Matcha lattes, bullet journal, and tarot cards 🔮

11.04.18 11.42am Started the day with pharmacology and MSK. I have a lab and two lectures today then I’m off to the library for more study before an MSK tutorial tonight.

Spent all weekend prepping for and writing my essay - I even went to Starbucks for extra productivity! ☕️🍂 I posted a vlog of all my studying, so if you’d like you can watch it here 📖✍🏼

Rainy Friday studying at home

ig: annanasnas

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Lots of readings this semester, but I guess that’s what to expect at this level. I’ll try my best so I don’t get overwhelmed!

“Note to self: Every time you were convinced you couldn’t go on — you did.” via little-miss-tragedy

reason to recover #3

my bones. two of the girls in treatment with me currently have broken bones and they did nothing out of the ordinary to break them. I want my bone density to be at it’s best so that I don’t develop osteoporosis or have easy breaks. now is the time where I have to nourish my bones for the future. 

today’s reason to recover:

having a free mind so you get to actually focus on school and improve your grades

Small things that are worth living for

-The stars

-The smell after it rains

-Your favorite characters

-Nice music

-Baby animals

-The smell of coffee

- The feeling of vibrations in the floor when the music is really loud

-Someone laughing at a joke you made

-Warm sweaters

-Reading a good book

-Feeling confident in a cute outfit

-Your favorite tea

-Recovery

4

One day your arms won’t hurt and you’ll ask yourself “why did I ever do that?” But it’s ok we all make mistakes it’s how we learn

Reasons to recover #2

Finally being able to FEEL again. Real joy, anger, excitement, fear, sadness and everything in between instead of emotional numbness all day every day. 

Negative emotions suck, but how else could you distinguish joy? 

It’s worth it. 

Reasons to recover #3

Releasing your family, friends and significant other from their constant fear and stress for your health and life. 

in recovery (as in life) hardships come and go! i’m so proud of you for waking up today, i hope you’ve remembered to nourish and hydrate your body because it’s precious and worth taking care of! recovery is so many amazing things but most importantly it’s always worth it. my dear princes and princesses, i love you so much xx

recovery is the calm after the storm when you aren’t sure if it’s going to rain again when you’re still anticipating impending destruction  it is the stillness in the air that almost feels wrong it is the quiet that sounds deafening because of the loud you’ve gotten used to it is a foreign peace  because you’ve gotten used to  everything being in chaos  it is the sun shining even when everything around you is still in shambles and it feels so out of place and it’s almost as if it wasn’t meant to be but it was recovery is a new beginning not an ending 

30/30 (cc, 2018)

I may not love myself but I respect who I am and how much it took me to become this person that I am today and this is a start

RF

This. Is. Amazing

A letter.

I just want you to know that it’s not too late. maybe you were a straight a student but now you’re struggling to get b’s. maybe you wanted this year to be your year but it’s been a few months you feel your goals slipping out of your reach. maybe you had to let some precious relationships go and you’re still healing after many months. or maybe you’ve felt tired for so long you forgot how warm sunlight feels on your skin or how it feels to belong or laugh until your stomach hurts. you’re so used to failure that it feels so hopeless starting again.

I want you to know that it’s not too late for you. you’re still so young and you can do anything, whether it’s reclaiming your best grades, healing emotionally even making this year different from the last, even if it sounds untrue. if it sounds untrue you need to change your mind. it’s not too late to find yourself, do things for yourself and not others or let go of your past. you have the capacity for so much growth and transformation and you have so much capacity to learn, whether it’s knowing how to stop letting little things affect you, how to make pretty cakes or art or how the universe works.

there are so many changes you can make, whether it’s changing bad thoughts one at a time, learning how to take care of yourself despite hating yourself, sleeping earlier and getting out of bed earlier, going for a run three times a week, decluttering your room, planning every day carefully, making it to one hour of studying without getting distracted, starting a conversation with someone that looks friendly, asking for help, going to the library again, saying yes to hanging out with your friends, not caring anymore about what people and just trying your best instead of discouraging yourself with your own snide commentary. you can’t wonder what’s the point because you can’t see the point after so many years of tiredness. but there is a point and that is it’s hard to be happy again until you change something and feel the sense of accomplishment that you haven’t felt in so long.

you have so much potential regardless of where you started or where you are now. you can’t let your learned helplessness stop you. it’s not too late to start new and decide that this time, you won’t stop until you get there, because why not. when I mean start new, I mean start with a new mindset, a clean slate. I mean forget everyone who has ever hurt you, forget all your failures, embarrassments, or anything anyone has told you that broke your heart. I mean let go of anything you don’t need anymore. start new with fresh eyes and fresh hope like a child because while you may get hurt there will always be more happiness and excitement to counteract that and at the very least you will feel alive. it’s never too late to let go of yourself, your worst enemy and become a new version of yourself. it’s not too late to feel alive again.

the sun was shining today and I feel so happy :’) I started studying early in the morning, had a team meeting at work which was very nice, rode my bike home and enjoyed breathing some fresh air. I also made vegan hot choclate to have enough energy for my afternoon studying session :’) my next exam is in 9 days and I really hope it won’t be too difficult.. this semester has gone by so fast :D