programmed one he can’t help but show. It doesn’t reach his eyes. Still, he nods. That’s some good news, at least. “I’m happy to hear it. Congratulations,” he adds, knowing pretty literally what she must be feeling.
He spends some time getting Haven set up comfortably in the high chair; he leaves Sergio to watch them while he comes into the kitchen, grabbing formula and the bottle he left here specifically for Haven. The simple procedure of it, the basic work, calms him down somewhat, and when he returns to the dining room, he seems a bit more under control.
Once Haven has their bottle, he sits down next to them, nodding to Stella. “It looks wonderful. Thank you for having us with such short notice...”
"Sir? It's Daniel. Sorry to call at dinner hour--I'm in the car right now, bringing Haven to stay overnight. I'm sorry about the short notice--I--We--...Father, can I... talk to you when I get there?"
Sergio had been setting the table when he received the call. His brow furrowed at his son’s tone and he spoke gently, hoping to calm him.
“Danny, of course. You know we’re always open to you staying here. We’re just setting up for dinner - I’ll get another place ready for you. Whatever it is, I’m here for you. Please, tell me everything when you’re here.”
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The thought of spending the evening with his family... it was comforting, if nothing else. It had been a long time since he’d sat down at the table with his adoptive parents, considering how prone to being busy they all were. And he... he wouldn’t have to hurt them. No one could make him... make him hurt them.
As long as he stayed in line, no one would make him hurt them.
His heart ached. Kevin had never, ever spoken to him like that before. Had he always felt that way? That he was just... an extension of the company, a machine meant to destroy everything Kevin loved? ...He looked down at his child, at the head of dirty blonde hair and round blue eyes, his partner’s face reflected in the little one. Had he still thought that way when they brought a life into the world, half of each other...?
“... Thank you,” he managed at length, keeping Haven close as the baby burbled against their father’s chest, tiny balled hands pulling at his collar. “Kevin was... h-... how is Stella? You said you were... I’m going to be a big brother again...?”
"Sir? It's Daniel. Sorry to call at dinner hour--I'm in the car right now, bringing Haven to stay overnight. I'm sorry about the short notice--I--We--...Father, can I... talk to you when I get there?"
Sergio had been setting the table when he received the call. His brow furrowed at his son’s tone and he spoke gently, hoping to calm him.
“Danny, of course. You know we’re always open to you staying here. We’re just setting up for dinner - I’ll get another place ready for you. Whatever it is, I’m here for you. Please, tell me everything when you’re here.”
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