st2pidity
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I finally asked for help. After years of suffering alone, I finally told someone what I've been going through and what I've been feeling. She just told me it was darkness. She told me I didn't look like a depressed person. She told me to stop.
Hah. Of course. What was I thinking?
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I deleted your contact. I deleted your photos. As bad as it hurt, I tried my best to delete the thought of you from my mind. But everyday, I'm just reminded of how much I still belong to you. In an instant, I'd still stick by your side no matter how fucked up you are. But you'll never know. You've probably moved on and found someone else to play with, but I know no one else will love you as much as I did. Once they find out you're a shadow man, they'll leave. But, see, I knew what you were all along. And yet... I stayed. Because I figured there was a good person behind all your bad intentions. I thought, if I just loved you a little harder, I could help you. Fix what's broken.
Turns out I was just stupid. And in love with a monster.
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I remember when I felt whole
All the pretty words, all the lies... I remember
My happiest days were in December
I was in love with the way you made me feel
The way you made me change
And, at the time, I thought I was in love with you too
But I was just addicted
Because I said I could take your high
So when you died in my world...
I didn't know what to do
I knew I'd never be the same again
I tried desperately to find something to cling to
But nothing was ever enough
And I fell
All the way back down
But this time, I sunk further
At times, I'd just lay in my bed staring at the ceiling
Trying so damn hard to recreate you in my head
And I tried to set goals
I tried to change...
I tried to be happy without you
But I couldn't
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