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-Yours_Truly_Commander_Shepard: The List
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@friendoftrees
Boop Breakdown
Well, you did it. You booped. You booped all over your dashboard with reckless abandon, your finger gnashing away at the boop button, much like a lovely raccoon discovering a glorious half-eaten baked potato. A treasure was presented, and you knew you deserved it. You deserved to boop. Collectively, you booped 142,566,897 times. To repeat: one hundred forty-two million five hundred sixty-six thousand eight hundred ninety-seven boops were had on tumblr dot com the website and the app.
Specifically:聽
Normal boops: 119,204,929
Self boops: 12,645,652
Cat boops: 7,925,241
Super boops: 2,095,231
Mischievous, aka evil boops: 695,844
One particularly boopable Tumblr was booped a total of 874,212 times. To be so rich in boops is a blessing. The Tumblr that gave the most boops found it in their heart to bestow 127,073 boops upon those they found worthy.聽
Over 500,000 Tumblrs were booped and booped back in return. And for what? What would drive so many to boop? Does Tumblr yearn for the boop mines? Well, yes. And also the guts, the glory, the prestige, and, of course, the badges. Oh, how you worked for those badges:
Booper participants: 229,881
Booper enthusiasts:聽 85,548
Booper supers:聽 67,571
Hold your heads high, Tumblr. You booped until you couldn鈥檛 boop anymore. You created incredible fanart, invented a whole new genre of -sonas, and even created your own premium, high-end awards. It was noble, it was boop. We hope you boop yourself, and boop for boop. Boop, boop boop? Boop, boop. Boop boop boop, boop boop; Boop! Boop!聽
Boop,
Tumblr
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馃槀
The two best reasons to get into fossils are booping trilobites and getting to say the word "fossiliferous" a lot.
Fossil [Explained]
Transcript Under the Cut
[Cueball is holding two pieces of rock in a paleontological site. Megan, Ponytail and White Hat are in the background.]
Cueball: It's weird to pry open a rock and see an animal that no one has laid eyes on for 400 million years.
[Zoom in on Cueball looking at the fossil he is holding.]
[Cueball pokes the fossil.]
Cueball: Boop!
Off-panel voice: Hey! Don't boop the trilobites!
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Where is Doctor Who? I'm sure ST still wins, but Doctor Who had almost 400 hours in early 2017. (Note to self: do some math 馃)
Star Trek's crazy ass 28 day total runtime leaving everyone else in the shade
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Ilia fucking Malinin鈥檚 world record breaking free skate
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I found out tonight that my local yarn store is having a knit-along/crochet-along of Emotional Support Chickens, and they're going to bring all of their chickens together on Local Yarn Store Day (which I think is in June). I'm considering joining in, despite not needing any more projects 馃.
#knitting#knitters of tumblr#crochet#knit-a-long#emotional support chicken#stash busting#localbusiness
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Okay so, got here from a book on animal behavior but: Vulcan stand-up comedy as a competitive activity.
Because most Vulcans don't actually pretend they don't have emotions, it's all about self-regulation, right? And good comedy usually hinges on manipulating the relationship between our faculties of recognition and surprise in various ways, you can get pretty scientific with it.
So Vulcans go to the comedy act, and the idea is the comedian is trying to make you crack up, and the audience is trying to not even crack a smile, and if you do laugh, you lose. Like all in good fun, but Vulcans are both really competitive and really aware of how dangerous that urge can be to a society, so this could actually be classified as highly orthodox Surakian practice.
So of course the comedian has to actually be funny, or there's no challenge and the game is boring.
Which means the really good Vulcan comedians (most of whom tend to extremely dry delivery of their bits) are going to go around playing to packed houses, which mostly sit staring stonily back at them, with occasional breaks when someone loses it and reacts.
And after a show you'll have Vulcans walking out discussing with great approval how very humorous that was, with varying degrees of muted smugness or chagrin depending on if they won or lost.
I bet there are human comedians whose grandest fantasy is being good enough to do a set in Vulcana Regatta and have people going around bragging about not laughing at them.
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@bloodsoaked-rainbows @wren-of-the-woods
episode of the day
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Perhaps they ought not to have eaten the dragon. There had been people objecting to it at the time. Surely such meat was poisonous. Perhaps it was even an affront, an insult to some intangible order of nature they ought to honour.
But the city was starving, the siege had gone on too long, and the king's troops were still a week's march away. The scorched earth would be fertile again in time, but right now it was barren. Right now there were mouths to feed. So they changed their crossbows for butcher knives and got to work.
None of the royal commanders asked any questions that could not be answered. After all, their aid had come shamefully late. The dragon's horned skull made a noble gift, a fitting tribute from a triumphant city to its humbled king. Who would have thought to question them?
And none of the townsfolk spoke up, when the first golden-eyed babes were born. Children who grew up barefoot and fearless, clambering over the city's patched and rebuilt roofs like they had no notion of falling, with a strange glitter to their skin when the sunlight hit it just so. No one breathed a word about dragons.
Because soon enough there were deft, young hands taking loaves straight out of the oven, heedlessly lifting iron from the forge, plunging into boiling laundry water. And some of them more wondrous still, wild, warm-skinned youths, with inexplicable knowledge and peculiar remedies.
A blessing, their families said proudly. A blessing after so much hardship. Which it was, in its way. This city would never fear dragon fire again.
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Please rebagel for the largest sample size possible!!
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april fools day is actually the most sensible day of the year because it's the only day on which people will read something on the internet and stop for a second to consider whether or not it's actually true
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