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stellato-midnightt · 4 years

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heather | yo shindo

Warning: I wrote this because my pea brain can’t comprehend that Shindo and Tatami are together...also because I refuse to accept it-

Song: Heather by Conan Gray

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I still remember, third of December

Me in your sweater, you said it looked better on me than it did you

Only if you knew, how much I liked you

Being friends with Shindo and going to UA came with a cause. Although, both of you didn’t mind.

You had known each other since before UA or Ketsubutsu—in fact, you both met when you were 6-years-old.

It was the early days of winter and your classroom was cold even with the heater on, at a young age Shindo was a gentleman despite the fact that sometimes he was a little aggressive when it came to playing or using his quirk.

The boy would always make cute comments about the clothes you wore- what the teachers saw was a cute gesture, what you felt was a crush developing.

“You look cute in your sweater” he commented after sitting down next to you with a red face. You smiled, silently promising yourself that you would wear the sweater more often.

But I watch your eyes as she walks by

What a sight for sore eyes, brighter than a blue sky

She’s got you mesmerized, while I die

You had asked yourself multiple times how you fell for Shindo, it had been eleven years since Shindo said your sweater was cute.

You laughed to yourself. “That was years ago” you whispered to yourself. “What was (Y/n)?” looking to your left, you saw Shindo sit down next to you.

After hours of trying to get you to visit him at Ketsubutsu, he managed to get you to give in—he was flooding your phone with messages like: “Come to Ketsubutsu” or “Hey, I’m dying”

You sat in the cafeteria, eating the food that Shindo had bought. A small part of you saw this as a date and that small part went quicker than it came. When a funny story of Bakugo came to mind, you wanted to mention it to the messy haired boy that sat next to you- but he was occupied.

And at the time you didn’t feel it but that small part of you was dying, slowly but surely.

Why would you ever kiss me?

I’m not even half as pretty

You gave her your sweater

It’s just polyester, but you like her better

Ever since Shindo had met Tatami, she was part of everything both of you did. From friendly little lunch dates to when you and Shindo would meet up when you were free from school—those moments made you forget that you like Shindo or that Shindo liked Tatami.

Realization hit late but when it hit you, it was hard.

Tatami had something you didn’t- more time with Shindo.

It never came to mind but in the late hours of the night, it would creep in and make its presence known. You would sit up and cry until you couldn’t breathe.

Wish I was heather

Around this time of year, you were busier and of course, you needed to inform Shindo that you couldn’t see each other as much as you did.

Hey, Shin, I’m gonna be busy so I can’t hang out this week

That message was sent three hours ago but not seen.

Now, you were slowly dying from your studying. Silently praying to yourself that Shindo would text to let you know it was okay or call back to keep you company- even if it was through a screen.

Watch as she stands with her holding your hand

Put your arm ‘round her shoulder

Now I’m getting colder

After the exams you and the mess you called a best friend saw each other again—with Tatami with him—and he was bombarding you with questions—questions that had nothing to do with what happened during your exam week.

It was if you had gotten myself a boyfriend while he was gone or if anyone else kept you company in his place.

“I waited for you to answer my text but seems you were busy with Tatami” was what you wanted to say but what came out was “No, I spent my time alone in a ditch”

For the rest of the day, you wandered around the mall-we meaning you were walking slightly far from the two while they practically hugged each other.

It was a cute scene, if your heart wasn’t slowly wrenching with the feeling of your ribs hugging your lungs.

Day eventually dragged on to night and the next thing you know cold wind started blowing through your hair. “Hey, (Y/n) you okay?” Shindo’s voice caught your attention, completely blowing away the cold that invaded the air.

“Yeah” simple and quick like the glance you gave Tatami when you noticed Shindo’s jacket around her shoulders.

But how could I hate her

She’s such an angel

But then again kinda wish she were dead

You were back home, in your room. How you got back to the dorms went completely over your head—what you do remember was walking in and passing by the kitchen, completely ignoring your older siblings question if you had dinner.

A few hours later you were still awake with questions screaming in your head and music making it easier to cry. You wanted to cry, to let it out.

“Tatami is perfect,” you started. “She’s pretty, smart and she can keep Shindo company” you continued, writing down all these words in a notebook. You knew your writing was going to be all over the place because of the dim moonlight that shone through your window.

You refused to turn the lights on in case anyone walked by your room and walked in to ask why your lights were on. At the back of your mind you were just scared that someone might walk in and ask why you were crying your eyes out.

You paused, the pen hanging in the air and notebook sitting on your lap. What was the answer to that question?

Shindo and you were never a thing so why would cry about something like this?

But I watch your eyes as she walks by

What a sight for sore eyes, brighter than a blue sky

She’s got you mesmerized, while I die

Ever since that night, you distanced yourself from Shindo. Making up any excuse to avoid him- but your best friend was smart and he saw right through all the “I’m busy” and “I have to study, sorry”

He confronted you and convinced you to go with to a hill after an hour or so of asking and begging, he got you in his car and drove you out to the hill near your old pre-school.

You two sat there in silence, watching the sunset disappear behind the mountains that faced you. “Remember when we were those kids?” he pointed to the kids from the pre-school running to their parents and older siblings.

From the corner of his eye, he saw you nod.

“And remember when we were best friends?” his words hit hard. Really hard.

“Of course I do” escaped your mouth.

You were somewhat ready to answer his next question, even if it meant confusing him or getting out of his car or both.

“What’s wrong? You’ve been avoiding me for the past two weeks”

The dam broke you let out. “Because every night I’d ask myself, why would you ever kiss me?”

Shindo had no idea how to react and you knew why but you continued, with tears starting to prick your eyes.

“I’m not even half as pretty” tears were uncontrollably falling down your cheeks and you could feel your eyes burning red.

“Why would you say that?!” Shindo didn’t mean to yell at you, he didn’t really, but he hadn’t realized that’s how it came out.

Your crying had somewhat calmed down but your heart was still pounding like crazy in your ears, the adrenaline of the moment coursing through your arms. “You gave her your sweater” a whisper came out.

“It’s just polyester” his hair covered his eyes, the sun had long set and the moon was illuminating the half of his face.

You weren’t begging Shindo to love you back or to leave Tatami—you were begging yourself to let go of your feelings for him. A clot formed in your throat and you could feel your body get pulled towards your best friend’s chest. Despite the feeling of warmth you forced it out.

“But you like her better”

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Would you look at that; we’re done with this mess

#bnha #yo shindo #heather #song fanfic #shindo #bnha shindo #bnha yo shindo #tatami nakagame #angst?#stellato-midnightt works #stellato-midnight writes #bnha imagines #yo shindo imagines #yo shindo x reader #bnha yo shindo x reader #conan gray #i wrote this because I can't accept certain things #bnha x reader

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