most elf thing abt marcille is her taste in lounge wear. but she has less opportunity to dress in it after integrating more into tall man society because of how catholic they are about showing skin.

ALAKAZAM!

I just can't. They're too cute

its crazy growing up and realizing how deranged everyone is and how many problems everyone has. in such mundane ways. your waiter at olive garden believes in q anon. the woman doing your x ray just moved in with a guy she met a week ago. your insurance agent is a hoarder. etc.

Yeah

'man carrying a very big paiche fish to the market, peru' in (un)fashion - tibor kalman (2000)

in light of police across the country cracking down on pro palestine protests with brutal force, it feels like a great time to remind everyone to shut the fuck up around cops. don't make small talk, dont act friendly, don't fucking engage with them!! if you are arrested DO NOT speak without a lawyer present. protest organizers, get into contact with local pro bono lawyers who can be there for your arrested comrades. no matter what, if cops are there, shut the fuck up unless you are actively doing a protest chant. dont tell cops why you were there, dont tell them if you're affiliated with the school you may be protesting at, dont tell them if you came there with anyone, dont tell them anything!!!

did this last night

a post-doc was doing a guest seminar at my institute and at the beginning of his presentation he was explaining why he chose birds for his evolutionary analysis - so he said "well first of all, because birds are the best and most interesting animals and it's fun to study them" and a few professors in the room gave him a very serious nod

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

Quiet Quitting is when you're not doing anything wrong but the vibes are off

AN-TI-BO-DIES

Elf cooking show: First person helmetcam of a an elf hunting and killing a deer with their bare hands. They sing a lullabye to the deer before they snap it's neck and prepare a side salad.

Dwarf cooking show: America's Test Kitchen but even more rigorous. 20 minutes of discussing how to maintain precise heat just to boil water.

Halfling cooking show: Great British Bake Off with soap-opera levels of internal drama. Everyone is stoned off their ass.

Orc cooking show: Edible mythbusters. The contestants must make bbq with a live dragon. People straight up die sometimes.

Goblin cooking show: Goblins don't really understand the concept of restaurants, but they have a show like Diners Dive ins and Dives for rooting through people's trash.

yeah

I made (ceramic) salmon for dinner

POINT AND LAUGH