Madikwe Hills

Outbound

30th October 2017

All our bag are packed, we’re ready to go, the taxi’s waiting - or rather an extremely envious mother (!) - Cos we’re leaving on a jet plane, don't know when we’ll be back again...!

My lovely mama took dad and I to the airport on a rather chilly late October afternoon - terminal 5 Heathrow. Loading our bags along with her furry children (Zola the Italian Greyhound and Lupin the blue and white Whippet) we moseyed on down the M4, rolled up the slipway towards the ‘drop off’ we hopped out with mum adopting the role of baggage handler, pushing our bags hurriedly out of the car (mainly because she was supremely jealous and would have loved to be unloading her own bags to join us) - Hugs and kisses goodbye, then more hugs and kisses, mum swept away down the slip way, with Zola hanging out if the window whilst dad and I strolled into departures.

Check ins all complete and a good few couple of hours to go until our flight - always better to arrive too early rather than too late...! We had a decent amount of time to burn and could take in the ‘Love Actually-esque’ scenes surrounding us in the airport.

The flight down to Johannesburg is long and tiring, drifting in and out of sleep and you can never get fully comfortable in those seats resulting in everyone being knackered by the end of it. Flying into Johannesburg however, was stunning - we had the sun rising on the horizon, or from my point of view the tip of the planes wing. With about 100 films completed and the consumption of over a thousand empty plane calories consumed we touched down.

We made our way through customs like cows going to market, we picked up our bags and were met by Alfred who works for Ilios travel and will be taking us by road to our first stop - Madikwe Hills Private Game Lodge. I tell Alfred I have been to SA before - bad idea - we were about an hour into the journey when we spied some antelope...

‘What’s that?’ Alfred asks me spying in his wing mirror that I have yet to succumb to tiredness of the flight... unlike my father! I have NO idea what type of Antelope it is Alfred! I barely know who I am! All my knowledge of antelope has completely evaporated from my brain. It was (of course) an Eland, the biggest breed of antelope with loosely curved horns. Right, that's it, google is getting the call up... not cheating... really!!

Off to South Africa and Tanzania!! Spike in tow for the first 10 days, then up to Arusha for the following 2 and a bit weeks!

Sanctuary Puku Ridge

Alec was my transfer man and guide (I use 'guide' in the loosest term here!) to take me to my next stop, Sanctuary Retreats Puku Ridge. The journey was meant to be a sort of game drive... It definitely wasn't, Ferrari Safari strikes again! Driving hell for leather over the bumpy tracks gave me flash backs of my late night transfer down the new road to Chindeni. Thankfully this time I could see a bit more with it being daylight. Game flew past us, for fear of they're own lives I would imagine with the speed we were going at. Up and down round bend after bend. We passed a heard of elephant by the river, giving them a fright and disturbing them from they're midday snooze. We eventually emerged out of the maze of tracks within the bush to open plains. Dead morpani trees dotted the landscape having succumbed to the needs of elephant chomping their way through them. Zebra appeared in the distance, along with herds of Impala silhouetted the horizon. Alec pointed out a group of buildings on the nearby hill, this was Chichele, another one of Sanctuary Retreats lodges. This used to be owned by one of the presidents of Zambia, so is quite grand for what used to be a Zambian styled house. Just below Chichele, on the other side of the hill lies Puku Ridge, a more rustic chique bush camp. The idea is that guests have a few nights at the hotel type luxury of Chichele and then hop over to Puku Ridge to experience something a bit more closer to the bush. As I said, Rustic chique is what I would describe Puku Ridge. The location of this underestimated camp is just amazing. You arrive above the main area and take a few flights of steps down where you can hear and then see a small flow of water creating a feature element at the front of the communal area. Baring right, you come to the bar and relaxing area, very spacious and beautiful. This all looks out onto its very own Savannah. Well, when the rains come, it transforms into a huge lagoon, come June/July the land takes a different turn; the bush grass dies back, the tamarin trees loose their leaves, and the pods become the equivalent of biscuits for elephants. The lagoon changes into a mini Savannah, teaming with wildlife. When I arrived it was beginning to turn. There were zebra, Impala and elephant all milling around in the distance. On some occasions Puku Ridge has had,elephant come and drink from the water feature at the front of the lodge. I was so hoping they would come and do that for me... They didn't. I was welcomed by the wonderful Evidence. Such a cool guy. He went though his welcoming shpeel and I was then shown my room. The furthest possible room on the camp, which I thought was a bit ridiculous considering there was only myself and one other guest in a 6 tented camp. I will admit, I didn't sleep very well that night because of this. There was a lot of creaking and squeaking in my room which made my imagination go wild, topped off with the alarm barks from baboon, lions roaring and hyena howling. Usually I don't mind these noises, but the fact I knew I was at the furthest point in camp, made me a tiny bit nervous. The room was beautiful though; stunning huge queen sized bed, adorned with the necessary mosquito net - my legs have taken a proper beating from these mozzies! An outside shower, a huge bath and a neat deck area equipped with a day bed. Bliss. I met back at 3.30 for a spot of tea on the extension deck of the main area. Beautifully laid out tea and cakes - I'm having to stay off the cakes at tea time as well as elevenses, I feel and most probably look like I have eaten another human being! I met Klaus, the only other guest. A lovely German guy, who had a serious passion for photography. I mean his camera was huge! He had extra rests that he could attach to the poles on the game truck so he could get more purchase to put his extra large camera on to snap a photo. Bit over the top if you ask me, but he there was no doubt about it, he really loved his photography. The game drive began, very sedate. We spotted a group of kudu just outside camp and then came across a group of baboon who were being very vocal and trying to impress a lone female. We then spotted the lilac breasted roller, Botswana's national bird. I finally managed to see why it is called a roller too. To attract a mate, the male bird circles higher and higher and higher, he then begins to free fall, at the very last minute opening his wings and rocking or rolling side to side to display the blue underside of his wings and his lilac chest. All to show off. The landscape around Puku Ridge is up there with my love for the area around Sausage Tree. It's beautiful. Not a huge fan of the close set thickets where you can't see anything, I know come August it would have mostly cleared, but it makes me feel claustrophobic. We then came across a male lion just waking up from snoozing under a bush. We watched him do his daily ablutions before he got up, stretched, and started wandering off towards the river. We followed him for a while, he had not a care in the world there was a vehicle following him. He was very chilled. Every couple of metres he would stop to mark his territory, he was doing the rounds of ensuring others knew this was his patch and no one else's. We then decided to leave him to his own business as he sauntered off into the distance. The sun was beginning to set when we reached the top of the Puku hill. In front of us were a giraffe and a couple of elephant browsing in the trees. We turned round a bend and there was the most wonderful sight. Lanterns adorned the edge of a clearing, along with a small table with delicious nibbles and an array of different types of drinks. To top it off there was already a pre poured glass of 'leopard juice' or champagne to you and I! Evidence called it leopard juice as it apparently gives you the ability to see leopard... I'll let you know if we did or not later...! It was such a gorgeous sight, with the sun just going down in the distance and the colours of the sky a mix of oranges, purples and pinks. Any minute now I was almost expecting Elton John to walk round the corner along with the cast of the lion king. I mean if I was going to have any complaints that would be the only thing, otherwise, hands down, this was the best sundowner I have had yet. After we had had a gossip about questions guides get from guests who have no clue about African wildlife - one being, do giraffe hunt in packs......? We climbed back into the truck and went out in search of night life. It's fair to say, Evidence had been telling the truth about leopard juice, because sure enough, 10 minutes into the drive we bumped into one as we turned a corner. A beautiful young female leopard, walking directly at us and straight past our vehicle. She was on a mission for food, so we watched her for a few more minutes until she vanished into the bush on the hunt. We arrived back at camp and in the distance could hear hyena howling. The one animal I so want to see, but haven't yet. Heard them plenty of times, but haven't laid eyes on one yet. Quick turn around in my room and then came back for a candle lit supper which was all laid out on the deck, under the Tamarin trees. For starters I had mushroom soup, main course was such a delicious beef and butternut puréed mash with vegetables wrapped in spinach leaves. Finishing off with cheese. Like honestly, I am the size of a house. I seem to be eating every 2 or 3 hours, it's getting far toooo much!!! Retiring to my far far away room after supper, I decided to have a bath in the huge tub. I got distracted and forgot to add cold water, so it got really full and there was no room to add cold. Damn. I couldn't even remove the plug because it was too hot! So I had this awesome full bath, equipped with bubbles and salts, but I couldn't get in it! God darn it! So I had to make do with a shower. As I said earlier, I didn't sleep too well that night. The room and my mind were playing tricks on me. Outside Lions were going nuts, hyena were practically in my room and the bloody baboons would not shut up! Ahem... Such first world problems. Well, actually it is when you're getting up at 5.30! Knock knock. Good morning. Excellent, tea had arrived! Night time terrors all forgotten about, I sat like lady muck in my queen sized bed drinking my roibus tea, watching the colours change outside as the sun began to emerge. Bags packed - again - I arrived on the main deck for breakfast with the sun just peeping its head above the trees in the distance. Stunningly presented breakfast, as always, granolas, continental ham and cheese, yoghurt and even peanut butter! Oh, and to top it off, just as I was saying my goodbyes, Evidence spotted a Hyena running off in the distance! I finally saw one, albeit from quite far away, but beggars can't be choosers. I met Levies who would be transferring me on a game drive to my next port of call, Robin Popes Tena Tena tented camp. It was a great drive over. Very fresh, I layered up and we saw all sorts of different animals. Ground hornbills, elephant, Impala, hippo, even coming across Hyena tracks. We then turned right handed down a smaller road and what should be lying slap bang in the middle of it, were a pack of 8 wild dog. Even better still, they weren't just lying around being inactive, they were properly playing. They're just typical dogs really, well obviously! Why would you expect anything less. But there's something quite cool about the painted dogs though. One of the bitches was clearly on heat as she was being palloidered relentlessly by a few of the dogs... She was definitely playing hard to get, the little tease! I genuinely cannot believe how lucky I have been with game viewing. Seriously spoilt. Some people come to Africa several times and barely see a giraffe, then there's me whose seen almost all the animals I have ever wanted to see. This kind of thing never happens and I am so happy I've totally lucked out!

Bilamungwe

Arriving at Bilamungwe was brilliant - we came across a lagoon in the process of drying up, then up a slight slope to where the whole of of the Bili team were there to great us. 'Welcome to Bili!' The loveliest lady on earth then stepped forward and introduced herself as Alex the manager. She had been managing Bili for the last 3 years and loved it so much, she hasn't been able to tear herself away. We walked up a few steps and into the open planned communal area where there were sofas, a bar, a tea bar in the centre of the room and a long dining table, all encircled around a huge tree. There was another smaller level below this with another table and a relaxation area all over looking a small pond and, bang in the middle was a hippo. Yup a hippo. Of course, it's Africa, why wouldn't there be! His name was Harry. I genuinely thought he was fake, like some cheap ornament you'd buy from Homebase to pop in your pond at home, but obviously remembering where I was, of course he wasn't fake. He had a bunch of Terrapins resting on his back which probably made me think he was an ornament, but no, he was the real thing! I settled into my room and had a couple of hours to soak up the sun and relax a bit. I was also able to have a good old goggle at Harry, who was thoroughly entertaining munching on his own 'all-you-can-eat' water lily plant bar. We went for a game drive in the evening and didn't come across much, a few Ellie's crossing the river in the distance. Oh woah, yes we did, we saw lion! How could I forget! Five huge lion lying in the evening sunlight. We stayed with them for a short while and then we heard an Impala barking nearby. This also alerted the lion, so we shot off to see what it was all about. Sure enough, we were able to catch the briefest of glances of a leopard slipping down from a tree and off into the thick shrub. With the lion nearby and the possibility of an almighty cat fight about to take place, we obviously stayed for a bit. Lion are incredibly territorial and have been known to even kill leopards if they are on their patch. Nothing happened, so we moved on. We stopped for sundowners by the river Luangwa and soaked up the scenery. A very quiet night drive followed, although I did have a really interesting evening afterwards... I joined in on a guides star gazing training session. We drove up to the local airstrip, so there was ample star viewing opportunity, and here I met Carol, a FGASA qualified teacher who had come up from South Africa to train the guides on stars. It was fascinating. I can now proudly say I know where the scorpion is, along with Antarius (the heart of the scorpion, easy to find as it glows red which means it is a dying star), Sirius - it's 'seriously' bright, Canus major, the false cross, the diamond cross, the Southern Cross along with the southern leads - Alpha something and Beta something. Just above the two 'false crosses' the coal spot, or coal sack, the jewellery box. Even (this is a new one!) the emu (basically the milkyway). The whole night sky tells a story and it's awesome. I also learnt that the speed of light is super fast (obvi) but in layman's terms it's like Orion shooting his arrow around the earth seven times in one second. Now that's fast. And the light that comes from stars is measured in light years. So when someone says that's 47 light years away... That's pretty goddarn far away. So when you take into account the speed in which light travels, it's almost mind blowing how huge our galaxy is. The difference between stars and planets is simple - stars twinkle and planets are a steady glow. In the Southern Hemisphere, Saturn emerges during the winter months and Jupiter is around now. It was absolutely fascinating. I'm writing this and I know I have forgotten half of the things she said, but it really is mind blowing knowing details of what is out there in our solar system. On return I had a bite to eat and went to bed, my head spinning with so much wonderful information. I was woken up at 5.30 again this morning, normal time for safari goers. It's slightly beginning to take its toll waking up at these early hours. Even though I am a lark, it's the travelling in between that's making me tired. I pootled down to breakfast on the side of the Luangwa river and even though I was feeling tired, these sunrises will always wake you up. It was beautiful. We set off on a game drive and found a few Ellie's. We then turned down a track and into a wee thicket and in the middle was an opening with a long table, a bar, a pizza oven along with a chef equipped in his whites as well as his chef hat standing behind a table adorned with all sorts of ingredients. We were making pizza... bush style! Talk about a takeaway, it was literally bush dominoes! From rolling out the dough, to adding whatever ingredient you wanted, to handing it over to the chef to pop in the oven. Not gonna lie, best pizza I have EVER had. Returning back to camp, I packed my bags and was off on a Ferrari Safari (not even joking!) to Sanctuary Retreats Puku Ridge. Bilimungwe was beautiful and I felt totally at home there, mainly made by the staff and Alex the manager making it just so.

Chindeni Camp - South Luangwa

So, this was one of the longest trips/transfers to a camp so far. Holy mother of myrtle I am knackered. I currently have either a hippo or elephant squelching around in the lagoon below my tent, such a comforting sound now I have eventually made it here. If it wasn't for my flight doing what it did, it would have been alright. Paxton met me off my flight and drove me through some of the local villages to Mfuwe lodge. This lodge is renowned for its famous huge reception area where elephant wander through to reach the mango trees as though they are one of the guests. I was then taken on THE longest game drive I have yet to be on. Plus it was more of a Ferrari safari, we were going like shit off a shovel! Mainly because they wanted to get me to Chindeni not too late. We took a short cut through a newly built road which had only been dug by the tractor, so totally virgin territory right here. Boy was it bumpy. If I wasn't self conscious enough about certain parts of my body, I definitely am now! The boys got me there eventually and I was so surprised the car was still in one piece. The whole of the Chindeni team were lined up to greet me with such a warm welcome. After the trip I'd just had, I almost felt like crying! I dropped my belongings off in my tent which is absolutely beautiful, even in the dark where you can't see much. They use Luci lamps which are these small solar powered lanterns, and they give off a pretty warm glow. In the middle of the night I woke with a start due to a hyena in the vicinity being incredibly vocal. Most likely after some scraps from the BBQ they'd had that evening. Morning wake up call came at 5.30, again I was so tired the guy who was my alarm clock gave me a such a fright I sort of yelled back at him - still in a sort of sleep stupor! Waking up at that time is worth it though. The sunrise was beautiful. The camp faces out onto a huge lagoon, home to many a hippo and crocodile. Like HUGE crocodile. The communal area was stunning, weaving its way around huge African ebony and mango trees raised over a part of the lagoon. I met two lovely dutch gentleman, a German couple and an Australian couple. Introductions all over and done with, we climbed aboard one of the trucks and headed off out into the bundu. The Dutchman made sure I sat in between them so they could protect me from anything dangerous that may attack... Well that's what they said! We found a spot to stop, all hopped out and started our walking safari. We saw nothing, but it was interesting none the less. Lone hippo crossed our paths, warthog running scarce off into the shrubs, more Impala. The night before, the Australian couple came face to face with an elephant on returning to their tent; climbing the stairs they turned round to see a pair of ears flapping wildly at them. Think both Ellie and people jumped out of their skin! We returned from our walk and had the most delicious brunch, before I had to nip off to the next camp; delicious coronation chicken, fresh salads, home made leak and - something I can't remember! - quiche, all down on the deck overlooking the lagoon. Just delicious. Just before I left, a huge croc emerged below the deck to show off his smile and and an Ellie came to the waters edge for a drink - obviously my leaving party. My bags were then loaded up onto the truck and I said my goodbyes and off we went, onto Bilamungwe.

Lusaka Airport

Returning to Lusaka I waited for a few hours before catching my next flight to Mfuwe. I was reunited with the lovely French couple I had met the night before and we climbed on board the same flight. All was going well, until 15 mins into the flight, the pilot announced we had to turn back due to an electrical fault on the plane. I was asleep and then suddenly I was woken by this announcement and obviously my stomach did a mini gymnastic display. We landed back at Lusaka, absolutely fine, but were followed by two fire engines and an ambulance when we hit the runway. Standard procedure apparently, but slightly nerve racking none the less! We didn't have to wait very long before everything was fixed and we hopped back on board the same plane. Yes, the very same plane that had had an electrical failure. Grrreat! Just coming into land now and I'm hoping my next stop, Chindeni, got the message as I couldn't get hold of them in Lusaka... Oh well, I may be camping under the stars tonight!

Anabezi - Last night on the Lower Zambezi

In the morning, I decided upon a more leisurely approach at Old Mondoro and decided against going on a game drive in the early hours. It did mean missing the classic comments from Lloyd being in his 83 year old element. I woke at 6am to the sound of lion roaring somewhere off in the distance. I'm becoming more accustomed to the sound of the bush, it's amazing. I now hear hippo and am like, ah hippos, almost as though it were a dove cooing outside my room! They say that for every 1km on the Zambezi, there are probably about 50 hippo... So there are a fair few about. Having a leisurely morning, wallowing like a hippo myself in the open air bath, I pottered up to the main area and had a cup of coffee. It was quite nice to have the camp to myself, really appreciating the layout and the stunning river view. It was also prime opportunity to have a real nose around and get a feel for the place. Michelle and Rhian joined me for a coffee when I eventually reached the main area. We had a chat about the camp, where they were before, what guests have been like, a bit of gossip here and there etc etc. It was nice, like sitting down with friends and having a good old chin wag! I then exchanged cards and jumped into a boat taking me for a short river cruise before ending up at my next and final stop on the lower Zambezi, Anabezi. We turned down a small river offshoot and were met by a pod of hippo and a smiling crocodile sliding into the water. Then Anabezi emerged through the trees. Built up above the now redundant water plains, Anabezi is a thoroughfare of rustic board walks interspersed with round tented rooms. John, my personal guide (getting far to used to this treatment...!) met me at the waters edge, collected my bags and drove the short distance up the slope to the main entrance of Anabezi. Most of these camps exude an almost Jurassic Park feel, with guides taking you back to your rooms after dark in case you were to encounter a rogue leopard or pride of unruly lions. Makes it all the more exciting! Handing me a refreshing welcome drink, which, colour wise, resembled a sunrise, I met Frank, one of the head managers and then Paul the owner. Paul was fab. His daughter Carly was the manager at Sausage Tree, so quite the family affair. We made plans of what to do later, I was shown to my room which was absolutely beautiful, round shaped tent with the bathroom in the middle, a large deck outside and plunge pool facing out towards the river. Round to the right, past the humungous triple king sized bed there was an outside shower. Like I said before, Anabezi is all connected by a long boardwalk stretching about 670 metres altogether, quite impressive. There are two main hearts to the camp; obviously the meet and greet area with sumptuous sofas, a pool and book case packed full of books mainly to do with Africa. There was the most magnificent painting of wild dog, buffalo and zebra stretching along one of the walls, it almost looked like you were looking out of a window onto the plains. The bar being the real centre, it curved its way round winter thorn trees leading you towards a series of tables and chairs for breakfast, lunch and supper. Paul joined me lunch and chatted me through everything Anabezi. Like Chiawa, Anabezi has a sister bush camp not too far away called Armanzi. Camp wise, Anabezi is relatively new, only really about four years old. There was an old run down camp in its place before hand but they basically started from scratch, moving four of the original tents from one side to the other and adding a few more on. After lunch I took the opportunity to catch up on some sunbathing! As well as writing this blog and reading through my homework (consisting of Proflight timetables and camps in South Africa, Botswana, Zambia and Mozambique ... And you thought it was all fun and games!!) At around 3.30 in the afternoon I met Frank for some afternoon tea on the deck; delicious homemade chocolate cake - I really shouldn't have, but I did - we were speaking about my trip here last year visiting zim at his home in the Mkushi farm block and he said that he knew of one of the farmers from around there. I mean this is Zambia, which is reasonably smallish, but talk about a small world. One of the sons from in the family he was referring to was in the year below me at university and we stayed with him for a few nights en route to Zims from Lusaka. The other family member works in Anabezi's reservation department. I mean, we could have got our wires totally crossed, but what a small world! I left on a game drive with John, hoping to find some lion that had been in the area the night before. Sadly we didn't come across any, but I was beginning to recognise certain areas of the drive from the night before. I could pick this guiding thing up pretty darn quick if you ask me! We did however, find a magnificent bull elephant just snoozing beneath a tree before we stopped for sundowners. He slowly turned around and started meandering toward our vehicle... Quick as a flash, John turned on the ignition as the elephant flapped his ears and began to run towards us... CHARGE! John noticed last minute that this elephant was in musth; glands leaking down the temples of his head, along with a strong unpleasant smell of urine. The great thing about this whole situation is that I got it all on camera! We had our sundowners on the most stunning stereotypical African plain. When the sun had dipped below the horizon, we set off in search of some big cats. Unfortunately we came across no big cats, but we found plenty of small cats - Genet being the choice of the evening. These are not really cats, having earlier said they are part of the cat family, they are actually a type of mongoose. You learn something new everyday hey! Paul joined me for supper as well, great to have some company when your travelling on your own. There was this lovely French honeymoon couple who were also staying at Anabezi having never been to Africa before. Both were from Paris and had gone to Warwick university. Returning to my bedroom, the Anabezi staff had left a delightful short story on my bed to read before I went to sleep. It was how the Dassie didn't have a tail - the lion being the King of the jungle decided to give every animal a choice of tail, but the Dassie was lazy and asked the vervet monkey to bring what was left over back for him. The monkey forgot until the last minute, but to teach the Dassie a lesson, they kept the small tail for themselves and attached the fluff on the end of there own. The lion thought he deserved nothing for being lazy and never gave him one, and that is why the Dassie has no tail. The surrounding area of Anabezi was incredibly noisy tonight. There were hippo EVERYWHERE and incredibly vocal. There was one seriously loud one right outside my tent, chomping away on the surrounding shrubs. I guess they would be the kind of guest you dread for a dinner party - eating loudly with they're mouths open and being far too vocal...! In the distance I could hear hyena beginning to howl - ooooowhip (I need to do the impression really, but it's a noise you wouldn't expect from this creature) Hyena are pretty cool to be honest, related to neither cat nor dog, they are unique. Had a delicious breakfast with my elephant friends who were meandering through the trees in the distance, then John took me on a canoe safari. Well, I started off on the Lower Zambezi in a canoe, only seems fitting I finish it in one too. We set off from camp and passed my breakfast companion crossing the stream in front of us. Cruising down the river, the current slowly taking us, I saw more Ellie, hippo and lots of crocs. These crocs were massive. Dinosaur central. I then packed my bags and bid my farewells and John was in charge of taking me to Jeki International Bush Airport. Oh, not before we casually passed a huge male lion en route... As you do.

Old Mondoro

Old Mondoro An hours boat drive down river we pulled up to a spot on the shore to be greeted by Marshall, one of the guides from Old Mondoro. We had to swing by Jeki 'international bush airport' to pick up some other guests who would also be staying. We passed elephant after elephant, waterbuck, tons of Impala and pulled up to a dirt track airstrip with 'duty free/check in/security' being a small shed on the side. Seeing the small prop plane come into land was very cool. Then it was like a Mary Poppins bag, endless people then merged out this tiny plane! Well, four altogether, not that many to be honest. One of which the guests was the legend that is Lloyd - 83 years of age and travelling with his son, David, on a once in a lifetime boys trip to Africa. Mosi in hand, these Aussies were in they're element. The drive to Old Mondoro was like a scene from the BBC's series 'Africa', there was wildlife everywhere. Guests are usually blown away by going straight into a game drive as soon as you leave the airport. We first came across Vulture feasting on a dead Impala (defeated by a stronger opponent) waterbuck herd everywhere you turned, same with Impala and Elephant grazing peacefully below winter thorn trees. The landscape over here totally different to that of Chiawa and Sausage tree. Hundreds upon hundreds of winter thorn stretched for miles upon what once was a flood plane for the lower Zambezi. With the introduction of the Kareba dam about 60 odd years ago, what once would have been vast water plains, have now been taken over by the wilderness. Winter thorn trees are the first to germinate in soil high in potassium, they cleanse the damaged ground to make it more fertile enabling other species of plant to eventually lay claim to the now nutritious ground. The winter thorn then die back themselves, they're job done. This time of year, the bush is still lush from the rains, but give it another months time and all of the ground bush die back, revealing the dusty earth. The winter thorn pods drop to the ground becoming effectively biscuits for the elephant. Soon the maze of winter thorn trunks will be inundated with thousands of wildlife. Old Mondoro is beautiful, four small 'match stick' type bush camps line the rivers edge in amongst the tree trunks. This is bliss. Effectively its old school safari style; small rooms with all the necessities from outdoor bath and shower to comfy day beds on a small private deck with a view of the river and bush surrounding you. You really are just a thin mosquito net away from the elements. There have even been instances where a meandering elephant casually dips its trunk into your morning bath, wandering onwards when the soap taste gets too much. Here you are really in the wild. Old Mondoro is named after a rare white lion years and years ago that used to inhabit this part of the Lower Zambezi. Talking to Rhian and Michelle, the two camp managers, there apparently used to be a pride of 47 lion around thirty or forty years back. I was sure they were winding me up, but no, there really was a pride that's big. Having settled into our rooms we returned to base camp to begin the evening and night drive. We stumbled across two bull elephant five minutes outside camp, the older bull having only a single trunk loosing the other to infection or the likes of. Impala after Impala, waterbuck and then a face off with a couple of warthog followed. Warthog are brilliant, the unlikely comedians of the bush, with their antennae like tails, trotting along on what clearly is a very important mission. We settled on an open plain below a baobab tree for sundowners. An elephant making himself scarce rushing back into the bush in the distance. Lloyd and his son David were in their element, especially Lloyd. Rosheen and her husband Ian were lovely also, true die hard experienced safari goers, it was interesting to see how they rated the different places and areas they have previously been to, being fans of the 'back to the bush' experience of Old Mondoro. As day turned to night, with the flick of the switch the bush came alive. The noises began to grow and was soon over taken by a bark from a baboon in the distance. This must mean one thing, they'd been spooked by something ... Hopefully a leopard! We followed the direction of baboon calls until we saw flash lights through the bush. Leopards are known as the 'ghost cat' as they disappear and reappear without anyone knowing where they've gone or are going to. Normally very quiet cats, we could definitely hear a 'yahowl' from within the bush. One side of the bush, nothing, other side... Nothing still. We manoeuvred the truck into a bumpy spot and saw her. Lying below a mound of earth directly in front of us. A young female leopard. She couldn't have cared less if we were there or not. We were with her for about 15 minutes or so then let her be so she could hunt for Impala - there are plenty about! We then continued on the night drive and came across a wild cat, literally exactly that, a small feline searching for mice in the bushes. We then spied a civet, a type of mongoose cross raccoon. She was hunting around for Beatles. These animals genuinely look like they've been stuck together: the front half of they're body is like a raccoon, with the black bandana markings over the eyes, halfway down their body the markings change and form into that of a cat. Very bizarre mix match of species pieced together. We then came across a Genet, another small feline species, with the most beautifully long elegant tail. Returning to camp we settled down round the fire and onto supper. Corn chowder followed by locally caught bream, finished off with pear soaked in red wine accompanied by home made cardamum ice cream. During the night you could hear all sorts; hippos laughing and in the distance the roar of lions.

Sausage Tree

Sausage tree. A Fifteen minute boat ride down stream I arrived at Sausage tree camp. Carly and Ryan were there to greet me off the boat. Leading myself up off the jetty onto a vast deck above the river I was introduced to Jason, the owner of Sausage Tree. We settled round the brae and the three of them talked me through the goings on in camp. At Sausage tree they assign you one guide to take you on every sort of safari; canoeing, walking or driving. Whereas at Chiawa they have different guides to give you a bit of variety. I personally like the Sausage tree way - especially when you have dreamy mcdreamerson guiding you...! So Ryan was my guide, all to myself - very spoiling. He definitely knew his stuff as well. Game wise we didn't see much, but the landscape was absolutely stunning. It looked like a movie set and almost fake it was just so beautiful. We went from winter thorn trees to mini Savannahs to the most stunning 'dambows'. A dambow is basically a pond or a lake (depending on size) that have been created by the run off of rain from land during the rainy season. They're more common now since the Kareba dam had been built meaning what used to be flood plains which have long since gone and small pop up watering holes have formed. This year Zambia have had double the amount of rain they've had in the past which has meant many of the dambows haven't dried up. Before we stopped for sundowners at one of the dambows we saw an Impala Buck defending his harem from a group of young ones. The Impala rutting season is long and lasts from March to November, so this scene we came across really painted a picture. Sundowners were bliss, it was basically a date to be honest - well in my head anyway! Beautiful dambow with the colours synonymous with the lower Zambezi: orange and lilac light setting behind a silhouette of trees and hills in the distance. A pod of hippo were becoming ever mod curious and one was slowly inching headway toward us. The colours changed to purples and blues and the stars began to emerge. The planet Jupiter being one of the brightest and first lights to appear in the sky, followed by Orion and his belt, chased by Scorpio on the west, the southern cross, North Star and last but by no means least the the milkyway becomes brighter. Gin and tonics finished, we ventured off into the night in search of game. Sadly we didn't come across much, but we found one huge chameleon! It rally shows the skill of a guide when there's nothing about and they can turn what could be reasonably dull into something fascinating. Quote unquote from Ryan 'I know everything...' And to be honest, when it came down to facts about the bush, he really did. Turning into camp there were hippo everywhere, emerging up and out of the water on to dry land. The story with hippos goes they were the last African animal to be made and ended up with all the offshoots the other animals didn't want: pink skin that burns so they have to stay in water during the day and can only come out at night. Supper was myself, Ryan and Jason, delicious food again. Wine was even better. We managed to make our way through a lot, and of course the jokes came out about the name of the camp. The fact they had just rebuilt the deck turned into how big the dick, ahem, I mean deck was (ha.....!) In all seriousness Sausage tree camp is named after the fig like fruit which hangs off the tree which is in actual fact shaped exactly like a sausage.... (Titter titter!) Three hours sleep later (we ended up enjoying a few more bottles of wine round the fire, listening to hippo laughing. Probably laughing at us and our silly sausage jokes!) Ryan and I went on a walking safari, but due to lack of game turned into a mighty long walk. Seriously interesting none the less and definitely a must do to clear a foggy head. Stunning scenery, Impala, baboon, we heard elephant rumbling close by but didn't see any. Ryan, again, was fascinating about every small detail of the bush, huge depth of knowledge. After the walk we came back and had a delicious breakfast of fresh fruit and home made granola with Zambian honey. We sat comfortably on sumptuous sofas on the deck facing out towards the river. You can never get bored with the lower Zambezi view. After breakfast Carly took me for a tour around camp and we met Jason over at their sister camp, Potato Bush. This is a slightly smaller camp and has a very different feel to Sausage tree. Potato Bush has a strong family sense about it, with the rooms and layout catering to either families or groups of friends needs. Don't get me wrong Potato Bush and Sausage tree both offer the same thing and are both stunningly well presented camps, Sausage Tree is just that little bit glamorous. For lunch we took a short boat trip up river to the most amazing setting for lunch. We turned a corner and there on a sandbank in the middle of the Zambezi was a beautifully set table beneath a canopy, a banquet of the most delicious food on a white table cloth. We hopped off the boat down a small set of portable steps into ankle deep water. Super cooling in the midday heat, we had 'McDonalds' bush style. This was the most up market McDonald's I'd ever had to say the least. Enjoying a glass of pimms, feet dangling ankle deep in the running water, this was pure heaven and definitely something seriously special. Sausage tree have it down to a big fat capital 'T'. They have, essentially, hospitality mice/elves who work quietly and extremely efficiently behind the scenes enabling lunches like this very one to happen. There's no song and dance about it, it just flows, seamlessly, which makes the experience one can only dream of become reality. In the distance there was a rumbling of a boat engine approaching and it was my time to leave the wonderful Sausage Tree people. I was (literally) scooped up and taken onwards. An hours boat ride down the river to Old Mondoro, Chiawa's bush camp sister. I was very sad to leave Sausage tree, from canoe trips, drives, fishing and walking safaris, this is one slick place, a proper one in a million.

Zambia - the Lower Zambezi and Chiawa Camp

I had no pre conception about what Kenya Airways was going to be like as an airline, I mean I'm used to the hap hazard easy jet, Ryanair or monarch, but you know you're onto a goo-dun when you ask for a glass of wine with your supper and instead of the measly one bottle per person, (with the bottle practically a shot of wine, usual form. I should have a tattoo on my forehead reading #drinksalot just for clarification!) Not Kenya Airways people, they were practically spraying the cabin with wine, excellent! These long haul flights can be seriously tiring; sandwiched in between two rather large men in the middle aisle, taking both arm rests, I felt like a proper sardine. The one gentleman on my left was adamant I needed things doing for me too - very sweet. Don't get me wrong, he was being totally charming but you kind of want to get into your own zone, organising your own things - even if I was looking like something similar to the lady in the van with bags and layers of coats drapped from practically every limb. Also, why couldn't he have been vaguely 'hunky'? Would have been more enjoyable. We seriously need to make some more 'real' movies, my expectations in life have been, so far, really not up to scratch quite frankly. Personally - mainly in my dreams - I will definitely be flying first class, business, premium - anything, anything other than cattle class. There's always a crying baby two or three rows away from you as well (🙄) 8 hours later and I land at Nairobi airport. Standing one behind the other in yet more queues like sheep at a market. Usually there's some wily lad amongst the throng of people - usually a Brit - that makes a farmyard noise, either cow, sheep or pig... This time it didn't happen, thank god, too much out of they're comfort zone probably. The smell of a foreign country is always different and exciting. The texture of the air strange and unfamiliar conjuring up a medley of memories from my time in Africa this time last year as well as stirring my imagination into gear, prepping me for the unexpected. The air is most definitely fresh for this time in the morning. Then the sun rises above JKIA and you feel the heat almost immediately hitting your skin, bliss. With a hop skip and a jump I climb into a smaller Kenyan airways plane onto my next destination, Lusaka. It's like playing with Russian dolls; I'm taking 3 flights in total, each plane getting smaller and smaller the further into Africa I go. Once I land in Lusaka I catch an internal flight to the Lower Zambezi. I land on the Royal Airstrip don't you know, makes me sound ever so grand...! Landing in Lusaka airport I not only had serious sense of de ja vous, having been here exactly the same time the year before, I was ever so sightly bereft. Feeling at a loss without my university friends who accompanied me the year before, this time I was on my own. Ever so slightly worried, my nerves were sated when I saw a sign with my name awaiting me. The gentleman that had greeted me went ahead and grabbed my hold luggage whilst I sorted out my visa, as well as accompanying me through the (small) terminal, even checking in my bags for the next flight without me having to lift a finger. Hopping onto a small prop plane in Lusaka, I was accompanied by only the pilot who gave a marvellous 'Welcome to Zambia' speech, his air stewardess, Maggie who was Australian and headed to a neighbouring camp, myself and finally the owner of Chiawa Camp, Grant. Well, spoilt doesn't even cover it. Grant made me feel welcome from the word go, telling myself and Maggie detail after detail about the environment we were flying over and flying into, Zambia as a country and the history of Chiawa camp. How he came to find himself running it after a brief stint in America, his parents felt he needed to take the reigns on the family business. Journeying down the Zambezi I had already had my fair share of excellent wildlife sightings; crocodile basking on the river shore, Impala, hippo, bird after beautiful bird, then came the money shot, two adolescent bull elephant chilling on the river bank. Arriving at Chiawa, I was greeted off the boat by what seemed to be the whole team. A cool drink with lychee to quench my thirst before I was whisked off to my room. My room was what can only be described as jaw dropping. Forget the king sized bed, how about godlike - a huge bed facing out towards a large deck area looking down into a dry river bed and onto the Zambezi. And, AND there were three bull elephant looking up at me from the river bed... I thought I was dreaming initially ... But on second thought this was clearly my pre organised welcoming party right?! Chiawa camp on the lower Zamabezi. I literally have no words to describe what a place this is. Not only has it the most beautiful panoramic views of the mighty Zambezi river, but is shadowed by some of the national parks dramatic hills. 'Chilapeta' which roughly translates as 'never again' in reference to how steep it is (naturally) and the mission it is to climb it. Quick turn around and I was off on a canoe safari. We travelled by boat back upstream, where we were met by our guides, settled into our canoes and headed off down a small river channel. It was stunning; Impala and baboon, bee eaters, duga boys (old buffalo who are usually found on their own) masses of elephant, even a family of 6 with two tiny babies crossing behind us. When the family had crossed, the tide mark of water was just above the adults elbows and the babies are obviously only small and had been completely submerged! Coming back into camp we stopped for a brief breather, change of clothes and I headed out on my own private night drive. For about an hour we saw and heard very little - the occasional baboon alarm and resident chirruping of crickets in the bush, but other than that all was quiet on the western front. Admittedly I was beginning to fall asleep, travelling in cattle class beginning to catch up with me and the gentle rocking motion of the vehicle making me sleepy. I asked to stop for a while and listen to the sounds of the night and look at the stars. It was on the subject of the coal spot, within the milkyway we suddenly heard it. That familiar deep booming echo that gets right under your skin, into your soul, it could only be lion. Who's King, who's King? Me, me, me... And we were off, racing through the bush in the direction of the roar. We came across a male and female lion lying on the side of the road. In the background there were a further 6 lion to complete the pride. The next minute, it all happened quite quick, the lioness disappeared behind our truck and I can only describe it as sounding like someone running hard into a wall was what we heard. The next second, with a flash of red tinted light from the spotter, the lioness had a small Impala between her teeth. We had just witnessed, or rather heard, a kill. Queue David Attenborough! The male lion rather ungraciously took the lionesses kill from her and had it all to himself, of course though, he's king of the jungle, he can do what he likes! We then saw a herd of elephant encircled around their babies protecting them from the encroaching lion pride. Luckily the lion weren't interested in the Ellie's, they were still on the hunt for Impala. Following this excitement, we arrived at bedrock, where a pop up bush camp dinner had emerged. Small bush bar, by a circle of chairs around a camp fire. Lanterns hung up, embedded within the Rock and the smells of supper being cooked below was just bliss. Barely stepping off the truck, about turn! A radio call came in to say a pack of wild dog were just round the corner. Back in the truck and off we went. Like the lion pride, the wild dog were hunting Impala. This small pack of 8 were giving it a go. They raced off into the bush after about 5 minutes which was our queue to return to supper. On return to camp after supper, I HAD to run myself a bath. Bath with a view and the most amazing soundtrack of the bush was a must. The following morning we met for breakfast on the river bank, watching the sun rise over the Zambezi. We went out in search of wild dog again, sure enough we found them within the first half an hour. After watching the pack play and eventually relax, we continued on our morning drive. Ellie's, Impala, waterbuck and even a heard of buffalo. We stopped for tea and coffee on the side of the Zambezi. I was quizzing Baoz, our guide, about stories he has from guiding for more than 18 years, one of his highlights being how he saved the day when a pride of lion interrupted sundowners on the river bank and he courageously crept, whilst the lion were still around, back to rescue the table and nibbles but most importantly the drinks! (He loves a good story!) Back to camp to pack up the remainder of my bits. Chiawa were then going to transport me via boat to the next camp, not before I had lunch though. Having packed all my belongings, and a brief tour around camp looking into their six river facing tented camps, their new family suite which is in the process of being built which will be pretty impressive. I arrived back at the jetty where a boat was waiting, with a small table and lunch prepared. I had a date with Grant (!) and had the most delicious steak with zucchini and new potatoes, accompanied with a bottle of bubbly. We drifted down the river and then I had to say bye and move on to my next stop. Sausage Tree.

Journey out - Heathrow to Lusaka via Nairobi

It’s while sitting at terminal 4 airport waiting for the details of my flight to pop up, sipping on a rather grown up cappuccino instead of the usual gin and tonic or glass of rose, that it suddenly dawned on me… I am now a fully fledged grown up. Or am I? On paper I very much am… Apparently! I’ve landed the job of my dreams, working for the stunning Luxury Safari Company, I’ve remembered my passport among other things and my bags on its way to the right plane - well hopefully on its way to the right plane anyway! And there’s me, sipping rather ‘elegantly’ on a hot cup of Italy’s finest. I can’t help feeling ever so slightly over whelmed with this realisation, I mean, it’s me! The girl whose more at home on a pony in a field in the middle of nowhere (*sigh, what a cliche!) is much more comfortable snuggled up on a sofa with a whippet or striding the hillsides of Wiltshire. But, here we are. I’m off on a business trip to the Southern Hemisphere (or there abouts…!) to familiarise myself with some of the best safari camps and lodges Zambia and Kenya have to offer. So, on with my grown up hat, pull up my big girl pants (m&s’s finest don’t you know!) hand over the boarding pass and hop on that plane.