sun-livinggg-moon-missing
Living for the Sun, dying by the Moon
I was lost, but now I'm found,
Unrequited Love for the Moon,
Sun is where Home Lies
Always Evolving.
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Ibuprofen isn't enough. I need to be euthanized.
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I need to be fucked n loved just as hard
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Vincent van Gogh, from a letter to his brother Theo (The Hague, on or about Sunday, 7 May 1882)
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“So often, a visit to a bookshop has cheered me, and reminded me that there are good things in the world.”
― Vincent van Gogh.
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“Trust yourself. You’ve survived a lot, and you’ll survive whatever is coming.”
— Unknown
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“Be with someone who treats you as a destination, not a stop along the way.”
— Mandy Hale
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There's so many levels I want to go with you baby,
But truthfully they are not all safe
And I finally came to terms with where you reside
But I guess I have some questions and I need you to truly think about these and get back to me.
You study me on earth, and you have that realm figured out. But are you scared of what lives in the sky? Do you feel the disconnect. And is it needed to survive? If the sun and the moon collided what would happen. That is safety that is something I don't have to worry about we are up at two totally different times of the day to survive. To live.
But is that something that will eternally bother you? I am a night person. Especially high. I believe the night and early morning are where people are the rawist. I always have and always will in some capacity find myself in that realm revive my soul and the parts of me that I told myself that were dead.
I want to show myself to you who I am in those moments but it's maybe something you do not need to see. Maybe that is something you truly will not understand but I do want you along for the ride atleast one time. There are parts that awaken in me at that time that I feel like you need to meet, I want you to experience me in that space. But maybe that's not where you need to be....
I am trying to figure all of this out but tonight I realized even though I haven't been this free to just be or be me or feed my demons, that I do still have a soul, I wrote tonight for the first time in a while I feel like my brain just flowed, I listened to music and felt it, my brain stopped the merry go round of bullshit, and was able to take pictures I am proud of to capture moments I never want to forget. This may be alot but my next question is...
Do you want to be this person while I'm not on earth, that I can share whatever the fuck is going on up there or do u not want the weight of that or to see me in that space or those ways....
I've always been some sort of writer or photographer or shit that probably makes me sound like I'm crazy and I might just be... I'm not good or talented but it's the only way I know how to let people truly in.
Or do u want to stay where we are. On earth building a life and future together. Which is totally fine and may be the best route. You give me so much comfort I guess I am just super scared to lose you fr mentally. You have no idea the things that I got lost In tonight after you fell asleep and I guess I just need your sensible brain to bring help me sort some of it out.
I'm rambling. Now consider this your "Drunk" text 👽
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“I am both wound and knife”
— Emil M. Cioran from “The Temptation To Exist”, 1956
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— Frank Bidart, from “Half-light: Collected Poems 1965-2016; ‘Elegy’", published c. 2017.
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*lowkey loves you for the rest of my entire fucking life
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“Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.”
— Emery Allen
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THE LOVERS.
In the end. love always wins.
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