softbastard
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nico | she/they | 23 |
i am soooooooooooooo normal
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"two bodyguards drag me away" has been my fav way to finish insane sentences, its up there with "who said that", "can anyone hear me", "is this thing on" and "its so dark in here"
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do you think you’d actually notice if someone didn’t cast a shadow? or if their limbs were just slightly too long? or if they had just a little too many teeth? like how many times have you passed Something on the street and you just didn’t Notice It
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3ds games be like “remember to take breaks”
remember to eat my ass, bitch i only been playin for 6 hours
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"hey, bobby, ginger's kid came out to her as non-binerary! can you believe it?"
"non-binary."
"huh? wha? what'd i say?"
"you said 'non-binerary.' the word is non-binary."
"right. non-byrony."
"oh my god"
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the most infuriating thing about personal growth is that even if someone else did have the answer you needed and conveyed it to you in a precise and effective matter, it won't make sense until you're ready for it. you could hear it every day of your life and it wouldn't matter a fucking bit until it finally clicks. there's very little you can do to influence when that happens, either
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I was at a Halloween party a friend was hosting the other week, and he was baking some truly excellent dishes. He pulled something out of the oven and said (something to the effect of) "Do NOT touch this dish. It just came out of the oven and will burn you into next Sunday."
Other friend responded something like, "Oh cool, a dish that causes time-travel," and I responded, "Well yeah. You hold on to the super hot dish and it makes you travel forward through time at a rate of 1 second per second."
This. It turns out. Was a critical error on my part. Because another friend turned to me real wide-eyed and asked, "Was that a reference?" and I was like "What?" and he was like "Homestuck," and I was like "What?"
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The Addams Family // New Neighbors Meet the Addams Family
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the thing about supernatural is that, if it were real, hunting as a subculture would have a lot in common with biker and cowboy culture. it already does, aesthetically and as a lifestyle. and that means that it would be full of gay men, or at least gay sex. if supernatural were accurate men would’ve been cruising day and night at Ellen’s roadhouse and Bobby/Rufus would’ve been real. unfortunately no one involved in this goddamn show except maybe late-stage Misha Collins understood that they were making a show about queer masculinity’s place within the American gothic. tragic. many such cases.
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[forgetting how to say “yanking your chain”] i’m only jerking you off
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Tolkien is having his first ever egg. It’s. Not going well.
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