squareoctopus
squareoctopus
Confused about stuff.
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The man ran a special type of illegal business. He provided a service that many have wanted but few have been able to… well, afford. He could make you disappear, forever, and give you a new identity. A sweet deal.
Basic package would go for the value of a gold ingot, and include all documentation, backstories, and transportation to your temporary rental home (included).
The Deluxe Package was way steeper in price. 3 to 5 gold ingots in value, depending on some options. Everything from Basic plus clean deep background check guarantee, cosmetic surgery, fingerprint modification surgery, an already established company and several employees who never knew their boss but “somehow you look like him”.
After the client had finished choosing their options, the man would set a date and several instructions to begin the “disappearance” process. The client would always have to take several buses for a few hours then walk in a specific direction until someone picked them up.
The deal would be closed upon arrival, when the client would pay the fee (a large portion in cash, the rest via varying methods) and finally receive instructions for the final steps.
…
“A nice service” a client told the man once. “An even better business”, the man replied, as he hit the ignition switch that would vaporize the client without a trace. “A gooooooooooood business.”
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I have free will! I said to the table, not knowing why I ate that slice of pizza if I’m lactose intolerant.
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Diesel Zombies
Zombies appear. They eat brains and move sluggish.
Running is tiresome. Cars need gas, and we don’t want to pollute, you know. So, we jump on a train. The train is diesel. There’s no diesel, so we make biodiesel. But we don’t want to use our food to make this fuel. No no.
So we make zombie biodiesel. THEN we are going places. The train is always on the move, running over thousands of annoying zombies. We collect the pieces, blend them, chemistry stuff and voilá, someone speaks french.
Eventually a company emerges to provide fast manufacturing of zombie biodiesel. “Green Corp.” provides us with fuel for our survival trains!
Finally we discover that Green Corp has been infecting new people with the zombie virus because, you know, capitalism is the true zombie.
kthxbai
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