sojourneronearth
Jesus my King, Heaven my Home
Life: filled with beauty and sorrow. Bittersweet.
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Biblical womanhood
friendships could hinder or encourage our relationship with God
our friendships are to be characterised by love and purity and honor (like family)
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Genesis
Ge 2
our gender is fundamental to who we are - God created us different. Complementary.
Marriage is for relationship, for reproduction
we're all either showing God's commitment: for better or for worse OR devoting our entire life, not to a model.
Ge 4
If you're not serving/worshipping God, then you're serving/worshipping self
Cain's problem wasn't just that he sinned, but that he didn't come back to God who showed Him mercy.
Ge 5
Genealogy shows bible is a series of events. All connected. See where it ends
Ge 6-9
God is the most compassionate, loving, caring, being
Ge 11
where do I find I want to make a name for myself?
anything we do - if at it's heart doesn't bring glory to God, is an utter waste of time
Ja 4:13 If it's the Lord's will we will live and do this or that.
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Learnings from today's session
express how I feel
be non-accusatory when confronting
rather than assume at a hint. ASK: Do you want me to help you with that?
People with non-clarity may find it refreshing to have clarity. Not having to guess where they're at or how they're seen.
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By wanting to be independent & mature I may end up giving the message that I am quite the opposite. You want to understand what they're thinking and why they think it. Rather than immediately judging
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Lasagne, shooting stars, stretches, countries lived, bunk beds, sunshine breakfast, sand dunes, beach walk, spa, satellites, stuff happens, codenames, north campus
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Notes from The Secular Creed - Rebecca McLaughlin
Black lives matter. They do because all humans are created equal. For atheists/agnostics - the issue is, without God, their concern doesn't make sense.
Love is love (rather than God is love). Sexuality struggle is everyone's struggle, however it may look. The point is we submit it all to God
Women's rights are human's rights
Transgender women are women. Gender dysphoria is a true feeling, even if we don't agree with actions taken upon that feeling. It opens up women spaces to biological males, which is not women protecting.
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He loves you, because he loves you, because he loves you
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Some people walk in the rain. Others just get wet
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2 peter 1
Are there nice things you’ve picked up on the way which is slowing you down in the Christian life race??
Discipline is training. Not necessarily always punishment
“You can take those shoes away. I won’t need them anymore. Take away my phone. Messages I won’t be answering anymore”. She fixed her eyes on the future, shedding earthly things
In trials: hold onto Jesus
Persevere despite suffering vs Persevere in suffering
2 peter 2
Battle of our souls
Be known for what we stand for more than what we stand against
Isaiah 9:1-7
Bible is not just instruction and truths. Filled with prose, poetry, lamentations, stories. Feelings
Sometimes we need not only knowledge
Funeral
Let us not measure Gods attitude toward us by the amount of sadness and trials and pains. But by his work on the cross
Her life is reminding us life is short, focus on Jesus
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Takeaway from How to make small talk - Melissa Wadsworth
Stay positive and avoid complaining or offending
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The inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh thoughts or measure words. but pouring them all right out. Just as they are. Chaff and grain together. Certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them. Keep what is worth keeping and then with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.
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Notes on The serious business of small talk - Carol Fleming
“Light pleasant and safe verbal exchange that allows people the time and association to get a sense of each other before developing a deeper sense of relationship”
Small talk implies aimlessness. Where what is said is less important than the fact that we’re saying something to a particular person. “Small talk has a social emotional role, knitting a society together.”
Addressing social anxiety: when you walk into the room don’t think, here I am. Think there you are!
“Commrodery is first, the topic is second”
Small talk is like: on-ramp before motorway, jazz, volleying in tennis
“Small talk is in the realm of interruptions and distractions. Not of sustained immersion and concentration.”
Long story short
Put ball in their court, whether they want to listen
Listen for new information to latch onto. And give free info. Allow convo to go jazz. Till you both find something of mutual interest. Use specifics
Don’t start at a topic they can’t take. Find an anchor, similarity. Triangulate, talk bout neutral third things. Reveal and encourage. Fostering trust. Kind thing to do, help the other to find conversation
Small talk is for the purpose of opening conversation, testing waters, if person wants to continue convo, what their interest is
Find something you want to talk about, that you think another would be too
Job, work topic: Wow that sounds hard
Name tags on right hand side, large letter, pictures
Disagree agreeably
Don’t forget your flashlight-self consciousness
Make people feel warm and welcome. Eye contact
“Don’t let your need for warmth overtake the other persons need for respect and difference”. Warmth or respect. Friendliness or formality
Introducing people to others. Add something interesting about them. Majesty first
Finding the bridge between strangers
Female: appearance of equality, and downplay authority
Female and male differences. Pitch and rate of talk. Maybe due to excitedness. But consider audience. Not always highschool days
If you need to exit, let the other pick up your cue. Save face
The display of ourselves through the voice may be the primary reason for conversing.- violinistic John lock
Talking to kids: avoid comments that make it hard for them to respond. Talk out what baby would want to say
Commericals: mute and ask, what do you think is going to happen
Interviewing kids and writing answers and put in file
It’s a conversation, not a quiz
Talking to a stranger: no ties in past or future
Other resources
Conversationally speaking - Alan Garner
How to talk about practically anyone about practically anything - Barbara Walters
Fresh air - terry gross
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Notes on What every body is saying - Joe Navarro
You see but you do not observe - Sherlock Holmes
Observe your environment with all 5senses.
Consider context
Pick out Universal body language.
Recognise idiosyncratic non verbal behaviour.
Examine what’s baseline (normal) behaviour for them
Watch for multiple tells. In clusters. Or in succession.
Changes in behaviour can be more important than the behaviour itself. Due to emotion, intention, thoughts.
Detect false or misleading signals.
Recognise comfort or discomfort signals
subtly allows for natural reactions
Limbic brain cannot be cognitively regulated
Neo cortex part of brain is the part which has ability to be dishonest. So it’s not accurate
3Fs of non-verbals: Freeze, Flight and if necessary, Fight
Comfort/Discomfort. Pacifying behaviours is discomfort. Touching face, neck. Posture, hiding
Isopraxism
Gravity defying actions-positive feelings
Defence, protect, survival tactic
Detecting lies. Liars are uncomfortable because they’re trying to hide. When talking and observing, be aware of how you ask and respond. Cause that will affect how they respond
Discomfort signals. Or pacifying behaviour. Could be stress, could be lying
Truth telling-emphasising things, gravity defying gestures. More hand gestures, movement
Synchrony
Consider How you ask questions is important. Rather than making the other feel your discomfort in being careful with asking(empathising with my discomfort). Seek to make Them feel comfortable
Personal thoughts
If how we really feel is displayed and revealed through our nonverbal al behaviour. What does it mean for us to say things otherwise.
If something is telling me through non verbal they are not interested to continue the conversation. Should I still take their word for it if they express verbally otherwise?
Verbal language. And nonverbal language. Hear and see what is spoken and silent.
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When things that are too dangerous to say, sing.
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Notes from Reading People - Anne Bogel
accept and understand who you Actually are
There’s no good or bad personality
We’re all ambiverts
Strike your own balance with introversion and extroversion in your planning. Consider work, family, friends
Some things might not be important to you. But consider if it might be really important to someone you love.
Realise there are church introvert or extrovert personalities
HSPs need: clean space, noise. No people
Personality tests are like maps. They don’t get you to places. But gives you better idea of environment
David keirsey - I’m probably an idealist. Wanting to change others. So I end up correcting others out of love. But really, what things are actually Necessary to get 100% correct on
5 Love languages
love bank account
MBTI
answer Qs quickly. Gut level answer. Don’t overthink. True answer, not who you want to be, or learned to become. What I was like as a child.
Mbti isn’t an excuse to not do certain things.
Chapter 7: Understanding the 8 cognitive functions of mbti. Pattern of mental behaviour.
Introvert: directed inwardly, to the inner world. Extrovert: directed outwardly, to the external world. Not to do with sociability
Our personality types don’t change. We just grow in our minor weaker abilities. Dominant, auxiliary, tertiary, inferior
It’s about the functions, and what order
Clifton's strength online talent assessment
for one person, reading might be a helpful way for them to build on their strengths. But for another, not really
Enneagram
Type is based mainly on Motivations. Helps us see junk. And better manage it. Each personality type is seeing the world through different glasses. Pros and cons
Awareness. Acceptance. Action. Adherence. Appreciation - Dr Daniels
Emotionally intelligent couples understand the negative stuff is the fact of life in any relationship. Most marital arguments aren’t solvable because most disagreements are rooted in fundamental differences of lifestyle personality or values. We grow in our relationships by reconciling our differences , not by fixing them - John Gorman
Our personality types don’t determine our life, but inform it
If personality is the lens I look at life through-with awareness of own personality I can look at the glasses, not just through them. And also see how others looks through their lens
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Notes from Elements of Wit - Benjamin Errett
Wit: spontaneous creativity
Investigating a joke is like observing a snowflake under the microscope. By the time you look at it it’s just a puddle of water
Dissecting a joke is like dissecting a frog. The frog is dissected but nobody laughs
Effort kills wit
be a magpie not a parrot : intelligent, recognise own reflection, mourn for comrads . Shiny words collecting
Communication with compassion. Ask a Q, not to stump them. but share your story so they’re not alone. Or share yours in reciprocity
How you choose to live your life is different to how I choose to live my life. And that’s interesting. Nobody’s life is boring.
Twitter is a simple service for smart people, facebook is a smart service for simple people
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