Made the worst brownies ever created just now

Look at this goofy fucker pretending to be a writer. GET OUTTA HERE

A young man comes to the confessional: "Forgive me father, I have sinned. I was with a woman of dubious morals." 

The pastor asks, "Is that you, Jimmy?" "Yes, it is I, father." "And who was this woman you talk about?" "I can't tell you that, father. I wouldn't want to sully her name." "I'll find out sooner or later, so it doesn't matter if you tell me now. Was it that girl Kathy Miller?" "I mustn't say." "It was Mary Smith, wasn't it?" "I am not telling." "Sally Rogers?" "I will be silent as a grave." "How about Betty Teller, then?" "Father, do not ask, I won't betray her." "Then it must have been Peggy Jones?" "Please, father, I vowed to remain silent." The priest sighs reluctantly. "You truly are determined, Jimmy. I almost have to admire you. But you have sinned and you have to do penance for it. You are not allowed to show your face in this church for three weeks! Now go in peace." Jimmy returns to his bench where his best friend greets him. "Well, how was it?" "Great!" "What did you get?" "Three weeks of vacation and five good tips."

“Remember, if you die in the simulation-” “Yeah, yeah, we know, you die in real life.” “What? No! You need to reset the simulation with this terminal! What is WRONG with you humans?!”

Underground memorials. A fear submitted by Catherine to deepdarkfears.com/submit - thanks!

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