Our mission, besides downing as many "sundowners" as possible in a two hour period, was to spot some hippos, the last of the animals on our list still to be ticked off. And Smee can now say with some certainly that we were extremely successful on both counts. Smee found himself describing hippos as "rocks that move". They were massive, with the biggest jaws Smee's ever seen. Viewing hippos also reminded Smee of Sabi Sands Game Reserve, in that once a boat sighted them, they were soon surrounded by lots of other boats. Mission accomplished, we enjoyed dinner again on the Stanley Terrace, but tonight Smee choose something he was confident he could chew - a nice healthy chicken salad.

Back at the hotel we spent the afternoon veging out around the pool while being entertained by the antics of the local monkeys. At four o'clock it was time to board our little bus for the drive to the Zambezi River for our Sundowners Cruise.

Day 19: Victoria Falls Today, skimpy breakfasts became a thing of the past again as Smee hoed into the vast buffet on offer. Breaki over, it was time to walk it off (or try to) so we headed out, past all the hawkers and baboons, in search of the Falls. As Smee said yesterday, you could hear the roar of the water in the distance and today we learned, what we thought was distant smoke rising was actually the spray from the Falls (the locals refer to the Falls as "the smoke that roars"). We also quickly learned one was required to part with $30 US to enter the National Park, around exactly the same time we realised neither of us was carrying any cash. Thankfully, VISA came to the rescue and we soon through the turnstiles. And, as a side issue, that was interesting in itself. Prior to the trip we were told (from everyone) only $US were accepted here. Well, that's a load of shit. They take anything, even Aussie dollars and till receipts even have six or more different currency conversions listed on them. But meanwhile, back at the Falls. They are one of those sights that words simply cannot do justice. The chasm they plundered into was over three hundred feet deep and stretched for probably over a kilometre in length. So thick was the spray that you couldn't see from one end to the other - and this is the dry season???

Arrived at Vic Falls where we quickly realised we were in a third world country. Although the terminal building was brand new, the procedures in place to process arrivals was at best, archaic. All passengers were required to complete a visa survey, which was fair enough, but this could have been done on the plane. Thankfully we had a pen; if you didn't, you'd still be there. But, the worst however was yet to come, as the details of your visa application were then transferred by hand by the dude behind the counter onto your actual visa. It took forever, requiring this poor bastard to write our names (including middle name), our passport number, the date, point of issue, cost, nationally, receipt number, his name, his signature and more. All this, hand written onto a carbon pad, after which the original was removed and glued into your passport (and stamped of course). It was so, so slow and inefficient. It was such a comical sight Darl even took a photo of the whole debacle. Thankfully, being business class passengers, we were off the plane first, we had a pen in Darl's bag and so we escaped the customs mess with relatively ease. But, then it happened again, our progress ground to a halt - this time, when it came time to board our pre arranged ride to our hotel. Unbeknown to us, we were but one of five parties travelling into town with this ride. And where were the other four; yep, you guessed it, way back behind us caught up in the shit fight of Zimbabwean customs. Not to worry, after only a short wait of an hour and a half, we exited the airport in a lovely little minibus (which Smee thought was probably on its last trip) full of other restrained but obviously frustrated tourists. Victoria Falls Hotel, our accommodation for the last three nights of this wonderful holiday, was one impressive establishment. It was a trip back in time to the colonial era when the poms ruled the world. It oozed old world charm, the sort of stuff Darl just loves and at $450 a night US, Smee hoped she really, really loved it. Only trouble however, was that our room reminded Smee more of a tastefully presented broom closet. It was a tad on the cramped side, particularly in the bathroom. For example, for Smee to take a dump, he had to reverse his buttocks into the corner where the shitta sat, at a precise approach angle of 60 degrees. Failure to do so led to an unfortunate encounter with the corner of the vanity or the sharp end of the poo paper dispenser. Just before being seated, Smee then had to adjust his approach angle to near on perpendicular to the plane of the cistern, in order to ensure a graceful decent to the comfort of the bowl. Smee won't even mention here the process involved for wiping his buttocks, suffice to say that in a younger life he wished he'd been a gymnast. But all that didn't matter as Darl was happy. Once we'd settled into our broom closet we headed out to explore this grand hotel, which of course led Smee straight to a bar enjoying a beer. Unfortunately, we soon realised that here in Zimbabwe, we had become poor again. A beer and a gin and tonic set us back $10 US. Oh how Smee longed for a South African exchange rate, although he wasn't overly bothered as his good friend Ron was snoozing back in our broom closet. Drinks finished, we headed off for a walk down to the nearby Lookout Cafe to check out the Zambezi River. And shit wasn't it hot. But the view was amazing and even though you couldn't actually see "the Falls" from here, you could hear them roaring away in the distance. Dinner tonight was taken on the Stanley Terrace, overlooking the bridge spanning the Zambezi which was the border crossing between Zimbabwe and Zambia. Smee thought he'd try Kudu for something different and although it was really tasty, unfortunately it was as tough as nails. On the walk back to our room, that roar could be heard again quite clearly in the distance.

Day 18: Cape Town to Victoria Falls (Zimbabwe) Woke to particularly dark, threatening skies, before realising it was only 4am. Yep, that's the time we thought we should be up so as to catch our 7am flight to Jo'berg. Wandered down in the darkness to the nearest security gate where one of the nice attendants arranged a taxi for us. This was the second cab we have caught in South Africa and both made our cabs at home look like luxury limousines. Nevertheless, we made it to the airport, just in time for our flight, with but a mere two and a quarter hours to spare??

Arrived at Jo'berg around 9.30am and went in search of a Foreign Exchange to get some US dollars for Zimbabwe. Mission accomplished we headed for customs where our progress came to a grounding halt. There was one solitary person processing travellers with foreign passports. And Smee was pissed off too. No, not because of his usual impatience, but because he'd just learned we're flying business class to Vic Falls (a lovely surprise from Darl), which of course meant we had access to the business class lounge here. And here was Smee standing in a f.........n queue moving at a snails pace. Smee not happy. Anyway, moving on, Smee gave a knowing wave to the South African Club Lounge as we strode briskly past in search of our boarding gate before our plane flew away (holy shit it was a long walk too). For a change too, Smee was quite happy not to be the last person to board a flight. Smee loves business class. He doesn't think he could go back to the arse end of a plane again. Being an international flight, it also proved to be a "good" business class as well, ie. completely separate seats with a massage function that also reclined back so far you were lying flat in a bed. Our flight was only one hour and seventeen minutes (roughly), but when no one was looking, Smee even tested the bed out. As we neared Vic Falls, Smee toyed with the idea of asking the pilot if he would mind doing another lap, but thought better of the idea once Darl woke up.

The queue at the airport waiting to get through the customs. The bottom one is the entertainment for the hour and half it took us to get out of the airport

The hotel is very old colonial

Day 16: A Non Event Up at 7.30 for our nine o'clock boat ride to Robben Island. Sadly however, the weather was a tad on the shitty side again this morning, but worse than earlier in the week. Nevertheless, we presented ourselves at the appropriate jetty at the appropriate time, only to be offered a full refund as all tours today were cancelled. Quickly, like in a flash, Smee figured it was time to activate Plan B and then, just as quickly, realised we didn't have one. Nevertheless, we soon decided today would be a "museum" day. Smee was thrilled. Back on the hop on/off we headed for the Slave House Museum which, you guessed it, highlighted the history of slavery in South Africa. It was all very interesting, but we both found the displays a tad disjointed and lacking direction or any real impact. Still, it wasn't raining inside. Next stop was at the Cape Of Good Hope Fort. This was a huge complex, situated now right across the road from the railway station. While it did have what most good forts should, like moats, massively thick high walls and a nice assortment of cannon, again it didn't really do it for us. But, thankfully by now the rain had cleared some, so we decided to complete the "hop on/off loop" and return to the warmth of our apartment. Only problem was we froze along the way. The temperature had plummeted and to top it all off, Darl had left her favourite, take everywhere, wear everywhere, really warm favourite of all time coat in the back of Vince's car yesterday. Darl was cold in the bus Smee even had to hug her (another one for the team). By the time the "loop" finished it was nearing 5pm, so we decided to have an early dinner at the waterfront before heading home for an early evening to thaw out.

Day 15: Nice Wines Today we are off on a tour of the winelands with Vince, who is a friend of Andrew. The tour took us to the popular towns of Paarl, Franschloek and Stellenbosch, visiting three wineries, Fairview, Ricketey Bridge and Thelema, plus a chocolate factory. (specially for Darl) The winelands is a beautiful part of the world, full of pretty, green, manicured hills and valleys, all surrounded by some seriously spectacular mountain ranges. We arrived at our first winery, Fairview, shortly after nine and were well into our tasting by 9.30am. Smee was reminded very much of why he enjoys flying out of Sydney in the morning. Also, as Darl is loathed to over indulge, Smee, the gentleman that he is, took one for the team and downed most of her wines as well. (God bless her) Enjoyed a great lunch at the Tuk Tuk restaurant in Franschleok before visiting the Victor Verster Prison. This was the prison from which Nelson Mandela started his famous "Freedom March" in 1990, after bring moved from Robben Island. The drive back to Cape Town on the N2 took us past mile after mile of "townships". Their size was not only staggering but very sobering, and highlighted for Smee the inescapable gulf in South Africa between the rich and the poor.

Day 14: More Cape Town

This morning the weather was a tad shitty with lots of rain and low clouds. Table Mountain cable cars were definitely out of the question, so instead we settled for a sleep in and another skimpy breakfast.

Set out mid morning to take a hop on/off to Long St, which we thought yesterday warranted another look. Thankfully now the rain had cleared as we wandered through lots of back street markets and the like soaking up some of the real Cape Town, ie. the one that existed outside our little cocooned and artificial marina. It was during this walk however, that Smee realised Darl was experiencing something of a kudu fetish. She had a sudden craving to purchase another one - for herself.

So, only a short time later, Smee was the proud owner of his very own kudu when he boarded another hop on/off, this time for the Yellow Tour of the Downtown. This tour took us for a look at the effects of apartheid in an area of the city known as Section 6. Here, some sixty thousand blacks were forcefully up rooted and forced to live somewhere else, a place commonly referred to as a “township”. Section 6 is now an assortment of run down buildings and overgrown fields as the government soon abandoned any reconstruction efforts once the blacks were moved on. Up until now, we hadn’t seen many homeless in Cape Town, but we now knew where they’d been hiding.

Yellow Tour over, we then took my kudu on the Red Tour, which amongst other sights, took us to the base of the Table Mountain cable car ride. Even though the ride was closed due to strong winds and in spite of the intermittent cloud cover, we still managed to get some nice happy snaps of the city below. The remainder of the Red Tour followed the Atlantic coast, as did the Blue Tour yesterday, so Smee just sat back and pretended he was a seasoned Cape Town commuter.

Back at the waterfront we walked our newest kudu home, chilled out for a bit and then ventured out again for another lovely meal.

Day 13. Cape Town Commenced the day in our nice little apartment with a nice little breakfast for a change - a paltry offering of just cereal and coffee. Then it was off for the traditional hop on - hop off bus tour which we undertake in every new city we visit. The first bus along was doing the Blue Tour, which also happened to stop off at the world reknown Kirstenbosch Gardens. Apparently however, according to my gardening expert Darl, the gardens today were looking a bit tired, probably we thought due to the prolonged drought Cape Town was enduring. Then, quite quickly, we became a bit tired ourselves, no doubt due to the steep hills and the heat. Darl also learned the true meaning of a "tree top walk". She now understands it is a walk through the canopy rather than a leisurely stroll along a shady, tree lined avenue. Sadly, we had to climb half way up the base of Table Mountain for Darl to appreciate the subtle differences between each. Shit it was a hot climb. Next hop off was along the coast at Camps Beach. This was a beautiful little spot teaming with tourists, bars and eateries. This whole section of coast was stunning and Smee could best describe it as mix of the drive from Monaco to Nice and the very best parts of our own Great Ocean Road. Prior to the coast, we were in beautiful, hilly wine country and Smee would describe this bus tour as the best we have experienced. (And unlike New York, even the buses were clean and tidy). Back at the waterfront, we needed to return to our apartment immediately to drop off a present Darl bought at Camps Beach. It was a nice little metal replica of a kudu skull, complete of course with antlers. Well actually, it wasn't that little and Smee has visions of Darl going through customs in Sydney with a kudu antler protruding from within her suitcase. Also, the nice lady at the store reckons the whole piece was reborn from old car parts but Smee still can't determine the make of car, but is quietly confident it ain't a Holden. Champagne and a snooze over, it was time to head out again for more shopping and dinner, which we enjoyed along with a great view of the waterfront and Table Mountain.

The marina area where we are staying. Just beautiful

The view from our little jet as we neared Cape Town was beautiful and the surrounding mountains were very rugged and impressive in size. At the airport we experienced our first hiccup for our trip. The hire company Darl arranged to pick us up was a no show. Bastard. No worries though as we Aussies apparently say, as we were soon in the back of a cab scooting past opulent residences and shanty towns on the way to the downtown. The reason Darl arranged a lift was because we were staying at the "Marina", which was a complex of several waterfront apartments scattered around a network of canals. Naturally, the area was surrounded by electric fences and the like, and Darl wasn't sure who we had to met and where to access our key. Thankfully our cabbie knew which one of the three gates we were looking for and thus the whole process was simple and straight forward. He was tipped accordingly. And let Smee say, as Darl always does, her choice of accommodation once again proved to be excellent. Check in here was as elsewhere, except here we had to smile for the cameras, so our photo and passport ID could be sent to each of the three security gates - just in case on the off chance there may be some sort of unforeseen security problem. What a lovely touch Smee thought to himself. Once we'd settled into our 5 star joint, we were off to do some sight seeing along the waterfront. That was of course after we figured out how to operate the exit turnstile cage with our key card. Smee loves security. Once outside the Marina, it was a hive of activity of shops, markets, more shops, bars, shopping malls, restaurants etc. Had a great couple of hours wandering around before crashing out for a fairly early night.

Day 12: Nottens Bush Camp to Cape Town Enjoyed a great sleep in before our 9.30am departure for the Skukuzi Airport which was a half hour drive away. This airport was purpose built for the game reserves and if ever an airport could be described as cute, well this was the one. Boutique is another apt description. Everything was on a miniature scale - even the combo coffee shop, cafe, newsagent sold only seven magazines. Airport queues didn't exist here and Smee figured the public address system must be due to be installed soon. Soon we were in the air in a boutique looking little jet heading south for Cape Town.

Day 11. More Food and Safaris. On the road at the frightfully early hour of 6.30am. Even coffee and rusks couldn't diminish the shock Smee was feeling and after an hour or so Smee began to think the game were having a sleep in, as the bush was particularly quiet. That was of course, until we came across four rhino. Again, we were able to get incredibly close and Smee has noticed all the game here seems to be quite at home with human contact. Even impala and zebras hang around and check us out, whereas at Selati they were gone in an instance. We For our next treat we stumbled upon a herd of buffalo being stalked by a couple of lions. And then, in an instance we were reversing back up the track at break neck speed. Lion attack - no. Rather, Thomas had spotted some wild dogs running past way off in the distance and was hell bent on finding a way to catch them. At this stage no one else had spotted the dogs or even knew what was going on, but Thomas had and boy was he on a mission. Soon we were off the track charging through the bush, playing elephant with trees that got in our way and hoping like hell there were no fallen logs or tree trunks concealed in the long yellow grass. Within no time our paths crossed and we then followed the dogs down another track for several hundred metres or more. Now that things had calmed down, Thomas told us there were less than 500 left in SA and thus were rarely seen. And here we were following eleven of them down a bush track. We now understood why Thomas was so excited. Excitement over, we calmly returned to what we were doing, which was watching a couple of lions stalking a herd of buffalo. There were about fifty in the herd and they knew the lions were there, but sadly the buffalo bringing up the rear was limping badly and it was pretty obvious his days were numbered. As Thomas said, the lions may stalk them for days just waiting for the right moment. What next we thought? Well, we didn't have long to wait to find out. On the way back to camp, Kenneth spotted a leopard, which we were soon creeping alongside through the scrub. After a hundred metres or more the leopard tired of being followed and so climbed a tree where he collapsed in a comfortable position to clean himself and give us a look that suggested "what the heck are you looking at". What we were looking at was such an iconic African scene - a leopard in a tree. Back at the camp it was now time for a bite to eat. On offer for breakfast today were cereals, fresh fruit, stewed fruits, cheeses, freshly squeezed orange juice, breads, cold meats and so on. Then of course you ordered your hot breakfast. Breakfast over, we struggled back to our room with that mushroom feeling again, looking forward to a well earned snooze??? Snooze over it was now time for more food. Lunch today was very much more of the same of our previous meals - heaps of yummy food. Lunch finished we dragged ourselves back up into our safari truck and out for more game. This time we saw some giraffes, one with a calf that was all of a few weeks old, and then to top off a nice drive, a few elephants as well. Again, Smee thought these guys, compared to Selati elephants, "appeared" relatively tame. That said, we decided it best not to test this theory. Dinner tonight was another feast centred on BBQ buffalo steaks.

Sundowners tonight was very beautiful