Welcome to the gun show >:y

the magnus archives is a workplace comedy

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a little modern au tech >:D

Gideon Nav terrible fashion sense is so important to me babygirl has never been free to dress herself in her LIFE and i firmly believe that if she did have that freedom she would wear just. the most dogshit outfits. socks with slides. neon colors. shirts that say TITS with an arrow pointing down. outfits so bad every woman she meets is begging to take her on a department store makeover episode. outfits so bad you wonder if she got dressed in the dark upside down picking her clothing items by chaos potential. outfits so bad they wrap around to being sick as hell before winding back and punching you straight in the face

one of my favorite details about chilchuck frm the adventurers bible is that he specifically hates when other half foots infantalize themselves in front of other people and he wants to advocate for half foots to have rights and agency and be seen as adults but also he is so turbo allergic to sharing any information whatsoever about himself that he refuses to tell people his real age and gets infantalized anyway. king of shooting himself in the foot and complaining his sock is wet

beware of attack lesbian!! reblog if you too are, indeed, an attack lesbian

Yknow how people say they picture senshi and it helps them cook? I think I’m doing something wrong (DO NOT DO THIS)

adult hood is just

*buys a half gallon of milk* *uses it all within a few days* *decided to buy a gallon of milk to not run out before next shopping trip* *uses a teaspoon of milk that week and it goes bad somehow* *buys a quart of milk instead so it won’t go bad* *uses it in one day* *buys a quart and a half gallon of milk because the gallon was too much but the half gallon was not enough* *only uses the half gallon* *gives up on milk for a few days in general* *buys a gallon of milk again just to tempt fate* *somehow uses all of it without realizing and then has to eat sad cereal with like the 5 drops of remaining milk*

he found a poster for a phineas and ferb theme party and just. decided to go. oh my god 😭

hey. don’t cry. pit bulls in jackets, okay?

"I laugh when I look at this shot - one in a million chance of capturing the precise moment when these birds are locked in eye to eye!

Out in my boat fishing one morning, I noticed that an eagle was being harassed by a blue jay on the shoreline next to my cabin. The blue jay’s relentless attacks were only mildly irritating to the eagle. The big bird’s facial expression was one of pure disdain. Jays are fiercely territorial - the eagle had perched near the jay’s nest and the jay was determined to protect its young.

My boat floated closer and closer to the skirmish and I knew that I might be able to capture a special moment if I just kept shooting. I love the image for so many reasons. The eagle is protecting its most valuable secret weapon - its eyes - by sliding a thin membrane over its eye just as the jay flies by. The jay is executing a ninja move as it makes its escape. And I love the way the image illustrates the sheer contrast in size between the enormity of the eagle’s body and the small silhouette of the blue jay.

I’ll always be thankful that I was in the right spot at the right time."

📸Ken Wiele

A goddamn legend walks among us

if being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now

More Gideon and Harrow shenanigans today :)

You’re a demon. One day, you’re summoned into a living room, and an exhausted woman quickly rambles about needing to get to work and being unable to find a sitter before flying out the door. Now, you stand in your summoning circle, a toddler staring wide eyed at you.