✰  —  —  *  MORE POPULAR TEXT POST STARTERS

‘  when i figure out how to die without hurting my mom’s feelings it’s over for me, bitches  ’ ‘  420 stands for “4got 2 0pologize”  ’ ‘  all millennials do is commit minor felonies and be gay  ’ ‘  hoodies are one of the most powerful and underappreciated articles of clothing. cold? put on a hoodie. raining? put on a hoodie. no bra? put on a hoodie. nothing to wear? hoodie. cripplingly low self esteem? you already know. so versatile! so multifaceted!  ’ ‘  i thought christmas was like… next friday or something its in like 3 days fuck  ’ ‘  if you’re not in love with me by 00:00:00 jan 1 then just block me. i don’t need that kind of energy following me into the new year  ’ ‘  who needs ghosts? haunt your own house. wander around your own living room wailing and crying  ’ ‘  my kink is not opening messages and pretending theyre not there  ’ ‘  u know when ur growing out of phases and mindsets but u haven’t found where exactly ur shift in identity is going yet? that’s tonight’s mood  ’ ‘  me @ me: don’t start buddy don’t you dare  ’ ‘  there are people you haven’t met yet who will love you  ’ ‘  god knew what she was doing when she made bruno mars short if he had been tall he would be too powerful  ’ ‘  motivation? haven’t heard of her in years how she doin  ’ ‘  Do you think people with LED headlights know that everyone hates them? Like…really hates them in an oddly personal way? Do you think they know?  ’ ‘  and the final mood for 2017 is: you know those days where you’re like, this might as well happen?  ’ ‘  putting more importance into self care, spirituality, love and peace of mind. start with stretching and deep breathing.  ’ ‘  dont forget to tell someone you love that you love them, thank people who deserve to be thanked, be more patient on people having a hard time, be more considerate, understanding, and be kinder, always.  ’ ‘  do you think in the 1700s there were people who were like nah man Mozart’s a total sellout I only listen to peasants beating things with sticks it’s way more authentic  ’ ‘  2032 is gonna be my year just u wait  ’ ‘  I want a “I made a playlist for you” typa love  ’ ‘  @ 2018 the bar is literally so low  ’ ‘  Just because you don’t look like somebody who you think is attractive doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive. Flowers are pretty, but so are sunsets and they look nothing alike.  ’ ‘  i have a “why am i like this” moment at least five times a day  ’ ‘  very sad to hear about donald trump. nothing happened to him i’m just sad to hear about him  ’ ‘  *me, eyes wide open at 3am* what happened to chandler bing once he got to yemen  ’ ‘  tonight’s mood is the deep desire to be held close in a dimly lit room, covered in blankets while rain is softly falling outside  ’ ‘  do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”  ’ ‘  i guess im just too fucking dumb to lucid dream. cant ever realize im in a dream, i’ll look around me like damn i’m in my old elementary school and my teeth are falling out and im naked? well shit guess this is my life now. got fooled by my subconscious again lads  ’ ‘  u ever get no sleep and the next day ur body functions like the tumblr app  ’ ‘  you ever wonder how many people you’re in the “we’re friends but i would kiss you if you asked” club with  ’ ‘  is anyone else just going through life like “yeah i just gotta get past this last difficult week and then it’s smooth sailing from there!” but like… every week  ’ ‘  The only thing toxic that you should still be in contact with is that song Britney Spears made, because that song is lit.  ’ ‘  imagine if you named your kid dad. just dad.  ’ ‘  take care of yourself, please. i don’t know what id do if anything happened to you.  ’ ‘ crazy how personal growth can make you let go of people you swore you couldn’t live without.  ’ ‘  im in no position to have high standards but it doesn’t stop me  ’ ‘  you can start over at anytime. your day is not ruined. your world is not over. take a deep breath. start over.  ’ ‘  I’m gonna have a bomb ass life and I know it cause I’ve suffered so much and I know that wasn’t for no reason  ’ ‘  you ever just get in bed and ur like yep this is where i’m meant to be  ’ ‘  an unstoppable force (my love of books) meets an unmovable object (my lack of a desire to actually read anything)  ’ ‘  i just have this persistent feeling of “i’m not doing enough” combined with “i don’t have the energy to do anything” and it just really fucking sucks  ’ ‘  sorry I haven’t replied to ur texts I’ve been overwhelmed by literally anything that’s ever happened or will happen  ’ ‘  me when i see a wild animal in a metropolitan area: reclaim your space, we are the invaders, retake what is yours  ’ ‘  no offense but money would solve literally every single one of my problems. like all of them. i dont have a single problem that money wouldnt immediately solve  ’ ‘  i am not enough and it’s eating me alive  ’ ‘  what do u mean “what have i been up to” … i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch  ’ ‘  always remember that love will always come back to u. in a different form, different person, different hobby, different touch. but in any way, love will always come back.  ’ ‘  The struggle between me wanting to be successful and me wanting to lay in bed 24/7  ’ ‘  If you play “Feeling Myself” by Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé at exactly 11:58:50 pm on New Year’s Eve, Beyoncé will say “World Stop” in 2017 and “Carry On” in 2018.  ’ ‘  Self care is putting absurd amounts of parmesan cheese on your pasta  ’ ‘  you ever just like “wow that’s my voice? people listen to this clown on a daily basis?”  ’ ‘  ravioli ravioli give me a reason to live  ’ ‘  finally worked up the courage to tell the starbucks girl she was beautiful and i only puked twice  ’ ‘  do i wanna know??? no. but thank u monkey friends  ’ ‘  hey this is kinda ns.fw but i wann h*ld your h*nd  ’ ‘  talent: overthinking  ’ ‘  have you ever had that feeling that you really wanna workout to get a flat stomach… but you also just wanna eat pizza and watch netflix.  ’ ‘  if you google eyebrows are you eyebrowsing  ’ ‘  *skips tutorial* how the fuck do you play this game  ’ ‘  Literally heard a convo at the library where a guy was telling a girl that he’s an omega and the girl telling him that she’s a beta, and my mind just did not automatically connect the context to fraternity pledge classes at all and I just whispered to myself “what the fuck?? What the fuck??”  ’ ‘  my hands? ready to be held  ’ ‘  Catch These Hands! with your hands. we’re holding hands now. this is nice  ’ ‘  kinda weird that u can think about someone as much as u want and they have no idea  ’ ‘  physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll  ’ ‘  I would rather wander around a store for 9 hours than ask an employee where something is and this I do not understand  ’ ‘  my childhood, or, as i like to call it, the general abyss with one or two memories attached to it   ’ ‘  i know ‘gay’ isn’t an emotion but let’s be real,,,,,,,,,it kind of is and i feel it 24/7  ’ ‘  babe get ready for a night on the town, i just found an old Subway gift card and there’s still $9.45 left on it  ’ ‘  just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined  ’ ‘  i’m the person who’s 100% down for spontaneous adventures but also 100% down to lay in bed all day. i’m on both ends of the spectrum  ’ ‘  this year has changed me more than I ever thought it would.   ’ ‘  it’s ok to disappear for a lil while and get your shit together.  ’ ‘  if you wanna love me hmu  ’ ‘  calling me baby makes me so freakin weak  ’ ‘  i’m that one guy on spongebob always screaming about his leg  ’ ‘  remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life  ’ ‘  i just want someone who’s excited to make out with me and text me all the time.  ’ ‘  never apologize for your giant dogs getting overexcited, if i get taken down by a 100 pound mass of fluff then that’s how i go.  ’ ‘  when i figure out how to die without hurting my mom’s feelings it’s over for me, bitches  ’ ‘  THIS GUY JUST ASKED ME WHAT MY NAME WAS AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE SAID SO I SAID 4:45  ’ ‘  my blood is glow stick juice. thats why all my bones crack when i move.  ’ ‘  are cute dates and rough sex too much to ask for  ’ ‘  honestly, my goal in life is just to be a very warm person. i want to be as loving and as kind as i can be.  ’ ‘  just a small dumb bitch…. living in a lonely ditch  ’ ‘  you’re not selfish for wanting to be treated well  ’ ‘  when y'all fake conversations in your heads do you sometimes say random sentences out loud too? i was just tying my shoes and said very sternly and loudly “i DO know how ants work, fucker”  ’ ‘  true space facts: if u look up there it is  ’ ‘  anyone else bummed they have 2 sleep alone tonight and uh not in some1s arms  ’ ‘  how am i sensitive and a bitch at the same time  ’

all of these starters come from the twitter of the maine’s lead singer   &   can be found here !

‘  even on a bad day i feel good.  ’ ‘  don’t chase the pain.  ’ ‘  we’re all just barely keeping up.  ’ ‘  in the darkness we’re all the same; human, alone, and afraid.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to fade away.  ’ ‘  i’d like to know for certain, but i think that i’m alright.  ’ ‘  time kills you, but don’t kill time.  ’ ‘  fear is close, but love is closer.  ’ ‘  this is the youngest we’ll ever be again.  ’ ‘  sometimes i am not my brain.  ’ ‘  nothing changes if you don’t.  ’ ‘  sometimes the bravest thing you can do is quit.  ’ ‘  despite everything, i’m still in love with the world.  ’ ‘  stop trying to fix everything, everything can’t be fixed.  ’ ‘  you are missing from me.  ’ ‘  you’re the only voice in my head.  ’ ‘  love is a risk, love.  ’ ‘  you can make it alone, but it’s a lot less fun on your own.  ’ ‘  sometimes i feel better feeling nothing at all.  ’ ‘  the past won’t haunt you if you don’t want it to.  ’ ‘  sometimes it’s gotta get worse before it gets better.  ’ ‘  every moment’s relevant, bittersweet, and delicate.  ’ ‘  don’t let your heart freeze over.  ’ ‘  i’m here. and that’s all i can be.  ’ ‘  sad as i am to see you leave tonight, real life requires real goodbyes.  ’ ‘  can’t crawl out of your own skin; might as well get comfortable with the skin you’re in.  ’ ‘  nothing prepares you for the hard parts of life except for the hard parts themselves, but you’ll be alright.  ’ ‘  i still feel the same after all these years.  ’ ‘  you’ll never know the way you look through my eyes, and it makes me want to cry.  ’ ‘  control what you can, comfort what you can’t.  ’ ‘  control what you can, comfort what you can’t, and always remember how lucky you are to have yourself.  ’ ‘  you made my day, my month, my year just by being here.  ’ ‘  if you’re not yourself, you’re everybody else.  ’ ‘  there’s nothing left to lose when there’s nothing left to hide.  ’ ‘  is the sadness everlasting?  ’ ‘  there are still people here that need you.  ’ ‘  it is what it will be.  ’ ‘  love all of me or not at all.  ’ ‘  how wonderful i am at making a mess.  ’ ‘  i already miss the things we haven’t even done yet.  ’ ‘  you need someone that i just can’t be.  ’ ‘  you are a sound i wasn’t listening for but needed to hear.  ’ ‘  don’t you dare love just to be loved in return.  ’ ‘  love is a beautiful word, but sometimes that’s all it is.  ’ ‘  nothing is easy, but you don’t have to make it so hard.  ’ ‘  you picked the wrong time to know me.  ’ ‘  stop being such a fucking whiner.  ’ ‘  i’m afraid i’ve shown you too much of my heart.  ’ ‘  i’m looking up and looking forward, there’s nothing back there for you or me.  ’ ‘  i am the only one in my way.  ’ ‘  this time, try speaking from your rational mind and not your emotional heart.  ’ ‘  you deserve to feel good. and beautiful, and loved, and wanted, and young, and respected, and wild, and complex, and adored, and so on.  ’ ‘  i’ve got whatever you want so long as you want is me.  ’ ‘  don’t throw your love around just anywhere.  ’ ‘  i’ve got to let you go.  ’ ‘  the lovely little loneliness would hold me down under the sound of being found, but then it all turned around.  ’ ‘  to not dance when you had the health and could hear the music could be the biggest regret of your life.  ’ ‘  i miss you more than i probably should.  ’ ‘  i can’t tell if this time of year makes me want to fall in love or never see a human being ever again.  ’ ‘  in this moment i could die with you.  ’ ‘  oh, the things we do to hide the “bad” parts of ourselves from the ones we love.  ’ ‘  if you’re at the end of your rope, you can borrow some of mine.  ’ ‘  all of my friends are getting married. i am sincerely happy for them and can’t wait to drink and cry alone at their weddings.  ’ ‘  it’s okay to be okay.  ’ ‘  i think i like the idea of you more than the actual you yourself.  ’ ‘  i want to be the type of person you feel better for being with.  ’ ‘  wherever you are, you are you. if nothing else, you are you.  ’ ‘  being sad is all the rage, but if you ask me it’s overrated.  ’ ‘  i’ve been think about thinking less about think too much about.  ’ ‘  why do i waste my time with thoughts of “us” in my mind?  ’ ‘  the world is not out to get you. in fact, it couldn’t care less.  ’ ‘  to hell with sweet nothings, you deserve sweeter somethings.  ’ ‘  in one deep breath exhale all the terrible words on the tip of you tongue that were about to jump out of your mouth.  ’ ‘  i hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for.  ’ ‘  you’re not the cause of my heart breaking, you’re just a symptom.  ’ ‘  do you really think it’s fashionable to talk like an asshole?  ’ ‘  the bags under my eyes are packed, but i’m not going anywhere.  ’ ‘  some people and things are better left as sweet memories.  ’ ‘  i don’t wish you the worst anymore. in fact, i have to try extra hard to think about you at all.  ’ ‘  you can’t have it all, but you can certainly have more than enough.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to take over the world, i just want to know where i belong within it.  ’ ‘  ‘afraid’ is no way to live.  ’ ‘  you don’t know what you want and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.  ’ ‘  the past is in the rearview, the future holds no weight.  ’ ‘  are you free, or are you being borrowed?  ’ ‘  that’s not a problem, it’s only a pity.  ’ ‘  i’d like to let you know that boys cry too.  ’ ‘  however slight the change, we’re never the same as yesterday.  ’ ‘  yesterday was tough, but i woke up today.  ’ ‘  sometimes bad luck can be so beautiful.  ’ ‘  don’t be sorry, be better.  ’ ‘  nothing is easy; if it is, it ain’t worth it.  ’ ‘  it’s so hard to look around and not think to myself, ‘everything sucks here.’  ’ ‘  time to get your shit together.  ’ ‘  you don’t owe tomorrow shit.  ’ ‘  don’t be afraid of the darkness, for without it we wouldn’t be able to see the stars.  ’ ‘  if you love me, don’t.  ’ ‘  i’ve got to be me because no one else will.  ’ ‘  you’re mostly sunshine, i’m mostly rain.  ’ ‘  your feelings aren’t the problem, i just shouldn’t have been such an asshole.  ’

✰  —  —  *  PARKS & RECREATION SENTENCE STARTERS

‘  i tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and i broke everything.  ’ ‘  i typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems.  ’ ‘  there’s only one thing i hate more than lying: skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.  ’ ‘  don’t be such a baby. i cooked you some bacon for a trail snack.  ’ ‘  i really only listen to german death reggae and halloween sound effects records from the 1950s.  ’ ‘  whenever she asks me for the latin names of any of our plants, i just give her the names of rappers.  ’ ‘  i once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks.  ’ ‘  i didn’t actually sell my last car, i just forgot where i parked it.  ’ ‘  i don’t know who al gore is and at this point i’m too afraid to ask.  ’ ‘  when they say 2% milk, i don’t know what they other 98% is.  ’ ‘  i’ve only slept nine hours over the past four days so i’m right on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  ’ ‘  upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me.  ’ ‘  since i am not a rabbit, no, i do not want a salad.  ’ ‘  you’re like an angel with no wings.  ’ ‘  oh my god you have to stop using the word ‘nipple.’  ’ ‘  you’re right, i know. i have to be a grown up… but it’s so hard!  ’ ‘  i was reading an encyclopedia and i tripped or ‘fell over’ and hit my head. or ‘brain helmet.’  ’ ‘  oh my god, your boobs are dead.  ’ ‘  i have a medical condition, alright! it’s called caring too much and it’s incurable!  ’ ‘  he put all my records into this rectangle! the songs just play one right after the other! this is an excellent rectangle!  ’ ‘  if i keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, i will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.  ’ ‘  guys love it when you can show them you’re better than they are at something they love.  ’ ‘  jogging is the worst. i mean, i know it keeps you healthy, but god, at what cost?  ’ ‘  i have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life.  ’ ‘  i know this and i love you.  ’ ‘  that’s too much responsibility. i gotta find a way out of this.  ’ ‘  you are a wonderful person. your friendship means a lot to me and you look very beautiful.  ’ ‘  i was kind of getting sick of listening to them talk about their relationship, but then i remembered that alcohol existed.  ’ ‘  i got stung once and i’m immune. go ahead and sting me, bees! it does nothing!  ’ ‘  i’m not afraid of cops! i have no reason to be. i never break any laws, ever… because i’m deathly afraid of cops.  ’ ‘  i’m fine. it’s just that life is pointless and nothing matters and i’m always tired.  ’ ‘  there will be alcohol there, so i will go as well.  ’ ‘  i can’t go because i don’t want to.  ’ ‘  i’m just gonna stay angry, i find that relaxes me!  ’ ‘  i don’t want to seem overdramatic, but i don’t really care what happens here.  ’ ‘  i’m just gonna leave early and go home.  ’ ‘  if any of you need anything at all, too bad.  ’ ‘  you have never been neutral on anything in your life. you have an opinion on pockets.  ’ ‘  dance up on me!  ’ ‘  i have an idea, it’s very uncool. it’s not illegal, technically. but it is a dick move.  ’ ‘  one time my refrigerator stopped working. i didn’t know what to do. i just moved.  ’ ‘  you’re stupid and you’re drunk and you’re stupid.  ’ ‘  you don’t even know one thing. i didn’t even say one thing and then she asked me the whole thing and i didn’t even do it once.  ’ ‘  i’m like an elephant, okay? if i walk into a room, it’s like, ‘oh he’s in there.’  ’ ‘  bababooey.  ’ ‘  mac and cheese pizza?! you’re making that?!  ’ ‘  i was dying earlier today. and then i died. now i’m dead.  ’ ‘  the only thing i will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!  ’ ‘  i don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like 100 years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.  ’ ‘  i have been kind of tense lately. just thinking about the new star wars sequel.  ’ ‘  it does look sad. kind of. sorry for stepping on you, floor.  ’ ‘  if you rearrange the letters of peru, you can spell europe.  ’ ‘  you’re as guilty as you are sexy.  ’ ‘  this maze is like a maze.  ’ ‘  sometimes when i blow my nose, i get a boner. i don’t know why. it just happens.  ’ ‘  so i feel like you were mad at me yesterday and i don’t know why so i made a list of everything i did and i’m gonna try not to do any of them again.  ’ ‘  no, i’m not crying, okay? i’m allergic to jerks!  ’ ‘  i don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are… actually, it’s going to bug me if i don’t.  ’ ‘  with all due respect, you’re a major dick.  ’ ‘  the calzones… betrayed me?  ’ ‘  who hasn’t had gay thoughts?  ’ ‘  do you think a depressed person could make this? no!  ’ ‘  i like your energy. what do you say you and i ride go-karts later?  ’ ‘  three words: treat. yo. self.  ’ ‘  treat yo self. it’s the best day of the year!  ’ ‘  i’ll tell you what. here’s the deal. if you get fired, i’ll quit, and we’ll leave together. i’m serious! move to a new city, change our names… burn our fingertips off with acid… swap faces… if we have to.  ’ ‘  monsters don’t have souls? uh, have you seen monsters inc?  ’ ‘  i make my money the old fashioned way: i got run over by a lexus.  ’ ‘  i took this thing called ‘zapvigil’ which apparently is what israeli fighter pilots use to stay awake so… right now it looks like i’m talking to a giant crab. stay away from me crab!  ’ ‘  well, you suck at being polite, sir.  ’ ‘  at one point, for no reason, i just took off my shoes and held them in my hand.  ’ ‘  three, two, one, and my shift’s over… what the fuck is your problem?!  ’ ‘  math is worthless in real life. i mean, there’s an app for calculating tips. that’s all you need.  ’ ‘  your house isn’t haunted, you’re lonely.  ’ ‘  just because i can’t go out with him, someone else can? wow.  ’ ‘  oh, this is bad. i should not have done this.  ’ ‘  she’s the worst person i’ve ever met. i want to travel the world with her.  ’ ‘  no, no, no, no. i’m not lonely. i have me.  ’ ‘  i love watching russian traffic accidents on youtube while i play children’s music at the wrong rpm.  ’ ‘  god, i am so annoyed that he would hypothetically do that.  ’ ‘  you beautiful, rule-breaking moth.  ’ ‘  you beautiful, naive, sophisticated newborn baby.  ’ ‘  you beautiful tropical fish.  ’ ‘  hope no one minds if i livetweet this bitch!  ’ ‘  i just want to hear the doctor say that he had a fart attack. is that too much to ask?  ’ ‘  the only things i like are dogs and sleeping late.  ’ ‘  it kind of sucks that i’m super broke and i want to buy you stuff and it’s embarrassing that i can’t.  ’ ‘  i don’t want anything. i just want to hang out with you.  ’ ‘  you’ve killed my spirit. my spirit’s blood is on your hands.  ’ ‘  i hate people.  ’ ‘  you can see the stars, which i hate. they’re creepy.  ’ ‘  i will kill you slowly with a giant syringe.  ’ ‘  what? i love garbage.  ’ ‘  i only tell the truth when it makes me sound like i’m lying.  ’ ‘  i want to be burned at the stake.  ’ ‘  i’m going to murder you a thousand times.  ’ ‘  people who buy things are suckers.  ’ ‘  this is 100% certified for realskis.  ’ ‘  well, if there’s anyone who can bring my parents together, it’s no one. no one can ever bring them together.  ’ ‘  getting married is the bravest, most wonderful thing you can do because every day you come home and you’re just like, ‘what? it’s you! i love you! you’re my sexy roommate. we love each other.’  ’ ‘  i am 100% certain that i am 0% sure of what i’m going to do.  ’ ‘  my anxiety has kept me up for over 50 hours.  ’ ‘  maybe we should find the person who stole your positive attitude.  ’ ‘  scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born. i believe i am that human being.  ’ ‘  messy is fun, okay? my whole life is a giant mess and i love it.  ’ ‘  friendship is better because friends help you move. they drive you to the airport. boyfriends just… love you and marry you.  ’ ‘  i hope you brought a change of clothes cause your eyes are about to piss tears.  ’ ‘  everything hurts and i’m dying.  ’ ‘  i need you to text me every 30 seconds saying everything’s gonna be okay.  ’ ‘  let me just say, from the bottom of my heart: my bad.  ’ ‘  there are no consequences to my actions anymore. i’m like a white, male u.s. senator.  ’ ‘  hey, are you busy? and writing star trek fan fiction does not count.  ’ ‘  what do we…? like, what do we do? like, what do we do? um, how- how do we- how…? how… how… how? what do we do?!  ’ ‘  oh, also, i have a little secret… i’m drunk.  ’ ‘  i do say the cutest stuff.  ’ ‘  i don’t want to cause a panic… news flash: we’re screwed!  ’ ‘  velvet slippies, cashmere socks, velvet pants, cashmere turtle. i’m a cashmere-velvet candy cane.  ’ ‘  you shut your mouth! you have all the strengths!  ’ ‘  never half-ass two things. whole-ass one thing.  ’ ‘  i’m a simple man. i like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.  ’ ‘  i guess i kind of hate most things, but i never really seem to hate you.  ’ ‘  time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge. let’s go!  ’ ‘  i have no idea what i’m doing, but i know i’m doing it really, really well.  ’ ‘  ovaries before brovaries.  ’ ‘  sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot.  ’ ‘  i have never taken the high road, but i tell people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.  ’ ‘  just remember, every time you look up at the moon, i, too, will be looking at a moon. not the same moon, obviously. that’s impossible.  ’ ‘  i’m just gonna go live under a bridge and ask people riddles before they cross.  ’ ‘  i love games that turn people against each other.  ’ ‘  i don’t care about that prize, but i’m gonna win because i want his happiness to go away.  ’ ‘  that is the coolest sentence i have ever heard somebody talk.  ’ ‘  i wanted to make fun of stupid people while i get drunk. my two true passions.  ’ ‘  i am big enough to admit that i am often inspired by myself.  ’ ‘  if i could go back in time and cut your eyeballs out, i would.  ’

           NOW AT WEATHEREDWORN.   i will be transferring replies over to the new blog now that this one’s archived.   catch me   &   all of my babes over there!!

✰  —  —  —  EVEN MORE POPULAR TEXT POSTS STARTERS

‘  let me just make one thing clear… i have no clue what’s going on, ever, at any moment, at any point in time. who knows what’s going on? not me. not ever.  ’ ‘  i would just like to publicly announce that i have no idea what i am doing  ’ ‘  we came from the same star and we will come together again in the end  ’ ‘  i have a ‘why am i like this’ moment at least five times a day  ’ ‘  did i need it? no. did i buy it? yes.  ’ ‘  the most dangerous game is resting your eyes after you turned off the alarm clock in the morning  ’ ‘  petition for stars in the day time please???  ’ ‘  i love it when i wake up and stretch and something cracks. makes me feel like a glo-stick  ’ ‘  drop whatever you’re doing right now and climb a tree  ’ ‘  the most fucked up part of adult life is how you can just decide to do things  ’ ‘  i’m a person who wants to do lots of things trapped inside a body that wants to SLEEP at all times  ’ ‘  i’m so tired but i’ll probably be awake until 3 am for no reason  ’ ‘  time to kick my own ass. bitch had it coming for too long  ’ ‘  honestly ‘thanks i hate it’ is one of the funniest phrases in the english language  ’ ‘  do you ever wonder how many people have loved you and never told you?  ’ ‘  the internets one true talent is making me sick of things i’ve never seen or read or heard  ’ ‘  i’m permanently emotionally damaged but it’s chill, i’m chill  ’ ‘  all cracker barrels are dimensionally linked. you could walk into a cracker barrel in georgia and walk out of one in arkansas and feel nothing  ’ ‘  ‘you look different with makeup’????? you think i’m buying shit for hundreds of dollars to just keep looking like my ugly self … ok  ’ ‘  why did the fray go off so hard in ‘how to save a life’?  ’ ‘  anyone else bummed they have 2 sleep alone tonight and uh not in some1s arms  ’ ‘  not to be too controversial but i like it when people are nice   ’ ‘  the sun has no business tapping out at the tender hour of 5pm bitch i have depression  ’ ‘  i forgot how fucking weird november is theres no afternoon its just night after 2pm  ’ ‘  what time do you need me? i am unavailable whenever that time is  ’ ‘  look i may have made a few typos and committed a few murders but nobody’s perfect okay  ’ ‘  i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself  ’ ‘  i’m aiming for the “she’s a badass and cute as hell but i wouldn’t touch her without asking” look  ’ ‘  haha if you’re bored you could kiss me idk just sayin  ’ ‘  i see you’re paying attention to someone who is not me. why is that.  ’ ‘  80s music wont solve all my life’s problems but it certainly distracts me from them  ’ ‘  i cant believe what walkie talkies are called  ’ ‘  some people think life is like a rollercoaster but my life is more like one of those rides that spin really fast so you’re pinned to the wall and can’t do anything about it  ’ ‘  hey girl do you want to make a fragile human connection in the vast and unfeeling infinity of a chaotic universe  ’ ‘  all these fuckboys but who is the fuckfather  ’ ‘  i love drunk me but i don’t trust her  ’ ‘  do you have those people that you’d go anywhere with unconditionally, like they could say “lets go check out that dumpster” and you’d be like “im in”  ’ ‘  nah sorry i cant go out tonight, i have plans to spiral into uncontrollable anxiety starting in the early evening and ending at roughly 3 am  ’ ‘  me: queen of having had enough  ’ ‘  she needs a hug (i’m she)  ’ ‘  is it acceptable to start an essay with “listen here you little shit”?  ’ ‘  90% of my day is me being nervous  ’ ‘  cons: i’m an asshole. pros: i’m your asshole.  ’ ‘  give me 10 reasons why i shouldn’t just turn into a slug right now  ’ ‘  are we gonna fuckn hold hands tonight or what bitch  ’ ‘  dear soulmate, where the fuck are you  ’ ‘  i’m so easily revitalized by small, loving gestures  ’ ‘  i dont know what im feeling but there is a lot of it  ’ ‘  let’s be friends with benefits. the benefits? you get to be friends with me  ’ ‘  you ever just sit back and think like… yo… i really don’t care  ’ ‘  im surprised no one has ever punched me in the face  ’ ‘  what if mike was short for micycle  ’ ‘  hey fellow regular kids what’s up  ’ ‘  if u ever called me pretty i love you. ur pretty too  ’ ‘  do you ever just ‘there’s probably something medically wrong with me but i’m just gonna ignore it and hope i don’t die’?  ’ ‘  why did we stop building castles? i feel like humanity might live to regret that  ’ ‘  i’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace  ’ ‘  i am so glad you exist, even if you exist so far away from me  ’ ‘  i can hold a wet bar of soap better than a conversation  ’ ‘  she is beauty, she is grace, she got her feelings hurt 42 times today  ’ ‘  13 years of school and im still not sure if its ‘grey’ or ‘gray’  ’ ‘  hope u like bad girls because i’m bad at everything  ’ ‘  got a problem with me? kiss me on the lips dude  ’ ‘  too many songs about love. not enough songs about sword fights  ’ ‘  don’t talk to me or my 78 insecurities ever again  ’ ‘  i just did a tarot reading… it said ur a bitch  ’ ‘  a good substitute for love and fulfillment? a crunchwrap supreme from taco bell  ’ ‘  i fucked up? idk what you’re referring to but probably  ’ ‘  *in a high-pitched mocking voice* “are you okay?” what the fuck.  ’ ‘  how do u just….. not believe in aliens  ’ ‘  a coffee pot can be a coffee mug if you just don’t fucking care  ’ ‘  “you’re up early!” jokes on you i didn’t sleep at all and am in between energized and dying  ’ ‘  dont wanna sound like a slut but i really need a hug right now  ’ ‘  casual fan? no sorry i only know how to invest my whole livelihood into something and spend every waking moment thinking about said thing  ’ ‘  i have a dozen hearts swirling around my head irl like that isnt a filter its permanent  ’ ‘  i worry about you even when you say you’re fine  ’ ‘  i will never hurt you. i will always stick by your side. i will always try to make you smile  ’ ‘  true love: having to hold back your adorable, violent girlfriend to keep her from straight up murdering a dude  ’ ‘  cute date idea: be nice to me  ’ ‘  im so jealous of people who know what they want to do with their future i dont even know what t.v show to watch next  ’ ‘  me? clingy? yes please don’t leave me  ’ ‘  hey….,.,.. no offense but,,. i want someone to love and cherish me  ’ ‘  i need someone to lay in bed with me for hours  ’ ‘  dark hannah montana….. show me the worst of both worlds  ’ ‘  someone has to say it: come on eileen is a fucking banger like that shit snaps,, a bop for the century  ’ ‘  roses are red, i’m going to bed  ’ ‘  bless netflix for creating the skip intro button honestly  ’ ‘  they call me… 7 Knives. because that’s how many knives it takes me to cook things because i keep puttin em in the fuckin sink without thinking about it  ’ ‘  i wanna burry my face in someone’s chest right now til i fall asleep and wake up 4 hours later just to find i’m still in their arms  ’ ‘  the internet has ruined me honestly i’m numb to everything. it could be the end of the world and i’d be like “tag urself i’m the acid rain”  ’ ‘  lately i have been…….dying to be in love…,..and that’s the mood sadly  ’ ‘  not to be nsfw but i’d cry if someone kissed me on the cheek  ’ ‘  sexting? nah. i’m into spexting. spooky texting. ever seen a ghost? hmu.  ’ ‘  not to sound cocky as shit but i’m a fucking good person with a big heart and i deserve a lot more than the shitty hand life has dealt me this far  ’ ‘  i say i love you a lot because i do  ’ ‘  i’m sorry. i can’t come to the phone right now? why? oh. cause i hate talking on the phone please text me instead.  ’ ‘  low on self esteem, so u run on mac & cheese  ’ ‘  who’s gonna come lay with me in bed and let me wrap my legs and arms around u like a small bear  ’ ‘  youre a coward if youre not on the way to my house right now to give me a kiss  ’ ‘  my personality is like 90% the song i’m currently listening to  ’ ‘  the first step to any murder is to have fun and be yourself  ’ ‘  no offense @ life but can i have a breath.. a break… some slack…  ’ ‘  the best kind of alcohol is a lot  ’ ‘  911 i hate to be “that guy” but i glued myself to the ceiling again  ’ ‘  having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch  ’

*   —  —   VERY SERIOUS RIP VINE SENTENCE STARTERS

‘  when will you learn? when will you learn that your actionS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!  ’ ‘  can i get a waffle??? can i PLEASE get a waffle!!!  ’ ‘  go suck a dick, suck a dick suck a motherfucking dick  ’ ‘  you better stop! biTCH STOP  ’ ‘  do you ever like wake up and do something and you’re just like what the hec– fuck is goin on  ’ ‘  what’s good, brah you don’t know me! you don’t– WHAT IS GOOD! YOU DON’T KNOW! YOU DON’T KNOW ME! ’ ‘  it’s summer i got my hat on backwards and it’s time to fucking party  ’ ‘  anyone ever tell you you look like beyonce?  ’ ‘  I LOVE YOU, BITCH. I AIN’T EVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BITCH  ’ ‘  BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO YOU’LL BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH, I TELL YOU THAT  ’ ‘  and they were roommates!  ’ ‘  oh my god, they were roommates  ’ ‘  oh my god, i love chipotle chipotle is my liiiiife   ’ ‘  this bitch empty YEET!!!!  ’ ‘  WHERE ARE THOOOOOSE  ’ ‘  THEY ARE MY CROCS  ’ ‘  bitch disgusting  ’ ‘  yeaaah. yeAAAAAH.  ’ ‘  so no head?  ’ ‘  THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN’T FUCKING LOVE YOU!  ’ ‘  i’ll kill you. i’ll kill you. i’m not even worried about it.  ’ ‘  ahh, fuck. i can’t believe you’ve done this  ’ ‘  aHH STOP! i could’ve dropped my croissant!  ’ ‘  what’s up me and my boys are going to see uncle kracker  ’ ‘  give me my hat back, jordan!  ’ ‘  do you wanna go see uncle kracker or no!?  ’ ‘  i sneezed! oh, i’m not allowed to sneeze?!  ’ ‘  look at all those chickens  ’ ‘  i smell like beef  ’ ‘  i gotta go home cause i forgot to… vacuum my room  ’ ‘  actually, megan, i can’t sit anywhere. i have hemorrhoids.  ’ ‘  is there anything better than pussy? yes! a really good book  ’ ‘  mom, i’m peein on myself  ’ ‘  sorry, i’m on the toilet. i hope the ice cream don’t melt, bitch  ’ ‘  honestly i don’t remember, i was probably fucked up. yeah, i was crazy back then  ’ ‘  I WON’T HESITATE, BITCH!  ’ ‘  just shut up and die slowly, okay?  ’ ‘  two bros chillin in a hot tub five feet apart cause they’re not gay!  ’ ‘  mother trucker, dude! that hurt like a butt cheek on a stick!  ’ ‘  i said WHOEVER THREW THAT PAPER, YOUR MOMS A HO  ’ ‘  you remember one time i liked you? GOOD! cause it never happened  ’ ‘  if your name is junior and you’re really handsome, come on raise your hand  ’ ‘  i’M WASHIN ME AND MY CLOTHES, BITCH! I’M WASHING ME AND MY CLOTHES  ’ ‘  waddup i’m jared, i’m nineteen, and i never fucking learned how to read  ’ ‘  whAT THE FUCK IS UP, KYLE? NO WHAT’D YOU SAY? WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE! STEP THE FUCK UP KYLE  ’ ‘  oh my god why can’t you just take the fricken compliMENT  ’ ‘  is that a wEED? i’m callin the police!!!  ’ ‘  yo, drink this vodka down the hatch c’mon  ’ ‘  it is wednesday, my dudes. aaaaAAAAAAH  ’ ‘  there is only one thing worst than a rapist… a child!  ’ ‘  get to del taco, they got a new thing called fre shavocado  ’ ‘  *to the tune of ghostbusters* i’m an adult virgin  ’ ‘  hi my name is tre, i have a basketball game tomorrooooow  ’ ‘  babeyou’reafuckingbitchiwantyoutogetthefuckoutofmycarcauseiwannabreakupwithyou i fucking hate you   ’ ‘  todays forecast we can clearly see that somebody got me fucked up. FUCKED. UP.  ’ ‘  whAT’S UP FUCKERS  ’ ‘  FUCK YOU, THAT’S WHY  ’ ‘  he needs some milk!  ’ ‘  you are my dad. YOU’RE MY DAD! boogie woogie woogie  ’ ‘  yEAH NO SHIT, HONEY  ’ ‘  oooooh my boy going to prom. fuck it up! fuck it up! fuck it up!  ’ ‘  hey, how you doin? i’m doing just fine. i lied. i’m dying inside  ’ ‘  honey, you got a big storm comin  ’ ‘  i wanna fucking DIE  ’ ‘  road work ahead? uh yeah i sure hope it does  ’ ‘  the yo-yo master did not answer, he just kept on yo-ing  ’ ‘  welcome back to me screaming  ’ ‘  you know sometimes i think to myself what are you waiting for you dumb stupid fuuuuuuck!  ’ ‘  do you ever shut the fuck up?  ’

✰   —  —  —  THE GOOD PLACE SENTENCE STARTERS

‘  hi, guys! i’m broken.  ’ ‘  send nude pics of your heart to me.  ’ ‘  man, repressing your feelings is great.  ’ ‘  i just want to sit and stare at nothing and silently scream for the rest of time.  ’ ‘  birth is a curse and existence is a prison.  ’ ‘  it’s ancient history? it was happening until twenty seconds ago.  ’ ‘  one of the perks of living alone is that i get to just walk around naked.  ’ ‘  i’ll miss you too, you sexy skyscraper.  ’ ‘  you were already at almost-maximum hotness, but now you look like a sexy, tan rapunzel. ugh, the dream.  ’ ‘  well, hooking up with someone with the exact same name, it is kind of a fun, narcissistic fantasy… i could be into it.  ’ ‘  so far, i’m the best student. i’m gonna be the velociraptor.  ’ ‘  i feel like ‘friends’ in season eight, out of ideas and forcing joey and rachel together, even though it made no sense.  ’ ‘  i once got lost on an escalator, so i’m not exactly christopher columbus.  ’ ‘  we’ve been through this thousands of times. i mean, can you… just chill out? is that possible?  ’ ‘  you deserve to be happy because you are an impressive, thoughtful, and special person… not to mention, you have a rockin’ bod.  ’ ‘  any place or thing in the universe can be up to 104% perfect. that’s how we got beyonce.  ’ ‘  because of reasons. there are reasons! they exist and i don’t want to explain them right now.  ’ ‘  i’m a canyon… full of poo-poo.  ’ ‘  they are a couple and i am a third part of that couple.  ’ ‘  it’s suddenly very important that i get drunk.  ’ ‘  you got dreams in life? that’s lit.  ’ ‘  be nicer to yourself.  ’ ‘  how can i say no? …can i say no?  ’ ‘  i don’t have a house. i live in a boundless void.  ’ ‘  i have no idea what’s going on, but everyone is talking and i should too.  ’ ‘  be nicer to yourself.  ’ ‘  i’m too young to die and too old to eat off the kid’s menu. what a stupid age i am!  ’ ‘  is this a game? i go first. i call blue!  ’ ‘  aw, man. i wanted to push that button. not cool, dude.  ’ ‘  we know everything. i don’t understand much of it, but you know, i know it.  ’ ‘  that was my first time as a fashion ‘don’t’ and i did not care for it.  ’ ‘  i’m just a girl, towering over a boy, asking him to admit he loves me.  ’ ‘  hey there hot stuff, can i get you a cup of coffee?  ’ ‘  do you have any feelings like that for me again now?  ’ ‘  no, no, no, dude, dude, dude, you don’t have to explain yourself. we are on the same page.  ’ ‘  i am revved up to learn, man. my brain is horny!  ’ ‘  i used to think about how it’s weird they don’t make pants that are just one big pant leg for both your legs.  ’ ‘  i felt bad about what i did. it was a weird feeling. not used to it. didn’t love it.  ’ ‘  yeah, i love you. ugh, that’s embarrassing. i feel so itchy.  ’ ‘  go fork yourself, you mean giraffe.  ’ ‘  who needs a soulmate anyway? my soulmate will be… books.  ’ ‘  what do we do? panic? freak? i usually panic, but i am happy to freak!  ’ ‘  we’re gonna have assignments and quizzes and papers… it’s gonna be so much fun!  ’ ‘  i’m in a perfect utopia and i have a stomachache.  ’ ‘  i need to step outside for some air. and… i will not be back. for many days.  ’ ‘  the point is, you’re cool, dope, fresh, and smart-brained.  ’ ‘  yeah, dude. i’m not a monster… anymore.  ’ ‘  i’m good. just hang out with her and name constellations after each other or whatever it is nerds do. i’m fine on my own.  ’ ‘  i’m in this. we’re a team.  ’ ‘  she makes the bass drop… in my heart.  ’ ‘  is that some kind of nerd pick-up line? because it’s only kind of working.  ’ ‘  ugh, of course your hugs are amazing.  ’ ‘  okay, that’s really specific and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.  ’ ‘  yeah, mm-hmm, everything is fine, it’s okay, yeah. i’m fine. so, it’s all fine.  ’ ‘  look away! everybody look away. i’m going to keep watching, but you guys look away.  ’ ‘  ugh, talking about your feelings is the worst.  ’ ‘  i’ve been keeping a secret from you… about you. the thing is, it’s not even harming you and if i tell you i feel like it might harm you. so, uh, ethically speaking, i don’t think i have to tell you.  ’ ‘  has anyone ever told you what a drag you are?  ’ ‘  ‘bearer of bad news’? uh, i think you mean ‘bad news bear’.  ’ ‘  honestly, the best move is to get another dude and just go to town. rebound guy.  ’ ‘  but i am happy for them! i am! i am! am i? i am! i am not. i am not. i am not that. i am not happy for them.  ’ ‘  i totally get it. i mean, he’s a ding dong, but also a straight hottie.  ’ ‘  you want to hear his side? oh, no, no, no. that’ll only slow things down.  ’ ‘  no! right? no, it felt like a no when i was doing it.  ’ ‘  here’s the thing, i’m nice to you and you’re mean to me. there’s something wrong about that, but i can’t put my finger on it.  ’ ‘  how am i doing? oh, well, you know… stomach’s in knots, i’m stress-grinding my teeth, and it feels like i’m being suffocated.  ’ ‘  just shove your feelings way deep down, plaster on a smile, and pretend your having fun.  ’ ‘  just shove your feelings way deep down, plaster on a smile, and pretend your having fun… just like i do when someone starts talking about their kids.  ’ ‘  how do i put this delicately… it’s all stupid garbage!  ’ ‘  i’m sorry i dragged you into this.  ’ ‘  i’m sorry that i never did laundry… and that i waited until you were about to do yours and secretly tossed mine into the basket to trick you into doing it.  ’ ‘  that’s a very, very bad idea. don’t be yourself!  ’ ‘  great. yet again, it’s everyone against me because everyone except me is an idiot. why am i the only person who clearly sees what’s going on here?  ’

 ✰   —  —  —  BUZZFEED UNSOLVED SENTENCE STARTERS

‘  do you think we’re gonna die here tonight?  ’ ‘  it’s horrifying, chilling… just over all not good.  ’ ‘  should we just get this over with?  ’ ‘  he’s a fucking criminal.  ’ ‘  sharing is caring? meh, go fuck yourself.  ’ ‘  oh god, um… oh my god, i fucking hate this.  ’ ‘  stop banging on the door, you dick.  ’ ‘  what. the fuck. is wrong with you.  ’ ‘  i gotta be honest, this doesn’t really compel me very much.  ’ ‘  that was a joke that i made and then it formed your opinion on it.  ’ ‘  flip that switch. do you think that’s the murder switch?  ’ ‘  this is embarrassing. this is embarrassing for you, i think.  ’ ‘  no one’s ghost-proof.  ’ ‘  i’m ghost-proof.  ’ ‘  you’re not ghost-proof. you’re just an idiot who refuses to see proof.  ’ ‘  i’m ghost-proof, baby!  ’ ‘  that sounded like will smith!  ’ ‘  is will smith dead? has anyone checked the news?!  ’ ‘  the problem is if there’s something that attacks us down here, i’m going to hit my head on the ceiling and my skull will smash.  ’ ‘  alright, buddy. keep your wits about ya.  ’ ‘  let’s get the fuck out of here.  ’ ‘  i kind of just looked into places that would make me wanna die and i think this checks that box.  ’ ‘  did i just blind you? good, good, good. it’ll give you the vision.  ’ ‘  take a drink!  ’ ‘  i’m gonna get you all tanked.  ’ ‘  what do you expect? what insight are you trying to gather from here?  ’ ‘  maybe the noise is a little snake. can you imagine a little snake wrapped around a little pickaxe with a little hat on?  ’ ‘  i’m not trying to do that whole dismissive thing, but… i’m dismissing it.  ’ ‘  alright. alright, man. you just gotta chill.  ’ ‘  i thought ‘glory hole’ used to mean something very innocuous, though.  ’ ‘  it’s where the men fucked the earth hoping to impregnate it with gold.  ’ ‘  a bug flew up my nose.  ’ ‘  i think i’ve swallowed about six tablespoons of bugs at this point.  ’ ‘  it’s so silent aside from the bugs in my ears.  ’ ‘  a bat flew right behind you just now.  ’ ‘  that bat was straight-up going for your ass… it was an ass bat.  ’ ‘  dude, i’m so nervous.  ’ ‘  how can you be nervous with a beautiful sunset like that?  ’ ‘  there’s some pretty shitty things that have happened to people around here.  ’ ‘  can you even look at least a little bit worried?  ’ ‘  yeah, i’m fucking nervous, man. i feel like i’m gonna vomit.  ’ ‘  we’re all assholes here.  ’ ‘  i don’t know why i phrased it ‘lucky for us.’ i think i was feeling brave when i wrote this.  ’ ‘  yeah, this isn’t lucky for you at all.  ’ ‘  i’m gonna try and avoid saying ‘demon’ as much as i can.  ’ ‘  i’m not gonna let you goad me into this, i know what you’re trying to do.  ’ ‘  shut up. we’re moving on.  ’ ‘  you know what? i’m not trying to scare you, but… i got a bad feeling about this one.  ’ ‘  why are you unbuttoning your pants? we’re in public right now.  ’ ‘  oh… you’ve out-dumbed yourself.  ’ ‘  you know, i thought this was gonna be funny, but now i’m actually happy that i have it.  ’ ‘  i’m a whole other coin. just like a chill ass wheat-back penny.  ’ ‘  i’m doing it for the betterment of the science.  ’ ‘  any demons here? you got any demons out tonight? any horn-y boys or whatever they are.  ’ ‘  you may not like this… i’m gonna try to agitate it.  ’ ‘  you do what you gotta do and i’ll do what i gotta do.  ’ ‘  i’m just gonna be as crude as possible here.  ’ ‘  no, no, no. just right out of the gate. why build up?  ’ ‘  if you don’t believe then there’s nothing for you to be afraid of, right?  ’ ‘  you can be is big of a prick as you want, but i’m staying over here.  ’ ‘  if you want me off this bridge, you’re gonna have to kill me.  ’ ‘  nope! don’t loop me into your shit!  ’ ‘  stop looping me. i hate when you do this to me in demon places.  ’ ‘  i’m not part of his little charade.  ’ ‘  children will come here and tell tales about me.  ’ ‘  shut the fuck up – i’m gonna murder you.  ’ ‘  oh what a load of horse shit.  ’ ‘  oh, skip the theatrics and just go into it.  ’ ‘  if you want me off this bridge, you’re gonna have to throw me off.  ’ ‘  you gotta admit, that is an effective technique.  ’ ‘  no, it’s not an effective technique. it’s a way to get killed.  ’ ‘  that’s not how you get them, shut up.  ’ ‘  when’s the last time you ever walked into the dark woods?  ’ ‘  this is so much scarier than hunting fucking sasquatch.  ’ ‘  people usually feel overcome with emotion in here, like a violent emotion.  ’ ‘  give me a heads up if you start to feel murderous. i would appreciate that.  ’ ‘  by the way, these woods are also scary because of the people that might be in there.  ’ ‘  i mean, people are greater threats than demons or ghouls.  ’ ‘  i can’t fight, you can’t fight.  ’ ‘  you’re like one of those carwash floaty things that are out front just wiggling around.  ’ ‘  anyone doing up to no good out here?  ’ ‘  one of these times we’re gonna die.  ’ ‘  oh shit! there’s something over there. i don’t know what it is, but the bushes are moving.   ’ ‘  i just heard a scream.  ’ ‘  well, if we just make it seem like we’re in on it, like… we’re here for the cult stuff.  ’ ‘  we’re here for the cult stuff. we saw the ad on craigslist.  ’ ‘  it feels weird to even joke. i’m so fucking scared right now.  ’ ‘  oh sure they’d be hiding in the bushes. they’re cultists.  ’ ‘  i keep collecting spiderwebs on my face and now i’m just sort of immune to them. i’m just letting them accumulate.  ’ ‘  well, you are just a giant stick walking around.  ’ ‘  oh, this looks fun… an odd collection of branches. looks like a witch lair or something.  ’ ‘  hello? you can’t be doing occult stuff like this. it’s a weeknight.  ’ ‘  dude, wait. you’re fucking crazy.  ’ ‘  you need to chill. you need to chill out.  ’ ‘  hey man, it’s just a plant.  ’ ‘  we kicked goatman off the bridge, it’s ours now.  ’ ‘  goatman, are you out here in the woo– well, he’s out here in the woods ‘cause he’s not tending to his bridge.  ’ ‘  clearly. that’s why finders keepers and all that.  ’ ‘  hey, if there’s cultists out there… i gotta let you know, my pal has a water gun.  ’ ‘  i don’t like this, i don’t like this one bit.  ’ ‘  we are hearing noise from all sides at this point. it’s very blair witch.  ’ ‘  yeah, let’s leave.  ’ ‘  the name ‘steve’ doesn’t really strike fear into the heart.  ’ ‘  i’ll go along with this. fun gimmick.  ’ ‘  well demons, it’s been fun.  ’ ‘  as we snuff these candles so too do we snuff you from this mortal world, you fucking wimp.  ’ ‘  this bridge is officially mine. they’ll tell legends of me here.  ’ ‘  oh god, i feel like i’ve gone to the dark side.  ’ ‘  just gloat a little bit. this is a win for you.  ’

✰   —  —  —  STRANGER THINGS : THE GATE SENTENCE STARTERS

‘  i never gave up on you.  ’ ‘  i called you every night.  ’ ‘  what the hell is this? where have you been?  ’ ‘  let’s talk. alone.  ’ ‘  so i should be thanking you then?  ’ ‘  no, nothing about this is okay! nothing about this is okay!  ’ ‘  you stupid, disgusting, lying piece of shit!  ’ ‘  oh, you like these pearls?  ’ ‘  you’re a real lifesaver, you know that?  ’ ‘  how is this important right now?  ’ ‘  it’s not important. i’m sorry.  ’ ‘  you should go with him.  ’ ‘  no one’s leaving anyone.  ’ ‘  i may be a pretty shitty boyfriend, but turns out i’m actually a pretty damn good babysitter.  ’ ‘  turns out i’m a pretty damn good babysitter.  ’ ‘  just be careful, alright?  ’ ‘  i can’t lose you again.  ’ ‘  you won’t lose me.  ’ ‘  you promise?  ’ ‘  promise.  ’ ‘  so what, we’re just not gonna talk about it, huh?  ’ ‘  i’m just curious, you know, why all the sudden you look like some kind of mtv punk.  ’ ‘  i’m not mad, i just wanna know where you’ve been. that’s all.  ’ ‘  i… i shouldn’t have left.  ’ ‘  no, this isn’t on you. i should’ve been there.  ’ ‘  sometimes i feel like i’m just some kind of black hole or something.  ’ ‘  the blackhole got her. and somehow, i’ve just been scared, you know? i’ve just been scared that it’d take you too.  ’ ‘  i’m so sorry. for everything.  ’ ‘  i can be so… so… stupid. just really stupid.  ’ ‘  i don’t hate it, by the way.  ’ ‘  bitchin’.  ’ ‘  okay… sure. bitchin’.  ’ ‘  is this really necessary?  ’ ‘  this is a ground-breaking scientific discovery. we can’t just bury it like some common mammal, okay? it’s not a dog.  ’ ‘  okay, first of all, this is not some stupid sports game. and second, we’re not even in the game. we’re on the bench.   ’ ‘  right– so my point is… right, yeah.  ’ ‘  we’re on the bench so, uh, there’s nothing we can do.  ’ ‘  yeah, and then we all die!  ’ ‘  no, that’s not a point of view, man. that’s a fact.  ’ ‘  oh yeah? that’s a no.  ’ ‘  hey! hey! hey! this is not happening.  ’ ‘  no, no, no, no, no. no buts.  ’ ‘  i promised i’d keep you shitheads safe and that’s exactly what i plan on doing.  ’ ‘  we’re staying here. on the bench. and we’re waiting for the starting team to do their job.  ’ ‘  i said does everybody understand that? i need a yes.  ’ ‘  he can’t know i’m here. he’ll kill me. he’ll kill us.  ’ ‘  am i dreaming or is that you?  ’ ‘  yeah, it’s me. don’t cream your pants.  ’ ‘  what are you doing here, amigo?  ’ ‘  doesn’t ring a bell. sorry, buddy.  ’ ‘  you know, i don’t know, this whole situation here is giving me the heebie-jeebies.  ’ ‘  man, were you dropped too much as a child or what?  ’ ‘  i don’t know what you don’t understand about what i just said.  ’ ‘  looks like you got some fire in you after all!  ’ ‘  yes, kick his ass! murder that son of a bitch!  ’ ‘  you little shit, what did you do?  ’ ‘  are you sure this is a good idea?  ’ ‘  let’s kill this son of a bitch.  ’ ‘  it’s okay, you put up a good fight. he kicked your ass, but you put up a good fight.  ’ ‘  they were gonna leave you behind, but i promised you’d be cool, okay?  ’ ‘  everybody shut up! i’m trying to focus!  ’ ‘  what’s happening? it hurts!  ’ ‘  let me go!  ’ ‘  oh, no… you guys.   ’ ‘  hey, where do you think you’re going.  ’ ‘  what are you, deaf? hello!  ’ ‘  we are not going down there right now, i made myself clear!  ’ ‘  this ends right now!  ’ ‘  you’re upset, i get it.  ’ ‘  the bottom line is, a party member requires assistance and it is our duty to provide that assistance.  ’ ‘  i know you promised them that you’d keep us safe, so keep us safe.  ’ ‘  whoa, whoa, whoa. hey, hey, hey, hey! i don’t think so.  ’ ‘  any of you shits die down here, i’m getting the blame.  ’ ‘  got it, dipshit?  ’ ‘  from here on out, i’m leading the way.  ’ ‘  those suckers got you pretty good, huh?  ’ ‘  it’s not working. it’s not working! are you listening to me?  ’ ‘  you’re killing him!  ’ ‘  you remember me?  ’ ‘  that was a pretty douchey thing to do.  ’ ‘  you did good. you did so good.  ’ ‘  sometimes i impress even myself.  ’ ‘  what’s so important about one night?  ’ ‘  do you always have to be filming everything?  ’ ‘  you look so handsome!  ’ ‘  we should, you know, get out there… like, do our thing.  ’ ‘  yeah, i love it, but not as much as i love you.  ’ ‘  get out of my room!  ’ ‘  see? pretty.  ’ ‘  you don’t care.  ’ ‘  i don’t care.  ’ ‘  there you go. you’re learning, my friend.  ’ ‘  hey, come on. you look great, okay? you look great!  ’ ‘  you’re gonna go in there, look like a million bucks, and you’re gonna slay ‘em dead.  ’ ‘  yeah, uh… don’t do that, okay?  ’ ‘  holy shit! what happened to you?  ’ ‘  are you trying to ask me to dance, stalker?  ’ ‘  wanna dance?  ’ ‘  you’re my favorite.  ’ ‘  you’ve always been my favorite.  ’ ‘  girls this age are dumb.  ’ ‘  how are you holding up?  ’ ‘  yeah, that feeling never goes away.  ’ ‘  it is true what they say, you know. every day it does get a little easier.  ’

           NOW AT WEATHEREDWORN.   i will be transferring replies over to the new blog now that this one’s archived.   catch me   &   all of my babes over there!!

           NOW AT WEATHEREDWORN.   i will be transferring replies over to the new blog now that this one’s archived.   catch me   &   all of my babes over there!!

           NOW AT WEATHEREDWORN.   i will be transferring replies over to the new blog now that this one’s archived.   catch me   &   all of my babes over there!!

           NOW AT WEATHEREDWORN.   i will be transferring replies over to the new blog now that this one’s archived.   catch me   &   all of my babes over there!!

           NOW AT WEATHEREDWORN.   i will be transferring replies over to the new blog now that this one’s archived.   catch me   &   all of my babes over there!!

           NOW AT WEATHEREDWORN.   i will be transferring replies over to the new blog now that this one’s archived.   catch me   &   all of my babes over there!!

           NOW AT WEATHEREDWORN.   i will be transferring replies over to the new blog now that this one’s archived.   catch me   &   all of my babes over there!!

           NOW AT WEATHEREDWORN.   i will be transferring replies over to the new blog now that this one’s archived.   catch me   &   all of my babes over there!!