Reminder: learning isn’t supposed to make you feel bad. Sometimes the """right""" way doesn’t work and it’s alright. There is beauty to be found in chaos.

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21.04.2024—chaotic first week back at work, spent today (sunday) rotting in bed

23/04/24

Just a little picture of my notes, trying hard to study for an exam i don’t even know I’m going to apply for.

Some facts about me:

Currently a dental student.

Studying for an exam. This exam is for when I graduate, I want to become a surgeon, more specifically a maxillofacial one.

English is not my first language. As you can see 😛

Female.

I guess Cesar doesn’t like geology…

Took me until about halfway through college before I realized “study” means “play with the material in a variety of ways until you understand it” and not just “read the assigned chapters and do the homework” and I think that probably should have been discussed at some point prior to that.

Studying is hard work, but it's all worth it when you finally get the grades you deserve.

today:

got a head start on one of my assignments 📄📄

making myself physically attend today's lecture lol

passed my first dorm inspection !

love love love the sunsets here, the colours are always so vivid 🧡🌅

We're in the middle of a heatwave and I have to write the world's Dreariest, Driest, Desperately Dull subject: Law of Taxation tomorrow. Wish me luck <3

some things i've discovered about law school! (part one)

first, i apparently have been having too many thoughts about this as i've compiled this list over the last four years because tumblr decided to put a character limit on my post. smh. so here's part one and part two will come...later in the week.

second, many of these, i've discovered, are also relevant to graduate programs and can apply there too, but it's also relevant to acknowledge that i'm biased by my own experiences as a chronically ill + queer woman in an evening program, so I won't be so arrogant as to assume these are all universal experiences/takeaways:

rest. above all else. you can't use the knowledge you're gaining effectively if your heart/mind/body is running on empty. my personal routine has been to (attempt to) intentionally set aside one day a week to do things that have no connection with my job or my schoolwork. i read (for fun!), i write music, i bake, i watch TV—whatever nonsense needed to keep my head above water.

respectfully, law school is a shit show sometimes. don't go just because you need something to do post-grad—it's not worth your mental health/sanity/student loans. (that said. if you're passionate about it...that's a different story.)

everyone else feels overwhelmed. even when they say they don't. they are. for your own sake, it's good to have people around you who are willing to admit it so you don't feel like you're going it alone, but even if you don't...it's not "easy" for anyone, if only because of the sheer amount of reading/writing/work you're being asked to complete.

know who loves you, and make an effort to remember it. when you're applying for law school—and especially for an evening program, one of the biggest advice you'll receive is to make sure you've got a "good support system" in place b/c it's a rigorous course of study and you're going to want to have people who can keep pace with you while you're running the academic race to the bar. fine. cool. agreed. but it's a bit of a misnomer in my opinion, because it's not just like a formal support system a la 'this is my therapist, rebecca' (although wouldn't not recommend therapy lmao), it's also important to just...know who your friends are. and make new ones who you can commiserate with and who won't try and gaslight you into thinking that it's an easy thing and you're the only one who feels stressed. amidst all of the type-a valedictorian stereotypes that exist for law school, there are just as many people who are here because they care deeply about injustice and think that studying the law is the best tool they can equip themselves with to combat it. also people who want to put on musicals for fun every year. YMMV and all that. but really, truly, finding the people who are your people and making a concerted effort to be around them when you need moral support is crucial to keeping yourself from getting caught up in the throes of cutthroat academia. (would also note that this could be a great consideration when you're looking at schools before you commit as well. it played a massive role in why I went where I did tbh)

you don't, actually, have to settle for egregious mistreatment from professors and mentors. obviously there's some nuance to this, BUT, most professors are reasonable human beings who are willing to work with you if you need time/space/energy to do something differently than how the syllabus explains. that said, it's usually helpful to let them know sooner than later if that's the case.

no two days are the same. sometimes, law school is about having all of your cases briefed and all of your notes in order a week before class and feeling more than prepared for whatever's asked of you by a cold-calling professor. other times, it's forcing down a bland muffin in the car five minutes before class starts because you just took your migraine meds and you know your stomach will riot if you don't at least attempt to soften the blow with food. these two experiences are not mutually exclusive.

words become worlds. the more you say to yourself that X experience is going to suck, the more likely you are to make yourself feel that way about X.

if you're someone who values quality time as a love language, know in advance that the way you'll experience it while in school is going to be harder than you're likely used to—but it can still be good and life-giving. you can still have quintessentially ~collegiate~ experiences, they'll just look different—i don't walk to my friends' dorms anymore, i drive to their apartments to bitch about our teachers/partners; we don't tailgate on weekends anymore, we get together and get up to other nonsense when we have time like random sherlock holmes board games or going out to see the DnD movie; i don't walk people to class anymore; i volunteer to drive people home from class. if you need it—if you care about it enough—quality time can be carved out.

do what you need to do to get through the day/week/month. if you need to treat yourself every week to give yourself a serotonin boost, do it. if you need to get on a train where you have limited service so no one can contact you consistently for about a week, go for it. if you need to spend a weekend locked in an a-frame in the mountains of north carolina where no one can reach you so you can take time away from school/work to read and write, do that too. (note: those are my examples, find yours and do them shamelessly).

don’t forget the things that give you joy. it’s easy to get caught up in class placements and extracurriculars and grades and forget that law school isn’t your whole world. try to remember that and take time for the things that will keep sustaining you long after you’ve forgotten about the Frigaliment case from contracts. you're more than your degree, and your degree is more than your rote memorization of cases and rules or your class ranking.

(part two coming soon)

26/04/2024

life has been hectic, with the end of semester approaching slowly but surely. i still have to finish my thesis, do all the remaining coursework for my classes, and then start studying for state exams :’)

24.04.2024 // slowly becoming one with this desk. the wires bother me a lot so i've sought advice from a friend on how to organise them better. hopefully, they'll stop looking like such dump. a colleague also donated her french press to the office, which means that i don't have to spend $10 on coffee everyday because frankly, that is utterly absurd and I had, in fact, stopped drinking coffee for a while. but can't do without that caffeine; it keeps me functioning.

whereabouts of february 16, 2024 🪥

low energy again today—i trace that back to my shifted sleep schedule. i love early mornings anyway, so i’ll get my circadian rhythm back on track <3 i’m not being too hard on myself though bc i know i needed more rest after the rough day i had yesterday :)

i wasn’t as productive today but i still made assignment progress because of my study systems—3 designated time blocks a day with the 5 minute rule. that’s what these systems are for!