Shadows and stuff, a composition.

By Matti Merilaid.

Is that a gift or a curse?

good morning suguru spent years thinking his best friend hated him so intensely that he couldn’t even face him

Anaïs Nin, Henry and June: The Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin (1931-1932)

"you made me a creature to be feared, so fear me." clutching my chest reading that quote. needed to take a deeper inhale than usual. had to sit down. starting to tweak

everything i've ever let go of has claw marks on it

Frank Bidart The Third Hour of the Night / Ashe Vernon IT'S A CIRCUS AND WE ALL PAID TO BE HERE / unknown / Rachel Swirsky A Memory of Wind / unknown / unknown / @borzoidaily

rkgk

i've genuinely had the worst few weeks and now new neighbors moved in above me and they are so fucking loud so late in the night its literally 12 am and they're? drilling? they consistently make noise until like 3-4 am and they don't shut the fuck up and i'm literally on my last straw and i'm so upset and BAWLING

🐝  *  ―  𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑷𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑶𝑴 𝑶𝑭 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑶𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑨 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺. ( all of these are taken from the song lyrics from the musical of the same name. feel free to change pronouns and adjust to your needs! )

❛  remember me once in a while — please promise me you'll try.  ❜ ❛  where in the world have you been hiding?  ❜ ❛  stories like this can't come true.  ❜ ❛  close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams.  ❜ ❛  and you'll live as you've never lived before.  ❜ ❛  let your darker side give in.  ❜ ❛  who was that shape in the shadows?  ❜ ❛  is this what you wanted to see?  ❜ ❛  now you cannot ever be free!  ❜ ❛  fear can turn to love, you'll learn to see.  ❜ ❛  i shall give you one last chance.  ❜ ❛  it's useless trying to appease me.  ❜ ❛  you're only saying this to please me.  ❜ ❛  if he knew the truth, he'd never, ever go.  ❜ ❛  it was an accident ... simply an accident.  ❜ ❛  why have you brought me here?  ❜ ❛  what you heard was a dream and nothing more.  ❜ ❛  i'm here, nothing can harm you.  ❜ ❛  i'm here with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you.  ❜ ❛  promise me that all you say is true, that's all i ask of you.  ❜ ❛  you're safe, no one will find you.  ❜ ❛  all i want is freedom, a world with no more night, and you, always beside me, to hold me and to hide me.  ❜ ❛  all our fears are in the past.  ❜ ❛  why is it secret? what have we to hide?  ❜ ❛  [name], what are you afraid of?  ❜ ❛  you were once my companion, you were all that mattered.  ❜ ❛  why can't the past just die?  ❜ ❛  don't make me do this. it scares me.  ❜ ❛  we'll be parted forever, he won't let me go.  ❜ ❛  am i to risk my life to win the chance to live?  ❜ ❛  do i have any choice?  ❜ ❛  i know i can't refuse, and yet i wish i could.  ❜ ❛  don't think that i don't care, but every hope and every prayer rests on you now.  ❜ ❛  you! why did you let this happen?  ❜ ❛  but can i trust you?  ❜ ❛  i love her! does that mean nothing?  ❜ ❛  the world showed no compassion to me!  ❜ ❛  did you think that i would harm her?  ❜ ❛  why should i make her pay for the sins which are yours?  ❜ ❛  this is the choice — this is the point of no return.  ❜

Michael Mazur, Canto IV, Limbo, 1996

the way i had to make myself a salad at 10 pm because my body was craving something other than the 6 frozen dino nuggets i have eaten for the last 3 nights straight shows that i'm getting old

he's only been with the girls for about a month, just a little over, before his 18th birthday. it is a lonely day. a quiet day. he forgets entirely that it's his birthday, and it goes uncelebrated. the girls eventually ask him what his birthday is, and they'll always do something for him, even if it's just drawing a little card and picture, moving forward. but that first year after he defects, he forgets his birthday entirely. suguru only remembers that he has a birthday the following december, when satoru's birthday rolls around.

" Matcha Mochi coming up ― I will warn you however, I have never made them before so they may not turn out so well. " she is doing her best.

❝ you don't have to worry yourself with it. ❞ still, there is a small smile on his mouth, something kindness - tinged. it has been a long while since suguru's had a treat he deeply enjoyed. one tinted with fond memories, sticky fingers. it was the one dessert he always loved, the one he could eat in full. have two of, even.

there is gratitude in his tone that she would even offer. attempt. ❝ you've done a lot. i hardly expected any acknowledgement for my birthday, as well. ❞ once upon a time, he'd had people. and then, he only had his girls. it's almost strange, to be on the receiving end of some kindness after everything he's done. a part of him wonders if it's deserved, or if qiqi is just kind. ❝ thank you. ❞

it's suguru's birthday where are his savory treats

Geto Suguru is dating you<3

I love my wife sm

Richard Siken, from Crush; “Boot Theory”

[Text ID: “A man takes his sadness down to the river and throws it in the river / but then he’s still left / with the river. A man takes his sadness and / throws it away / but then he’s still left with his hands.”]

suguru is the type to distance himself a little if he feels unwanted. he's a little bit...possessive, but not in an acknowledgeable way, just in an internal feelings type of way. he'll lick his wounds alone rather than cling harder, but he feels intensely if he feels even the slightest bit as if he's been replaced. it's just hidden.