it's murderer night, the one night a year where there's for sure a murderer. famously, the murderer will do everything they can to try and deceive you into opening the door, so i'll have to stay alert.
at midnight i hear a knock on my door. cautiously from my couch, i holler "who's there?"
i hear whoever's on the other side say "im a woman with boobs".
i contemplate this for a moment, before opening the door. on the other side is the most beautiful woman with boobs ive ever seen. but while im looking at her boobs she takes out a knife and murders me.
moral of the story: women can be murderers too so stay on guard.
The computer is a machine built for looking at pictures of fish you wouldn't otherwise see. Anything else you can do with a computer was an accident and unintended
Me: man I hate not being in a flicker, I wish one would happen
The monkey's paw: this is like the fifth time in two months you've curled that particular finger, maybe a different one would yield better results, less routine consequences...?
nothing canon era fic writers could come up with will ever be as cruel as modern au fic writers putting these guys in the most basic modern scenarios. like he was born to live & die by the blade, his story was over before it began. and you made him take the bus and work a 9 to 5 job
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