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susaidharnold · 4 years

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Covid 19

Day 1

Here I sit in my prison home that they call Covid 19. Of course, this is not really day one of the Coronavirus outbreak but it’s the first time, I’ve felt the need to write about it as it gets nearer to home. We’re all imprisoned even though we are at home, we are not allowed out. Well, we are not supposed to go out but living in a rural village where I do, no-one is checking us around here and no-one is going to stop me. And I am fed up with being told to wash my hands!

I’m 61 years old, fit and healthy so how dare the government dictate what I can and cannot do? OK, I know that there is this annoying outbreak of a virus spreading around the world but it is not killing everyone - yet, anyway. How did it get here? Is this Nature’s way of reducing or even completely destroying the human population as a punishment for what we have done to this planet? Or are there aliens from another world who want this lovely place for themselves and have infiltrated us without our knowing? I only stopped working last year and this is not the way I want to spend my retirement, dictated to by an unknown virus and being constantly told to wash my hands.

Day 2

The world is being turned up-side-down. Despite over 17,000 people dying from influenza in Britain last winter, everyone is being told that this virus is ‘unprecedented’, a ‘pandemic’ and we must fight it at all costs. But at what cost? Cafés, restaurants, pubs and clubs have all been told to shut completely and no activities where people get together for social gatherings are permitted at all.

Nobody can escape the effects. Thousands, if not millions, of people can no longer earn a living at all. The government says it will make some vast sum of money available to help those who can no longer go to work because their employer has shut up shop. Some have to stay at home with their children who are no longer going to school as the government has closed them all until further notice. Where is this money coming from? The government will be bankrupt like everyone else.

Those who have a small dose of the virus might normally still carry on as it is not apparently serious for most healthy people but the government insists that one must stay indoors if they have any symptoms of this unknown virus at all for fear of spreading it to others. Did this happen with the usual number suffering from colds and flu in previous winters? No, it did not. Those who had any infectious illness made their own decisions as to whether they felt they could carry on because they needed to continue to earn a living. They would always decide to stay at home if they thought they might pass it on to others. They certainly would not visit elderly or vulnerable family or friends, knowing how important it is to protect them from catching it. We all wash our hands, don’t we?

After a cold or flu, one’s body is wired to build up some natural resistance, therefore guarding against the same problems well into the future. Is this virus any different? The worst thing about this one is that it is a new virus and the long term effects are unknown.

It started in China where thousands were affected and many died. Not long after this was known, it spread to other countries and now all over Europe thousands of their people also have Cornavirus and there it has caused many deaths. Most countries around the world are now stricken to a certain degree as well. So far, Britain has a relatively small number with the virus and low numbers of deaths but the government obviously think that the numbers are going to rise significantly.

Day 3

The sun is shining at last. After a terrible winter with more storms than usual and horrendous floods in so many places, we all thought that winter would never end. With dry weather for most of the country for the next few days, at least one can get out for a walk or work in the garden.

For me, and most other people, there are huge disappointments because of the restrictions which have now been imposed on all social gatherings, meaning the cancellation of all events for the foreseeable future. I am missing my twice weekly circuit training sessions, my weekly Welsh learners’ coffee mornings, my monthly Welsh learners’ afternoon tea meetings. The Learners’ Eisteddfod has been cancelled which was a blow as I had written two entries for the writers’ competitions and had been practicing hard for the recital competition where I was going to read the wonderful poem ‘Ofn’ by Hywel Griffiths. It is full of difficult words for a learner but with my tutor’s help, I believe I was beginning to be able to recite it correctly. This poem actually has resonance today as it says that ‘Terrorism can strike anywhere’. Well, Corvid 19 is the worst kind of terrorism imaginable and it is certainly spreading absolutely everywhere. On top of that, local music concerts have been cancelled, including a classical concert which included performances by friends from our Welsh group and a new work composed by another local composer to be played by one of them.

Day 4

How we are developing alternative ways to live our lives. Our tutor did set up our Welsh class via the Internet on Zoom, a very clever computer programme which meant that we could have our lesson at home, could all see and hear each other and take part in the tasks which she set us. It is not as good as being with the others, of course, but at least we did not miss out completely on our continued learning.

Similarly, my Pilates tutor sent our class over the Internet last week via Facebook so that those who did not want to go out, could join in and she has arranged to send the next few weeks via Zoom so that we can all join in at home. I will if I can find the time and have the discipline to be ready when she starts.

So we try to continue with some sort of change to our lives and we keep on washing our hands.

Day 5

Television production companies are now being affected with the producers of ‘Soaps’ now stopping all filming during this epidemic. Therefore, television is having to improvise. Match of the Day, for instance, has no football matches to record for discussion so have devised various other football related ideas to try and keep their audiences. This Saturday they asked the guests to pick their top ten team managers. I do not watch much television but apparently, The Archers is also going to stop being recorded and that’s a blow to me! Radio producers are trying very hard to keep us cheerful and inventing new ways to entertain us with most of the presenters working from their own homes.

Day 6

It was Mothers’ Day here on Sunday. Older mothers across the country who did not have their children living with them had to miss out on seeing them as they usually do at this time. Normally, pubs and restaurants would be helping families get together to treat their mothers to a special lunch but this year, they could not even go and visit them.

Older people who live alone are especially vulnerable. Their main contact with other human beings is often a visit to the shops or meeting a friend for coffee but now they are considered as High Risk and told categorically not to go out of their homes at all. I heard one 80 year old lady on the radio today who lives alone and is obviously suffering mentally as she has a cold (very unlikely to be Coronavirus according to the doctor who asked about her symptoms) and is not only feeling unwell but extremely anxious in case it is the virus. Another lady was feeling very upset as it was her birthday but she could not expect any visitors so was very sad. The lovely radio presenter did ask all listeners to join with him in singing Happy Birthday to her, (which I did!), so I hope that cheered her up.

Day 7

Lock down. Last night at 8:30pm, the Prime Minister gave an address to the nation. His message was very serious. He basically told everyone that they must stay at home. We should not to go out of the house except for exceptional circumstances, to go for a walk once a day only to exercise, but not to get closer than 2 metres to any other person (apart from family living with you). Those who work in ‘key-line services’ such as NHS staff, care workers or teachers, (who have to teach the few children who do have to go to school as their parents are keyline workers), may travel to work. Anyone who can do so, must work from home. We are only permitted to go food shopping for essential supplies as infrequently as possible or go to receive any urgent medical needs. Otherwise, we are in a complete lock down.

The Prime Minister said things like ‘It will be hard’ and ‘We are all enlisted’. It sounds as if we are living in a dictator state now but he says that if we do not do this, which will slow down the spread of the virus, the NHS just will not cope. So keep on washing your hands.

Day 8

The latest news has many NHS and care home workers complaining that they do not have enough Personal Protective Equipment. This is, of course, of great concern as we desperately need them to take care of those who are suffering with the virus but if they are not protected, many will catch it themselves. Already, several doctors and nurses have died. Recently retired medical staff have been asked to come out of retirement but how will they feel if they are not sufficiently protected either? Will any of them put their own lives at risk too? The government are constantly saying that the supplies are being provided but there is obviously not yet enough of this PPE.

Day 9

Today I spent making telephone calls. I rang the Welsh Blood Transfusion service today to see why our blood donation appointments had been cancelled as I would have thought all this illness would increase the need. Apparently, the university where our sessions are held, cancelled their booking because they are now completely closed and there was no other venue locally where they could hold it. I asked if there was another one nearby and the lady has booked us in the session in another town in April so I just hope that this one goes ahead and I am still well enough to donate then.

I also tried to find out why we have not had a renewal notice for the car insurance which runs out at the end of this month. There is nothing about it on their website and when I telephoned, I just heard a recorded message saying that the office was closed due to current circumstances. I would have thought that this was one company who could easily have their employees working from home since all their work seems to be on line anyway. I have sent an e-mail so hope that does get a reply soon. Otherwise, are we allowed to go around without car insurance ‘due to current circumstances’? Crazy! They usually keep hassling you for weeks before it’s due as they want your money.

Day 10

Well, car insurance sorted though not sure when I’ll be able to use it again. The insurance company thanked me via e-mail for renewing with them so will have to go accept that, I suppose, as I do not have the energy to try and find an alternative company. Tomorrow’s hair appointment has been cancelled so will have to colour my hair myself; boring! The man who was supposed to come and mend my washing machine rang to postpone but at least he still promised that he can come tomorrow. More hand washing today then.

Lovely weather again today. I went for a lovely walk this morning in the sunshine. Didn’t even need a coat. Later, I tried to cut the grass but I am not very good with the lawn mower and there has been no sign of my usual grass cutting man for weeks. Must do some more planting now. Planted broad beans and radishes in the garden yesterday and a tray of tomato seeds in the greenhouse. Picked broccoli from the garden last night too. Some fresh greens very welcome as I am now out of fresh fruit and vegetables. Will probably go shopping tomorrow and see if I can get some anywhere and when I get home, I’ll make sure I wash my hands.

Day 11

Had a lovely walk again, still in the sunshine, though it was a real effort.

Went to the local supermarket this morning. Apparently, they are still getting overnight supplies of essentials like toilet paper but someone is rushing in and buying it all as there was none left when I got there c10:30 this morning. My habit of keeping plenty of necessities in after most of my life living in remote places has kept me in supplies so I expect I will be fine for another week or two. Hope things improve when I do need some more. The shop has been very good at putting some of the ‘social distancing’ in place though. There is a taped line behind the tills that you should not cross until the previous customer has gone and there is also a taped area around the tills so that you could not get too close to the staff serving us. We are all requested to pay by card to avoid touching cash which I mostly do anyway. I got most of the things I wanted. I would not starve as I have enough food in the house but I am missing fresh fruit and veg and had no yogurt for the past few days so I managed to stock up on those. Washed my hands when I got home.

Day 12

I’ve not been bothering to get up very early these days. There doesn’t seem much point. Some time mid-morning, there’s a loud banging on my door. I jumped out of bed, hoping that, at last, someone was coming to tell me that things are getting better now, or at least, coming to see how I am. I opened the door. Two big men push their way past me and soon locate my kitchen. It is the Food Police. They look in all my cupboards and find my food store. They take everything but six tins of food and then start on the freezer. They practically empty that too. Just a half pack of fish fingers and a tiny bag of peas is all they leave me there. They leave as quickly as they came with my precious back up food supplies in their bags. Luckily, they did not look in the garage where I have a second small chest freezer which is almost full of frozen goodies. Phew!

Day 13

Last night’s news was as bleak as ever. Europe’s death rate is increasing daily and now it is in the UK and even the rural areas like mine are beginning to be infected. There are dire warnings throughout the day and night on radio and television. It is even starting to scare me and I keep on washing my hands.

Day 14

Getting worse than ever now. Thousands now dead across Britain and millions worldwide. No point going to town now. Even Lampeter is like a ghost town with all shops closed except for food shops which are half empty anyway. I have enough food for a couple more weeks but don’t feel much like eating anyway. The sky is grey so no point in going out even if it was allowed, which it isn’t at all.

Not much to do indoors now as the Internet is getting slower and slower due to so many people trying to use it at once. Can’t sleep much at night now so did get up at 2:30 this morning and managed to look at the world news but wish I hadn’t as it has nothing to say but that more and more communities are dying from Covid 19 across the world.

Day 15

Dustbins not emptied again. Thought they might have been this morning as the bin men have not been seen for the past few weeks. It is said that only key workers can continue to go to work. Have they taken our dustmen to work in Care Homes now? Isn’t rubbish disposal ‘key’ employment? I did notice that it is beginning to smell horrible as I took a walk this morning to try and find someone to talk to but no-one is venturing out anymore, even to their gardens. Maybe they are all ill in my village now. I don’t feel too good myself.

According to the news, there are still nurses and doctors who think that this is going to end and they are working so hard to help people who are ill with the virus. Every Thursday at 8pm, people all over Britain, and the rest of the world, are joining together to clap hands, or make a noise with anything they have to hand, including many children enjoying using wooden spoons and hitting pots and pans. This is to support, celebrate and thank all those amazing health carers who are trying to fight this thing. I did join at my doorstep but didn’t hear anyone else as I think all my neighbours are either too ill or too frightened even to go outside their own door.

Day 16

Up in the night again. Looked out of the window. The stars were sparkling overhead. Don’t they know that soon we’ll all be dead?

Day 17

Think it’s got me. Can’t stop coughing and feel as if my temperature is a hundred and ten. No Internet now at all. Think it must have crashed from over use. Birds outside giving me a headache with the racket they are making eating leftovers from people’s rubbish bags, probably those ubiquitous crows.

Day 18

A friend phoned this morning. She said that her Internet is ‘broken’. I told her that she is lucky to be alive and there is no Internet to be had anywhere anymore. She didn’t believe me but will no doubt telephone me again to check if the telephone lines keep working.

Day 19

Heard on the news on my radio this morning that there have been riots in London. People fighting over toilet rolls of all things, as if that was the most important commodity in the world. Apparently, there is none to be had in any of the shops. Of course, I didn’t know this as I’m used to living in remote places so always have a plentiful supply of basics like toilet paper, soap and toothpaste so have not even been looking for any when I have been to a shop lately. Won’t be hearing news on the radio for much longer though as I think the batteries are going and don’t have any spare. It doesn’t look as if I’ll be going anywhere near a shop any time soon. Not sure I’ll be needing anything anyway as I’m too ill to eat now. Still trying to drink water though even that tastes nasty.

Day 20

All I can hear is the sound of dogs barking. They seem to be roaming all over the fields around me. Even if I had the strength to, I wouldn’t go outside the house as I am frightened of dogs at the best of times and these sound vicious to me. They are sure to be taking over this world.

Day 21

Radio news this morning – 100 million now dead worldwide from Covid 19, including 50,000 in the UK. Will I be next? Looking out the window, I no longer see any blue sky. In the distance, I can see several plumes of smoke. As I have heard that funerals are no longer allowed, I can only guess that they are burning the bodies.

DAY 1

At last, I am free. I left the earth last night. Here, there is no pain, no worry, no fear and I don’t have to wash my hands. I am so happy to be with my lovely parents again and with my three gorgeous brothers. I am with all my family and friends now, some of whom I lost a long time ago, and many, many more, who, like me, recently gave in to Covid 19.

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