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springofivyy · 4 months

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Why Women Should NOT Break Their Boundaries for a Man

One time when I arrived home from picking up my brother, I heard "Nothing But a Good Time" by Poison being blasted from a guy's car. I couldn't contain my excitement for the song and started dancing and singing along. My brother had already gone inside, but I stayed to talk to the guy about his music taste.

The guy and I had similar music interests, and after talking he wanted my contact information. He asked for my Instagram, but I was hesitant and offered my number instead. He took my number and wrote it down. Later on, even a day or two, I waited to hear back from him, but I heard nothing. It wasn't until I realized that I most likely dodged a bullet from a potential player.

Looking back now, I am grateful he did not reach out. I made a subtle boundary and given his actions, or non rather, it would appear that later down the line he probably wouldn't have cared about me or my boundaries. This also helped me realize that bad men will not respect you or your boundaries. They will try to break those boundaries to control women.

This might sound like an unpopular opinion, but when I am first getting to know a guy, I will only give my number until I feel that I can trust him. I do realize that social media such as Snapchat, TikTok, and Instagram are how my generation, I am Gen Z and proud to be, communicate. However, men can use women's social media against them. Men may exploit women's social media to try to belittle them, and ruin their lives/reputation if women do not allow men access to them. These men are dangerous.

I understand that social media is what is "trending" and "popular," but messaging on social media is the same as texting on the default messaging on phones. The default texting allows you to message, send videos, pictures, memes, and gifs. Just like social media!

Call me “old-fashioned," but this is my belief. I view my social media as personal to me. I would not want someone who I do not know well enough to know about my personal life and struggles - especially bad men. This is my boundary. You may agree or disagree, but what I am trying to say is women shouldn’t drop their boundaries for men.

It is important that while getting to know and dating men, women must have boundaries. This will help women weed out the bad men from the good men. Additionally, the more women are willing to stick to their boundaries, then the chances of finding a good man increases. Good men will respect and value women and women’s boundaries because they would not have ill-will intentions.

Men constantly test women. They test women because they want to see what buttons they can push and see if the woman will react. If women do not act like themselves or break down their boundaries, then good men and bad men will act differently. Good men will not want women who try to prove herself because good men will see that the woman has low or no self-esteem - however, good men will not try to manipulate or control them, they’ll just move on to a woman who does stay true to herself. Bad men will see that the woman has low or no self-esteem, so they will not respect and value them and keep them around to manipulate and control them.

On the flip side, if women do stay true to themselves, do not break their boundaries, and do not try to prove themselves, then good and bad men will act accordingly. Good men will want to respect, value, and care for women because they’ll see women who do not compromise themselves take care of themselves and know their worth. Bad men will recognize that women are not willing to compromise themselves, so they’ll move on to find a woman who, in their eyes, is easily manipulated and controllable.

In order for women to find good men, they must not break their boundaries for any man - or anyone! We women are powerful. We are the ones men should be impressing - not the other way around!

#advice for women #womensupportingwomen #relationship advice #dating advice #supportforwomen

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springofivyy · 4 months

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The Prostitute Mindset - Why Men Must PAY to Access Women

Now before you question what I am talking about, since the title of this blog is called “The Prostitute Mindset”, let me clarify that I do not mean to become a sex worker. I will be talking about a mindset that helps women understand their value and worth. If you’re still unsure, keep on reading.

When you think of a sex worker, such as OnlyFans, you may think of women selling sex. You are correct, however, it is the fact that the men are willing to pay to access these women. This is why I call it “The Prostitute Mindset.” If men want to access women, then they must PAY and put in effort.

I will die on a hill by staying true to my belief in gender roles - to an extent. When it comes to men and women, I believe in biology and spirituality. Biologically, I believe men are built to handle stress, work so much, and do the heavy lifting - whereas women are not built for this. The whole “Girl Boss” culture is harmful for women because whenever a woman works so much and stresses too much, they feel more burn out than men. I am not saying women should not be able to work, I believe they should, what I am saying is that biologically they are not meant to handle so much stress the same way men are.

Also, another reason why I believe in gender roles, again to an extent, is because people are trying to get rid of gender roles for good. This is dangerous! Women who are “Pick Mes” and “Girl Bosses” need to be stopped and helped because this is not empowering to women, it is serving the men. Women will end up doing ALL of the work, and the men will not contribute or contribute little. When/if women do this, they will be so tired and burnt out.

Furthermore, I also believe in spirituality (i.e. masculine and feminine energy). Masculine energy is all about doing, whereas feminine energy is about being - which could also be rooted in biology, too.

One reason why I hold these, biology and spirituality reasons, to be my truth and values is because I can vouch for these based on personal experience. Whenever I acted in my masculine energy, such as chasing men and working too much, I didn’t feel good and I was sad and disappointed. However, whenever I act in my feminine energy, being pursued and not working so much, I feel better and like my true self.

While I believe there are good things about Western culture, I do have beef with one aspect. That aspect is in order for women to be valued and respected in society, they have to ACT and WORK like men. This is harmful for women, and is misogynistic in itself! Women shouldn’t ACT and WORK like men because of biological differences! It is as if society does not recognize the value women already have by just being a woman.

Although I am not religious, I do agree and love that Eve was created so Adam would not be alone. I will repeat that, women were created so men would not be alone. Additionally, without women, we would not be here. Ever since the beginning of time, women held the true power, but it would seem that society forgets or does not acknowledge this. Perhaps one reason for this is because men are upset that women have the power all along, so they undermine women so they can gain power and control for themselves.

I think we need to bring a new form of feminism, and that is what its root word is. Feminine. We need to create a new form that celebrates and ALLOWS women to be and work like women. What we have now undermines women and their value. I am learning this and am encouraging women all over to stop being and working like men and just be women, our true selves, because we hold the power all along.

What is the Prostitute Mindset?

I did not come up with this concept on my own. YouTuber Manifestelle has a video called, “the least men can do is pay - OnlyFans exposes the 50/50 scam + gold digging is feminist?”, that has helped me develop this mindset. Please check out her video and channel, she is AMAZING! I am so grateful for her because she opened my eyes and is helping me to change my life for the better.

The Prostitute Mindset by my definition is this: if a man wants to access you, then they must pay and put in effort. As Manifestelle says, “the least a man can do is pay.”

As a woman who has been through the ringer with men, I cannot tell you how much Manifestelle’s videos changed me. I am not the only one, too. Women all over are done and tired of being mistreated, and putting all the effort into men who do not truly care about them.

Now typically, women who engage in sex work do not give men their pleasure unless they pay. Why should women, who do not do sex work, not do this concept, too? By having this mindset, you weed out the bad men, helping you find the right men. The bad men will not be willing to pay and put in effort for you because they want you for free, so they will not respect and care about you. However, good men are willing to pay and put in effort for women because they will be willing to provide for and take care of the women.

I do not believe in 50/50 relationships. If anything, I believe in at least 20/80. The 20 percent is what the woman does, and the 80 percent is what the man does. Women take care of the home, children, and if she wants, works, but not too much (20 percent). Men go to work to provide, do the heavy lifting, fix the car, take out the trash, etc. (80 percent). This idea is rooted in biology and spirituality.

One of my ex-coworkers told me that when she moves in with her boyfriend, all she has to do is take care of the groceries and her boyfriend will take care of the bills. I agree with this 100 percent. Although, I do believe that a woman should contribute to the bills and rent/mortgage, too, but not ALL of them - unless the man makes enough for him to cover all the bills and rent/mortgage.

Why The Prostitute Mindset is Beneficial and NEEDED For Women:

As I mentioned before, women should and need to use this mindset because this helps women find the good men from the bad men. I do agree that relationships are transactional. Men and women do date differently, so it is important for women to not settle and date around until they find a good man.

One way that men and women date differently is because men want to be supported and needed, and women want to feel loved and protected. Men see sex as a reward, I 100 percent believe this. So if men want their pleasure, then they must make sure the woman is properly cared and provided for.

This is not really a bad thing, I don’t think because sex = life, and is pleasurable for both genders. However, not a lot of women will admit this because society condemns women for enjoying it and having a high libido. One reason for this could be because men “populate as much as they can” and women raise the future child - since women can only be pregnant once at a time biologically. While I do understand this point, I still disagree with condemning women for enjoying what is natural and is essentially life!

I am not saying women should engage in hook-up culture and sleep around as much as men because this is not biologically good for women - again most likely because of biological differences. When it comes to women, I strongly disagree with hook-up culture and them sleeping around because of the emotional connection that occurs during sex for women to a man who does not really care about them outside of sex. I am not calling women who do this a “slut”, what I am saying is that women should not and need to stop doing this because of the emotional damage it causes for them. With this being said, I am more accepting of men sleeping around and engaging in hook-up culture because of their biology, but this does not mean they should use their biology as an excuse to cheat on and mistreat women.

Going back to paragraph three in this section, although I do think women should not and need to stop engaging in hook-up culture and sleeping around, I do think they can and should enjoy sex without the labels of being called a “slut.” How do you think we are all created? It is because women have sex.

However, women are told to not enjoy it and that having a high libido is abnormal for a woman. This is misogynistic because, outside of biological differences, these views come from a point of trying to manipulate and control women. Men use this to gain power and control for themselves because they are competitive creatures. If a woman is seeing another man, then the other man will get jealous because they want the woman to himself. Additionally, this is another reason why women hold the true power instead of men because men will compete with one another to have women.

Back to the first paragraph in this section, when men provide for and take care of the women, women will feel loved and cared for - resulting in a very happy ending ;) for both parties.

Takeaway:

I am grateful and proud to be a woman. And I will not stop being a woman - even in a society that tells women in order to be valued and respected, they must ACT and WORK like men. Womanhood is my truest self. I feel good and powerful as a woman. Manifestelle has helped me see this, so again, I encourage you to check her out!

I also encourage women all over to use The Prostitute Mindset to weed out the bad men from the good men. Again, I am not saying for women to become sex workers, what I am saying is to use this mindset so women will be valued, cared for, and respected by men and future spouses.

I am on this journey with you! If you have any other similar advice, or women’s support group videos, books, stories, etc., please leave them in the comments below!

#women #dating advice #supportforwomen #relationship #relationship advice #unpopular opinion #unpopular thoughts #unpopular take

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