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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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The most impressive communal shitpost I’ve yet seen from a linguistics Facebook group

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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if you have a twitter and aren’t following this man, you’re a fucking idiot

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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a ranking of crowley hair

1. eden, 4004 bc. it’s okay. he’s getting the hang of hair. not entirely sure what he wants to do with it yet. fun curls, kinda snakey. not bad, necessarily, but not quite there yet. 7/10

2. mesopotamia, 3004 bc. better! just look at those braids! still waiting for people to invent mirrors, i guess, or maybe just putting the braids wherever he feels like it when he’s bored. either way, it’s a good gay look. 9/10

3. golgotha, 22 ad. again, not much has changed. no more visible braids, but the hood! he’s adding to the drama! you really can’t go wrong with hood and long hair drama. 8/10

4. rome, 41 ad. NOW things are getting shaken up. gay and impulsively cut all his hair off. but it’s not good! please stop. extra points for the fun little crown. 2/10

5. the kingdom of wessex, 537 ad. no visible hair. 1/10 for helmet

6. the globe theatre, 1601. the hair? not bad. flowy. has good volume, good waves. the beard? noooooo. 4/10

7. paris, 1793. STOP. just STOP. mr crowley sir go back to your room and redo your hair this minute. 0/10

8. st. james’s park, 1862. he gets points for the top hat. and those sunglasses? iconic. but he gets minus so many points for the sideburns. 3/10

9. london, 1941. good hat, though it covers his hair, making it hard to judge. likely it’s just short and slicked back. not bad, but boring. 5/10

10. soho, 1967. i will admit, the more i look at it, the more this one looks kinda cute in a lesbian way. or maybe it’s the pathos of “you go too fast for me” he has to deal with that’s getting to me. whatever the case, 1967 crowley hair is doing okay. 7/10

11. demon disco dancing, 1970s. ahhhhhh. someone please make him shave. extra pity point for his dancing. 2/10

12. london, 2007. good, good, much improved. cute and ready to party. 9/10

13. nanny, 2012. he’s obviously putting in some real effort here. he knows what he thinks nannies should look like and he’s going hard for it. unfortunately what he thinks is a good nanny look is not entirely flattering on him, but he’s trying. 6/10 for effort

14. not nanny, 2012. okay now THIS. THIS is the pinnacle of crowley hair. just LOOK at that little half bun barely constrained by the hair tie. it’s cute! it’s fun! it’s flirty! peak hairstyle for trying to tempt your boyfriend into running his fingers through to pull it out of its confines.100/10

15. present day. well, he looks like david tennant. i mean he is david tennant, and this is david tennant’s actual hair, but there’s just something about this sort of sticky uppy hairstyle that is inextricable from doctor who for me. still, obviously it isn’t a bad look for him. 8/10

16. this one’s just sad and gay. 10/10 for somebody to love

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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Everything about this is comedic gold. Michael shouting, David calling himself an acting chameleon and saying “ffs”, then shouting back at Sheen and THEN Michael yelling about his own hair going blonde

PERFECT (x)

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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Wut

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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MBTI types as summer things☀︎

ENFJ: Feeling like you’ll turn to ash

ENFP: Not showering for days

ENTJ: When you want to enjoy peace in nature but some IDIOT is blasting music and screaming with their friends

ENTP: Going feral at 3 AM

ESFJ: Hot cars

ESFP: Sweating. Sweaty people.

ESTJ: B U G S E V E R Y W H E R E

ESTP: The sound of festivals and fireworks at 11 PM PLEASE JUST LET ME SLEEP

INFJ: Trying to lose weight but you end up gaining

INFP: Crying alone

INTJ: Not leaving the house for a week

INTP: Messed up sleep schedules

ISFJ: Hating your body

ISFP: Having nothing to do

ISTJ: Sleeping in until after noon

ISTP: The sun is a deadly lazer

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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“The republican party likes to cloak itself in the language of religion. Now, our party doesn’t talk about that as much, largely for a very good reason, which was because we are committed to the separation of church and state, and we stand for people of any religion and people of no religion. But, we should call out hypocrisy when we see it. And for a party that associates itself with Christianity, to say that it is okay to suggest that god would smile on the division of families at the hands of federal agents, that god would condone putting children in cages, has lost all claim to ever use religious language again.“

Pete Buttigieg at the Democratic Presidential Debate (6/27/2019)

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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This is the peak of internet culture

There is no argument, this scene is the best thing that infinity war has given us

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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Okay look. Stephanie Meyer contributed four (4) cool things to the contemporary fantasy genre, which I shall now list here in the hopes of getting it out of my system. In descending order of importance:

1. Writing a story about a girl who wants something. Plot driven by a woman’s (non-vilified) desire. Truly dreadful execution but still a good idea, sort of a literary incarnation of the “he a little confused but he got the spirit” meme.

2. The fact that when Bella becomes a vampire she can still breathe but “there’s no relief tied to the action” which I remember verbatim because it fucking slapped. The idea of human physical sensations being partially defined by our mortality and the sensations still exist after you become undead but your experience of them is fundamentally different because you no longer need any of it? Extremely cool. The closest Meyer came to taking an interesting stance on vampires being dead.

3. Werewolves are immortal but they can literally stop whenever they want. That shit’s hilarious. Curse of immortality who.

4. The fact that vampires don’t sleep or get tired so their communally-raised baby doesn’t have a crib because she is always in someone’s arms. That was extremely cute and there’s a different, better book contained somewhere in that specific concept.

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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captain hook: arrrg i miss vine. twas me fav’rit app

smee: but capn! there’s a new app! its not exactly the same but it’s very similar!

captain hook: what’s it called?

smee: um

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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You don’t have to fake orgasm to help your partner’s ego. The guy I lost my virginity to wrote a play about the experience, and the character based on me gave a monologue about how she regretted sleeping with him because no one else would ever be that good. So, yeah. Just tell him you didn’t cum.

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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The one thing I will never forget from Endgame is Tony Stark staring at Peter Parker like he was seeing the universe for the first time. Whatever else may have happened, he loved that kid until the end.

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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T'Challa: Shuri, my bright sister…! My most knowledgable sibling…! My-

Shuri: What meme do you want me to explain this time?

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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child handling for the childless nurse

My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old. Here’s my impressions so far:

Birth - 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal. Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.

Age 1 - 2: Hates you. Hates you so much. You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them. There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.

Age 3 - 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe. Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them. Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.

Age 6 - 10: Really cool, actually. I did not realize kids were this cool. Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn. Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”

Age 11 - 14: Extremely variable. Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other. At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult. Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers. (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)

Age 15 - 18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience. Treat as an adult who needs a little extra education with their care. Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there. At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they’ll probably think it’s funny. And they’ll want one. Deep down, everyone wants a sticker.

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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im gonna watch dr. who in chronological order by the time period they travel to

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sonofamusicman · 5 years

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Don’t you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play ‘Cause I got what you need, so come with me and take the ride It’ll take you to the other side The Greatest Showman (2017) dir. Michael Gracey

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