Last Seen Blogs
jinrock1117
本当の幸せと地球に生きる意味を求めて
nawarh
نَوّارهٌ
frabjousmomerath
And we shall have a magnificent garden party...
strategicmind-blog
insight
the-squeege
funny man hell
Conversation
east coast blogger: today i murdered a rat with my own crystalized rage and hatred
west coast blogger: this beach is so relaxing my body melted right into the sand
midwest blogger: o Lords of corn, what sins have we committed for the weather to punish us so
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I remember when I thought people in their 20’s were adults. Now all of my friends are in their 20’s and everybody is just kind of fumbling around bumping into each other, trying to figure out where the free food is
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2015 WHAT ARE THOOOOSE: negative, judgmental, unsupportive
2016 DAMN DANIEL: positive, supportive, uplifting
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church
priest: *opens bag of communion bread*
16 ducks in a trenchcoat: *shuffle excitedly*
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I want a show where either
Gordon Ramsey has to sing for Simon Cowell and then Simon has to cook for Ramsey and they both just criticize each other.
Or
A contestant has to cook for Ramsey and then sing for Simon. You win if you can survive the psychological damage
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i really love our generation’s joke trend of like, very calm but incredibly inflated hyperbole. like nobody says “oh she’s pretty” anymore we say “i would willingly let her murder me” and everyone is just like “lol same”
i think “same” is also great and “me,” i love when somebody reblogs a picture of like, a lizard, and just says “me” and we all know exactly what they mean. the current online Humor Discourse is remarkable because we trade exclusively in metaphors and implications and nobody ever, ever says anything outright and yet EVERYBODY understands each other perfectly
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ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS
YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING
NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED
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i feel like mr. brightside is one of those songs you’re gonna hear on the radio in the car 20 years from now after not hearing it in forever and your gonna just start sobbing bUT ITS JUST THE PRICE I PAY DESTINY IS CALLLLINGNG M E and your kids are gonna be like is she okay
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[softly, but with a lot of feeling] what the fuck
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It’s 2015. If doctors don’t know how to operate on fat bodies. Then they shouldn’t be doctors. We have enough resources an equipment to deal with “obese” patients. There is no need for the medical community to continue fat shaming.
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I can honestly say i’ve never seen a more entertaining ladle.
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open rp
boy am i hungry for a krabby patty
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Respect to this soldier, he’s basically just put his middle finger up to these bigots.
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WEVE BEEN SMECKLEDORFED
THATS NOT EVEN A WORD AND I AGREE WITH YA
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